They shoot singles, don't they?
Singles by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, P. B24, 25 March 2001

I receive a number of e-mails from single readers asking God why this is happening — singlehood. When you think about it, is it really that bad?

A friend told me an extraordinary as well as a hilarious story about his ordeal on the MRT, which he rode for a week while his car was in the shop for repairs. Commuting day to day from Quezon City to Makati, he discovered the wonders of the MRT, how convenient and comfortable. After driving his car for as long as he could remember, he could not believe that one could commute with such ease. "I could do this forever," he thought. It was liberating.

Commuting on his own gave him a sense of invincibility and confidence. It was addicting, too, he admitted.

One day, as he got off at Quezon Avenue and waited for a jeepney to bring him to his residential block, he decided to play a friendly game on his cellular phone. While in the middle of his game, the phone harshly disappeared from his hand. Someone had snatched it! As he watched the snatcher speed away with his phone, something inside him said he should never let the assailant get off that easily. He darted toward the snatcher's direction in his long sleeve white shirt, tie, and leather shoes, determined to get back what was rightfully his while shouting, "SNATCHER!" at the top of his lungs.

After several blocks and pumping the right amount of adrenalin to pursue the culprit, my friend got his phone back when the snatcher gave up and willingly dropped it. He was mighty proud of himself but still felt bad that he lost his hands-free apparatus, which was stuck to his ear when the snatcher grabbed the cellular phone from his hand.

His story, while eliciting enough teasing and laughter that lasted a whole night out, has raised a very serious concern regarding the safety and security of people who travel, whether by public or private transportation. What happened to him can happen to anyone travelling alone or with someone. In fact, the same thing happened to another friend of mine who was dining with friends in one of those outdoor cafés. Some scumbag snatched her phone while she was texting. She and everyone else were too astounded to react immediately so the assailant got away with the crime and her phone, of course.

I wouldn't know what I would do if that happened to me. Of course, there is that moment, a split second, when you are forced to decide whether or not you should run after the criminal or just accept your fate, as you tremble in fear. When I asked my MRT-riding friend what he would have done if he caught the cellphone snatcher, he said he would have beaten the shit out of him. Easy for him to say. I wish I could say the same thing but unless I am a black-belter in some form of martial arts, I will have to resign to the fact that I will just have to let the cellphone go.

Unfortunately, reality tells us that it would take more effort for females to actually defend themselves from offenders who are males and physically stronger than their female victims.

Recently, single females travelling alone have been the target of some nefarious elements of our society, making travelling alone for females at night a very serious and major security issue. Security is one of the most, if not the most, serious issues local governments need to address. I do hope and pray that this concern be addressed so that all of us, not just single people, can live, not just travel, safely and securely. One lesson learned from the cellphone-snatching incident is that while the government struggles to find ways on how to apprehend these criminals, we can never be too careful. Before I start weeping over our decaying urban life, let me continue with my friend's tremendous feat.

It is just frustrating that just when we are beginning to enjoy the fruits of being on our own, something despicable happens to ruin it. It reminds me of the ordeal of single people, who, after trying so hard to get used to living a life of singlehood, are reminded every now and then by uncontrollable elements of society of the perceived disadvantages of being single. Just when a single person finds pleasure in being single again, someone can ruin the momentum by just by implying that being single is means loneliness, incompleteness, and growing old alone.

But we have to face the reality that some members of our society, the same society which deprives us of safe road travels, still lacks the maturity and sophistication to accept the fact that some people are meant to be single, happily single. Be prepared for elements who will keep reminding us, intentionally or unintentionally, that singlehood is a default and desperate situation. And because we singles are also part of the same society, we, including myself, sometimes succumb to the mainstream idea that singles are cursed rather than blessed. But singles must be strong to stand up for singlehood, in the same manner that my friend did not allow his assailant to trample on his right to keep his cellular phone. Not only will it lead us to discover our strength, but it will also lead us to know the true meaning of single-blessedness.

When you think about it, the phone-snatching incident was too minor an incident to raise a question to God but sometimes, we single people tend to do the same thing. I received a number of e-mails from single readers asking the same question, asking God why this is happening - singlehood. But when you think about it, is it really that bad? I know losing a cell phone is far from losing the chance to get married but the same principle holds. God always has a purpose.

If my friend did not reach the rock bottom of his emotions, he probably would not have discovered his strength and courage to run after the thief and get his cellphone back. His "I-will-not-let-this-happen-to-me" attitude got the best of him and he achieved his goal.

It is always important to make the most and the best of everything that you have. It's unfortunate, however, that sometimes, it takes an extreme realization incident for one to discover what one is really capable or incapable of.

When I was in Lagen Island Resort last week, I was reminded once again of the disadvantages of being single. The place was too much of a paradise that it was the perfect hideaway for honeymooners. I actually had to leave the swimming pool, which I initially shared only with birds taking a quick dip (Amazing, I tell you!), after I noticed that I was slowly being surrounded by couples who were having a little too much fun splashing water at each other. Don't get me wrong. I honestly felt happy for them but felt bad for myself.

Frankly, I already had too much sun, water, and mush that could last me for a whole month. Leaving the pool, however, gave me the chance to enjoy some peace and quiet, read a good book, take a nap, admire the pristine beauty of the marble cliffs that surrounded the place, and win a few friendly games of billiards (without worrying about the bruised ego of an insecure boyfriend).

More important, I also made new friends. Thanks to the Lagen staff, especially Joy and Ian, for all the help and world-class service extended to us, and my new friends like Julie, Chat, Betsy, and Joseph (Philippine Film Studios), for making my waiting hours under the sun bearable. Please do not forget to call me when Keanu Reeves comes to town!

Comments? E-mail me at [email protected].