cowritten by Kelsey
�Hey fans, just because �N Sync is nominated, doesn�t mean their gonna win!� said Carson Daly �But the winner for favorite group with 5 members is� �N whoops, I mean The Backstreet Boys won this stupid thing! Backstreet Boys Come on down, you�re the next contestant on the Funky Category Awards!�
�Umm, we won! Yippee ki yi yea! We would like to thank �N Sync, and 5ive for not winning, but especially �N Sync, because they would�ve won instead of us,� said Nick glumly.
�We didn�t want to win this, really. We all voted for 5ive! Really, we did, right Kevin,� exclaimed AJ.
�Umm, not really. I voted for us. My cousin over here voted for �N Sync, right B-rok?� Kevin added.
�Yep, I voted for �N Sync.� yelled Brian.
�Thank you!� yelled somebody from the audience.
�Okay Joey,� Howie said back.
�Anywhoo,� Carson said, �You guys ran out of time to thank people!�
�Oops,� the Backstreet Boys said in unison.
�Thanks Y�all!� yelled Howie. The BSB gave a final wave as they went backstage.
�Okay, next award. Let�s see� this one is for the coolest DJ/ VJ in the entire whole world. The nominees are� Dave Holmes, Scotty Davis, wait a second, who�s Scotty Davis?� Carson asked.
�He�s the coolest DJ on 101.3 KDWB, in Minnesota.� some dude in the audience answered.
�Whatever. Who are you?�
�Umm, Scotty Davis.� The dude in the audience answered.
�Uhh huh, that�s what I thought. Anyway the third nominee is� ME!?!?! Oh well. I guess I qualify,� Carson blabbed. �The winner is� HEY! Guess what, I WON!!! Woohoo!!!�
Chris from �N Sync jumps on stage and starts doing the Cabbage Patch dance, �Go Carson, Go Carson, Go Carson, Go Carson��
�CHRISTOPHER ALAN KIRKPATRICK!!!! TAKE A SEAT!!! For crying out loud!� Carson yelled. Chris obediently sat down with the rest of the group. Justin hits him in the head.
�HEY! I was supposed to do that!� Chris said, hitting Justin in HIS head.
�Come on! You�re ruining my moment!� Carson yelled. �Do you want me to come down there and duck tape your mouth�s shut?�
With that, �N Sync sat VERY quietly. �Well, NOW I ran out of stinkin� time!! Thanks Chris.� Carson yelled.
�Your VERY welcome,� Chris said. Carson gave him an evil look. �OKAY! I�ll be quiet, but only for awhile.�
�Now it�s time to announce the nominees for the best group from Orlando. The nominees are, The Backstreet Boys, �N Sync, and Matchbox 20,� Carson spoke. �And the winner is, �N Sync!
�N sync ran up the stage, well not really. Only Chris did. The other four followed very, very, quietly and slowly, being careful not to disturb Carson. Luckily only Chris does.
�We would like to thank everyone who wants to be thanked. If you don�t want to be thanked, you�re not thanked. If you want to be thanked, then you are thanked,� said Joey only on one breath.
�Jeez Joey, you�re no fun,� whined Chris.
�Well, I actually wanted to thank someone. Unlike anyone else,� said Joey sneaking a look at Carson and the Backstreet Boys down in the audience.
�Well, I want to be fun!� screamed Chris as he fell to the floor, and started in a temper tantrum, just like a little three-year-old.
�Well, you�re just being an idiot now!� Joey exclaimed.
�Well, I don�t care,� shot back Chris.
�Guys, just stop it. Chris get of the floor and start acting like a 27 year old, and not a three year old, said Lance.
�But I have the mind of three year old,� Chris said picking himself up, of the floor, and straitening out his hair.
�Oh great, now he�s doing his hair,� whispered Justin to JC.
�I heard that,� said Chris snootily �I want to thank someone. I want to thank Busta, the road dog!!!!!�
�I want to talk,� said JC �I want to thank all the fans who care about enough about us to know that we came from Orlando, Florida.�
�Okay guys, your time is up.� Carson said, motioning �N Sync to go back to their seats. They took the trophy and went back down to their chairs in the front row.
�Okay the next FCA is for� Most obnoxious. I wonder if who I think should win is a nominee.� Carson continued, glancing at Chris, who was fighting with Lance to hold the award. Carson shook his head, and sighed loud enough to make Chris stop to see what�s going on. �The nominees are AJ McLean, Tom Green and� Chris Kirkpatrick!�
"Please have Chris win, PUH-LEASE have Chris win. And the winner is�� Carson said as he opened the envelope, �Aww, the winner is TOM GREEN!!� Carson looked over at Chris who was sticking his tongue out at him. Tom Green came up said his thank you, yadda yadda yadda.
�And now, to take a break from all the award giving,� Carson said while Tom Green took his seat, �we are gonna have a special guest. Here he is Dave Holmes!� Dave entered the stage, and Carson went backstage, mostly to get away from Chris.
�We�re going to have a quick round of the Say What? Kaereoke Wheel of Death. Do we have any volunteers?�
�Pick me! Pick me!� Chris said, jumping up and down. �I wanna play with the Wheel of Death!!�
�Okay Chris, you can spin the wheel.� Dave Holmes said. Chris ran towards the stage, but instead of using the stairs, he did a somersault onto the stage.
�Tada!!� Chris exclaimed, turning to face the audience. He threw his hands in the air in triumph of being picked to spin the wheel.
"Okay Chris, WALK over there and spin it.� Dave said, pointing to the wheel. Chris ran to the wheel, and gave it a spin. �I said walk. Oh well, whatever�
�Land on Lit, I wanna sing Lit!� Chris said as the wheel came to a stop, on Backstreet Boys �I want it that way�. �GREAT! I get to sing to the BSB.�
�Well that�s what you got so you�re going to have to sing OUR song.� AJ said in the audience, �This is gonna be HIGHLY entertaining.�
�Well, I�m going to sing it better then YOU!� Chris said to AJ. The music started, and amazing enough, Chris knew all the words. He even made sure to sing the �tell me why� part funny, same as the �I want it that way� part.
�Wow, he�s amazing!� Dave announced.
�Thank you, thank you, your all so very kind.� Chris said, bowing. He than took a seat, without being asked a million times first.
�That�s all the time we have,� Dave said to the audience, �so, back to you Carson!� Dave left, and Carson entered. He sighed with relief that Chris was finally behaving himself.
�Okay, the next award is, for the hardest song to sing. The nominees are, Trashin� the Camp by �N Sync and Phil Collins, Bawitdaba by Kid Rock, and Mmmbop by Hanson. How did Hanson get on the nominee list? Oh well,� Carson announced.
�That would be sad if we lost to Hanson, wouldn�t it?� asked Chris.
�Yes, it would be sad,� replied Justin.
�And the winner is� Mmmbop by Hanson,� announced Carson.
�D�oh!� yelled Joey from the audience.
�What I want to know is how Hanson got in this thing. Well Hanson isn�t here, because they didn�t think they would win, so they didn�t even bother coming,� blabbed Carson �But they did send us a tape just in case they did win.�
�We would like to thank our family, friends, and fans. Without them, we wouldn�t be here today.� said the Hanson brothers in unison.
�They were boring,� announced Chris.
�Yes, they were,� replied Justin.
Chris. We don�t care,� said Carson. �Okay, next award thingy. This one�s for best road dog. The nominees are Bizkit, Limp Bizkit�s bull dog; �Lil Tyke, BSB�s giant rat; and�
�WHY�D YOU CALL �LIL TYKE A GIANT RAT!!!!!� Brian screamed at Carson.
�Sorry! May I call him a taco bell doggie?� Carson asked.
�Yeah! I makes him sound kewl!� Brian answered. Carson rolled his eyes at Brian.
�Anyway, where was I?� Carson asked himself, �Oh Yeah, the third nominee is�
�BUSTA!!!!!� Chris interrupted.
�Ya Know, I�m getting REALLY annoyed from getting interrupted all the time.� Carson said to the entire audience, �EVERYONE be quiet and let me read the winner. The winner is� Chris, don�t start whooping if Busta wins.� Chris gave Carson a look that said, why would I do something stupid like that.
�The winner is Busta, �N Sync�s road dog!� Carson was relived that Chris was unusually silent leading Busta on the stage. �Because the winner is a dog, we decided to give the winner a special doggie bone award.�
Chris took over the Mic. �Busta and I would like to thank the animal shelter in O-Town. If it wasn�t for them, I wouldn�t even have Busta today,� Chris fed Busta the treat, �All of you in the audience and at home, if you�re gonna get a pet, get him at an animal shelter. That way we can save one�s who need a home. And remember, control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered. Bye-bye!�
�Whoa, Chris had a speech going�.� Carson said in amazement, �He even had a Bob Barker moment! Right now there�s a standing ovation for him.� Carson looked over to his left, where Chris was still standing. Chris gave Carson a quick glance, before he left the stage. Everyone then sat back down.
�Well, that�s all for this years awards. In conclusion, here�s basically what happened tonight.� Carson said. �We gave away a few awards, Chris was very annoying, that is until his little speech just now, and that�s just about it. Watch my show TRL weekdays on MTV. Buh-bye!�
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