Application to Live in Tennessee
Name:______________ Nickname:____________ CB Handle:____________
Address: (RFD):_________________________________________________
Daddy: (If unknown attach list of three suspects):_____________________
Mamma:_______________________________
Neck Shade: [] Light Red [] Medium Red [] Dark Red
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper:______ Lower:________
Name of Pickup Owned:______________ Height of truck:__________
Truck Equipped with:
[] Gun Rack [] 4-Wheel Drive [] Confederate Flag [] Toothpick Holder
[] 8-Track [] Load of Wood [] Hijacker Shocks [] Mud-grip Tires
[] Big Dog [] Racoon Hide [] Dual CB Antenna [] Fuzz Buster
[] Spitoon [] Camper Top [] Mag Wheels [] Air Horns
[] Mud Flaps
Number of Empty Beer Cans on Floor Board of Pickup:_________
Bumper Stickers:
[] Eat More Possum [] Peanut Butter [] Honk if You Love Jesus
[] Wave if You're Horny [] Redman Chewing Tobacco
Define the following (Must be 90% correct):
[] Grits [] Muscadine [] Cobbler [] Tater
[] Goobers [] Brogans [] Fatback [] Pig Skins
[] Collards [] Redeye Gravy [] Tote [] Pinto Beans
[] Sidemeat [] Sawmill Gravy [] Poke [] Turnip Salit
[] Chitlins [] Soppin Syrup [] Cracker [] Shit-on-Shingle
[] Ramps
Favorite Vocalist:
[] Donna Fargo [] Conway Twitty [] Loretta Lynn [] Hank Williams
[] Elvis [] Slim Whitman [] Tammy Wynette [] Porter Wagoner
[] Johnny Cash [] Willie Nelson [] George Jones [] Box Car Willie
Favorite Recreation:
[] Square Dancin' [] Possum Huntin' [] Skinny Dippin'
[] Craw Daddin' [] Gospel Singin' [] 4-Wheelin'
[] Drankin' [] Bull Chip Throwin' [] Blue Grass Conventions
[] Spitten' backy [] Other
Weapons Owned:
[] Deer Rifle [] Bird Gun [] Varmit Rifle [] Sawed-off Shotgun
[] Tire Iron [] Pick Handle [] Log Chain [] Power (chain) saw
Number of Hound Dogs:___ Type: [] Blue Tick [] Black & Tan [] Beagle
Emblem: [] John Deere [] CAT [] Budweiser [] McCullock Chain Saw
[] PBR [] NAPA [] Coors [] Skoals
Number of Weeks Unemployed:_____
Number of Welfare Checks Received:_____
Number of Dependents (Legal):______ (Claimed):______
Memberships:
[] KKK [] NRA [] Moose [] PTL Club [] VFW [] American Legion
[] Bass Club [] United Sons/Daughters of the Confederacy
Length of Left Leg:______ Length of Right Leg:______
Does your truck contain some part painted the official state color,
Primer Red?______
How many cars do you have jacked up on blocks in your front yard?______
How many kitchen appliances (working or not) will you keep on your front porch?______
Will you be a part of the Tennessee Intelligentsia with a measurable IQ?______
Do you wear mostly double knit polyester pants with snags?______
Do you own any shoes, if so how many? ______
What year did you last purchase shoes? ______
Are you married to any of the following?
[] Sister [] Cousin [] Sow Do you know her name? ______
Does your wife weigh more than your pickup?______
Can you sign your name and get the spelling right every time?______
Have you ever stayed sober for a whole weekend?______
Can you count: Past 10 with your shoes on? ______
To 21 with your fly up? ______
Medical Information:
Do you have at least 2 of the following:
[] BO [] Crabs [] Head Lice [] Bad Breath
[] Scabies [] Trench Mouth [] Runny Nose
Do you know any words that have more than 4 letters?______
Have you EVER had more than one bath in a week? ______
Posted August 22, 2001