Love in the most unexpected places
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard Anniversary Special, P. 1-F, 12 February 2001

How do you really know when it is time to hang on and continue searching or when it is time to throw in the towel? The answer: You don’t. Love hits you like a brick when you least expect it.

When they sulk or grumble impatiently, asking what in heaven's name is keeping the right person from entering their lives, they are often told that love will come at the right moment and place or that they are not looking hard enough.

Some say, "seek and you shall find" while some say "it will come when you least expect it." How can two extreme opposites answer the same question? Everyone seems to have a brilliant theory on love, but to me, it remains the biggest mystery in life.

Where do you find love? A book on being single enumerated places where one might find his or her lifetime partner: parties, bars, community activities, health and sports clubs, supermarkets, bookstores and libraries, coffee shops, malls. But then again, that book was written by an American author. In the US, it is not unusual to strike a conversation with someone you don't know, especially if you are alone. Somehow it is always easier or even polite to say, "Hi! How are you?" to anybody, even to a total stranger, without expecting a response. Here in Manila, it seems that raising your eyebrows to acknowledge you say someone familiar is enough. When you say hi to someone you don’t know and they think you're strange or crazy.

Schools and workplaces are breeding grounds for would-be couples probably because of the amount of time spent with each other. Most of my friends met their partners way back in school or at work. Some, however, met theirs at parties or were introduced by a common friend or a relative in a similar social gathering. These are the usual places where you meet your future, so they say. But there are also unusual places where love can be found.

Maria works in an information technology firm that shuttled her between Manila and the US for almost 10 years. She never had a boyfriend. And she did get sick of people asking her when she would ever have one. In one of her trips abroad, a friend set her up with another Filipino residing in the US, who turned out to be a neighbor in Manila. They grew up a block away from each other for years but had never met. It is quite odd that they had to meet hundred of miles away from their neighborhood where they shared half their lives. After two dates, they fell in love. Lately, I received an e-mail announcing that they already had married each other in some chapel in a small town in the US! I swear I fell off my chair. They are now blessed with a beautiful son.

Rissa just came out of a relationship, partly enjoying being single again. Once a week, she and her family would visit her brother in a drug rehabilitation center, where, during one of her visits, her brother introduced her to Harry. When Harry was allowed to leave the center, they began to see each other, falling in love along the way. A year later, they got married and are now expecting their first child.

Annie, who was not looking for a relationship, worked for one of the Senators campaigning for the reelection. She would average about three political rallies a night and it was normal during a campaign that you shake the hands with people you just met, exchanging phone numbers, too. In one of the rallies, she met Joey, who worked for another Senator. They saw each other again at the taping of a television show, where bother their bosses were guests and this was the only time they exchanged phone numbers. He called her, took her out and wooed her. Needless to say, they fell in love.

At the wake of his friend's mom, Bum and a group of friends were forced to stay to keep his bereaved friend company. Bored, they all decided to play a game of truth or dare with some other people. A strand from a "walis tingting" was lighted and passed around the circle. Whoever held the stick when the flame died would be "it." The flame died in the hands of someone he fancied but hardly knew. The "it" was dared to kiss the person he liked most and Bum was surprised the kiss was meant for him although he was sitting beside the most beautiful girl in the room, whom he thought the "it" would kiss. It was the start of something big. (No, I am not confused with my pronouns.)

It was World War II. There was a young Jewish boy locked up in a concentration camp. Everyday, a young girl would pass by the barbed wire and see him hungry and in pain. The young girl would then throw him some food. The boy survived the concentration camp and later moved to the US. Years later, he went out on a blind date with a very beautiful girl who asked him where he was during the war. Amazingly, his date turned out to be the little girl who gave him food during the war! Is it coincidence or is it destiny? Right there and then, he asked her to marry him. This is a true story, as told in Oprah.

I used to think that finding a partner in cyberspace was somehow unusual but when I visited several websites on how people meet their partners, I got some 10,000 stories on love in cyberspace. Not so unusual, after all. It has become so common that even my jerk of an ex-boyfriend cheated on me in cyberspace! The nerve.

But how often do you hear stories about people finding love in a rehabilitation center, a political rally, a wake, or even a concentration camp? Love found them later but the fact is those places where the couples first met were nowhere near a coffee shop, a mall, or a bookstore.

Love does come in mysterious ways. The truth is no matter how hard we look for love, we can never really be too sure we will find it. We just find it when we do. How do you really know when it is time to hang on and continue searching or when it is time to throw in the towel? The answer: You don’t. Love hits you like a brick when you least expect it.

Many say the "right one" will come along at the right time and the right place. Well, let's just hope so, even if Ally McBeal said that the right one may have already come along but got away. Sometimes, we get too busy with our lives that we hardly notice who passes us by and then we will never know if the right one already did.

I don't see signs of true love from where I am standing, although I am hoping and wishing that it is well on its way. Well, unless my latest obsession starts noticing me a little bit sooner, I guess I will have to resign to the fact that I will have to meet my match in the most unusual place. He was certainly not in Edsa. Or was he?

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