[As written by Dean and Kathy Skalbeck]

We gather here, in the sight of God, our Heavenly Father, to unite these two people in a covenant called marriage.

Dean, Kathy, you have asked me to unite the two of you in Holy Matrimony.  But first, let me tell you what God has to say about marriage.

In the garden, God didn’t create Eve at the same time He made Adam.  Our Father, in His infinite wisdom, first let Adam realize how much he needed a helpmate.  God instructed Adam to name all of the animals, and as the animals paraded past Adam two-by-two, he realized how alone he was.

God already knew that it was not good for man to be alone, so He made Adam sleep, and from a piece of Adam’s own body, our Heavenly Father fashioned Eve.  He didn’t make Eve from just any body part, but from a rib; that part of the body that protects the heart.  And so, is a woman made to protect the hearts of her husband and family.

Also note, that Adam didn’t go hunting for a wife.  No.  God brought Eve to Adam when the time was right, and not before. Dean and Kathy, you believe that God has brought you together in His own good time.

God established the marital relationship as the first human institution.  The responsibility to honor one’s parents does not cease with leaving and the union of husband with wife, but does represent the inauguration of a new and primary responsibility.  In this way, “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  “One flesh” speaks of a complete unity of parts making a whole.  A marital union is complete and whole with two people.

The Book of Proverbs was written and compiled by the wisest man who has ever lived, King Solomon. The main theme of this book is wisdom, and The Book of Proverbs has quite a bit to say about marriage.

 Proverbs 5:18b tells a husband to ”rejoice with the wife of his youth”

Proverbs 12:4a “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband”. 

Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good things, And obtains favor from the Lord”

Proverbs 19:14 “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, But a wise wife is from the Lord”

Proverbs 31 gives the qualities of a good wife.  This proverb says…

This kind of wife does exist, but is hard to find.   The husband feels no need to maintain a jealous guard over his wife or to keep his valuables locked up so that she cannot access them, because she demonstrates impeccable loyalty to her husband.  Her thrift and industry adds to his wealth.

This wife is industrious and gladly does what needs to be done to keep her family happy and healthy.  She is resourceful and entrepreneurial in her investing and reinvesting.  What she produces for her family is good and profitable.  Her family is her first priority.

Her activities result in multiplied fruitfulness for 1. The poor and needy, 2. Her own household, 3. Herself, 4. Her husband, and 5. The community.  She is a skilled manager of the home.  She anticipates her families needs.  She makes a significant contribution to her husband’s position in the community and to his success.  She fears the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22 – 24 & 33b says, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.  And let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

The command is unqualified, applying to every Christian wife, no matter what her own abilities, education, knowledge of Scripture, spiritual maturity, or any other qualifications might be in relation to those of her husband.  Her submission is not the husband’s to command, but for the wife to willingly and lovingly offer.  She submits to the man she possesses as her own.

The Spirit-filled wife recognizes that her husband’s leadership role is not only God-ordained, but is a reflection of Christ’s own loving, authoritative headship of the church.  As the Lord delivered His church from the dangers of sin, death, and hell, so the husband provides for, protects, preserves, and loves his wife, leading her to blessing as she submits.

1 Peter 3:7 says that a “husband is to dwell with his wife with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being joint heirs together of the grace of life”.

Submission is the responsibility of the Christian husband as well.  Though not submitting to his wife as a leader, a believing husband must submit to the loving duty of being sensitive to the needs, fears, and feelings of his wife.  In other words, a Christian husband needs to subordinate his needs to hers.  Peter specifically notes consideration, chivalry, and companionship.

While the wife is fully equal in Christ, and not inferior spiritually because she is a woman, she is physically weaker, and in need of protection, provision, and strength from her husband.  The “grace of life” mentioned in this passage is not salvation, but marriage – the best relationship earthly life has to offer.  The husband is responsible for cultivating companionship and fellowship with his wife. 

Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29 & 33a says, “Husbands, love your wives, just and Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for her.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.   For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.  Never-the-less, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself.”

Though the husband’s authority has been established, the emphasis moves to the supreme responsibility of husbands in regards to their wives, which is to love them with the same unreserved, selfless, and sacrificial love that Christ has for His church.  Christ gave everything He had, including His own life, for the sake of His church, and that is the standard of sacrifice for a husband’s love of his wife.

A Christian husband is to care for his wife with the same devotion that he naturally manifests as he cares for himself – even more so, since his self-sacrificing love causes him to put her first.  In the end, a husband who loves his wife in these ways brings great blessing to himself from her and from the Lord.  When a husband nourishes and cherishes his wife, he provides for her needs so as to help her grow mature in Christ and provides warm and tender affection to give her comfort and security.

1 Corinthians 7:2b-5 says, “let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.  The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does.  And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

Marriage is God’s only provision for sexual fulfillment.  However, marriage should not be reduced simply to that.  Nor should married believers sexually deprive their spouses.  While celibacy is right for the single, it is wrong for the married.  By the marriage covenant, each partner is given the right over the spouse’s body for the satisfaction of the other.

The intimacy and sacredness of the love relationship between believing marriage partners is to be a visual expression of the love between Christ and His church.

Who gives this woman to be married to this man?  “God does.”

Let’s pray for God’s protection on this couple.

Dean, Kathy, join your right hands.  You are about to take vows that create a covenant between yourselves, your families [those you were born into as well as that you both Born Again into], and God.  This covenant can be honorably broken only by death.

Dean, you have said that you want to take Kathy as your wife.  According to God’s Holy Scriptures you will vow to Kathy and to God that

Dean, do you promise to do these things for as long as you both are living?  “I do.”

Kathy, you have said that you want to take Dean as your husband.  According to God’s Holy Scriptures, you will be vowing to Dean and to God that

Kathy, do you promise to do these things for as long as you both are living?  “I do.”

Let’s pray God’s blessing on this covenant.

[Take the rings from the attendants.]

Dean and Kathy, you are exchanging rings as a visible testimony of your commitment to each other.  Let your love for each other be more precious, and more valuable, and longer lasting, and stronger than these rings.  Let the rings forever serve as a reminder of the joy that you feel today as you exchange them.

Dean, take this ring, place it on Kathy’s hand, and repeat after me.

Kathy, with this ring, my promises are sealed to be your faithful and loving husband, in the name of our Heavenly Father, and of His Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

Kathy, take this ring, place it on Dean’s hand, and repeat after me.

Dean, with this ring, my promises are sealed to be your faithful and loving wife, in the name of our Heavenly Father, and of His Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

In as much as you have given yourselves to one another by your vows, and have demonstrated your love and trust by the giving and receiving of rings, by the Power and Authority of God and the laws of the State of New Mexico, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

What God has therefore joined together let no one separate.

You may kiss the bride.

I now present Mr. and Mrs. Dean Skalbeck.

Dean and Kathy Skalbeck, you have also expressed a desire to become part of the Covenant Marriage Movement.

God intends for marriage to be a lifelong covenant relationship between a man and a woman.  God has instilled in the hearts of couples from every walk of life the need to affirm His intent for their marriage.  In signing the covenant, you Dean and you Kathy are joining thousands of other couples across the nation and around the world in affirming the importance of a covenant marriage relationship.  But for you Dean and Kathy, it means committing yourselves to each other to remain steadfast in the unconditional love God expects of you and provides for you.

Do you, Dean and Kathy Skalbeck, wish to enter into this Marriage Covenant between God and yourselves, your families, and your community?  “We do.”

Go to Marriage Covenant page.