WEDDING NIGHT

A LAWYER MARRIED A WOMAN WHO HAD PREVIOUSLY DIVORCED TEN HUSBANDS.

ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT, SHE TOLD HER NEW HUSBAND, "PLEASE BE GENTLE; I'M STILL A VIRGIN."

"WHAT?"  SAID THE PUZZLED GROOM.  "HOW CAN THAT BE IF YOU'VE BEEN MARRIED TEN TIMES?"

"WELL HUSBAND #1 WAS A SALES REPRESENTATIVE;
HE KEPT TELLING ME HOW GREAT IT WAS GOING TO BE.

HUSBAND #2 WAS IN SOFTWARE SERVICES;
HE WAS NEVER REALLY SURE HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO FUNCTION, BUT HE SAID THAT HE'D LOOK INTO IT AND GET BACK TO ME.

HUSBAND #3 WAS FROM FIELD SERVICES;
HE SAID EVERYTHING CHECKED OUT DIAGNOSTICALLY BUT HE JUST COULDN'T GET THE SYSTEM UP.

HUSBAND #4 WAS IN TELEMARKETING;
EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW HE HAD THE ORDER, HE DIDN'T KNOW WHEN HE WOULD BE ABLE TO DELIVER.

HUSBAND #5 WAS AN ENGINEER;
HE UNDERSTOOD THE BASIC PROCESS BUT WANTED THREE YEARS TO RESEARCH, IMPLEMENT, AND DESIGN A NEW STATE-OF-THE-ART METHOD.

HUSBAND #6 WAS FROM FINANCE AND ADMINISTRATION;
HE THOUGHT HE KNEW HOW, BUT HE WASN'T SURE WHETHER IT WAS HIS JOB OR NOT.

HUSBAND #7 WAS IN MARKETING;
ALTHOUGH HE HAD A NICE PRODUCT, HE WAS NEVER SURE HOW TO POSITION IT.

HUSBAND #8 WAS A PSYCHIATRIST;
ALL HE EVER DID WAS TALK ABOUT IT.

HUSBAND #9 WAS A GYNOCOLOGIST;
ALL HE DID WAS LOOK AT IT.

HUSBAND #10 WAS A STAMP COLLECTOR;
ALL HE EVER DID WAS..............GOD!  I MISS HIM!!!

BUT NOW THAT I'VE MARRIED YOU, I'M REALLY EXCITED!!"

"GOOD," SAID THE LAWYER, "BUT WHY?"

"DUH!!!!  YOU'RE A LAWYER.  THIS TIME I KNOW I'M GONNA GET SCREWED!!!"

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