| THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES |
| COME AND LISTEN TO MY STORY 'BOUT A MAN NAMED JOHN. A POOR EX-MARINE, WITH A LITTLE FRACTION GONE.... IT SEEMS ONE NIGHT, AFTER BEATING UP HIS WIFE, SHE LOPPED OFF HIS DONG WITH THE SWIPE OF A KNIFE....... PENIS, THAT IS. CLEAN CUT. MISSED HIS NUTS. WELL, THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THERE'S A GINSU BY HIS SIDE, AND LORENA'S IN THE CAR, TAKING WILLIE FOR A RIDE. SHE SOON GOT TIRED OF HER PURPLE-HEADED FRIEND AND TOSSED HIM OUT THE WINDOW, AS SHE CAME AROUND A BEND....... CURVE, THAT IS. TOSSED THE NUB. IN THE SHRUB. SHE WENT TO THE COPS AND CONFESSED TO THE ATTACK. SO,THEY CALLED OUT THE HOUNDS JUST TO GET HIS WEENIE BACK. THEY SNIFFED AND THEY BARKED AND THEY POINTED,"OVER THERE!" TO JOHN WAYNE'S HENRY THAT WAS WAVING IN THE AIR...... FOUND, THAT IS. BY A FENCE. EVIDENCE. NOW PETER AND JOHN COULDN'T STAY APART TOO LONG, SO, A DICK DOC SAID, "HEY I CAN FIX THAT DONG." A NEEDLE AND THREAD IS ALL WE'RE GONNA NEED, AND THE WHOLE WORLD WAITED 'TIL THEY HEARD THAT JOHNNY PEED. WIZZED, THAT IS. EVEN SEAM. STRAIGHTT STREAM. WELL HIS HOOTER WOULD'T HARDEN SO HE TOOK HIS CASE TO COURT, WITH A HALF-ASSED LAWYER 'CAUSE HIS ASSETS CAME UP SHORT. THEY CLEARED HER OF ASSULT AND ACQUITTED HIM OF RAPE, AND HIS PECKER WAS THE ONLY THING THEY DIDN'T SHOW ON TAPE. VIDEO, THAT IS. UNEXPOSED. CASE CLOSED. YA'LL SLEEP ON YOUR STOMACHS NOW, YA HEAR!!! |
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