Hello, sir. What are you drinking?
A Diet Coke.
Is that because you are being professional before a show?
Er, I just started drinking Diet Coke a long time ago. I've always liked it. And I don't really need to diet.
What is your beverage of choice?
Champagne. But, I can't drink much of it. I never drink. I drink about once a year.
Did you ever drink?
Oh yeah. I started drinking when I was about 15. And until I was 21 I drank alot. I'd go and drink a lot and get in trouble. But now I don't drink that much. I don't do anything, really.
What's the most drunk you ever got?
I don't remember. Anything. I know I'd get into fights while I was out of my mind, because some guy in a bar said something. Any other day I probably would have walked away.
Have you ever suffered from fungal nail infection?
No.
Corns? Athlete's foot?
No, I've got healthy feet. I get a lot of compliments on my feet. Chicks, they like clean feet. I have very clean feet.
How? Manicure or feet lotions?
No. Just whenever I'm in the shower, I wash 'em. I'm blessed with pretty good feet.
Did you suffer any childhood illnesses?
No, I've always been really healthy. We've never cancelled a show.
Not even through your voice?
Well, I don't drink or smoke - that's probably why.
What is your greatest sporting moment?
We were playing in Seattle, and we were playing next to the Sea Hawks Stadium. After the show that night, they opened the stadium up for us and turned on the lights, so we could play football with all our friends. It was cool.
Did you score a touchdown?
Yeah. Of course.
What did you dress up as to your last fancy dress party?
I've never been to one.
Even when you were a kid?
Maybe I dressed up for church.
What, a choirboy outfit?
No, no, in nice church clothes. I'm not into dressing up. You know these restaurants where you have to wear the right kind of clothes? I don't. What you see is what you get.
Have you ever had a premonition?
I always thought our band would get signed. I just kinda knew. It was just, like, the bottom line in my gut. I just knew it was gonna happen.
Is that arrogance or confidence?
It's not arrogance or confidence, cos I didn't think we were great. I just knew we would make it, y'know, if we didn't break up.
Do you believe in destiny?
Definitely, yeah. But I also think people control their own fate. Something could be destined to happen, but if you let it go, or you quit, then it might not.
Would you do a naked centre-spread?
Would I do it? No, not me. I think that stuff's cheesy.
Do you have a price?
Nah. You couldn't pay me. Really, you couldn't. You mean, totally naked? No.
Not even if someone offered you $50 billion?
No way, dude. I don't care that much about money.
If you owned a bar, what would it be like?
It'd have a Morrissey/Smiths kinda theme. It's have a jukebox with them on. And rock 'n' roll pictures up all over the bar. It'd be totally chilled.
So, on the opening night, what would be the first song that you would select on the great jukebox, to get people in the vibe?
The Smiths. 'Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now'.
(Joel was drinking at The Tottenham, Oxford Street, London.)
BOX TALK - Joel Madden's five fave pub jukebox selections:
Morrissey 'Suedehead'
Oasis 'Don't Look Back In Anger'
The Clash 'Rock The Casbah'
Rancid 'Radio'
Green Day 'Welcome To Paradise'