Title : With You
Author : Beth and Kathy P.
Series :Voyager
Codes : Voy, C/P
Parts : 3/?
Rating : NC-17
Summery: Contact with the Alpha Quadrant causes Tom's world to start to crumble
Warnings: m/m relationship
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all character written about in this story. I am just taking them out for a walk.
WITH YOU
Stepping into his quarters, Commander Chakotay started to strip off his jacket while looking around for his lover. �He must still be at his old quarters finishing up packing,' he thought to himself. Walking into the bedroom he placed his jacket on the bed and began to remove the rest of his uniform, glad to be out of the confining material.
Walking to the closet he smiled when he saw Tom's clothes neatly hanging beside his own.
Reaching out with a smile, he chose a soft maroon shirt and black pants to wear. Humming to himself in simple domestic pleasure he looked up as he finished buttoning his pants when he heard Tom enter the quarters.
"Hiya, babe," Chakotay called out from the bedroom.
Tom stopped for a moment to steadied himself for the questions he knew Chakotay was about to ask him regarding the events that took place on the bridge earlier that day. Forcing a smile he moved forward again, unconsciously rubbing his injured fingers together to cause a bit of pain.
Tom entered the bedroom only to stop short at the sight that greeted him. Standing by the bed, a half-dressed Chakotay was beaming a grin at Tom. His strong muscular chest a magnet for Tom's eyes. Squashing down the urge to jump the older man, Tom approached his lover slowly and placed the box he was carrying on the bed. "Hiya to you too," he replied. "Looking good there, Chakotay," he added tilting his chin in the direction of his lover.
Chakotay's smile deepened, bringing out the dimples Tom loved. "You look almost good enough to eat, big man," Tom said as he moved to the older man and placed both hands on the older man's shoulders. Dropping his gaze he stated to lightly kneed the strong muscle. Tom fought to control the war within him, knowing that any moment now Chakotay was going to ask him how he was feeling.
Looking at the younger man Chakotay brought his hand under Tom's chin and gently raised his face until blue eyes looked into his. Seeing the uncertainly there Chakotay broke the light grip the pilot had on his shoulders and drew the younger man into his arms.
Closing his eyes wearily, Tom laid his head on the strong shoulder of his lover. �My rock,' Tom thought to himself.
After a few moment Chakotay squeezed him softly and asked, "How are you feeling?"
Tom sighed. Staring off into space he replied, "Tired."
Reaching up, Chakotay started to stroke the soft blond hair, "You must be feeling some mixed emotions there, poocah. Everyone is, but I think you probably feel them deeper than the rest of us."
Tom pushed off from the warm haven of Chakotay's chest and sat listlessly on the bed. "I honestly don't know what to think," Tom said while looking at the floor. He started to rub his sore fingers together again, the brief flash of pain almost comforting to his tormented soul.
Chakotay kneeled down to be level with his lover sitting on the bed and took the hand that Tom was rubbing. "You cut your fingers?" he asked.
Tom's gaze flew up to meet his lover's. Not seeing any accusations in his glance he knew that the question was an innocent one. "Uh, yeah. I cut them on an old razor I had laying around in my old quarters."
Chakotay brought the injured fingers to his lips and gently kissed each hurt digit. "I wish I could kiss away all your injuries, Tom."
Tom smiled brightly, "Well, you know, you are in a position there for a little action." he said with a short laugh, motioning at how Chakotay was kneeling in front of the bed.
"I am, aren't I," Chakotay replied as he began to slide one hand up his lover's thigh. Chakotay nudged Tom leg apart wider and moved into the space between them. "Would you like a little action, Tom?" Chakotay asked as he began to unbutton Tom's pants.
Tom leaned back on the bed, "Yes, please. Yes," he replied starting to lose himself in his arousal.
Drawing the younger man's pants and boxers down to the floor to pool at his ankles, Chakotay bent over and kissed a lean thigh, while bringing his hand up to caress the other. Slowly he began to kiss and lick his way up the pale skin until he reached his goal. "Let me relax you, Tom," Chakotay whispered as he drew his fingers lightly over the testicles and then lightly gripped the base of Tom's cock.
Sighing in pleasure Tom brought his hips slightly off the bed trying to increase the contact along his stiffening penis. He brought his hands up to caress his lover's head when Chakotay's warm mouth captured his cock. Running his fingers through the dark hair, Tom whispered words of encouragement. "Yes, like that, more," he beseeched softly.
Quickening the pace, Chakotay again dipped his fingers to gently fondle the soft sacs beneath his lover's penis. He knew that Tom was reaching his orgasm when his thighs started to tremble. Increasing the suction he felt a thrill as Tom screamed his name and began to come down his throat. Chakotay wrung out each ounce of pleasure he could before letting his lover's softening penis slip out of his mouth. Laying his head on the younger man's lap, and encircling his arms around his lover's waist, Chakotay again thanked the spirits for allowing him to have Tom in his life.
Tom leaned back to catch his breath, trying to regain his senses after his shattering orgasm. Chakotay knew all the right buttons to push to make him come hard and loud. His brain started to come down from orbit while he lazily stroked the beloved head laying in his lap. "I love you so much," Tom whispered.
Chakotay raised his head and looked at his lover. Standing up, he finished stripping the younger man and place the box Tom had put on the bed on the floor. Sitting on the bed he pulled the pilot into his arms and laid down, arranging Tom so he laid half on his bare chest. "I love you too, Tom," he softly replied. "You are the other half of my soul."
A single tear slipped from Tom's closed eye, and trickled down to the older man's chest, as he listened to the obvious love in the older man's voice. "I don't know what I did to ever deserve you," Tom said softly.
"Hey," Chakotay began smiling, "it should be the other way around. I will never understand what you see in an old man like me."
"Never say that," Tom started as he lifted off the warm chest. "You will always be the one I need. You're a thousand times better than me."
Chakotay was startled for a moment from the vehemence in Tom's voice. "Tom, baby, I am not a thousand times better than you. We're equals, in an equal partnership."
Tom looked into the dark eyes of his lover and sighed, logically knowing the older man was right, but emotionally not being able to accept that statement. Bending down to softly kiss the parted lips below him, he returned his head to Chakotay's chest. "I don't know what I would do with out you. You always sort out the messes inside my head, and make me see clearly."
"Years of experience," Chakotay said trying to lighten the mood.
Tom slapped his lover playfully on the stomach, "How many times do I have to tell you that you are not an old man. A little bit more ripe then me perhaps, but not old."
"Ripe? I'll show you ripe you young whipper snapper," Chakotay replied laughing as he sat up and pushed the younger man underneath him. Bringing his fingers up and down Tom's side he smiled evilly when Tom began to laugh uncontrollably.
"Stop! St..stop, please," Tom begged as his lover tickled him half to death. "I'll do anything you want, just stop."
Chakotay looked down at his lover, "Anything eh? Let me think, what shall I make you do for me," he whispered as he leaned down as if to kiss Tom. "I know, make me supper, wench. I'm starving." he finally decided as he slapped Tom on the ass.
Tom laughed and pushed Chakotay off him so he could sit up. "Supper, that's all you can think of when you have can have me."
"I can have you anytime, Tom," Chakotay said slyly as Tom hit him in the arm. "But right now my stomach is the one in charge."
"Instead of your dick right?" Tom asked laughingly.
"You got it, babe. Now I seem to remember a certain blondie saying that he would do anything for me if I stopped tickling him. Hop to it, babe."
Tom slipped off the bed and pulled on his pants, "Well what do you want to eat then, darling," he said sugary sweet.
"What ever you think is good, hunnybuns." Chakotay replied in the same sing song voice.
"I take it a pot roast is out of the question?" Tom asked as he watched Chakotay shudder at the thought of eating an animal. "I know, how about some nice vegetable pies?"
"Sounds good, babe." Chakotay said as he got off the bed and followed Tom into the main room.
**********************
The next morning Tom woke up in the warm haven of Chakotay's arms. Looking up quickly he noticed the big man still fast asleep.
Burrowing further into the warm chest, Tom began to think about the possibilities of returning to the Alpha Quadrant. The chances of them returning home were growing bigger and bigger. He knew his father would never approve of his relationship with Chakotay. Hell his father never approved of anything he ever did.
Turning in the soft grip of his lover's arms, Tom felt the uneasy feelings washing over him and couldn't help but feel unworthy of having any happiness in his life. He still didn't know how to keep these negative thoughts at bay.
Sighing softly, Tom disengaged himself from Chakotay's arms and quietly slipped out of their bed. Walking into the bedroom he stopped in front of the mirror and stared at his reflection. Feeling of self loathing rising up in him. �You will never deserve that man still sleeping in your bed," he thought bitterly to himself.
Turing on the water he splashed his face a few times, hoping to wash away some of those feelings. When that did not help he stood in the bathroom, helplessly, until his gaze was drawn to the razor sitting on the edge of the sink.
�No,' he thought to himself. �I will not cut myself.'
Clenching his hands into tight fists to resist the urge, he gasped softly as his fingers sent a bolt of unexpected pain through his system, totally masking his emotional pain.
Lowering his head in defeat he slowly reached for the razor and brought it to his arm. With a slow steady hand he brought the sharp edge against his flesh and made a shallow cut along his lower arm.
Blood quickly flowed the surface of the stinging wound.
Tom revealed in the physical pain. The control that he had when he cut himself was overwhelming. Knowing that he was the one to cause the physical pain was a balm to his tortured soul. With that thought in mind, he quickly made another, deeper cut on his arm, parallel to the bleeding line below it.
Tom watched fascinated as his blood quickly flowed to the top of the wound and began to spill slowly down his arm.
He looked up startled a moment later when he heard movement in the other room. Panicking he quickly cleaned the razor and placed it back on the sink and moved into the shower letting the water carry away all evidence of the blood.
Standing under the hot streams of the water he applied pressure to his self inflicted wounds and prayed that Chakotay would not enter the shower with him.
Tom tensed, cursing to himself, as Chakotay slipped into the shower behind him. Holding his injured arm close to his body, Tom couldn't help the sigh of pleasure that escaped from his lips as Chakotay softly kissed his neck.
Turing easily in the older man's embrace Tom smiled as Chakotay whispered, "Morning, beautiful."
"Good morning, handsome," Tom replied before Chakotay captured his lips in a welcoming kiss.
Tom slid his wounded arm up and around Chakotay, hiding it from his lover's view.
"How about we meet for dinner tonight to celebrate your moving in?" Chakotay asked softly while holding the younger man to him.
Tom nodded in consent while cringing slightly inside. His earlier thoughts of his father's disappointment entering his mind once again.
Unconsciously Tom brought his other arm up to embrace Chakotay about the neck. He grasped his cut forearm in a tight grip. The pain making him forget his father and his heartache.
Not betraying the pain he was felling, he reached down and slapped Chakotay on the butt as the older man started to kiss and nip at his neck.
"We'll never make it out of our quarters if you start this," Tom said forcing a laugh.
"I know. You're just to damn sexy in the morning."
Tom smiled brilliantly at his lover. "Why don't you finish up your shower. That way we still have time for breakfast," Tom said, stepping out of the shower.
"Ok," Chakotay replied a bit disappointed that Tom left.
Tom sighed softly as he wrapped a towel around his waist and entered the bedroom. He started to reach for the small dermal regenerator lying on the dresser. His hand hesitated about the regenerator as he thought. With a shake of his head, he turned away, deciding to keep the cuts on his arm for the time being, as a reminded that he could deal with his emotional pain.
Quickly throwing on his uniform to hide the evidence of his abuse, he entered the main room of the quarters to wait for Chakotay.
TBC.......
Liked it? Hated it? E-Mail comments to Beth and Kathy.Thanks!
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