Manila
Standard, 30 August 30, 2001, p.24
Although
there may never be a permanent human figure at close hand, there will always be
other people around who really care, especially in times of need. When the
chances of getting married has gone from improbable to impossible, it always
pays to have good friends to count on. That is why it is very important for
single people to give up bitterness and nurture relationships.
About two weeks ago when Jolina flooded the streets of the metropolis, I
was stupid enough not to bring my car. When my friend offered to bring me to
work that day, I gladly took the offer, not thinking about my mobility
throughout the day or how I would find my way home later. I thought my chances
of hooking up with friends later on were not entirely remote. That is only true
if there was no major catastrophe involved.
On a sunny day, it was fairly easy to hitch a ride or even get a decent
cab. It may take a while but it can be done. A walk home may not even be a bad
idea even if the pollution may temporarily suffocate me. But I know I could
always get home by foot, if push comes to shove. No big deal.
But the rain continued to rage and I thought walking four blocks to and
from my meeting was the worst that could happen to me. I had spoken too soon.
Little did I know that a whole night of
flood horror would soon beset me.
Once I got to my last engagement, I figured going home should not be a
problem since I would only be just blocks from where I live. But attempting to
do so would be a blatant invitation for a severe case of pneumonia. I believe
there are always enough kind souls who would not be bothered by a simple
request like driving four blocks so I could get home safely.
By sheer tough luck, friends who were kind enough to take me home and I
were stranded in a heavily-flooded area of Makati. My friend’s car stalled when
a part of its engine got wet. By this time, I was congratulating myself for not
bringing my car (which is automatic) but at the same time feeling sorry for my
friend. I seriously considered investing in an inflatable raft, one that I
could tuck inside my bag.
Living in a flood-prone area like Makati, I had my share of horrible
flood-related experiences. Embarrassing moments include walking through
waist-deep murky water with floating cockroaches; sleeping in my office; being
stuck in traffic for four hours; and asking my ex-boyfriend to get his SUV to
take me home. Never again. I will never leave my house if the water level is
likely to go up to more than five inches.
(Enough of the whining because no amount of whining and criticism could
really make this government do its job.)
Although I wanted to get home to catch up on my sleep after a grueling
work week, my concerns that night were very shallow. While it was true that my
mobility was still jeopardized, my biggest worry than was how I could go home
without getting my hair or my shoes wet.
Because of the unforeseen circumstances, I had the opportunity to hang
out with two single people, who, just like me, didn’t care how long we were out
during the night, and a married person who was too anxious to get home to his
family.
It was apparent that if we were not stranded, we would have separated
ways. But it was pointless to break up, especially in times of high risk.
Misery loves company.
Besides, staying together ensured our safety, sparing us from being
stranded or drowning alone.
Because three of us were single, we were not too worried about getting
home on a particular time. We didn’t really care that much what time we got out
of that mess. Our married friend, on the other hand, was talking about his
Dragon Ball Z date with his son and calling his wife to let her know what had
happened to us.
It was one of those days when I felt lucky I didn’t have to disappoint or
worry someone just because I couldn’t find my way home. At the same time,
however, I also felt a certain sadness for the very same reason.
I decided to leave my car at home that day and I was glad I did. I do not
know what could have happened if I brought it. Maybe I would just find a dry
place to park and try to find something worthwhile to do alone. And because I
didn’t have to be stranded alone again, I was glad.
It actually felt good, even for just a day, to rely on someone else for
my transportation needs. I appreciated my friends for taking me wherever I
needed to go, something I haven’t really experienced in a long time.
When I was in my last relationship, buying a car never entered my mind.
But when the relationship ended, I found myself without a reliable driver who
used to disguise himself as my boyfriend. After several days of waiting for a
cab to take me home hassle-free (and sometimes in the rain), I decided to get a
car of my own.
But whether or not we have our own cars is beside the point I am making.
The point is that there will always come a point in the lives of single people
when they realize that while independence and freedom could definitely make
single life survival possible and less painful, the same could also serve as reminders
as to how isolated their lives could be.
The challenge for single people really is to be able to cope with the
realities of being without a partner to rely on. Overcoming those realities
make us strong enough to survive life without going insane. But at the same
time, being so can just be as painful. Ironic, isn’t it?
Not having a special someone to rely on or being independent, however,
does not necessarily mean an entire life of being alone. Although there may
never be a permanent human figure at home, there will always be other people
around who would really care, especially in times of desperate need. Because
when everything else fails and the chances of getting married has gone from
improbable to impossible, it would always be useful to have good friends to
count on. What hurts is when there is no one to turn to anymore. That is why it
is very important for single people to give up bitterness and nurture
relationships.
Despite the independence of single people, I do recognize that people do
need people. And it feels good to need other people for whatever reason once in
a while. The truth is whenever I find myself too independent, it scares me a
bit and makes me wonder that if I let it go on like this, I could actually
mutate into someone who really can live alone forever.
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