“My Reoccurring Nightmare”

I often find myself, jolting out of bed in the middle of the night due to a reoccurring nightmare. It begins simple enough; I’m leaving for some reason though it remains unknown. I walk to my car while Mom cries and waves goodbye. I get in and I pull out of the driveway.
As I drive down the road the car seems to take control of where I’m going. It’s taking me farther and farther from home. I feel the need to get out of the car but I can’t I’m just driving away. Somewhere in the depths of my mind I know I’ll never see my family again.
Suddenly it seems like I’ve been driving forever. I look out the window and I see a desert. The brush rustles as I speed by. I’m scared and I’m nervous, but I don’t know why. Yet I continue to drive.
It seems like forever when I finally see an end to the desert. There are huge mountains towering ahead of me and I’m terrified. I pull over to the side of the road and contemplate turning around. No, I can’t turn around now; I’ve come too far. Though come to what, I do not know.

I stop for gas about halfway threw the mountains. On my way back to my car I spot a payphone and stop to make a call. I dial a familiar number and listen to it ring. “Hello?“ I hear an answer, it’s my mother’s voice I realize, it’s weary and cracking, like it does when something terrible has happened. “Hello?“ she calls again there is a hint of desperation in her voice as she searches for someone on my end. I open my mouth to say hello, but it’s like my throat is frozen, she calls out again and I want to tell her something, I want to tell her that I am alright, I want to tell her that I love her, that I miss her, that everything will be alright but I can’t. I’ve lost my nerve and I quickly hang up. I run back to the car and bring the engine roaring to life. As I pull back on the highway and begin speeding off I can’t help but look back. When the gas station has disappeared over the hill, my attention turns back to the road and I drive on.

Finally I have reached my destination, though I’m not exactly sure where that is. I am in a large parking lot that is nearly half-full, there is a large, brick building towering in front of me. It looks kind of like I’m at a back door. I walk up to that door and find it is unlocked so I step in. There is a small sitting room before me, with are several chairs and three end tables. A small silk plant sits on the one nearest the door I have just entered. Magazines are strewn about. There is a large metal door ahead of me with a keypad next to it. I quickly make my way over to it and type a number into it, there is a loud buzzing noise and the door swings opens. I step in side there is a long hallway before me. At the end of the hall there are several flights of stairs. The door slams behind me and I jump, I turn back and make my way down the hall to the stairwell. I go up about three floors before stepping off onto the landing. I walk down the hall counting the doors as I pass them. One… Two… Three… Four… Five… Six… Seven… At the eighth door I stop, I can hear muffled voices on the other side but I can’t tell what they are saying. I fish in my pocket and pull out my keys. I find the right one and stick it in the lock. I am nervous. What will they think of me?

I turn the key and the lock clicks, the sound is almost deafening to my ears, the voices inside have stopped. I draw my key out and put it back in my pocket. As I reach back out to turn the knob my fingers gently brush the cool metal, my heart freezes, and I wake up.

Kathleen Derr