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Will you push and shove for your bestfriend's wedding
bouquet? I remember the last scene in the movie "Clueless" when Cher (played by Alicia Silverstone) and the other single ladies pushed each other like crazy just to catch the bride's bouquet. It was a hilarious scene. But in almost every wedding I attended, single ladies had to be dragged to the floor for the traditional "throwing of the bouquet." When I was bridesmaid in some of my friends' weddings, my role was to locate all the single ladies and encourage them to please join the catching. For some reason, I always had to plead, beg, go down on my knees to convince then. At my bestfriend's wedding, we resorted to "musical bouquet" where the bouquet is passed around, rather than thrown up in the air. When the music stops and you still have the bouquet in your hand, you are disqualified. This way, my bestfriend thought, we could ensure that the single ladies want the bouquet in their hands. At least, there was challenge - and, more important, action. I remember attending a wedding where the bouquet just dropped on the feet of one of the single ladies, without anyone bothering to pick it up. That was more hilarious than Clueless. Except that it was also pathetic. The bouquet ritual supposedly and superstitiously determines who will get married next, all in the spirit of tradition and fun. It can be annoying for some single people probably because they refuse to be thrown into the center of attention, scrutinized by those who are married, or they simply do not care much for the ritual. Perhaps because singleblessedness or more aptly in this case, singlecursedness, has become a reality rather than choice for some people, the ritual has somehow lost its credibility. Besides, I know at least a dozen people who having either caught the bouquet or garter remain surprisingly single, even unattached, to this day. At the planning stage of my brother's wedding, we discussed the possibility of singles not wanting to join in the bouquet catching ceremony. So I promised my sister-in-law that my roommate and I would join in and encourage as much single guests to participate. It was a success. (In fact, even the matron of honor joined in!) The participants had fun and so did the spectators. And guess what? I caught the bouquet. If I had been so hung up about the whole thing, I would have felt so embarrassed since the crowd cheered so hard for me, as if they actually believed I would be the next one to marry. My sister-in-law hugged me so tight I felt like the "winner" of some grand prize. Everyone was happy for me. That moment gave life to the whole exercise, despite the fact that it was merely ceremonial. I have never caught a bouquet in my entire life and now I can truly say that it does serve its purpose, not really to foretell who will get married next, but to bring hope and inspiration to the single lady who wants to get married. -30- |