Alone in strange places
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, p. B22, 8 May 2000

Traveling alone can be terrifying especially if you have no idea what lies ahead, which, on the other hand, is also why it is so exciting.

Everybody travels alone at one point in time. But traveling for pleasure is something most people do with a partner, with friends, or with the family. My aunt told me that traveling with your partner is the true test of compatibility. She felt relieved that after the trip to London with her husband, they seemed to enjoy each other's company more.

But when you are single, you will often find yourself traveling for pleasure without a significant other or a family. If you get lucky or unlucky, depending on your preference, you occasionally get to travel with friends or relatives.

I have traveled alone so many times. Since there is no one to talk to on the plane, I always have my standard carry-all bag, containing my Gameboy, my CD man I hardly use, extra batteries I never get to use, a new book I never get to finish, and a bottle of sleeping pills.

I also keep myself from getting bored by expanding my airline silverware collection. If all fails, I try to sleep, popping pills. I realize serving food and drinks has become a strategy for airlines to keep you (or themselves) from getting bored. You can't believe how quick flight attendants come up to you with food when you don't want to be bothered and how slow when you need something. Go figure. Maybe they should start giving away "Do not disturb" tags for you to hang around your neck or stick to your forehead.

Anyway, each trip alone has become an extraordinary experience for me, one that I can never experience when I am traveling with someone. There was a time when my airline screwed up my itinerary and made me wait at the airport for four hours. Because I had no one with me at that time, I figured it was okay to raise hell.

If someone were with me, she or he would have told me to shut up and deal with it quietly or raised hell her/himself. Since no one knew me there anyway, I gave the airline people a piece of my mind. To my surprise, one of the flight attendants was someone I went to school with. It was embarrassing at first. But it felt good after since they gave me $200 and a nice bottle of wine to shut me up.

When you travel alone, you learn independence. I am proud to say that I have mastered unloading and loading my camera while walking at breakneck speed, such as, say, while catching a train. You also learn how to read maps by yourself or learn to decipher foreign signs on your own. You also get the chance to practice your foreign language skills. "Wo ist der Waschsalon?" (Where is the launderette?) is one German phrase I now know by heart.

When you have company, you tend to rely on their sense of direction. I also enjoy traveling with my friends and relatives but sooner or later an argument about directions or schedules always comes up. If something goes wrong, everybody starts blaming each other, silently or otherwise, especially when everybody is exhausted, cold, and hungry. If you are alone and you get lost, you've got no one to blame but yourself, who is easier to forgive. A friend of mine once traveled alone in a city somewhere in Europe, taking note of a street sign so he can find his way back home to the hotel. He followed the sign on his way back but after driving around in circles for miles, he realized he was not getting anywhere. He discovered later that the sign meant "One Way."

Traveling alone can be terrifying, too, especially if you have no idea what lies ahead, which, on the other hand is also why it is so exciting. Once I made arrangements to meet my aunt in Amsterdam. I took a flight from Frankfurt to Amsterdam alone, while my aunt was flying in from Vancouver on the same day, about two hours after my flight arrival schedule. It was almost a nightmare because I forgot what her airline was. I checked the flight arrivals and there are about three planes coming in from Vancouver at 15-minute intervals. Worse, the gates were kilometers apart! I almost died. Aside from the fact that I do not know a single Dutch word, my aunt had our hotel reservations! I talked to an airport guard and he pointed to a gate, I had no idea if he understood me but it was worth a shot. Apparently, he understood and I found my aunt.

Traveling alone can also be dangerous. I had been warned so many times about walking the streets of New York alone. I was so scared at first but you just have to realize and learn the general rules for traveling anywhere for that matter. For example, never venture to dark and obscure places or never wear too much jewelry if you are out on a stroll. Never trust strangers, especially those who sell fake merchandise in the streets, especially in places where there are plenty of tourists. In short, try to stay away from trouble and be careful at all times. My bestfriend made the mistake once of handing her camera to a bum so we can have our picture taken in front of the Trump Tower in Manhattan. He would not hand back the camera if we didn't give him a dollar. We were lucky, however, that he only asked for money instead of running off with the camera.

When you travel alone, it also gives you an opportunity to sharpen your acting skills. For your own safety, try to look local no matter how difficult it seems. Act as if you just came from work and are so bored with life in the city even though your heart is jumping with joy with all the sights that you are seeing for the first time. On the Metro in Paris, a friend told me, one has to act bitchy to keep bums and gypsies at a safe distance. You then learn to control your emotions but you also miss out on sharing the same joys with someone who matters to you at the moment you are experiencing them.

Another single friend of mine believes there is joy in traveling alone. He said aside from the breathtaking views, you can admire beautiful people walking by without worrying if your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse will turn the incident into an argument later. Traveling alone gives you the freedom to enjoy whatever you see, without thinking whether your companion is bored. You can just sit and watch the ducks at Central Park for hours without anyone tugging your arm, wanting to walk a couple of hundred miles more. No one will tell you that the souvenir you are buying is not worth a penny. You get up early only if you want to and not because someone wants to be the first in line to the Eiffel tower.

I am not saying that single travel is exclusively for single people. Some married people still travel alone, especially on extra days on a business trip. But it just doesn't feel right taking a vacation on your own once you have a family, not that it's wrong but because of the guilt feeling that goes along with it. My mom cried when she went to the "Small World" in Disneyland because we were not there with her.

When you are single, you are free to discover the world and enjoy its endless wonders without feeling guilty about anything. You can let your hair down and at the same time, learn to be more responsible for yourself. You also become more knowledgeable about other cultures, noticing all the details because time is in no one else's hands but your own. Everything is pretty much up to you, especially on how you could make the experiences last you a lifetime.

As a married friend of mine told another single friend of mine, "No, I am not sorry that you do not have a partner, you are not so alone, you are married to the world and I'm glad you are enjoying every minute of it."