121002
Boys
Sometimes I wonder why God even created boys...I just don't understand them....If God wasn't a man I would think he should have killed them all by now....honestly...lol...okee so maybe not honestly, but boys are nothing but trouble....and if there is such a thing as the "perfect guy" where the heck is he!? lol I mean sure Brandon Boyd is perfect and Shaun White is perfect....but why do they gotta go and be famous...why can't they be normal boys that go to my school...I think that boys are the devil.....until I find one that thinks I am his angel of course! hehe
Dance
Dance is something that everyone says I am talented at and have a great gift, and that may be so...but geez...I feel like a total clutz at school....there are girls who are incredibly awesome....and I am like flopping around like a chicken w/o a head and they are like perfect butterflies. It makes me sick...lol.....dance isn't just something you come natural to..you have to work everyday for muscles, turn out, strength, and body control...it's not just something you can pick up...you have to condition yourself and good gravey I am trying....but sheeesh I wish I could be the prima ballerina rigth now...all in do time I guess...for recital in Jazz we are doing "LIke I love You." It's so super rad!! I have Ballet uh ohs!
People Who Suck At Communication
I hate change....normality to me is anything including nonchanging situations..I don't survive in any other invironment haha! Sometimes I feel as though I could burst into tears because I miss communication with the person so bad.....lately I have tried not to think about it...but it's hard...I got used to talking...and be totally dumb and obsessive..*juss kidding* and now things have totally changed.....I hate it...I hate that now this noncommunication thing is normal....I wish sometimes I could just close my eyes and everything I imagine in my head would become a reality....but then I wonder if I would be happy with that reality...I think if everything I dreamed in my head were so....my life would be better than Care-A-Lot....but hence it's not......oh wells....I can dream, there it becomes a reality.
Snappy Little Diddies
Right now I am on this like....emo punk....rad music rant...and i love bands like the used hoobastank incubus dashboard juliana boxcar racer chevelle all american rejects...you know all them....okee they are some of the niftiest bands around and then just when you think you have found something semi-standard following...they gotta go and cuss on your FAV. song...yea to you it may not be a huge mother of a deal, but since I am now trying to do better that doesn't help at all....and it only makes it worse...i mean....does saying the f word REALLY make you hard core punk? come on...it bugs the care bears out of me! why!?
030603
Sick Sucks
as of right now i have an ear and sinus infection, and it is incrediby horrid! i have had it for four days and if it isn't gone tomorrow i shall die! but drugs make me feel tons better! my new obsession is tinkerbell....i love return to neverland! it's great...when you can hear it! well..i really have nothing to write....but hopefully tomorrow i will! hint hint- *baseball game* grrrrrrATE! lol get it!?
032303
BlahBoys
blah! boys are complete perverts! i mean...if all boys are like all the boys i do know...then geeez....is there such a thing as love? good lord! i mean...i don't want a perve...but i don't want the guy that is like...i want to win your heart...and like we can't be real we have to watch everything we say...i just want a rad lil punk boy...geez is that sooooooooooo much to ask! i hate love...and i hate being bored...which i am!....we had dance for 4 hours today and it put me in a bad mood....and can i let everyone know i hate stupid ugly acne scar face girls.....lol who go to ychs! laters!
040303
Memories
tonight i looked through all the old cards i had given my grandpa through the years. last month on march 8th i think i lost one of my best friends. my grandpa was an amazing man. his smile and bright blue eyes could brighten anyones darkest of days. he had such a sweet spirit. when ever i would come into his room (he had been bed ridden for 4 years) he would light up and say, "look at that pretty dame, woo wee.....look how pretty you are getting" he always made me feel special. his stories where the greatest. death is such a strange thing. i have never lost anyone so close to me before. this pain is so foreign to me. it is so hard thinking that i will never see his smile again. and sometimes all i can do is cry. but i am thankful for the times i did have with him. for the grandpa he was. and for every time i hear country, eat chinese, watch baseball, or see a horse, i will think of my hero, my grandpa!
041103
TheUsed
oh and how i feel that way. sometimes, i get so sick of being the person who takes everyone everywhere and the person who is the shaperone for the gay lil couple and the third wheel and the only person who doesn't have a "special person" or rather what my friends have...a friend with benefits...I am just there....the odd one of the group. and might i add it sucks and i hate it....it's always been that way....and i think it shall never change. anyways....just for once...i wish that everything that i wanted would come to and yet no the opposite.....anyways.....i am done now...i have nothing left to say.
052503
Feelin' All Alone In This Place
good lord, guess what!? I got my nose pierced! weird....i never would have thought my parents to let me do such a rebel thing lol but mom took me and it was great! i will have had it pierced a month on friday! another month and i can change it! tomorrow is memorial day...me lys and michelle are gunna go to the beach! well lake....w/e you wish to call it...i give up on baseball boys...they are stupid and don't attain any brains at all....and I have concluded I dont like boys who aren't confident and don't take a chance and come talk to me.....and they go through my cousin or something gay like that...if you like me....and want to take me on a date...for the love of God introduce yourself to me first! just random shiznit that is still on my mind!