Singles in Bangkok
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, P. B24, 5 July 2001

I remember having a boyfriend while I traveled on a vacation before. I would always end up depressed and wishing he were with me. And with the super unpredictable schedule during tours, it was also hard to keep up with the regular phone calls, which always led to an argument.

Just when I had been sulking about how I cannot seem to get some extra cash and time off, I decided to call my mileage club and ask if there is any miles left for me to use for a trip abroad. I remember having enough miles for an Asian trip, which I intended to use for a honeymoon that never came to be. Because the wedding did not push through, I seem to have forgotten the existence of a free round trip ticket. All the while I thought the ticket validity had expired, along with my last relationship.

Just when I was about to ask if there is a chance for them to reconsider extending the validity of my mileage points, the club representative informed me that all mileage points have been extended for another year! Bangkok, here I come!

I have never been to Bangkok so last week, my single friend Michelle and I packed our bags and went to the City of Angels. It was a relief for the two of us. Like me, Michelle has been complaining about stress.

Sure, once you find money and time, the next challenge is to find someone to go with you. Although some of your friends, married or single, could find the money and time, it was too difficult to find a common and workable schedule. But when you are single, you definitely have a more flexible schedule. A married friend wanted to go with us but she had to beg off because of family matters and other priorities. We would have wanted our other married friends to join our trip but they couldn’t for domestic and spouse-related reasons. But a vacation was overdue so Michelle and I just decided to leave. I was so desperate I would have gone alone if she couldn't make it. Any chance I get to take a break, I would gladly take.

In fact, I have had experiences in the past when I had to travel alone because I would not let the absence of a companion deprive me of the opportunity to see and learn more from life, although traveling on a vacation is always more enjoyable when done with someone. Nevertheless, if there is no one around, you can actually have those experiences by yourself. It's still better than nothing at all.

In Bangkok, Michelle and I were too wild about the idea of having nothing to worry about. No calls were necessary except to those who will pick us up when we arrive in Manila. The main concern really was waiting for our current obsessions to call us on our mobile phones. But as soon as we hit the shopping areas, we totally forgot we were eager to hear from anyone in the Philippines.

Michelle and I patted ourselves on the back once more for being single for we do not think we will be able to take as much vacations as we want when we get married. "If even just for trips like this, I am glad I do not have a boyfriend," Michelle said.

I remember having a boyfriend while I traveled on a vacation before. I would always end up depressed and wishing he were with me. And with the super unpredictable schedule during tours, it was also hard to keep up with the regular phone calls, which always led to an argument. Well, roaming mobile phones were not yet as popular then as they are now.

So we hit the Bangkok streets. We were not spared from the scheming taxi drivers who persistently suggested that he bring us to a store that has a big "one-day" sale. Not only was he persistent, he was too damned annoying. He only dropped us at our desired location when we told him were already late in meeting a friend. To those who are going to Bangkok for the first time, please beware of one-day sales, especially if imposed by a cabbie.

Although there are certain advantages of traveling alone or with an equally single girlfriend, there are also disadvantages. I would like to believe that my gender and my civil status should not stop me from enjoying a little bit of life's pleasures and wonders. But unfortunately, there are still some realities that get in the way.

When we visited the red light district, I would have wanted to hang out outside a bar and have a beer in Patpong to observe the flesh trade. But since I was traveling with another single foreign lady, I didn’t feel very comfortable. It would have helped if we had a local with us, someone who could understand the language, because I would be interested to know if someone was taking us for a ride. Because even if we are all for girl power and women's rights, majority of cultures still think the female is the weaker sex and, therefore, can be bullied around.

At any rate, the trip was tiring but very well-deserved and -appreciated, especially the part where we learned about the well-preserved Thai culture. Michelle and I had so much fun that we made a commitment to travel once a year to at least one foreign country and one local destination. That commitment, of course, only holds if we continue being single for the years to come. We vowed to try to talk our future husbands into taking family trips together, too. But then again, that was thinking way ahead of ourselves.

Traveling makes us learn about different cultures, which is enriching to the mind and soul. But we must not forget, it also gives us an excuse to shop like there is no tomorrow. For almost two years, I have deprived myself of such enriching experience for two main reasons. The first reason is that there is just no time to take a vacation and the second is that I do not have enough funds to have a pleasurable trip.

Although it is true that I do not have to spend time and money with any spouse or children, it is very easy for me to fall into the trap of losing track of time and spending too much effort on unnecessary things. Even if there is really no one to tell me I should be home at any particular day or hour, I always forget that there is still a beautiful world out there waiting to be explored. Having no time for a vacation is not an excuse. You simply just have to make time for it. Some things, given the right amount of determination, just have to be done.

Many people think that because we single people have less necessities to spend on, we also have extra cash in case we want to let our hair down and paint not just the town but the world red. I wish it were true. But sometimes, we singles also get drowned in the stressful and demanding world we all live in. Just like the rest of the population, we singles are also not spared from the effects of our mismanaged economy.

Being single in Bangkok gave us the chance to relax and enjoy the fruits of our labor. It also made us reminded us how free we were being single. Being single and unattached does not guarantee a traveling companion but it guarantees freedom from worries about leaving a boyfriend, a spouse, or a family behind.