When I was a kid, I was told that limbo was where souls of unbaptized infants who passed away remain until Judgment Day. And only on Judgment Day then can they enter the kingdom of heaven. My grandmother told me Catholics had kids baptized as soon as possible to prevent them from being stuck in limbo.

Figuratively, limbo refers to any place or state that is neither here nor there, neither near nor far. It could be a stage in life when one is faced with enough uncertainty to not know whether to go forward, go backwards, or stand still. It could be a state of indecision, confusion or cluelessness.

Many single people I know are also in limbo, a holding place prior to judgment. Because there lies in singledom an unending list of questions of uncertainty, the most persistent of which remains to be "Will I ever get married or not?"

Everytime I begin or end my sentences with "if I get married," my friends are always quick to tell me, "How can you say such a thing? Of course, you will get married, dear!" They sounded as if my getting married was a given, a sure thing. But is it? Why do I feel that everyone is so certain that I will get married someday?

I can only think of two reasons for such violent reactions. The first is that they honestly believe everyone in this world should and is destined to be married. But we all know that this is just a mass delusion that most people, including singles, are suffering from. A delusion that was probably initiated by the belief that getting married is natural progression, a normal course in life, a stage, like puberty, that everyone must go through.

Marriage to me is one of the two different paths in life. Those who are still single may or may not be in the same path. But this does not mean they made a wrong turn along the way or that their path leads to a dead-end. It merely means that the trail is different, leading somewhere else.

Some paths, however, allows the traveler to choose from two possible directions - to get married or not to get married. Those who are single by default are on a single trail where there are no such crossroads. It is true that while there are a few people who would choose to remain single all their lives, many would still prefer to be married. I honestly doubt if there is anyone who would still opt to remain single after finding true love. But not everyone finds true love in this lifetime so others just marry anybody who came close.

Without marriage, however, does not mean that life becomes incomplete. I believe that single life offers experiences that are different from experiences in married life. Those who got married in their teens would not even know what I am talking about. Maybe some of you are thinking that I am just saying this because I am single and trying my best to make myself feel better. Well, maybe I am, but at least I feel better. And I cannot for the life of me concede to the thought that my life is incomplete just because I have not found the right person for me. My life could be unique or probably too different from the mainstream, but definitely not "less" in any way.

The second reason why people reassure single people of marriage is that they think it will actually make that someone feel better, assuming that being single forever is too much of a realization for anybody to bear. A middle-aged couple from New Jersey once told me how sorry they felt for their single friend who always had a hard hanging out with them. They said it used to be fun for her to be single before when everybody else was single, too. But she was left with no one to hang out with when everybody started getting married.

Honestly, the reassurance makes a single person feel better not necessarily about the promise that they will marry someday but about the concern from friends. Everytime I have meals with my friends, I consciously refuse to sit at the head of the table because of the superstition that says a single woman who sits at the head of the table will not get married. I do this not because I believe in the superstition but because I want to amuse my friends, or, sometimes even myself. It relieves them to know that I have not closed my doors on marriage yet.

Another question that single people are dying to answer is "Can I survive being single forever or not?" I have tried to answer this question already in last week's article by quoting Mae West when she said, "I am single because I was born that way." If we were all born single, what makes us think that we would die if we remain single?

An interesting limbo question of single people, especially those who are already seeing someone, is "Is that person the right one or not?" Such question is crucial for it determines whether the path would lead to a married or a single life. Single people are always on the lookout for that special someone, unless they have totally given up on the idea of getting married. Once they find a potential someone, the game begins.

Singles can still afford to test waters and spend time to figure out if the person they are going out with is the right partner for them, for the meantime or for life. But while in the process, it still affords room for uncertainty. Is he or she worth it at all? How do I know if he or she is taking me seriously? How on earth do I know if he or she loves me?

I have received a number of such "limbo" questions from young people recently and I honestly do remember thinking about that too much when I was their age. But I also find myself asking the same questions now. Maybe I just forgot how it was before because my friends would always kid about how juvenile I was everytime I would talk about my special someone.

Sure he is special but then again, he still leaves me in limbo. If I were younger, I would have probably intoxicated myself until I muster enough courage to tell him what I feel, only to regret it later on. Now that I am not that young anymore, I could be cool about it the whole time. Frustrated but cool. We could spend hours together and I still could not (and would not!) say anything about us. Of course, the prodding from my friends never stops. But then again, I am a wuss and I know I will have to pay the price. But so far, I am still enjoying the comfort level we are currently in even if I know my patience is slowly running out.

I am not trying to answer all these limbo questions because I am pretty much in limbo myself. We may ask these questions all our single lives and probably until we die if we remain single until then. But it would not hurt to start preparing for, and, later on accepting both a "yes" and a "no" answer. Let's just hope this does not turn into a severe case of schizophrenia. Watch out for signs and be prepared to accept whatever life blesses you with. Always count your blessings and thank God for them.

Single life is pretty much "limbo" life. But that does not necessarily mean that married life is heaven. It just means that single life is still full of unanswered questions that married people have already found answers for. The answers, however, may not be the answers we would all love to hear.

Comments? E-mail me at [email protected].

Special thanks to Lagen Island Resort in El Nido, Palawan for helping me get this article to you.