joknurseryrhymes

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.
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Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.
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Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
That crept up beside her
But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
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Simple Simon met a Pie man
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dipshit!"
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There was a little girl
Who had a little curl.
Right in the middle of her forehead
And when she was good
She was very very good
But when she was bad
She got a fur coat,
Jewels,
A sports car...........
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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses
And all the kings men
Had scrambled eggs and toast
For breakfast
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Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the others got away with
minor injuries.
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Hey diddle diddle
The cat did a piddle
All over the bedside clock
The little dog laughed
To see such fun
And the cat died of electric shock
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Mary had a little lamb
It walked into a pylon
10,000 volts went up it's arse
And turned it's woll to nylon.
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Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls
And made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too
"Cause he was gay.