| Griffin's Birth Story part two |
| Wow, did the cx�s get even more painful after that. My cushion was gone. I managed to survive another 45 minutes and my OB checked me again. Still 8 cm. I began to cry and say, �Why is this happening to me? Why isn�t it working?� I was confused and it felt like an eternity that I had been stuck at 8 cm. The past hour or so I had felt �pushy� during my cx peaks, meaning, I began to uncontrollably push a bit during the cx�s. The nurse kept telling me to not push because it might swell my cervix but I couldn�t help it, my body was doing it on its� own. They became concerned because a lot of blood was coming out of me and they thought capillaries in my cervix were being broken from the baby�s head pushing on the cervix. My OB told me my uterus was probably tired for being in labor so long (technically over 24 hours at this point) and suggested I get an epidural, get pitocin, and rest so that I didn�t do any further damage from premature pushing that might require a c-section. WHAT? My head was spinning with that suggestion. How could my body be failing me? The pain was unbearable and I made a conscious decision to get the epidural. I shouted to Chris, �Get the epidural man in here NOW, I can�t do this anymore�. The nurse arrived a couple minutes later and said, �Which arm do you want to start the IV in?� |
| I had a moment of clarity and because I had completely trusted my body up to this point I was convinced that it wouldn�t be failing me now. I held up my hand and said, �NO. WAIT.� Immediately the nurse told me to get onto the bed and lie on my side in the hopes that that would prevent my body from pushing. I did so, had one cx and felt the baby's head suddenly become much lower. The nurse took a quick look and said, �Get the Dr., we�re going to have a baby in a few minutes�. I was complete, the head had come down and the baby was crowning. Chaos ensued as the bed was broken down, people rushed in and I assumed the pushing position. My Dr. began massaging my perineum with mineral oil as I had instructed (ouch, that stung!) and I tried to push. This was hard because it hurt SO MUCH. I could feel burning and stretching and was afraid to give it my all and push. I held back through the first 2 cx�s and was screaming through my pushing. I also kept forgetting to put my chin to chest which is something I never thought I would forget. I think at this point the nurse asked me to reach down and I felt my baby�s head. That was amazing. On the third cx, after I kept crying and saying, �it hurts, I can�t do this, help me�, my doula said, �there�s no way around this; you must push through the pain. You can do it!� I did and the head came out. Chris began to cry. My dr. said, �one more gentle push to get the shoulders out�. I looked down as I pushed my baby out of me and as the body came out my entire belly deflated. What an odd site that was! I heard the baby cry and Chris looked down and came back with tears streaming down his face and quietly said, �It�s a boy, a boy, a little boy.� I began to cry and we kissed. It was absolute euphoria. It felt so good to not be having those cx�s anymore! After about a minute they clamped the cord and gave him to me so I could have skin to skin and rub the vernix into his skin. He was crying and alert and staring into my eyes. He had a ton of dark hair and dark blue eyes. He was beautiful. My son. |