Parts V-VIII
Victoria lay awake thinking of what she�d said to Nick�not that she regretted a word of it!�and wondering where he might be. On his way out of San Francisco, she hoped, and she suspected that he was. She didn�t lose her temper easily or often, but when she did, none of her children had ever ignored the warning.
Of course, he was concerned about her! She understood and appreciated that. But to follow her to San Francisco�to spy on her�to actually burst into her room�that was unconscionable! How he could even suspect that Royce Wardell would. . . Royce. She�d been trying not to think of him�the way he�d held her, those too-brief kisses that had stirred her deeply�and most of all, lying in his arms in the bed. Even Nick storming the citadel hadn�t erased the security of those arms, the thrill of his body next to hers. . .
She sat up in bed. Stop it, Victoria! You�re too old for dreaming! The mystery of the bedroom is long gone! You know what it�s like! She lay down again. And oh, dear God, you know you�re in love with Royce Wardell!
**********
They breakfasted together the next morning in a secluded corner of the dining room. They didn�t really meet each other�s eyes�and they didn�t speak of Nick. Finally, over a third cup of coffee, Royce said, �Why don�t you come with me to sign those papers, and then we�ll have the rest of the day to see the sights?�
�I�d like that.�
�Good!� He regarded her intently. �Victoria, are you all right? Did you sleep well?�
�Yes to the first, no to the second.�
He nodded. �Neither did I.�
�You didn�t?� She looked up from fiddling with her spoon.
�No.�
�I�m sorry.�
�I�m not�really. I kept thinking of you. It was rather pleasant.�
�You must think I�m a terrible mother�what I said to Nick last night.�
�Actually, he deserved every word of it. He�s a grown man, after all. But I�ll admit to feeling a little sympathy for him�you know, man to man.�
She laughed then. �It�s not the first time we�ve had words over something, but I�ve never involved anyone else in our disagreements�until now.�
�I was glad to be involved.�
�Were you?�
�I�m very glad to be here with you, and no matter what Nick thinks. . .�
�My honor is safe?�
�Well. . .in a manner of speaking.�
�In a manner of speaking? I�d like to know more about that.�
�And you shall,� he said, rising and going behind her chair to hold it for her. �You shall.�
When the sun began to set, they asked themselves where the hours had gone and agreed that it had been a perfect day in every respect. Lingering over dinner in the hotel dining room, neither was ready for the day to end. At the door of her room, Victoria handed Royce the key but didn�t step inside the open door immediately.
�Victoria. . .�
She looked up at him. �We were interrupted last night.�
�Yes.� He read the unspoken invitation in her eyes. When she turned again and stepped inside, he followed.
�I�m in love with you,� he murmured against her hair. �How can that be in just a few days?�
She savored the scent of soap and cigar smoke and the strong warmth of his arms. �I don�t know.�
�Do you�could you possibly. . .�
She sighed deeply. �I�m in love with you, too.�
He tipped her chin and let his eyes wander intimately over her face. �You are�a miracle.�
�Because you thought you�d never love again?�
He bent to brush her lips gently with his own before leading her to the settee and drawing her down beside him. �There�s so much I need to tell you. You�ve shared yourself with me, but I�ve told you very little in return.�
�What do you want to tell me?�
He sighed and sat back, keeping her hands between his. �I told you that my wife�Catherine�died toward the end of the war. There was more to it than that.� He lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. �You�re nothing like her. She was a woman for another time.�
�And this is now.� Victoria knew that she needed to hear him out, but the words to come filled her with a certain uneasiness.
�I was wounded in sixty-four. Catherine came to Virginia to care for me in the field hospital. If she hadn�t, it�s likely I wouldn�t have survived. Her brothers, who had never approved of our marriage to begin with�she was from a wealthy, socially-elite family�disapproved of her coming, but. . .�
Victoria turned where she could watch his face. �She came anyway�of course. I would have done the same for Tom.�
Royce smiled a little. �Of course. Yes, she came, and when I was well enough to rejoin my unit, I arranged for a classmate from West Point to escort her across the lines.�
�A Union soldier?�
�Yes�we were good friends. He understood why I resigned my commission to fight for the South. He didn�t look at me as a traitor. Anyway, I managed to contact him, and one morning I put Catherine in a wagon and kissed her goodbye. It was the last time I ever saw her.�
He closed his eyes for a long moment. �Months later that I learned she�d been intercepted by a band of deserters. They. . .�
�I understand,� Victoria said quickly. �You needn�t go on.�
�No�I need to tell you this as much as you needed to tell me what you did the other day in the cemetery.�
�All right.�
�They�used her�repeatedly. And, when they were through, they left her naked and bleeding in the road. All her brothers could do was claim her body.� The pain in his eyes pierced Victoria�s heart. �When I found out what had happened, I was wild with grief�and anger, too. I swore I�d find the men who murdered her.�
�Did you?�
�It took me five years. Unfortunately�or maybe fortunately�they were either dead or serving prison terms for other crimes. I couldn�t touch them.� He took a deep breath. �So, I started life again in New Orleans�or, at least, I began to exist on a less vengeful level.�
�I�m so sorry, Royce.�
�I loved her very much, Victoria. She married me in the face of her family�s opposition and followed me wherever I was posted. I told you that I didn�t have any children, and I don�t, but we had one child�a baby daughter�stillborn.�
�Like my two little girls�an unfinished promise.�
�Yes.� He kissed her hands again. �It was restlessness�loneliness that drew me out of New Orleans. When I saw you�when we danced�I knew somehow that I�d come two thousand miles just for that.�
�I believe you did.�
�Do you?�
�Yes.�
�Your family. . .�
�I�ll always love them, Royce, but I�ve fulfilled my responsibilities as their mother.�
�You�re very sure?�
�Very sure.�
�Then�will you marry me, Victoria?�
�I�ll marry you, Royce.�
******************
Later, when he�d gone, Victoria wandered restlessly into the bedroom and back again. It had taken Tom Barkley six months to propose marriage�it had taken Royce Wardell a week. She remembered Tom�s words now.
I�m gonna head outta here, Vic. Got my stake. Ya might as well come along.
Are you asking me to marry you, Tom?
Reckon that�s what I�m doing.
Do you love me?
Sure, Vic. Thought ya knew that.
You�ve never said so.
Thought ya knew.
And then she thought of Royce�s words tonight. He�d told her that he was in love with her�called her a miracle�asked her, without hesitation, to marry him. He�d touched her hair, caressed her face, looked at her as if he were seeing inside her very soul. She thought that perhaps, in the space of only a few days, he knew her better than Tom Barkley had known her in thirty years.
Finally she changed into her nightdress and lay down, clasping the pillow to her breast, thinking that never had the bed seemed so empty�and never had she felt so alone.
***********
They lingered in San Francisco for two more days before boarding the train�together�for Stockton. �I�ll ride home with Jarrod,� she told Royce. �You�ll come out tomorrow, won�t you?�
�Nothing could keep me away.�
�Good. Now walk me to Jarrod�s office. That will give people something to talk about�seeing us come from the depot together!�
�And you don�t mind?�
�Not in the least!�
Victoria, her hand tucked through Royce�s arm, was smugly aware of the stares and murmurs that followed them to Jarrod�s office. �Welcome home, lovely lady,� Jarrod said, embracing her. He extended his hand. �Mr. Wardell.�
�Mr. Barkley.�
Victoria rolled her eyes but refrained from commenting on their stiffly proper behavior.
�Did you buy out the shops, Mother?�
�Almost but not quite.�
�She showed admirable restraint,� Royce said.
Victoria sat down. �You might offer us a glass of sherry.�
�Of course,� Jarrod said quickly. �Please sit down, Mr. Wardell.� He filled three glasses and handed them around. �To a successful journey,� he said lightly, startling as he saw the color deepen in his mother�s cheeks.
Royce noticed, too. �It was quite nice,� he said inanely. �Quite nice.�
Jarrod�s eyebrows went up. �Well,� he said, �I�m sure we�ll hear all about it at dinner tonight.�
�What makes you think so?� Victoria asked rather sharply.
�I�I just assumed.�
�Don�t.�
Jarrod hid his amusement. �I beg your pardon, Mother.�
Royce drained his glass and rose quickly. �I�d better telegraph Rand Vandemeer the results of my business trip.�
Victoria looked up at him. �And you�ll be out tomorrow?�
�Yes, of course. Mid-morning, I think.�
�I�ll expect you then.�
Jarrod didn�t miss the hesitation between them and thought about stepping into the outer office on the pretense of speaking with his secretary. But before he could put his thoughts into action, Royce went to the door. �Tomorrow then, Victoria.�
She nodded. �I�ll be waiting.�
Jarrod took the place on the settee that Royce had vacated. �So you enjoyed yourself.�
�Very much.�
�I�m glad.�
�Is Nick?�
�You know Nick.�
�Quite well, I�m afraid.�
Jarrod began to put papers into his briefcase. �Well, I�m going to get you home now, Mother. I know a certain young lady who�s been totally lost in romantic dreams�and you need to either disposses her of them�or confirm them.�
Victoria lifted her chin. �Don�t even ask what I�m going to do.�
************
Audra sat with her mother while she unpacked. �So tell me everything, Mother! Did he take you for romantic candlelight dinners, and did you go for long walks holding hands?�
Victoria had to work hard at not laughing. �Yes to both, darling.�
�Oh, Mother! What else?�
�What else? Isn�t that enough? Shouldn�t that be enough?�
Audra flushed. �Well, of course, but. . .�
�I had a wonderful time, and I brought you this.� Victoria handed her daughter a small box.
Audra drew out a small gold Chinese character on a delicate chain.
�Mother, it�s lovely!�
�It means woman,� Victoria said. �It occurred to me that you crossed the threshold from girlhood to womanhood, Audra darling�when you understood and supported me in this venture.�
Audra threw her arms around her mother�s neck. �Thank you, Mother! That means so much to me!�
�Your understanding means a great deal to me, too, Audra.�
Did you know Nick came to San Francisco?�
�We�that is, Heath and Jarrod said that�s probably where he�d gone.�
�I see. Is he home yet?�
�He came home yesterday, and he�s been a bear ever since.�
�He�s lucky that he�s alive to be a bear!�
Audra giggled. �Is Mr. Wardell coming tomorrow?�
�Yes.�
�What are you going to do? I mean, he�s seen the ranch.�
�Not all of it. I thought we�d visit the winery, and you wanted him to see the orphanage. Just don�t hint, even subtly, for a donation.�
�And he�ll have dinner with us again tomorrow night?�
�I expect he will.�
�I�m glad, Mother. I like him very much, and you�you�re glowing.�
�Am I?�
Audra embraced her mother. �You�re beautiful�and I love you very much!�
********
Nick was conspicuously absent from dinner. Heath, upon being questioned, allowed as how he hadn�t seen Nick since noon. �He�uh�he said he might spend the night in the line shack by Houghten�s.�
�He knew I was coming home.� It wasn�t a question.
�Uh�yeah�I reckon.�
Victoria put her lips together in the tight line that signaled her displeasure.
�Now, Mother, Nick just needs some time to cool off. You did ignore his feelings the other night.� Jarrod picked up the carving knife as Silas set the roast in front of him.
�Is that what he said?�
�Well. . .�
�She didn�t ignore them!� Audra�s eyes flashed. �She told him exactly what she thought of them!�
�Come to think of it, he hasn�t had much to say to you either,� Heath observed.
�I don�t care! He was rude to Mother!�
Victoria waved her hand dismissively. �I don�t want to spoil dinner with a discussion of Nick�s behavior. Unless he plans to take up permanent residence in the line shack, he�ll have to come home sometime, and I�ll deal with him then.�
Heath took a plate from Jarrod and passed it to Victoria. �So�you have a good time in San Francisco, Mother?�
�Yes, I did. And by the way, Jarrod, I arranged to have a box shipped from Lin Ho�s. It will be delivered to your office.�
�Of course, you did. Do you ever go to San Francisco without buying out his shop?�
�Quite often.�
Jarrod looked knowingly at Heath. �So, may we expect the pleasure of Mr. Wardell�s company at dinner tomorrow night?
�You may.�
�I assume his intentions are honorable.�
Victoria met his amused glance with cool aloofness. �Never assume anything, Jarrod. You learned that as a first-year law student.�
***********
Royce lifted Victoria down from her horse and pulled her close. �I had a wire from Rand Vandemere, my young associate. I have to leave for New Orleans tomorrow.�
Tears sprang to her eyes. �Oh, Royce!�
�I�m sorry�I wanted to stay longer. But maybe it�s for the best. Maybe you need time to think.�
�There�s nothing to think about.� She caressed his face gently. �I love you.�
�It�s so hard to imagine.�
�That I love you?�
�Yes�I never thought I�d fall in love again.�
�Nor did I, but I have. We have.�
�Yes.� He sought her lips hungrily.
She set out their lunch on the blanket he spread in a grove of trees. �I suppose second marriages are always haunted by ghosts to some extent. That�s not always a bad thing.�
�In what way?�
�Oh, I suppose we have a chance to do better�to not make the same mistakes�to concentrate more on the marriage as opposed to the things that got in the way before.�
�Empire-building. Career.�
She nodded and handed him a heaped-up plate. �I told Silas that you liked his fried chicken.�
�At this rate, I shall develop wings and a beak!�
�And then I may change my mind�you�re much more handsome without either!�
They laughed companionably.
After Victoria had packed the remains of their lunch in the saddlebags that Royce brought her, she lay back on the blanket and looked up at him. �I�m not ready to go back�are you?�
He turned away slightly. �Perhaps we should.�
�Why?�
�You�re tempting me.�
�I hope so.� She held out her hand. �We�re adults, Royce.�
He knelt beside her and traced the outline of her jaw, letting his fingers move on to her throat. �You�re very beautiful.�
�Thank you.�
�Did you�enjoy the physical side of marriage?�
�Very much.�
�So did I.�
He leaned down and brushed her lips. �I want you to know that there�s never been anyone�since Catherine.�
�I felt there hadn�t been.�
�You won�t wait too long to join me in New Orleans?�
�I�ll go with you tomorrow.�
�Your family would have something to say about that.�
She sighed. �Yes, I suppose they would.�
�Especially Nick.�
She sighed. �Especially Nick.�
He stretched out beside her and tensed as she turned toward him, draping one slender arm across his broad, warm chest.
�You�re not a replacement for Catherine. I love you.�
�I know that.�
�And I want you.�
�I know that, too.�
�But giving in to my desire would make it doubly hard to leave tomorrow.�
�I�ll come to you soon.�
He raised her face to his. �Yes, soon,� he murmured.
Nick was waiting when they rode into the yard. He acknowledged his mother with a curt nod, again ignoring Royce. Victoria sighed. �He means well.�
�Of course, he does,� Royce murmured quickly. �You�re his mother. I might have felt the same way about mine.�
�I doubt it.�
Royce chuckled. �Well, I�m leaving tomorrow. After you tell him, he�ll have time to absorb things.�
�I hope so.�
Nick ate dinner in silence, but the others redoubled their efforts to make Royce Wardell feel welcome.
�You didn�t come to the orphanage, Mother,� Audra teased.
�I�m sorry, Audra. The day rather got ahead of us.�
Audra dimpled. �Oh, I�m sure it did!� She threw Royce a smile across the table, and he returned it gratefully.
After dinner, Jarrod suggested that the men retire to the library for cigars and brandy. �I got work to do,� Nick snarled, throwing his napkin in his plate before he rose noisily and stalked out.
In the library, Jarrod poured the brandy, while Heath passed the cigars. Royce drew a card from his inside pocket. �Mr. Barkley�Jarrod�I infer that you�re the legal head of the Barkley family now.�
�I�m my father�s executor.�
Royce held out the card. �This is the name of my banker in New Orleans, and there are several business and personal references also. I�m a stranger to you after all.�
�My mother is a shrewd judge of character, but I appreciate the offer.� Jarrod pocketed the card.
�I won�t be in the least offended if you contact the people I�ve listed. In fact, I�d feel better if you did.�
�All right.�
Heath leaned back and crossed his legs, savoring the brandy. �Jarrod�s right. Mother just sorta knows about folks. She knew about me.� He lifted one eyebrow and waited.
�She shared that with me,� Royce said carefully.
Heath seemed relieved. �Yeah, well, I never make a secret of it. The whole town knows anyway.�
�Perhaps the whole town thinks they know,� Royce suggested. �I would expect that the real story is shared only by your family.�
�Exactly,� Jarrod said. �I won�t say it didn�t take awhile for all of us�Heath especially�but we got through it together.�
�That�s what families do,� Royce said. �The brandy is superb, Jarrod.�
�Think what my big brother�s tryin� to say is that we�ll get through this together, too�even Nick,� Heath drawled.
Royce nodded. �Thank you for that assurance, Heath. I appreciate it.�
***************
The family tactfully gave their mother and her guest some time alone before he left. Audra even closed the library doors and sat on the stairs to make sure that Nick didn�t take it into his head to interrupt. Heath patted her shoulder. �Think he�s gonna sweep Mother off her feet, Sis?�
Audra struggled with sudden tears. �I�I hope so, Heath! I really do!�
�Well, we�ll miss her.�
�I know�but it�s her turn. It really is.�
***************
Ciego brought the hired horse around. �You leave soon, Senor Royce?�
�Tomorrow morning�early.�
Ciego shook his head. �Senora Barkley�she miss you.�
�I hope so, Ciego.� Royce reached for Victoria�s hand. �I hope she misses me a great deal.�
They walked hand in hand as far as the gate. �I wish you�d let me come into town to see you off,� Victoria said softly.
�If you did, I might not be able to go.� He took her in his arms. She was trembling. �Victoria, it�s only for a little while, my darling.�
�It will be the longest separation I�ve ever endured.�
�But it will be the last. We have the rest of our lives, my love.�
�You�ll wire me when you arrive?�
�Immediately.�
�It will take me a few weeks to organize things here.�
�I think what I suggested�that you leave your finances in such a way that I will never have access to them�is the wisest course of action.�
�I still think that makes it seem as though I don�t trust you.�
�Not at all, Victoria. But it will reassure your family that I�m not after any part of the Barkley holdings. . .�
�Except me, of course.�
He laughed. �Except for their crown jewel! That�s enough!�
�I do want my own income, however.�
�I understand. You can set up an account while you�re in New Orleans.�
�Royce�you understand that once I come, I�m there to stay.�
�It�s what I want, but I�d understand if. . .�
�No. When I come to you, it�s an irrevocable commitment. When I come back here to visit, it will be when you can accompany me.�
He folded her in his arms and laid his face against her hair. �I love you more than life.�
From the trees, where he�d taken refuge when he saw them walking from the house, Nick could see�but now hear�their parting endearments. Anger boiled up in him�what did his mother see in the man? He�d come in here from nowhere�a nobody�and she�d risked the Barkley name to follow him to San Francisco like a�like a�well, it was going to end! The whole thing was going to end now if he had anything to do with it. And he did�oh, he did!
Royce glanced back only once at the small figure standing in the road, her hand lifted in farewell. Her loneliness smote him�because it was his own.
Part VI
As Royce rode away from the ranch, he became aware that he was being followed, but he didn�t turn around. It had to be Nick�there was going to be the inevitable confrontation, and Royce didn�t relish it.
�Wardell!�
Royce reined in his horse and sat waiting. �Nick,� he said evenly as the rider approached.
�I wanta talk to you!�
�All right.�
�What d�ya think you�re doin�?�
�I�m going back to my hotel to pack, Nick. I�m needed in New Orleans.�
�You know what I mean! What d�ya think you�re doin� with my mother?�
�I believe the accepted term is that I�m courting her.�
�Courting her or the Barkley money?�
�I won�t even reply to that, Nick.�
�Well, I�m tellin� ya�go back to New Orleans and leave her alone! You�re not gonna get your hands on her or the money! I�ll make sure of it!�
�I�m sure you don�t mean that as a threat,� Royce said, refusing to let Nick rile him. He was, after all, a young man protective of his mother, and that was admirable.
�You can take it anyway you wanta take it!� Nick growled. �But I�m tellin� ya�clear outta Stockton�and stay out! The Barkleys built this valley, and they�re keepin� it!�
�Of course.�
�And my mother�s stayin� right here where she belongs!�
Royce had no reply to that, but his stomach knotted. Could Nick convince his mother to stay in the Valley?
�I�ve got to be getting on to town, Nick,� Royce said after a moment. �Good night.�
As the older man rode away, Nick pushed back his hat and scratched his head. He�d have liked nothing more than a good brawl�but the man wasn�t buying. Well, maybe he realized he would be fighting a losing battle�like he did when he joined the Confederate Army. What a stupid thing to do!
When he could no longer see Royce Wardell in the gathering dusk, he turned Coco toward and ranch and considered that it was good riddance.
**********
Royce left a note for Victoria to be delivered to Jarrod�s office after he left Stockton, but he didn�t mention the exchange with Nick.
You have time to consider what is between us, Victoria, and though I want with all my heart for you to join me in New Orleans, I want your total happiness more. You must be very sure of your decision�and because I love you, I�ll accept that decision without question.
***********
Victoria waited a week before telling her children�one by one�that she had accepted Royce Wardell�s proposal of marriage. All of them had expressed their love and good wishes. All but Nick. He had barely spoken to her�or to anyone else�since the incident in San Francisco. Jarrod counseled patience, but she was running out.
After receiving her letter, Gene came home for the weekend and took it upon himself to bring her trunks down from the attic. She might have expected him�her baby�to be hesitant, even slightly jealous�but he wasn�t. �It�s time for you to think of yourself, Mother,� he told her. �I haven�t met Mr. Wardell, but if you love him, he�s got to be a good person.�
She spent a great deal of time with Jarrod, arranging her financial affairs as Royce had suggested. Jarrod drew up a new will for her, dividing the Barkley assets between all of them�including Heath this time. �It speaks well for Mr. Wardell that he�s more comfortable with things arranged this way,� Jarrod told her.
�I told him that I wanted my own income.�
�I understand. I�ll have the bank draw up a letter of credit for you to take to New Orleans.�
�After five years, I�m accustomed to doing what I want to do. Royce understands that.�
Jarrod smiled affectionately. �I�m sure he does.�
�Audra and Gene are still young. They still need me in one way, but. . .�
�We all need you, Mother, but we�re the ones pushing you out of the nest�so to speak.�
�Except Nick.�
�You can�t let him influence you.�
�He�s my son.�
�That�s right�he�s your son. He�s not Father.�
�Is that who he�s trying to be?�
�Father wanted things his own way.�
She sighed. �He had them his own way, too. For thirty years.�
�I know.�
�I loved him, Jarrod, but I�m not the same person anymore. I�ve been alone for almost five years. In some ways, I�ve been. . .� She stopped abruptly.
�You�ve been alone all your life,� he finished softly.
She caught her breath. �You knew?�
�Let�s say that I figured it out�after awhile.�
�I don�t want any of you to feel that way. I want Nick. . .�
�Mother, Nick is his own problem. You can�t make things different for him.�
She nodded. �I know that, Jarrod, but mothers want to try to make things different�even if they know they can�t.�
************
She spent a great deal of time with Audra as they packed her trunks and discussed larger items to be freighted at a later time. Heath ran her errands willingly. She didn�t ask what he heard in town�and he didn�t tell her.
Each night she sat at the small white secretary and wrote a few lines to Royce, sharing her day. It seemed to bring him closer. She�d never known she would miss him so much, so when she could finally tell him that the date had been set for her to leave Stockton, she almost felt some of the aching loneliness leave her.
My dearest Royce,
In one week I leave Stockton for New Orleans. My trunks are packed, and other items are tagged for shipment later when I see your house and know what we might want. Your description of your �bachelor�s hole� sounds rather bleak. I shall enjoy making it comfortable for you.
Jarrod has taken care of all of my business here. Since he agreed with your suggestions, I suppose I have to agree with them, too. Because the ranch is my children�s legacy from their father, I understand the necessity of protecting it�although not from you.
All of my children have been wonderful. All of them except Nick, of course. I would be dishonest if I said that I wasn�t hurt by his attitude. Jarrod seems to think that Nick feels he must stand in his father�s boots and maintain the status quo of the family. He�s wrong if he thinks our marriage will change things as far as our being a family. I have seen Audra step into womanhood almost overnight as she�s shared all this with me. Gene offered to escort me to New Orleans since it is such a long trip, but he doesn�t need to miss so much school, so I thanked him sincerely and declined.
Heath, as you know, keeps his own counsel, but I think he is protecting me from the gossip that must be swirling through Stockton. I�ve made no announcement. Once we are married, Audra will see to placing a discreet notice in the newspaper.
Now that all the packing is done and the business details arranged, I have more time for reflection�more time to miss you so terribly. I long to be in your arms again�this time, forever.
With all my love,
Victoria
Silas, with Audra�s help, prepared a special dinner for the last night. When Nick didn�t appear in the parlor for sherry before they ate, Victoria went to look for him and found her second son sulking in the library. �Please join us, Nick,� she said with no hint of pleading in her voice.
�I�m not hungry.�
�Nick, I know you feel. . .�
He jumped up from the chair. �You don�t know how I feel!�
�Then I�m willing to listen while you explain.�
�I don�t have to explain anything!�
�Well, then. . .� She turned and started to leave.
�I�ll stop this idiocy! See if I don�t!�
She spun around. �Nicholas! What have you done?�
He poured himself a whiskey, sloshing the liquid over the edge of the glass.
�What I had to do�and if you leave�if you go to him�you�ll both regret it!�
Before she realized what she was doing, she�d deliver a stinging slap to his face and run weeping from the room.
Part VII
�You made her cry!� Audra raged at her brother. �She hasn�t cried since Father died!�
�I said what I had to say,� Nick said angrily.
�She�s going anyway, no matter what you say! We all like Mr. Wardell, and so would you if you�d get to know him! All of us want Mother to be happy�everybody but you! You�re the one tearing this family apart, Nick!�
He pushed past her and stomped up the stairs.
*********
Victoria made herself go down to dinner with a smile. Whatever Nick had done, she wouldn�t ruin this evening for the rest of them. Later, after everyone had retired, she found Jarrod sitting before the fire. �Thank you,� she said simply.
�For what?�
�For allowing me my life.�
�Mother, it�s your life, and you�re a wise�and lovely�lady.�
�I love him.�
�I know you do.�
�And I love my children.�
�That goes without saying.�
�But I�� Her voice broke.
�Mother, don�t,� he said, rising to take her comfortingly in his arms. �I rode into town earlier and sent a wire to Royce. I told him that the Barkley family was sending him our most precious possession�and that we knew he would treasure her.�
�Oh, Jarrod!� Her tears flowed for the second time that evening, but this time they weren�t in anger.
**************
The train was late, and Royce was pacing the platform in the rain when it finally pulled in. He had Victoria in his arms before she stepped from the car. �I don�t think I�ll ever let you go again,� he murmured, but aware of the crowded station, he refrained from kissing her until they were in the cab.
�I may have to go away periodically if this is the kind of welcome I receive,� she teased him.
�Just try.� He kissed her again.
She signed the register at the hotel and told the desk clerk to expect her trunks later. With Royce holding her arm tightly, she followed the bellman up the stairs to her rooms.
�Is it all right?� he asked anxiously after the man had left with a generous tip.
�Of course, it is. I don�t plan to occupy these rooms long, however.�
�Oh?�
�That is why I came, isn�t it?� She put her hands on the front of his coat.
�I hope so.�
�I know so.�
They shared several more kisses, each one more urgent than the one before. Finally he released her. �I�m going to leave you to rest awhile. But I�ll come back and take you to dinner.�
�Couldn�t we order something here? There�s so much to talk about, and it�s difficult in a public place.�
�I�m acquainted with the owner of a small caf� which I frequent. I�m sure he�d prepare something for delivery.�
She grasped his lapels. �That sounds lovely.�
�You�re making it very hard for me to leave.�
�I�m trying to.�
�You need to rest.�
She sighed. �Does it show?�
�It was a long trip, wasn�t it?� He caressed her face.
�Worth every mile.�
�Then rest�and we�ll have this evening.�
She let him go reluctantly, then set about unpacking her single valise. Finally she immersed her weary body in a tub of warm water scented with the bath salts that Audra had given her, and closed her eyes.
**********
It was still raining, but Royce moved the table close to the glass balcony doors so that she could look out on the busy street. �I have a balcony off my bedroom,� he said. �In the evenings I like to sit and smoke and watch the people.�
�Do people ever go home?�
�Now and then. I suppose the nightlife in Stockton is similar�you just never see it.�
She leaned closer to the glass panes. �It�s interesting, isn�t it?�
�And noisy sometimes. You may prefer living out of the city.�
�But you said that your house is convenient to your work.�
�It is. I�ll take you to see it tomorrow. And my good friends Peter and Anjanette Vandemere would like for us to have dinner with them tomorrow. They�re anxious to meet you.�
�I�ll look forward to it.�
�Anjanette has been wanting to redecorate my house for ages. She has a list of shops for you to visit.�
�Is it so bad?� She smiled at him across the table.
�Actually, I�m not there that much. It suits me all right, but it�s not really a home.�
�Then I�ll make it a home for you, Royce.�
He reached for her hand. �I know you will.�
*************
In his room in the hotel down the street, Nick Barkley paced the floor, pounding his fist into his palm. She had done it�come to New Orleans in spite of his opposition. What did she see in the man�a stranger, an ex-Confederate, a man who by his own admission had been born in the humblest of circumstances, a man with an unknown past?
Oh, Jarrod had said he�d had him investigated. He said that the man had even given him references and asked him to check them. And Jarrod had been taken in, too, saying there was nothing questionable to be found. But there had to be something�and he, Nick, would find it before it was too late.
**************
Saying that he wanted Victoria to sleep late and have some time to relax further, Royce didn�t appear at the hotel until noon the next day, but he had flowers delivered with a note:
You have been in my heart�and now you are here�and soon you will be in my arms forever.
Victoria buried her face in the fragrant bouquet and shed a few tears of happiness. Later, a telegram from Stockton was delivered.
Relieved to hear of your safe arrival. All our love and best wishes to you, Mother.
She arranged the flowers in a vase provided by the hotel and laid the telegram near them. Despite her disappointment and hurt over Nick�s attitude, she was happy.
The sun was out when Royce came to take her to lunch. Afterwards, he took her, at her request, to the bank to open an account. He insisted that she conduct her business alone. While he waited, he caught sight of Nick lurking across the street.
Anger flared in him momentarily, but with practice born of years and experience, he willed it away. Victoria was so happy�and he intended that she would remain so. It would be easier to pretend that he hadn�t noticed Nick and hope that he would satisfy himself�or at least, give up and go home.
He made sure they walked in the opposite direction from where he�d seen Nick, but he didn�t miss the fact that Victoria�s son crossed the street and went inside the bank.
***********
Nick strode purposefully into the bank only to be stopped by a uniformed officer. �Sir, no sidearms are allowed inside the bank.�
�What?�
The officer gestured politely at the gun on Nick�s hip. �Sidearms, sir. We don�t allow them. I�ll be glad to hold this for you while you conduct your business.�
Nick�s mouth twisted in disgust, but he handed over his gun before he approached the man standing outside an office labeled President. �That woman who came in just now. . .�
The man, who was taller than Nick, hesitated. �You mean Mrs. Barkley?�
�Yeah.�
�What about her?�
�What�d she do? Make a deposit in that man�s account?�
�That man�oh, Mr. Wardell. Well, sir, I�m afraid I can�t discuss her business with you.�
�You know Wardell?� Nick growled.
�He�s one of the most respected businessmen in New Orleans.�
�Yeah?�
The other man peered at Nick curiously and considered his reply. �Yes. Personally, I�d trust him with my last dollar.�
Nick frowned. �What�s that mean?�
�It means that I�ve said all I�m going to say unless you. . .�
Nick whirled around and walked off.
************
Royce hailed a cab for the drive to his home in the French Quarter. Victoria noticed the neglected garden immediately, but it was the bleakness of the interior that hurt her. Though the leather settee and deep chairs were obviously expensive, and the faded Persian carpet beneath them appeared to be genuine to her discerning eye, the room was drab and unwelcoming.
�The dining room is beyond this. It�s unfurnished�I don�t entertain, you see. Isabel comes in daily to cook and clean.�
Victoria had already caught the scent of soap and wood polish as he urged her toward the stairs. �There are three bedrooms and the�ah�the WC on the second floor.�
The stair railing gleamed, but the stair runner, like the parlor carpet, was faded. �Only one bedroom is furnished,� Royce said as they reached the landing. He opened the first door and let her go ahead of him.
She took in the four-poster bed, bureau, wardrobe, and decidedly-masculine dresser. �This is the balcony I spoke of,� he said, going to the French doors. �It�s pleasant out here in good weather.�
She glanced at the white wrought-iron table and chairs. �I�m sure,� she murmured. Her eyes drifted back to the empty fireplace and the unevenly-faded maroon drapes that seemed to blend with the mahogany furniture, giving the room a jumbled appearance.
�As I said, it was only a place to sleep, and it suited me well enough.�
She went to him then, laying her head against his vest. �If it suits you, Royce. . .�
�Seeing it now through your eyes, I�m afraid it doesn�t suit me at all.�
She smiled into the vest. �It has possibilities.�
�Anjanette will take you around to the shops.�
�Tomorrow,� Victoria said firmly. �I should like to be moved in here by this time next week.�
He held her at arms length. �Is that rushing things a bit?�
She moved closer to him, folding her arms around his neck. �Not at all.�
***********
Dinner with the Vandemeer�s was a complete success. Royce was gratified that Victoria and Anjanette were, by the time the soup course was over, chatting like friends of years� standing. Over dessert and coffee, they were making plans for a shopping trip the next morning.
�I believe you are excluded, Royce,� Peter said jovially.
Anjanette looked at her husband saucily. �Of course, he is! I can already tell that Victoria and I have similar tastes.� She glanced at Royce. �I can hardly believe I�m finally getting my hands on that�that dreadful d�cor!�
�Gently, Anjanette, gently,� Royce returned good-naturedly. �If I don�t like what you ladies choose, I shall remove it and return everything to the way it is now.�
�You�ll like it,� Victoria murmured, slipping her hand into his. �I guarantee that.�
*************
Of necessity, Royce checked into the hotel while Victoria and Anjanette refurbished the house. He didn�t mind the proximity to Victoria. In the evenings they shared intimate dinners and long talks about the future. He hoped that Nick had departed, but on the third day, he literally ran into him on the street.
�Nick.�
�Wardell.�
�Shall we go somewhere and talk?�
�I can say what I�ve got to say right here,� Nick growled.
�Well, I can�t, so if you�ll indulge me, there�s a little place just up the street where we can get coffee and speak privately.�
Nick refused coffee, but Royce chose to order anyway. �I�m listening,� he said evenly.
�You�re tearing my family apart!�
Royce was tempted to say that Nick was doing that on his own, but he didn�t.
�You could send her home if you wanted to!�
�I love her, Nick.�
Nick scowled. �Send her home where she belongs!�
Royce stirred his coffee, contemplating his reply. He didn�t want to antagonize Nick further, and it seemed useless to try to make him understand his mother�s new happiness. How could he tell Nick that, for the first time, his mother was making a home the way she wanted to? Did Nick know that Tom Barkley had ordered the furnishings for the ranch home on his own without consulting Victoria? That he�d made all the decisions, including style and color, right down to where each piece of furniture would be placed?
Could Nick grasp the almost childlike joy that his mother was finding in choosing the smallest item to make her new home a reflection of her newly-discovered self? Royce had watched her bloom almost overnight, and he felt fiercely protective of that flowering. He took a deep breath.
�Nick, don�t begrudge your mother her happiness. I know you love her, but you�ve hurt her. She needs your understanding and support.�
�She was happy before you showed up!�
�You�re quite sure about that?�
�Damn sure!�
�Then there�s nothing more to talk about, is there?�
�I want your word that you�ll stop this nonsense and send her home!�
�I can�t do that, Nick.�
�Then I will!�
Royce struggled with his rising anger, but a lifetime of experience stood him in good stead. �Nick, go back to the ranch and think things through. You�re a good man�you�ll understand if you really want to.�
But Nick was already striding away from the table.
Part VIII
Victoria gathered her last things from the dressing table and put them in the waiting bag. Methodically she checked the drawers and the wardrobe. Both were empty. Earlier today, Anjanette Vandemeer had taken everything to the house that Victoria would share with Royce after their marriage scheduled to take place just an hour from now.
She paused in front of the mirror to admire the shimmering silvery-gray silk dress, unadorned except for delicate cream-colored lace encircling the high neck and long, tapering sleeves. Royce�s pleasure in helping her select the dress the day before had been touching. Her only jewelry was a heart-shaped sapphire pendant on a silver chain that lay just at the base of her throat. Royce had chosen it for her wedding gift when they purchased her ring.
Victoria snapped the small case closed and carried it into the sitting room, placing it beside the door. Glancing at the clock on the mantle, she clasped her hands tightly and walked to the window overlooking the busy street. In a few minutes she would walk out of this room with Rand Vandemeer who would take her to the small waterfront chapel that Royce had chosen for the ceremony.
For thirty-six years, since she was just seventeen, she had been Victoria Barkley. The name had become her identity. She had been Tom Barkley�s wife, the mother of his children, and his widow. She barely remembered her life before Tom Barkley�s large, powerful shadow fell across it. Could a short ceremony and a new name dispel that shadow? She wasn�t sure.
She was very sure, however, that she loved Royce Wardell. She didn�t love him like she had loved Tom Barkley�impulsively, blindly, passionately�loved him in spite of his demands, his emotional neglect, his infidelity�loved him because it was her nature, because whatever she did, she did completely. No, she loved Royce Wardell in a way she�d never realized that she could love.
She had known Tom Barkley for what he was�and hoped that someday he would be something more. Royce was a man such as she�d never known, though his gentle nature reminded her a little of her father. Victoria sighed and let the curtain drop back into place.
Though she was expecting the knock on the door, it startled her. Gathering her wandering thoughts, she opened it and met Rand�s smile with her own. �You look lovely, Victoria,� he said.
Victoria inclined her head modestly. �Thank you. This dress was Royce�s favorite of those we looked at.�
�An excellent choice! Are you ready? I�m a little early.�
�I�ve already checked out and paid my bill.� She indicated the traveling case. �This is all I have.�
�Shall we go then? My parents are meeting us at the church. And I expect Royce is already there.�
Victoria felt her face grow warm. �How�how is he?� she asked and immediately wondered why.
Rand stared at her, then understood. �Oh, about the same as you are, I expect,� he drawled.
�The same. . .�
�The nervous groom and the blushing bride.�
Victoria turned away to compose herself. �I�m hardly a bride.�
�Certainly, you are! And a most beautiful one, I might add.�
�Only your southern charm saves you from being an impertinent young man,� Victoria murmured.
Rand set down the case and took her arm. �Come and sit down for a moment, Victoria. There�s time.�
She let him guide her to the settee where, drained suddenly of all strength, she sank down gratefully.
�This is right, Victoria,� Rand said softly. �Altogether right. Next to my father, Royce Wardell is the finest man I�ve ever known.�
Victoria nodded. �He�s the finest man I�ve ever known, too.�
Rand waited in silence.
�I know that sounds�odd.�
�Not necessarily.�
�I loved my husband.�
�Of course.�
�We had a good life.�
�And five fine children, according to Royce.�
�He didn�t tell you about Heath then.�
�I�m not sure I understand.�
�He was the product of my husband�s affair with a young woman in a mining camp.� She glanced up to study Rand�s reaction. �Not that I love him any less, you understand,� she added hurriedly. �You�re just about Heath�s age.�
�He�s a fortunate man then�to have you love him, I mean.�
�A family is built on love.�
�Royce loves you very much.�
Victoria�s hand flew to her face as she felt the warmth rise again. �I�I know. Sometimes it�s hard to imagine that after all these years. . .�
�Perhaps that�s what makes this so special. I saw the difference in him as soon as he returned from California.�
�It was very hard to let him go, but I had business to take care of, and I wanted him to have some time to�well, to think. All of this happened very suddenly.�
�Yes, well, he did nothing else but think of you. Since you�ve been here, I�ve had his attention to the business again!�
Victoria laughed. �I�ll try to see that you keep it!�
�And I�ll thank you for it!� He stood up and held out his hand.
****************
Royce was waiting at the curb. Victoria thought that he had never looked so handsome. But more than that, he had never seemed such a solid refuge from a lifetime of care and responsibility. He smiled as he offered his hand to assist her from the carriage. Then, touching her icy fingers, he said, �Give us a moment, if you please, Rand.�
In the small anteroom after the younger man had disappeared inside the chapel, Royce led Victoria to a wooden bench against the wall and sat holding her hands between his. �Victoria, are you sure?�
�That I love you�want to marry you? I�ve never been more certain of anything in my life.�
Relief and satisfaction softened his face. �Starting over is difficult at any time, but at our age. . .�
�I don�t want to be young again,� she murmured. �But I want a lifetime with you.�
�There�s time enough for us to have that.� He kissed her fingers which were warmer now. �I want to tell you. . .� He hesitated.
�Yes?� she asked, leaning forward a little.
�I�ve told you about my father�how he preached Heaven and Hell with perhaps more emphasis on the latter.� He smiled a little ruefully. �I�m sure he was a man of faith also, but it was my mother�s faith�quieter, almost unspoken, that influenced me most. Sometimes, when my father was away, our provisions would run low. My brothers and I did our best, but the crops we brought in were often poor and sparse. Yet, I can�t remember a time when there wasn�t food on the table. What I do remember is seeing my mother sitting beside the fireplace, her Bible in her lap, her head bowed in prayer. And, somehow, there would be a sack of cornmeal, some squirrels, a few rabbits, once even a deer already dressed and left at our door.
�Though I believed only nominally�and ultimately rejected God altogether for a time after the War�when I came to New Orleans I began to realize that I�d lost something�something I never had. Do you understand?�
�Yes, I do.�
He kissed her hands again. �You amaze me.� He took a deep breath and continued his story. �After I left you in California three months ago, I chanced by this little chapel and impulsively came inside�looking for some comfort for my loneliness, perhaps. The minister found me sitting in one of the pews. We introduced ourselves and began to talk.
�I�ve been back here regularly. That�s why I chose this place, unlikely as it is, for our marriage. Reverend Ennis helps men begin again, and, in a way, he helped me begin again, too�with the hope that our lives would become one.
Royce paused again. �As I�ve told you, my mother wasn�t an educated woman. She could read her Bible, and perhaps that was enough. She was fond of repeating the passage that says, All things work together for good. . .but I never really understood it and certainly didn�t accept it until three months ago when I met you.� He drew her head to his shoulder. �For you see, Victoria my darling, you are the good that all the things in all these past years have worked together for. I love you with all my heart.�
They sat holding each other for a long moment�a long moment in which the shadow of her past�and of Tom Barkley�faded forever from Victoria Barkley�s soul. Finally she raised her head and smiled softly. Then, together, they walked into the chapel.
**************
The friends who had come to share the moment with Royce and Victoria agreed later that never had two people spoken their vows with such feeling.
For richer, for poorer. . .in sickness and in health. . .�til death do us part. . .
As the newly-married couple left the chapel, not even Royce saw the figure lurking in the shadows, but the figure saw them. Nick Barkley gasped at the sight of his mother�s face�younger than he ever remembered it and so full of pure, unmitigated joy that for a moment he couldn�t believe it was truly his mother�s face.
He watched Royce hand her carefully into the carriage�watched the way the man�s eyes fell on her as if he, too, was having trouble believing that she was there. Jealousy stirred within him, and Audra�s words rang in his ears. You�re jealous, Nick! We�ve had all her attention for years, but you want to hold onto it forever!
His jaw tightened. Was Audra right? Was in jealousy rather than concern for his mother that had sent him half-way across the country with malice in mind? For a moment he considered making his presence known, but then he withdrew even further into the shadows. The thing was done. There was nothing he could do now. Had he really wanted to? And why? For her�or for himself?
***********
In the night, Victoria woke and savored the warmth of Royce�s body next to hers. Turning slightly so that she could see him in the moonlight that streamed through the balcony door, she smiled at the memory of their recent lovemaking. He had been both a passionate and a tender lover. She put her face against his shoulder and closed her eyes. Tomorrow would be the first day of her new life.
**********
On a train laboring steadily west through the night, Nick Barkley found sleep elusive. He kept seeing his mother�s face�it was the face of a stranger. Audra had said that she was a woman as well as their mother, but he didn�t want to accept that�couldn�t accept that. And yet. . .
Nick stared into the blackness of the passing countryside. He had traveled to New Orleans to bring his mother back, but he was alone. He didn�t want to think of her tonight�sharing Royce Wardell�s bed�but that�s where she was. It was wrong�he knew that, didn�t he?
Pulling a flask from his coat pocket, he took a long drink. His father would have known what to do�but then, if his father hadn�t tried to face down the railroad, none of this would be happening. He, Nick, wasn�t Tom Barkley. Tom Barkley was dead. And Victoria Barkley didn�t exist anymore.
Nick took another drink and leaned his head against the window. It was a long way to Stockton. Royce had told him to go home and think. Maybe by the time he got there, he�d have sorted things out somewhat. There would be Jarrod and Heath and Audra to face�maybe that�s what he should think about for the time being.
He�d wanted to be a man like his father, but being a man was hard. If only he could be a boy again for a little while�a boy sheltered in his mother�s warm, soft arms�she had loved him then. She had loved him well. Nick closed his eyes and thought of how she always told him that things would look brighter in the light of day. He hoped they would. Oh, he did hope they would!
THE END