Total Recall

 

Part 9 – Playing By The Rules

 

Jennifer waited until she was out of sight before slowly and awkwardly lowering herself into a chair. She had been mentally trying to time the contractions but it had proved impossible while concealing the feeling of pain from Jarod. Away from him she could permit herself the luxury and wasn't surprised to find that they were only minutes apart. At least, she thought grimly, the baby had waited until the correct day. In fact, the way things were going, it looked as though it was going to be born right on schedule. She leaned her head back against the wall and tried not to scream as the next wave of contractions hit. Turning her head, she saw James standing at the end of the corridor and, as he walked towards her, the pain receded. Her energy levels, though, were not sufficient to prompt a long conversation.

 

"Get...Sydney."

 

The words came out as a gasp and the boy eyed her in amazement. "Why? What's happened?"

 

She eyed him and he shrank slightly back in a movement that would have looked amusingly reminiscent of Broots when he was facing Raines, had the situation been different. "Don't argue with me, James. Just...get Sydney for me."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Don't I look sure?" She paused for a breath. "If you don't get him..."

 

"Okay, okay. I'm going!"

 

He took off down the hall and Jennifer caught the attention of the nurse who had just come out of another room.

 

"Mary-Ann, get the doctor for me."

 

"On my way." In a few seconds, Jennifer could hear a voice paging the doctor as Sydney came up the hall. It took no time for the doctor to realize what was about to happen and Jennifer was quickly on a bed in the delivery room.

 

"Should I...tell anyone?" Sydney stood by the bed, looking very helpless, as it became obvious that the birth was imminent.

 

Jennifer, being between contractions, eyed him critically. "Were you planning to call Jarod to witness this? Get him up and bring him in? Of course not! Besides, this gives you the opportunity for an almost-new experience."

 

He backed away slightly and, putting up both hands in a gesture of helplessness, looked suddenly inept.

 

"But...when I studied...that's why I did psychiatry..."

 

Jennifer grabbed his hand, knowing that the next bout of pain was only a short time away. "Don't be so sensitive, Syd. It's a perfectly natural and beautiful thing."

 

He eyed her in much the same way that the boy had. "Beautiful? Jennifer, there are plenty of words that I could use to describe you at this moment but..."

 

She smiled half-heartedly as the contraction deepened. "Sydney, I know you always regretted not seeing this for your own son. I also know that, as Jarod can't be here, then he'd want you to be. Please."

 

As the doctor entered, Sydney nodded slightly and allowed her to take a firmer grip on his hand. It was only a short time before the cry of the newborn baby echoed through the room and Jennifer was able to appreciate what she had missed the previous time, being under anesthetic during the emergency delivery. Only when the baby girl was put into her arms did she miss Jarod's presence. Smiling up at Sydney, she held the wrapped bundle out to him. He hesitantly took it but his grasp tightened and he smiled as he looked down into the small, red face of the newborn.

 

"Would you...do me a favour? Don't tell Jarod. I want to be the one to do that."

 

Sydney looked at her in time to see her yawn widely. "And what should I say if he asks where you are?"

 

Jennifer smiled tiredly. "Tell him I'm resting. It'll be the truth, anyway. But I'll come down to see him tomorrow or the next day at the latest." She looked up again. "Oh, and don't let Kyle in until he's seen me first."

 

At this point a nurse took the baby from Sydney and some time later Jennifer was taken up to a room that had been prepared for her.

 

When she awoke the next morning, her eyes roved around the room and connected with those of a person sitting in a chair against the wall opposite.

 

"Broots!" She slowly pulled herself up in bed. "When did you get here?"

 

"Sydney called me some time ago. I've been trying to legitimately arrange things for a while but a virus mysteriously appeared in the Centre's mainframe some time ago," he broke off and grinned at her meaningfully. "And I've been trying to fix it ever since. That's why I couldn't get here earlier."

 

"And Angelo?"

 

"He's safe. You've really thought this whole thing through, haven't you?"

 

Jennifer smiled. "I've had a lot of time to think." Her face became serious as she thought of the reason for the extra time she had for contemplation. "Have you seen him?"

 

"From outside the room, yeah. He was asleep though."

 

"And Parker?"

 

"Do you really want to know what she said when she first saw me?"

 

Jennifer smiled. "Come to think of it, no, I don't."

 

At this point Sydney entered the room, carrying the new baby and followed by the proud grandparents.

 

"Well, how are we this morning?"

 

Jennifer smiled as Charles lifted the head of the bed and Margaret put an extra pillow behind her head. "Better than I was yesterday. How's she doing?"

 

For an answer, Sydney placed the baby in her arms and she looked down, gently stroking the small head with one hand. When she looked up, there were tears in her eyes and her voice was a whisper. "She looks just like Jarod."

 

Sydney nodded, swallowing hard, but neither Margaret nor Charles was able to respond and Jennifer saw him place one hand on the shoulder of his wife as the two left the room. She looked over at the remaining two men.

 

"Can you get me a wheelchair, Sydney? I want to go and see him."

 

He moved over to the side of the bed. "Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want..."

 

She looked up at him, her mouth twisted to the side and a frustrated look in her eyes. "Will you kindly not treat me like a breakable piece of china? I haven't seen Jarod in almost twenty-four hours and he doesn't need to be worrying about me right now. So if you'll get a chair..."

 

Jarod opened his eyes as the door to his room opened and he looked across at the small procession that entered. Seeing Jennifer being pushed in by Sydney and with a nurse following, he struggled to sit up. Sydney stepped from behind the chair and placed one hand on his shoulder, effectively preventing him from moving as the nurse gently propelled the chair forward until it came to rest by the opposite side of the bed from that at which Sydney stood. As the nurse left again, Jarod slowly turned his head and reached out for Jennifer's hand.

 

"Where have you been? I've missed you."

 

She smiled at him, wrapping her fingers in his and squeezing them gently. "Do you mean, despite the fact that you should have been concentrating on getting better, you've still been thinking about me?"

 

Jarod's eyes responded to her teasing but the curiosity that was implicit in him rapidly took over. "So where were you?"

 

For answer, Jennifer turned and nodded. In response, Jarod saw the door open and a familiar figure entered, carrying a small wrapped bundle that he handed to the baby's mother. Jarod turned inquiring eyes her. "When?"

 

"Yesterday, just after I left your room."

 

"And nobody even...?"

 

"Told you. I know. I wanted to show you myself." She looked up at him for a few seconds, wondering inwardly if she'd done the right thing, before he smiled.

 

"I guess keeping secrets is a hard habit to break. Does Kyle know?"

 

"Of course." She looked back down to the small face and then up again. "Do you want to see him?"

 

Jarod nodded and Jennifer turned to the door. "Broots, would you mind...?"

 

The technician disappeared, followed by Sydney, leaving the two parents alone with the baby. Jennifer gently reached forward and placed the small baby against her father's arm, keeping one hand under it for support. There was a moment of silence before Jarod looked up at her again.

 

"How long has he been here?"

 

"Who?"

 

"Broots."

 

"Since yesterday, or earlier today. I'm not sure which. He was there when I woke up this morning. He told me that he had to do a fair bit of work at the Centre before he could get away. Apparently a virus entered the mainframe and he had to fix it." Jennifer tried not to look conscious as she spoke but she knew from his expression that he realized what she had done. His next question confirmed it.

 

"When did you put the virus on to the mainframe?"

 

Her face sobered and she looked sadly down at the floor. "A couple of days after it all...happened. Sydney and I were talking and I realized that it was what you would have wanted if..." She trailed off and swallowed the tears that threatened to pour down her cheeks.

 

Jarod reached over and gently touched her face with the tips of his fingers as she took the baby out of his arms.

 

"I didn't, though. I'm still here. And I'm not going anywhere."

 

At this point the door reopened and the technician appeared, leading a small boy who took one look at the bed and then scrambled up onto it as Broots left again.

 

"Whoa, slowly," Jennifer cautioned and put out an arm to hold the small boy back from throwing himself at his father.

 

"Daddy, I wanted you so much!"

 

Jarod opened his arms and tried not to show his pain as the boy hugged him but it was only brief and soon Kyle was sitting on the end of the bed, watching as his parents talked. Having to stay quiet, however, was too hard for him and he soon interrupted.

 

"Mommy, can I hold the baby?"

 

Jennifer laughed. "If you sit properly. Remember what we said?"

 

"That she's...what was the word again?"

 

"Fragile."

 

"Yeah, that."

 

Jarod smiled to hear the small voice and he watched as Jennifer put the baby in his son's arms. Jennifer looked up at him.

 

"What should we call her?"

 

Jarod turned from his son to Jennifer and smiled slightly. "I haven't really thought about it, strangely enough. What do you think?"

 

"Em'ly," the little boy piped up. "After Aunty Em'ly."

 

Jennifer glared quickly at Kyle, who gulped and looked guiltily downwards. She then looked at Jarod, who in turn was looking at his son.

 

"Well, what do you think?" Jennifer asked, trying to fill in the awkward pause and hoping for the first time that the coma had slowed Jarod down. He ignored her and concentrated on Kyle.

 

"How do you know Emily?"

 

"Well...I...she..." Kyle's voice gradually faded and he struggled to think of a good enough excuse. Then he brightened and looked up at his father. "I heard Mommy and Sydney talking about her. I thought the name was pretty an' Mommy told me who she was." The little boy smiled proudly at his mother, who raised an eyebrow and watched the smile vanish. Jarod also looked at Jennifer, suspicion obvious on his face.

 

"Plausible as that sounds..." he began, but she gave him no chance to finish.

 

"You don't believe him. Oh well," Jennifer smiled as she turned the chair around and began wheeling away from the bed. "Kyle, come with me. Let's leave Daddy alone for a while. I think," her eyes gleamed with amusement and she winked at a person who was visible to her from her position but not from Jarod's, "that he needs some time without us."

 

She watched as Kyle, his sister still in his arms, carefully slipped off the bed and came walking slowly towards her. Jarod was about to reply when a figure stepped into the prearranged position outside the room. The single word that broke from the patient's mouth contained a note of desperate longing as the door swung open.

 

"Mom!"

 

Jennifer quickly left the room, her smiling son leading the way.

 

~~~~~

 

Miss Parker continued to mutter angrily as she stared glumly out of the window and on to the garden below. The view was hardly stimulating and this was the point in the day that she really hated. Ben and Robert rarely arrived before ten and so, for the hours between being woken by the irritatingly cheerful nurse at six a.m. and when they arrived, she was at a loose end. A noise in the doorway made her turn and she saw Broots and Sydney standing there.

 

"How are you, Parker?"

 

She turned back to the window. "Frustrated, that's how. I mean, how would you be if you had to spend all of your time in this bloody awful place?"

 

"Some of us," Sydney spoke quietly but with meaning, "are here, not because we have to but because we want to be."

 

Miss Parker look away, in that moment trying to disentangle to knot of emotion that had grown within her, and Sydney continued to speak calmly.

 

"Jennifer asked me to convey to you how sorry she is that it had to happen this way. She would have told you herself but the time that she's away from Jarod, she's spending in bed."

 

"Is she sick?" Miss Parker was surprised by the concern which was evident in her tones and which she had not intended.

 

"No," Sydney replied quietly. "She gave birth to their second child yesterday." He waited to hear if she was going to make a response before turning and exiting the room. Broots continued to stand in the doorway. Not having spoken since he walked in, he was at a loss to know what to say now.

 

"Have you seen my father?" The question took them both by surprise, but Broots eventually found the strength to answer.

 

"He asked about you the day before yesterday, but I said that you were off with Sydney, looking for Jarod. That's been all."

 

"Hmm." The non-committal response forced Broots to change his mind about the attempt at cheerful conversation that he had been about to begin. Instead the technician shuffled his feet for several seconds more before making a bolt out of the door.

 

~~~~~

 

Jennifer suppressed a chuckle as she sat on the bed, her new daughter now well fed and sleeping with infantine ease in her arms, and looked down into the tiny face, gently stroking the girl's cheek with a tender finger. She regretted that Jarod had missed the birth of their second child but she knew that it would take some time before he would be able to arrive at the same decision. The appearance of his family would occupy his thoughts for some time to come, she knew.

 

"Did I do it right?"

 

Jennifer smiled at her son and pulled him towards her, kissing him. "Perfectly, Kyle. Exactly the way we planned."

 

"And he was s'prised, wasn't he?"

 

"What do you think?"

 

"I think, from the looks of things, he's still trying to recover," stated a new voice from the doorway.

 

"Michelle!" Jennifer looked up and waved the woman into the room. "Come and meet the latest addition to the refugees."

 

"That's why I stopped by. Well, that and to try and convince Sydney to come and spend a few days with me."

 

"I think you've got a good chance, now he knows other people are responsible for Jarod and can help to take care of him."

 

The woman came into the room, hugged Kyle and then took the baby that was held out to her, looking down into the small face with a smile before glancing back up at the girl's mother. "How are you doing?"

 

"Oh, I'm fine. There was never much wrong with me and I always get over these things fairly quickly."

 

"And when will you go back and see Jarod?"

 

"When he's had time with the rest of his family. I think it only fair that they have a chance to know him better. And they so desperately want to."

 

"I know how they feel." Michelle's face became suddenly serious. "After Sydney reappeared, part of me just wanted to sit down and talk about everything that we'd missed out on over the years. But another other part couldn't bear to hurt either George or Nicholas. That part won."

 

"I know. Sydney talked to me about it once."

 

"I didn't think he would tell anyone." Michelle's voice held a slight rebuke as she looked up and Jennifer hastened to explain.

 

"I suspect, from the effort he had to make, that I was the first, and I think it was only because he had to tell someone. I was just the closest at the time. It was a while after Kyle was born, and Jarod had sent him a photo. I came into the office - it was my first day back - and we started talking. Of course, he didn't know then that Jarod and I were together. But we talked and, well...I think it's something that the two of you should discuss."

 

"Michelle?" Jennifer looked up to see Sydney in the doorway and smiled, letting the other woman's greeting count for them both.

 

"Hello Sydney."

 

Jennifer, as she received her daughter from the other woman, suddenly felt that she was in the middle of a potentially emotional situation. "Perhaps," she broke into the silence, "Sydney might be willing to go and visit for a while." She smiled as Michelle looked at him with a pleading look. "After all, with all of us here, there isn't a great deal for him to do."

 

Sydney looked from one woman to the other, a smile on his face. "Maybe you're right." A look of concern suddenly replaced the smile. "Are you really sure you can manage without me?"

 

"Would I suggest it if I wasn't? Now go and have some time away from here. I'm sure you can do with it." She smiled slyly, eyeing the shadows under his eyes and the creases denoting stress that lined his forehead.

 

"Perhaps you're right." Sydney gently placed a hand in the middle of Michelle's back and directed her out of the room as Jennifer turned back to her new baby with a grin.

 

~~~~~

 

Miss Parker sat down wearily on the bed and looked around her. This was now the only place where she really felt safe and it was ironic, she thought, that it was also probably the only place where her mother also felt secure. It had been such a relief when Ben had appeared and taken her away from the hospital. She knew that the promise she had made to Sydney was the only thing that had allowed it to happen. Her brow furrowed slightly as she remembered the fact that she had done so. Of course, the glimpse of Jarod that she had had before he woke up had shaken her more than she liked to admit and made the promise come out slightly more easily than it otherwise would have.

 

"Auntie?"

 

"Yes, my baby?" Miss Parker forced a smile onto her face and looked towards the door as the boy appeared.

 

"Daddy's here."

 

"What?!" Parker's expression was pure astonishment but added to that was a small degree of fear. This would be the test of her ability to keep a promise. "Is he alone?"

 

"I didn't see anyone with him."

 

"Run down and tell him that I'll be right there."

 

She watched blindly as he turned and left the room. She heard the high, piping voice and the deep, familiar, resonating tones of her father in reply. Quickly she turned to the dressing table and took off the necklace that she had been wearing and that Ben said had been a favorite of her mother's. Then she left the room.

 

~~~~~

 

Jennifer leaned against the window and watched as the new baby girl made her mobile swing, a faint smile on her face.

 

"Why did you bring me back?"

 

Jennifer looked up in surprise at Jarod as he lay on the bed, a look of anger in the eyes that met her gaze, and her brow furrowed. "I don't understand."

 

"It's been more than a week and I'm not a lot better than I was." Jarod's mouth was twisted with bitter resentment. "Why didn't you just leave me there? I would have been better off."

 

He turned his face away from her and stared at the floor, the muscles in his neck tense. Jennifer bit back the reply that was on the tip of her tongue and remained silent for several seconds, hiding the pain in her eyes as she considered the way to answer him. After several long moments, she decided that the best reply would be in the one language that Jarod appreciated above all others. Picking up the baby girl, she walked over and placed the tiny, warm body against the arm that baby Emily’s father kept rigidly against his side. Then she looked at his averted face, her voice soft.

 

"And what am I supposed to say to her in a few years' time when she asks about her father?"

 

As she spoke, Jennifer had turned away and now walked towards the door, her hand outstretched to open it, when the silence of the room was broken by a single sob of raw emotion. She turned back in time to see him clutch tenderly at the small bundle, holding it close to him. After debating for a brief instant whether to leave the room, she decided against it. Instead she approached the bed, leaning on the edge of it, one hand under the girl's body to help support it. As she leaned forward, her soft voice was full of understanding.

 

"We weren't the ones who kept you alive, Jarod. You did that. And now you need to remember why you did it."

 

He looked at her, his eyes full of glittering tears. "You know why."

 

"But you need to remind yourself of 'why'. Would you really want to leave all this behind, now you've got a chance at life and a family? And it's finally a real family: mother, father, sister and brother as well as us. Would you want to throw all that away?"

 

"But it's so hard..." Jarod looked at her and his eyes revealed the struggle that was going on inside. The words were no more than a whisper but filled with an audible agony. Jennifer leaned over and placed her free hand under his chin, raising his face so that his eyes met hers.

 

"That's why we're here, Jarod, all of us. Your mother can't wait for the chance to have you standing next to her so that she can throw her arms around you and make up for all of the time that you've missed; your father wants to experience one of his favorite things with you - flying; your sister is longing to get you home so that, after all this time, she can begin to realize what it's really like to have a big brother; your brother wants to get to know you so that he can find out what kind of a person he came from; Kyle just wants his Daddy back so that life can get back to normal..." She stopped talking and watched as the tears finally fell in streaks down Jarod's cheeks and onto the hand with which she was holding his chin. "And me..." Jennifer paused and watched his reaction to her words. "I simply love you." She leaned over and kissed him softly on one cheek before getting up and leaving the room.

 

~~~~~

 

Miss Parker stared at the floor of the room in disbelief. He was gone - and not a word of reproach. In fact no words that could be considered in any way to denote affection; no sign of any of the experiences they had shared together. He was leaving to be with her: the woman that had first tried to kill him then married him. It had been as though he was talking to a stranger. Of course she understood why. Fear - fear of Raines, whose anger was directed at anyone within his reach, due to the men in their dark suits who were combing the offices and finding all of the evidence that was wrapped up for them in neat little bundles. It would destroy the Centre and almost everyone involved in it. Except her, it seemed. Despite her father being able to find her, they hadn't. And now she had a new, and far more pleasant, burden of responsibility to carry.

 

"Can I call you Mommy now?"

 

She broke off her train of thought and smiled at the small boy who was clutching her leg. Bending down, she picked him up. "Of course you can. And, since we'll be here for a while..." She walked out of the room, still talking.

 

~~~~~

 

Jennifer moved around Jarod's room, collecting all of the bits and pieces that had amassed over the time they had been there, as they finally prepared to leave the hospital. Jarod sat in a chair opposite and watched as she packed, their earlier conversation having faded into a comfortable silence. Suddenly, with an effect similar to a stone dropping into a still pond, it was broken.

 

"Marry me."

 

Jennifer straightened up and eyed Jarod critically but with a hint of amusement in her eyes as she responded. "Obviously whatever medications they're giving you need to be reduced."

 

"No, I'm serious."

 

"What?" The word was a whisper and Jennifer's eyes widened as she sat down on the edge of the bed, facing him. "Jarod, I thought we agreed..."

 

"But that was before. Things have changed. I've changed." He paused. "In all of the nightmares I've had here, they've always been about losing you. I can't bear for that to happen, not now. Not ever."

 

"And you want...?" She stopped, unable to finish the sentence.

 

"I want you to marry me."

 

There was a very long pause. Jarod began to wonder if he had done the right thing and only the eyes looking at him prevented him from wriggling slightly in anticipation. Finally she leaned forward and put one hand on his.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

He struggled into a more upright position, his expression indignant. "Yes, of course I'm sure! I wouldn't ask you if..."

 

"Jarod, do you remember when we first talked about this, all the reasons...?"

 

"It's not going to change anything. Especially now, with Mom and Dad here." He stopped. "I've really thought about this and, if you're willing, then I am, too."

 

~~~~~

 

Sydney stared out at the crashing waves and listened as the sounds of the ocean filled his ears. It had been more than a month since Jarod and the others had left the hospital and, although he had occasionally heard from them, it had been only an intermittent message, until now. He gently extracted a small book from his pocket. In the sudden rush of leaving, it had been overlooked and Sydney had rescued it before he and Michelle also left, eventually finding a place where they could live, far enough away from the Centre and close enough to Nicholas for both their comforts.

 

"Sydney."

 

He turned to see Jarod with a boy that Sydney instantly recognized riding on his shoulders. Jennifer was visible a short distance away, a baby in her arms and another, older boy walking beside her.

 

"It's good to see you again - and looking so well!"

 

"Well, I made a quick recovery."

 

There was a short pause until Jarod knelt and Kyle slipped off his back onto the sand.

 

"Run and tell Mommy to come here."

 

"Yes, Daddy." Kyle gave his father a look of pure adoration before running off as the two men stepped towards a picnic table.

 

"Have you heard from Miss Parker?"

 

Sydney looked at Jarod in surprise at the question. "No, not since you left. I gave her a call her then to tell her what was going on. We didn't talk for very long, but I understand she and Robert are living with Ben in Maine."

 

"One of the few things I gave her that she really appreciates."

 

Sydney looked sad for a moment. "I think that's true."

 

At this point, Jennifer joined the others, carrying the baby girl in her arms as Kyle pulled the younger version of Jarod along the sand.

 

"How are you, Sydney? Keeping busy?"

 

"Definitely." He kissed her on the cheek. "How about yourself?"

 

"I've got more work that I really need, especially with these three at home." The adults sat down and watched as Kyle and James started to build a sandcastle.

 

"Do you still move around a lot?"

 

Jarod grinned. "No, not as much as I used to. For one thing, the pursuit isn't as aggressive, maybe because it's more of a vendetta than an actual chase."

 

"Also because you don't leave her any hints like you used to," Jennifer put in with a smile. "It was always more difficult to find you without clues."

 

"Not that the clues were easy to solve." He grinned slightly wickedly. "But that was always the way I intended."

 

Jennifer, unable to help herself, looked at Sydney. "Was there a reason for us to come here? Other than to see you, I mean."

 

The older man smiled. "I wanted to return this." He pushed the small book across the table and Jarod grabbed it.

 

"You had it then. I've been mourning its loss ever since we left."

 

"I promised to redo it for him, but he wanted that one. He was worried that Miss Parker may have had it, although how she was supposed to have it is something that he's never been able to tell me." She grinned and glanced over but Jarod had ignored her as he flicked through to a specific page. He creased the corner, making it easier to identify the next time he searched and then closed the book and slipped it into his shirt pocket.

 

"Which one are you marking?"

 

Jarod took the book out again and opened it. He glanced quickly at Jennifer and smiled before glancing down at the children, slipping one hand into hers while holding the book open with the other. His voice, when he began to read, was deeper than usual with the emotion that he felt.

 

"Remember always to say what you mean. If you love someone, tell them. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you decide that it is the right time, it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are today...The difference between doing all that you can or having regrets which may stay with you forever."

 

Part 10

 

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