New Year's resolutions
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, P. 24B, 04 January 2001

Thus evolved my first New Year's resolution — I will not deprive myself of going out with my friends just because they are married. There is no point in passing up precious time with life-long friends.

I so enjoyed the Christmas break that I almost forgot plans for New Year's eve. Last year, I spent it with my brother, his wife, my friend, and her boyfriend. Although logic tells us that the beginning of the new millennium is actually this year, entering a millennium has been the center of everyone's attention last year so we joined thousands of people who were seeking a fun celebration at Ayala.

Year 2001 — the real beginning of a new millennium. I've been alive for more than three decades now, a third of my life if I get to live to 90. A good time to reflect and look back at the past year.

When I did, I realized that some of the problems I had to deal with had something to do with my being single. Although year 2000 for me has been full of tears, confusion, and shocking revelations, it also offered me great opportunities and lessons.

The new year is not complete without new goals or, as we call them, resolutions. Here are some of the resolutions I have made and how I came to make them.

Resolution 1 - I will not deprive myself of my friends just because they are married.

Except for one New Year at Times Square in Manhattan, New Year's eve of 2000 was the first time that I actually tried to figure out what I would do. Unlike some people who party until they drop on New Year's Eve, I am used to just spending it with my family and whoever my boyfriend is at that time.

Although my family celebrated New Year's Eve the way they always have, I felt doing something different so I called my single friends to ask if they were up to a wild party that night. Besides, my brother and his wife, the only two people I can really hang out with in my family, were out of the country.

My single doctor friend was on duty. My other single friend was celebrating the occasion with relatives who were in town from Seattle for the holidays. Another single friend was spending it with her boyfriend and their families. Another single friend of mine told me she can no longer bear spending New Year's Eve alone and wanted to be spared from pity invitations from couple or family friends, so she packed her bags and spent the once-a-year occasion out of town.

After a couple of phone calls, I gave up, accepting the fact that everyone but I already had plans. On a night out, I just had to ask my couple friends about their plans and practically (and pathetically) begged them to invite me. Luckily, they were also looking for some company on New Year's Eve.

So I went to a dinner party with three couples and their kids. Amazingly, all the people at the party have given up drinking, at least for that night, so my plans of getting myself drunk on New Year's Eve was out of the question. Besides, I still had to drive a pregnant woman home.

But despite being the only single adult, I had fun that night. Not only did I have the whole bottle of red wine and champagne all to myself, I also got to take home leftovers that could last me a month! Thus, evolved my first New Year's resolution — I will not deprive myself of going out with my friends just because they are married. There is no point in passing up precious time with life-long friends.

Year 2000 was the first full-year that I have spent without a special someone and it took a lot of adjustment and getting used to on my part. There were even instances when I refused to go out with my couple friends just because they were already living in another world, the married world. I would sometimes get tired of putting up with conversations about married life and the problems that come with it. But then again, that is the reality I have to live with and after a year of trying to accept that fact, I guess I have accustomed myself to converaations about pregnancies, gynecologists, pediatricians, and husbands.

Resolution 2 - I will fix my bed and the rest of my apartment.

Staying at home has always been one of my favorite past times but unfortunately, I don't get to spend time in it as I would like to. Sometimes, I had to remind myself that my place is not a hotel I use only as sleeping quarters. I also forget that there is no chambermaid who will make the bed when I go off to work.

Since my roommate moved out, I conveniently transformed her room into a walk-in closet. Sure, I have more space for my hanging my clothes but I also have more space to throw them around. Not a very good idea. I have to start following my original floor plan and make one room into a study where I can work as well as a studio where I can paint.

Resolution 3 - I will spend my money wisely.

Everytime I visit my closet, I cringe at the sight of all the clothes I have bought and haven't used. I also wince whenever I look at my bookshelf with unread books I bought at ridiculously high prices. Sometimes, I have trouble finding storage space for shoes I only used once but are just too pretty and expensive to throw out.

The good thing about being single is being able to spend your money only on yourself and nobody else. The privilege, however, does not mean that you should forget about the future and spend your money mercilessly. I read a book that warned the single person of getting older. Its author, Elizabeth Hilts, says that single people should stop pretending that someone will establish retirement funds for them. Let's face it, some people may die single. There is really nothing wrong with that. It's just reality. Buying stuff that will make my aged single life a little secure is not really a bad idea.

But that doesn’t mean I will deprive myself of the pleasure I get from shopping. I'll just be careful this year on spending on things I absolutely don't need. Besides, I am up to my neck paying my bills and this government is not making it any easier for me either. But then again, what I need can be very tricky. I can claim to "need" another pair of black shoes and no one can really stop me from needing it.

Resolution 4 - I will lose 10 lbs.

My grandmother who suffers from slight memory loss told me several times during the holidays that I have gotten so fat. I did gain some pounds but she didn’t have to tell me a thousand times! I accusingly pointed at my mom as the culprit. I told my grandma to blame my mom who prepares doggie bags for me each time I visit but was quick to say I did not gain a single pound.

But I am sure a lot of us gained a couple of pounds during the holidays. How could you not?

There is food everywhere you go.

Losing weight has always been a resolution of mine. Unfortunately, I only end up gaining instead of losing. But that's what gyms are for, right? Work it out, baby. Sweat it out.

These are only some of the resolutions that I am determined to pursue throughout the year and since they are pretty much under my control, I will have an easier time accomplishing them. I would gladly add another: New Year, new boyfriend. But then again, that would not be under my control now, would it? Anyways, Happy New Year to all!

Comments? E-mail me at [email protected].