Are you ready for a blind date?
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, p. 24B, 18 April 2000

There are beautiful stories that come out of blind dates. A man discovered that his blind date was the little girl who used to give him food over the fence when he was a young boy, a prisoner is a Nazi concentration camp. Upon learning this, he immediately proposed marriage.

When your friends find out that you are single and available, the immediate reaction is go through their imaginary rolodex to search for another single friend with whom they can match you. Their assumption is that since you are not involved, you probably want to be. And they will set you up with someone, whether you like it or not. When you are single, expect a lot of matchmaking. You would hear things like "I know the perfect guy for you," "You have got to meet him" or even "You two look so good together." Never mind if their "single people" list has become shorter as you grow older. They are bound to find a prospect.

Appreciate the effort. All of them mean well and, in all honestly, want to contribute to your future happiness. But then, whether or not your happiness depends on finding someone is another issue.

While some people grab the chance to start dating the moment they become single, I refuse to go out on dates, especially blind ones. All my friends know that and they often wonder why. Call it stubborn but I really don't see the point in spending time with a total stranger. I find it awkward and a bit creepy - even though I trust my friends will not set me up with a total jerk unless they are trying to get back at me for something.

But there are beautiful stories that come out of blind dates just like the one featured in Oprah some time ago. In this true story, the man discovered that his blind date was the little girl who used to give him food over the fence when he was still a young boy, a prisoner inside a concentration camp somewhere in Nazi Europe. Upon learning this, he immediately proposed marriage. What are the chances of meeting the same person twice under such bizarre circumstances? Of course, this happens only once in a million years, if at all, and probably a couple of times in the movies.

Another story is about a girl who got jilted by her fiance one month before their wedding. She went out on a blind date and in less than a month, her blind date, who was three years younger, became her boyfriend. After some three years of being together, they got married now have one kid.

People go on blind dates for a number of reasons. Most people blind date until they find their match. Some go out only because their friends force them to. Sometimes when you had just broken up, your friends feel so bad for you that they set you up with someone immediately, thinking they can make things better that way. Some go on blind dates to have excitement and fun. It is a way to socialize, to meet people, to have a few kicks.

But some blind daters turn the potentially dream date into a nightmare without meaning to. It makes me wonder though, since I do not engage in such social interaction, how one goes about the aftermath of a date if the feeling is not mutual. If you dislike the person you went out with, it is not very easy to avoid him or her, unless you have a knack for creative excuses. Try a business trip to Timbuktu. I am certain that your message will get through.

What if you turn out to be the one liking the person who does not share your feelings? Do you ask for another date? Do you make up some lousy excuse to call? Do you start stalking? Or do you simply try to convince yourself that you have as little interest as him or her in you? I can imagine how frustrating it can be. I guess it will be easier for most people to convince themselves that it didn't work out or that he or she is not the right one. But I guess nothing is worth pursuing if the feeling is not mutual. How to handle the aftermath of an "unsuccessful" blind date must take a lot of wishful thinking, selective reasoning or even extreme justification.

I have gone out on a blind date once and it turned a bit nasty as I found the person too obnoxious for my taste. We never got in touch again until we stumbled upon each other some years later. We laughed and talked about that incident. He really is a nice person, once you get to know him outside of that date. Everything really looks good on hindsight. Maybe I'll try it again one of these days, just for the heck of it.