of a warm Friday morn
the whole gang was gay
but Nick looked forlorn
It was bright in the day
of a warm Friday morn
the whole gang was gay
but Nick looked forlorn
Wassup, you sad clown?
Asked Monica and Kate
Nick replied, with a frown
“I fear Tony may increase the mortality rate.”
He must have hurt his head like I did
Oh Nicholas, you clumsy kid!
Did you smack it on the keyboard?
Did you smack it on the floor?
Did you smack it in the lift shaft?
Please Nick, tell us more?
I did not smack it on the keyboard
I did not smack it on the floor
I did not smack it in the lift shaft
But I smashed it in a door.
Please, I must implore
I wish to discuss it no more!
Why Nick, you're making such a fuss 
What is it that you won't discuss?
Is this worse than it first seemed?
Did this happen while you day dreamed
Of summer shores and booze to drink
What the hell are we to think?
And plenty of women skimpily clad
All dancing in your hot new pad?
Why you girls are such a bore
Discussing things is such a chore
Stupid things like Christian Dior
Or shops, or clothes, or new décor
Or crap shite like price wars
And all I shall respond to this is “cool”
While I smack myself with a carpenter’s tool
Kate and Monica were floored for a response
God Nick, you can be such a ponce
And with that they turned and left
So Nick stood there looking bereft.
Read Nick's Response to Dr Seuss.