| Four Whole Minutes- October 2000 1. These nights I stare and want looking out windows, breathing empty and miss what I can't name "I want I want I want I want" I need arms to hug and hold a voice "I understand"ing and let me be empty. let me drain and not need and which would you rather empty hand or heart? I want something full or empty (or somehow both) and 2. Do you forgive me? I lost my heart, it slips away easier than my head though that goes quick too I need to run and fly once and I need to swim deep in water with bubbles in my nose rebound from the bottom... gulp sweet air grateful for where you aren�t (not looking higher at the diving board) but 3. No one is a swan I know they stretch their necks and try to pale and soar but everyone wishes and curses glossy white picture teeth because even she ain't Ms. Troy hey Helen where do you hide your complex (can I see it) she's a 4. Five minute happy bunny then trips in mud and bam you�re a basilisk where the hell can you find your inner toad hideous and heedless I�m not sinking or screaming I�m just wandering floating thinking but hello miss sober queen since when were you special you bitch hypocrite fish belly girl saying woman and running child looking askance, you marshmallow build your pedestal, honey 'cause no one�s got it ready for you with your neck so high 5. are you Plath miss Tori Morrison Toni Amos Sylvia girl damn are you Beloved much Berlioz lover? he was probably sick and scary 6. are you Ophelia yet do you want to be that dust mop lady he sighs for but won't break the glass to push the buttons inside too late the music's written are you forty "oh god I never knew what a surprise thank you for loving me kind sir here�s a nickel would have been a quarter mister slow on the uptake aren�t you where were you twenty years ago when I was still Ophelia" and who wants that well (other than me) see 7. I�m not sad really I�m lifting higher each letter music heals everything for at least four minutes |