Reaffirmation
5/30/05

J/C
Rated G

Their souls never did belong to Paramount, but all the profit does.
No infringement intended.

Another scene. Only took me 2 years.
Please read "Release" first here: Release

The muse strikes infrequently, but when she does, she just won't let me alone. 
Contact me: [email protected]

*****
He looked at her, and she thought he might really be seeing her. 
Her hurt, her anger, her fear changing slowly to confusion, resistance, and finally, just a glimmer of hope. 

�Chakotay�� she spoke his name in an attempt to return her spinning mind to reality. She couldn�t take this at face value. 
Nothing had ever been easy for her when it came to her heart. Relationships had seemed so easy at the start with Justin, 
with Mark. But both became so complicated in the end that it was difficult to look back on them fondly. With Chakotay, it 
had always been complicated. Not for one moment had she been able to look into the eyes of this man and not see multiple 
versions of herself warring with one another over what to feel, how to behave. Perhaps, fate had a sense of irony. 
Perhaps with Chakotay, with all the complexity at the outset, the ending could be simple.

�Kathryn, I know we�ve only been back for a few days. I know you are still my commanding officer. I know we will be 
debriefed by Starfleet, interviewed by the media, reunited with our friends and family. But standing here on our bridge, 
OUR bridge right now, the only thing I can think about is us. I can�t let you disappear into what�s waiting for us without 
having one honest, real conversation with you about what we�ve shared in the past seven years.�

He hurried the words out as though he might be cut off at any second, but when he finished speaking, she just stared into 
his eyes. 

�All right.� She agreed softly. �Now?�

�Unless you need to be somewhere��

�No, not for a few hours, anyway. Do you want to do this here?�

�No, no. I have an idea. Come with me.�

He extended his hand, palm up, and she took it in hers, rose, and walked beside him off her bridge. Walking beside him 
didn�t require looking him in the eye. 

Once on the lift, headed for the holodeck, he looked down at their clasped hands with a small smile and splayed his fingers 
in invitation. She answered by intertwining her smaller ones with his. Something about the feel of that tender skin in 
contact made her shiver. As they exited the lift and moved toward the holodeck, she was conscious of their mutual decision 
not to hurry. Time was ticking much more quietly than ever before in their acquaintance. 

�Computer, please load program �Chakotay Gamma One.�� 

He tapped a few commands into the panel one-handed, silently refusing to release her hand. They entered, and she took a 
deep breath, scanning her surroundings. 

�You must have spent some time on this, Chakotay. The detail is impressive.�
Lots of hours to kill on those long delta quadrant nights, he thought to himself. 

�I just had a clear image in my mind. I wanted it to be true to that image. I�ve never stopped making changes�it�s been a 
sort of unfinished work in progress for years.�

It was as though she had traveled back in time. She was standing on the bank of a river�lush with trees and grass and 
greenery�water flowing by�blue sky, white clouds, birds chirping somewhere in the distance. But what affected her the most 
was the scent. It was the one of her five senses that she thought of the least on Voyager. Between Neelix�s cooking and the 
recycled air, her sense of smell was far from pampered on her ship. But here, in this place, she had only to close her eyes 
and inhale to know exactly where she was.

New Earth. 

Five years in the past.

A lifetime ago.

Flowers�something like freesia, she thought. Just a hint of the evening dew that had begun to settle on the banks. Warm pine 
needles and that earthy scent of the forest floor in springtime.
As she let out her breath, she slowly opened her eyes and looked over to find him smiling down at her. Not his polite, 
first-officer-entertaining-company smile, but the smile she seemed to remember went along with the scent. It took her a 
second to realize she was smiling, too. 

�Now, wait just a second,� she teased, �I thought this conversation was supposed to be about our time on the ship�not our 
longest stretch of time off it.� She took a step forward, along the path that ran by the river, and he followed, still not 
relinquishing his hold on her.

�I always thought we had some of our best talks here. It seemed like the right setting� to get some perspective,� he sounded 
serious now, calm.

�Depends on what perspective you�re looking for.�

�True.�

They kept a slow pace, watching the river, the path ahead, nothing in particular.

�So how do you want to start this? The present? The past?�

�I�m tempted to skip over all of that and start with the future. But then, that wasn�t my point. Let�s just pick up where 
we left off the last time we were here.�

�We did just leave off, didn�t we? Not much resolution. Not much closure.�

�It wasn�t easy, leaving like that�I won�t lie. I wanted so much to talk to you. But when we got back to the ship, it 
seemed that there was no point in talking. You had decided what you needed to do. I could live with it, or move on. I guess 
you could see I lived with it for a long time.�

�I knew I needed you too much as a friend, a confidante, a first officer to jeopardize it all for a romance.� She paused, 
took a breath, blinked hard, and finished, �And eventually, you did move on.� 

�That, Kathryn,� he stopped, stepped across directly in her path and grabbed her other hand, �is where you are wrong.� 

She couldn�t help but look up, into his eyes. And when she did, she saw that he wasn�t feeding her a line. There was a 
desperation shining through.

�Well then, what would you call your relationship with Seven?� she asked calmly, with almost an academic interest in his 
answer.

�Seven was a beautiful woman who developed a crush on the man in love with her mentor. Since the man couldn�t have the one 
he wanted, he convinced himself he could be content with the one who wanted him.� 

�Another ancient legend, Chakotay?�

�I�m afraid I�m just not willing to associate the person who sought comfort with Seven with the person I am right now, 
standing her with you.�

�Funny, I�ve had the same trouble.�

�I guess part of me finally gave up.�

�And how could I blame you? After all, I basically told you to do just that five years ago.� Her eyes snapped to his from 
where they had been wandering, somewhere over his shoulder. �But I have blamed you. I still do, right now.� She saw what 
she would have sworn was fear flicker across his face. �And I guess that just shows you that I never did give up.� 

He blinked once, twice, and a smile twitched across his lips.

�Kathryn Janeway, that sounds suspiciously like a beginning.�



*****
 

Just a scene. Would anyone like more? Drop me a line. [email protected]

me