| Funny Sayings |
| *If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried* |
| *Be nice to your kids....they'll choose your nursing home* |
| *Beer contains vitamin "P"* |
| *Procrastinators unite!.....tomorrow* |
| *If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat their food?* |
| *Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else* |
| *There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't |
| *A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one* |
| *I'm not as think as you drunk I am* |
| *I can resist everything except temptation* |
| *I had a phsycic boyfriend but he left me before we met* |
| *If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?* |
| *What happens if you get scared half to death twice?* |
| *Dr. Kevorkean called. He can fit you in next Tuesday* |