I do not own Weiss, I do not own Schwarz, I do not own Disneyland ... Please don't sue. Oh, my English is probably crap. Just ignore it. Rating is for child molesting, drug use etc... It's my first fanfiction EVER. Be nice. How Disneyland got wrecked DAY 1 The four of them were sitting in the black stretch limousine. This time without the company of Taketori, which wasn't a bad thing. Considering Schwarz were his bodyguards, he could be nicer to them. Instead he would boss them around, never a word of kindness or gratitude. Taketori Reiji wasn't a model employer. But he payed well enough. They were on a mission. Something like: find target, figure out it's plans and destroy the target. In other words: the usual. Only thing that was off: they didn't know where they were going. Crawford knew, he didn't want to say it though. "Must be bad, real bad..." Schuldig mumbled to Nagi. "I bet he's taking us somewhere REALLY downtown. Somewhere where there are prostitutes and gangfights. Where little kids carry guns to school and even the nuns are on crack." "That'll hurt god." Farfarello snickered. "Probably." Crawford just sat there, motionless. Pockerface on as always. "C'mon Braddy, tell us already!" Schuldig tried. "Nope." "Why not?" Schuldig whined. "Because you will back out." "We are Schwarz, afraid of nothing, mean, ruthless killers. No one can defeat us." "This is beyond your imagination." The three of them raised an eyebrow and looked at their leader. "You're gonna get us killed?" Nagi asked. Farfarello grinned. "No, the mission is fairly easy." "Then why...? Oh, never mind." Nagi turned his attention to Schuldig. "Can't you just pull it out of his mind?" He whispered. "Nah, his retentiveness's mind is even tighter than his..." "I get the picture!" Nagi interrupted quickly. "We'll just have to wait and see..." @@@ A few hours later. "Schuldig, get out of the car!" "No way!" "Don't make me come over there!!" Crawford glared at him menacingly. That was a threat. Bradley Crawford wasn't the man to make empty threats. Schuldig slowly climbed out of the black limousine. "Take Farfie with you." Farfarello was hiding under the bench. Shivering in fear. Mumbling things to himself nobody could understand. Schuldig took one of the Irishman's legs and dragged him out of the car. "NOOOO!!! Leave me alone! I am not qualified for this job. It is out of my range." "Nagi, take out the straightjacket." Five minutes later the four of them stood there. Farfarello bound, Schuldig and Nagi with a disbelieving look on their faces. "How could he..." "This is too cruel. Even for Taketori..." "A mission is a mission. We will complete this as quickly as possible, get paid and forget all about it." Schuldig and Nagi nodded. Farfarello just stared with huge scared eyes. "Let's get this over with." Then they entered..........Disneyland. @@@ "First we'll drop off our luggage at the hotel." Crawford said, "It's supposed to be not too far from the entrance." The hotel was a replica from Sleeping Beauty's castle. "Nice choice," Schuldig hissed to Crawford. "Would you rather have stayed in *Winnie the poeh's treehouse-hotel*?" "He's got a point there," Nagi said, "at least the beds will be soft." They stepped to the desk where a lady in a blond wig and a pink gawn smiled an awfully cheery smile at them. "Reservations for Taketori, please." "Ah yes." The nice lady typed something into the computer. "Two fairy rooms and one princess room, right?" "No, there must be an error," Crawford retorded patiently. Poor girl was clearly in training. "We asked four fairy rooms." "Nononono, the computer here says two fairy rooms and one princess room." "There must have been made a mistake. We will have four separate fairy rooms." "But sir, the hotel is fully booked. We can't just rearrange everything." "We will pay for the inconvenience," Crawford said, still patiently - one eye already starting to twitch. "I'm very sorry, sir. There aren't any rooms left except for two fairy rooms and one princess room." "Ok," Crawford took the keys and turned to the other Schwarz members. "Nagi and Schuldig, you two will share a fairy room." Nagi bolted upright, his eyes getting that lovely shade of red they sometimes do before he smashes a car into a brick wall. "Nu-uh!! I'm not sharing a room with that freak! He'll traumatize me! He's weird! I'm still young. He'll corrupt me and I will become an as big a freak as he is!" "Ok," Crawford answered patiently - eye twitching a little more, "Schuldig, you will share a room with Farfarello." "I won't sleep in the same room as that psycho! He'll kill me in my sleep and play with my intestins until you find him all bloodied in the morning playing twister with my corpse ." "Ok..." twitch twitch, "Nagi..." "Nu-uh!!" "Fine, Schuldig and I will sleep in the princess room, Nagi and Farfarello will sleep each in a fairy room." Great, either I'll get killed in my sleep, or I'll die of boredom. Schuldig thought. The German took his bags and stepped towards the elevator. Easy Bradley, it's only for a few days, it won't be that bad. At least Schuldig doesn't snore....and if he does I'll just suffocate him with a pillow. Schwarz can also function as a three member team and Takatori will fully understand. yeah...everything will be alright. @@@ After unpacking their stuff the four Schwarz members gathered in the princess room. Crawford had bought a detailed map of Disneyland and had put a little Mickey sticker on the place where their hotel was. "We'll have to locate our target first. We have his hotel - that's the Donald sticker. This afternoon he will probably meet his contact. They will negociate their deal. One hundred kilo of cocain will be shipped into the country. We need to know where and when. Estet will intercept the cargo and take care of it. All we have to do is find out the exact time and location. Then we kill the target. We will stalk him in shifts; the other three will keep their eyes open and explore the rest of the park. We don't know who the contact is, so keep your eye out for anyone suspicious - that is not a member of Schwarz. I will take the first shift then Nagi goes, next is Schuldig, then Farfarello. We keep contact and report to each other every fifteen minutes through our cells. Understood?" The three of them nodded, eager to get away. @@@ Disneyland is a big place, if not huge! Lots of attractions and lots of noisy, puking children. All of them screaming and running around. Their mothers didn't seem to care that their breedings were unbelievably annoying. Schuldig had already kicked a few of them, then got in a fight with some people who thought kicking children was wrong. Now he was looking for a place were he could quietly take the drugs he had bought of a guy dressed like Goofy. He hadn't packed any himself, hadn't thought he'd need them on this trip. He had been wrong. Reading people's minds was a nice gift. It had taken him exactly 25 minutes to spot a dealer. To his pleasant surprise it had been Goofy. He had sold him some purple pills. After a pill or two the world was a lot brighter and the kids a lot less annoying. Thank God for these mind numbing lil' tablets. Crawford had noticed something was wrong when he reported. Probably because his voice slurred a bit and because he had reported from twinkle-twinkly-land, surrounded by little elves, who were trying to attack him. "Crawford help!! They are out to get me!!!!" he yelled, before punching Tinkerbel into oblivion and running away screaming unintelligible things. @@@ It was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. Her hair shone like the moonlight and she was dressed like Snowwhite. Nagi blushed when she looked at him. He had been watching her for the last half hour. Finally he dared to go to her and start a conversation. "Hi, I'm Nagi, who are you?" Aww, nice opener, why can't I say anything cool? "I'm Snowwhite, but you can also call me Mary." "Hi Mary....uh, you're doing a great job here. Making the kids happy...and stuff. It's like...uh....really cool...." Yes, try the "scare her away" approach, that'll get you a date. "Thank you, that's nice. Are you alone here?" "No, I'm here with..." What? Assassins? Three psychopaths I work with? "my family." "Yeah, Disneyworld is a real familyplace." Mary answered. "Wanna have a drink after you've done working?" The girl looked surprised for a moment, then she smiled. "Sure, my shift is over in a couple of hours, where are you staying?" "It's the Sleeping Beauty's inn." "Oh?!" "Something wrong with that?" "No no, I don't want to scare you......but people got killed there over the last few months. I just started working here, so I don't know that much, but it seems some wicked serial killer murders people there at night. They are investigating the case, but everything is kept a secret. They don't want to scare the customers away. Just imagine, a serial killer in Disneyland! There even was a kill only three days ago. This guy had some really weird papers with him." She's awfully talkative. Maybe it's 'cause she likes me. "Oh..." Somewhere in the back there was a noise. Kids screaming. These were frightened screams though. Not the screams from badly raised children who thought everybody liked the little ones. From the corner of his eye Nagi could see Farfarello, trying to stab Daisy Duck. "Got to go, see you tonight?" Nagi said hastily. He had to stop Farfie from creating a mayhem. "Sure," the girl smiled. Nagi ran off, like a cat with it's tail on fire to a pool. "Farfie nooo!" He was right in time to prevent Farfarello from making duck on a sharp stick. "Bad Farfie!!! No dessert for you this evening!" He grabbed one of the straps on the psychopath's straightjacket and pulled him away. He smiled apologetically to the traumatized people and ran of, dragging Farfarello behind him. @@@ Crawford was walking the fine line between patience and utter hysteria. Since he was Crawford, he pushed it all to a little ball in his stomach and ignored it. After all, he was a professional. The reports from his teammembers were a bit worrying. No, it wasn't really worry he felt, rather irritation. Yes, that was it, irritation. He was a wee bit annoyed, irritated. Schuldig had been yelling something about pink elves coming to get him. Farfarello had made it his own personal quest to injure as many Disney-figures as possible. Nagi had been mumbling something about some girl named Mary. The other disturbing thing was that their target wasn't planning on getting any deals done before trying out every ride that was fast, made loopings or was just nausea raising. It was the fifth time he had to ride the space mountain. It was getting boring and he was starting to feel real sick. He had been shot before, stabbed, beaten, but this....this was real torment. He was seriously considering to give up on the mission. He should have known from the start that even Schwarz wasn't qualified to deal with this kind of horror. It was beyond their capabilities. They needed the money though. Farfie needed a new straightjacket, Nagi was *finally* hitting puberty (and was *finally* getting tired of those school uniforms he always wore), .... Armani suits were way too expensive; but imagine: Crawford couldn't just wear a Versace! So he rode the space mountain again,... and again,... and again,... Until he discovered that he was so spaced out he had lost the target. "Just kill me now," Crawford mumbled while returning to the hotel. He suddenly remembered that he was sharing a room with Schuldig and his spirits sank to a new low. A vision. A red blur. Something was aiming sharp things at him. An odd clipping noise. It didn't make sense. @@@ "Well, today's mission was a total disaster." Schuldig looked around. "They are out to get me." "Who?" "The fairies!" "Yeah, probably. You beat up Tinkerbel earlier so now her big brothers are out to get you. You hit on the wrong fairy!" Nagi thought it was very amusing. Crawford sighed. He wished to get out of here as soon as possible, but it seemed he was forced to stay at least another day. Tomorrow there was another day of stalking. "I'm off," Nagi said with an odd happy (?) smile. "Where to?" "A date." "Who?" "A girl I met, she's beautiful and nice. She told me the oddest thing. It seems there's a serial killer in the park, killing people in the exact same hotel as we're staying in. Cool ne? Wel buh-bye now." The three other Schwarz members looked at each other. "Farfarello, have you been out tonight?" "He can't have! We barricaded his door, remember?" Schuldig got up with a sigh. "None of our business, we'll be out of here by tomorrow." I hope Crawford thought I really do hope so. Schuldig put on his coat, ready to leave. "Date too?" "....kinda." "Who?" "Goofy." Crawford and Farfarello looked at each other. That man is getting crazier by the day, Crawford thought. Schuldig turned around and made a face. "I heard that!" @@@ Nagi was having the time of his life. After all the crazy missions with Schwarz this was really turning into a vacation. Even all the happy cheery Disney-figures didn't bother him that much anymore. He enjoyed the girl's company. They chatted all evening and ate cotton candy. She even listened to Nagi's insane ramblings about Crawford. "...he can be a real slave driver you know." "That Crawford guy, is he your dad?" "Huh?" "You said you were here with your family." Nagi thought for a while. "Yes....eh he's my dad..." The girl looked rather interested than surprised. Yey she doesn't think I'm a psycho!! "What's the deal with that serial killer in our hotel?" The girl's face suddenly changed. A strange sparkle in her eye. "Three days ago was the last kill. A young man. All of them were young men. I don't know the details either." "Oh." Nagi wasn't really disappointed. After all if he wasn't killing the killers, he surely lived with them. "Let's talk about something else." That moment the fireworks started. Beautiful red, blue and yellow lights filled the sky. For a moment Nagi almost felt happy. Or at least less depressed than he usually was. @@@ Later that evening. "Nagi's still not back from his date." Schuldig grinned. "He's finally getting a life, be happy for him." Schuldig sat on his bed. Crawford had shoved it to the other side of the room. He would have shoved it through the walls if they hadn't been that thick. Schuldig was wearing light blue jammies with Team Rocket on them. Crawford was sitting at the desk. He had brought his laptop so he could do some work. He was still wearing his suit. Schuldig wondered if it was the same suit he had worn all day or wheter it was his pyjama suit that just looked like any other suit he posessed. Crawford looked concentrated to the computer screen. Fingers typing quickly on the keyboard. His stocks were doing really well on the market. clip They were up 2 points. CLip An odd projectile flew past him. Crawford noticed but didn't give it any attention. CLIP Another one. It nearly hit him in the eye. "Schuldig, when I turn around, I don't want to find you clipping your toenails on your bed." There was the distinct sound of a pair of toenailclippers being hid under the sheets. It was going to be a long night. A very long night...