Shop while you're single
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, P. 24B, 12 October 2000

Urban singledom is a marketing man’s dream: a demographic with the anxieties of teen-agers and the bank accounts of the middle-aged.

I rarely go around malls, shopping like a mad woman, but when I do, my married friends would always criticize me, asking me — almost reprimanding me — how I could spend so much on unimportant things, how could I be so wasteful, how could I not think straight whenever I step into a store.

Frankly, as a single person, there are really only a few things I need to buy for myself, mostly just toiletries. I eat out 80% of the time so I do not need that much food to stock at home. Therefore, the things that I buy are more of what I want and, than what I need. When you are single, you are only thinking of yourself and nobody else when you shop, which is great because you get to know yourself better, even if only in terms of what interests you.

My married friends who have children tell me that shopping for themselves is a luxury they can't afford. Sure they find stuff that they want to buy for themselves but they are so used to just buying stuff for the kids, given how expensive everything is nowadays. They would just gladly rather buy for the kids rather than for themselves. They do love shopping for their kids, but indeed shopping has taken a different form in their lives now that they have children. They admit they sometimes feel deprived but the deprivation is usually outweighed by their "want" to buy things for the kids.

When I was in the US as a student, I had to watch everything I spent because I made little money as a student and I also wanted to treat myself occasionally to small vacations with my friends. When I came back to Manila, I tried to save on a wedding that never happened. But even after the wedding was called off, I caught myself still obsessing over my checkbook, which I find impossible to balance. I couldn’t figure out why I was still stuck, so I gave up. I didn’t see the point anymore of watching my spending too closely, especially after realizing that I was depriving myself of things for no particular reason. From then on, I have decided to stop counting my money and just live life like there is no tomorrow. And this you can do only when you are single.

When I broke up with my boyfriend, I suddenly found myself without a car. I didn’t want to buy a car just yet because I was still thinking it would be a waste of money if my boyfriend and I got back together. It was pathetic. But each day, as I stood out in the streets (yes, sometimes in the pouring rain) waiting for a cab driver to give me a ride, I became more and more depressed. I didn’t realize until then that I needed some mode of transportation, not a boyfriend, to get me where I wanted to go. Barely a month after the break-up and after I accepted the fact that we will not get back together, I got myself a brand new car. It didn’t matter anymore that I would be in debt for the next eight years or so. Besides, I can’t think of anything that I should really save for at this point in my life.

Of course, I can no longer engage is such impulsive buying once I get married. First, I would feel that I should share whatever major financial decision with my partner because there will definitely be other priorities to spend on, if not a house, some other couple-thing like a trip to Paris or something. Second, once you have kids, they will be the priority (according to my married friends, at least).

The amount of money you spend on children is no joke. You spend on medical bills, diapers, baby clothes worn only for a maximum of three months, formula/milk, vitamins, toys, more clothes, insurance, tuition fee, vaccination shots, still more clothes, etc. etc.

It is a shame that my married friends can no longer enjoy the "selfish" shopping we single people indulge in. But shopping is not just about arbitrary spending. No, I am not encouraging excessive spending. In fact, I hardly have money. All I am saying is shopping remains to be a woman's favorite sport. When they shop, women constantly compete with others and themselves to find the best deals, the biggest discounts, or the rarest find - a treasure hunt of sorts.

Just like my columnist friend Mavie Castrillo (New York Stories) put it beautifully: "Living single always involves shopping. Yes, you can overload on your purchases and max out your credit line, but the true sense of shopping is not about buying. It is getting to know your inner self through the places and things you take interest in. Therefore, you have to splurge on time in order to actively shop. Not only does this exercise you physically, that is you end up walking for hours, but shopping allows you to be one with your senses. It lets you be most sensitive to your needs, your character and your limits. Shopping can be a most exhilarating experience only to those who have the luxury of time and space." And who among us in this planet has the most time and space? Singles, of course.

A Newsweek article suggests that urban singledom opens new prospects for marketers. Richard Scase, professor of organizational behavior at the University of Kent, predicts single-person households will outnumber families and couples within a decade and suggests that today’s companies should think of high-earning singles as a key market. "It’s a marketing man’s dream: a demographic with the anxieties of teen-agers and the bank accounts of the middle-aged."

Shopping is most liberating for single people. It is a quest where you get to know yourself more, a chance to explore possibilities, an exercise in decision-making, an expression of freedom. I guess shopping is one of the many reasons why some people think women enjoy singlehood more than men do.