The Jack & Karen show

Karen Quotes

-"Honey, deep down were all lesbians when the rite guy isn't around"
- "Good lord, who Jiffy-popped her head?"
- "Honey, your new dump smells like cat pee."
- "Oh, for God's sake, it's just going to be the four of us. Grab a bottle, hunker down and pray for daylight."
- "Grace, you're stuffed in a box getting rid of ass plaque. Take it as a sign. This evening is a bust."
- "Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and sometimes bad things happen to you."
- "A pack of cigs and a pregnancy scare and this could be high school."
- "What are you lookin' at, Rogaine failure?"
- "Okay, rule number one: unless you're served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips."
- "Fat people are so insensitive."
- "You're comin' in loud and queer!"
- "For God's sake, put your pants on! You're my lawyer, not my dentist."
- "Oh, honey, everything I say about you behind your back is true."
- "Bust my bust outta here."

Jack Quotes

- "Oooh, my very own sexless marriage. Just like Will and Grace."
- "Thou shalt not covet my ex's ass."
- "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice... you're thinning on top."
- "I'm going to say this because I love you. Your disproportionately large head gives you a marionette-like quality."
- "What, a guy sleeps with guys and immediately he's pegged as gay?"
- "F.Y.I., you S.O.B., cater waitering is T.U.F. F."
- "Get over it Grace, you already have one gay husband, leave me be."
- "Mom, there's chicken on the rug!"
- "Ah, Karen, beneath those big breasts beats a heart as big as those breasts."
- "I have a feeling Karen killed a man with her bare breasts."
- "You couldn't go find a real person to hang out with so you get Karen?"
- "Fame, like Toby's new lover, is a rude, ugly, gay guy."
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