How singles like me can survive Manila
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, P. 6D, 20 September 2000

Manila is not a friendly place for singles, but only because one is expected to marry sooner than later.

Although I still believe that Manila is not exactly the friendliest place in the world for single people, I also believe that there are some places that can be classified as places where single people get their kicks. These places do not necessarily have to be "party" places. They could be as noisy as 78 orange or as quiet as the National Museum. I sort of felt depressed at first that I couldn’t come up with a list of places in Manila that I would enjoy going to. Maybe I just stopped having fun? What a dreadful thought! But I refuse to concede that singles like me do not have fun anymore in the city.

I thought hard and tried to remember places where I had fun with my equally single friends whenever we got the chance to hang out. Some of those places are still around, although most have already lost their novelty. But I did ask some of the single people I know where they hang out and where they can enjoy their singlehood.

I could go on and on writing about the places where most people hang out nowadays but from what I saw, those places are likewise being enjoyed by majority of the population - singles, married, and even minors! What I found out is that the mood is what really counts. "I want to go to a quiet place where I can sit back and enjoy a bottle of beer," one of them said. "I want to go to a place where I don’t have to scream just to carry on a conversation," another said. So to be more accurate, I will just list the generic name and identify the best of those places in Manila that I know, as I go along.

Coffeeshops - I formed the habit of getting coffee at every coffeeshop during winter in the States. It gave me an excuse to go inside and get warm. In my university, we only have Starbucks and Au bon pain. I felt bad leaving them behind. But when I came home sometime in 1998, lo and behold! Coffeeshops in every corner in Manila! And Starbucks! For a single person, a coffeeshop is an extension of your home, a big living room. You can read a book, do your homework, or simply chat with other friends while enjoying a good cup of coffee. Coffeeshops are God's gift to single people. You can hang out and not look stupid even if you are all by yourself.

Bars/Clubs - A good place to go to when you want to get all dressed up, stand up all night, enjoy the thrill of having to find seats, listen to ultra-loud music, bump into other people, scream, or dance. Unlike in the States and in the movies where, as a single, you can go to a bar and pour your heart out to the bartender, bars in Manila are loud places, more like clubs - the best places to go to if you don’t feel like talking. The best ones are in Makati, Ortigas, and Malate. I heard of new ones in Intramuros but I haven’t been there. I have a friend who used to bring me to bars so just I would know what I was missing. But he suddenly stopped doing that. Now, he is the one I am missing. (No offense?)

Grillers - They had been popping out of nowhere, sprouting like mushrooms - Gerry's, Crocodile, Tom Cruz, etc. But I do miss Trellis in Forbes where, as singles, my friends and I would grab some cheap but extra-good food after playing tennis in Fort Bonifacio.

Restaurants - There are a lot of them in Makati, Ortigas, Greenhills, Malate, and Libis areas. I love the salad in Portico along Adriatico. I love the food in Petra along Connecticut Street in Greenhills. When you get the time, it is always special to have a decent and quiet dinner with your single friends. Since there is nothing much to spend on, it doesn’t seem like splurging to eat some good food if you are only paying for one person. There are too many good restaurants in Manila to mention. I leave it up to the food critics Jopet Concio and Charina Quizon to decide which are the best ones. Also, some restaurants have nice bars like CPK and Outback where I get comfortable enjoying a nice glass of cranberry vodka tonic all by myself.

Gym - If only I could only afford it, I would buy myself a lifetime membership at the gym in the Shangri-La Hotel in Makati. I love having to run on a treadmill while looking at the Ayala traffic and part of the Makati skyline. I would love to have a treadmill at home but if I do, I will have to make it my bed because of the little space that I have. Aeroboxing helps me release all the stress and anxiety sometimes brought about by being single. As a single, it is always good to stay fit because you wouldn't want to be very sickly knowing that there will be no one to take care of you.

Ice cream parlors - When we singles feel life is being unfair, we go for a special treat. We sin some more by eating a lot of ice cream. Nothing beats going to the Manila Peninsula lobby for their ice cream. No, it's not just the ice cream but the idea of actually having to a hotel just to eat ice cream. After having our fortune told, my friend and I got so affected that we tried to forget everything we heard by having our ice cream there at midnight. We also get treats from Haagen Daas, Dairy Queen and other ice cream places around Manila. Somehow eating ice cream makes us feel better occasionally.

Sports clubs/bars - Polo Club, Makati Sports, Valle Verde Country Club, Alabang Country Club. No, I am not a member but some of my single friends are. Singles spend time playing a lot of sports - tennis (my personal favorite), swimming, badminton, squash, bowling, and billiards. A lot of my male friends play also golf. They would be late in meeting up with me but never a minute late to wake up at four in the morning for a golf match. Night golf in Intramuros sounds really cool. A new sports bar/billiard hall, Detour, recently opened along Jupiter. Nice to have one in a decent place for a change.

Moviehouses - Going to movies is the perfect pastime for everyone from all ages. But my single friends and I would always enjoy a good movie. A number of my single friends enjoy watching movies alone. I am very picky about moviehouses so I only go to one - Glorietta 4 or, in text messaging, G4 (sounds like a ride in an amusement park).

Videoke joints - When my single friends and I want to sing out all our frustrations, there is only one place to go - I.O. along Jupiter Street. A place that looks like your living room with a TV and microphone. We went there once just to catch Friends. I also spent my last birthday there with two of my good friends. It doesn’t really matter if you can’t carry a tune. Somehow singing takes away whatever pains you have and releases the hidden energy you are sometimes too afraid to release in public. What is important is we can sing girl songs like "Ironic", "Lady Marmalade", or "Wannabe" to our hearts desire, with matching choreography. It's undeniably cheesy but fun. Not the perfect place for a date, unless you want to turn him off with your out-of-tune version of "Kiss Me."

Bookstores - I would say library but there aren't any good ones in Manila. A single friend told me that the bookstore is the best place to find your perfect mate since everything is already classified. If you want to find someone you have something in common with, the best place is the bookstore. Go to the romance section if you want to find someone romantic, to the sports section if you want to find someone sporty and to the art section is you want to find someone artsy. The best ones in Manila are Power Books, The Filipino Bookstore and the Bibliarch.

Grocery - I know it sounds like my mother's hangout place but as a single person living on my own, I do love grocery shopping. I get a kick out of buying things for my own personal use and consumption. What I buy is mine and nobody else's. True, most of the grocery stores are for families as they have huge chunks of everything, too much for me to keep fresh. But I enjoy going there anyway. Manila offers a wide range of grocery stores - Rustans, Landmark, and ever reliable Cash and Carry. Santi's is the single person's grocery store. On a lazy evening when you are running late to prepare yourself dinner, you can go there and buy one piece of Weisswurst, a slice of cheese and a small piece of bread.

Multi-purpose malls - Glorietta and sometimes, Greenbelt when you don’t want a crowd. If only I have enough money, I would live in the Oakwood so I could have the most efficient and enjoyable rich single life. Imagine just going down the elevator to find the mall tempting you to splurge on anything that you want! I remember when my roommate and I took advantage of the weekend special at Shangri-La Hotel in Makati. Glorietta is a single person's haven. We walked the earth, I mean, the mall. We shopped (window or otherwise) here and there until we drop, and when we did, we sat outside the Tea Salon for hours, sipping our tea, smoking, watching passersby. We also ate cheap but good food at the Food Court, hopped from one bar to another, and bummed around at Starbucks until our eyes were wide open with caffeine. Although there are other good malls in Manila like Festival and Shangri-La, I am biased toward Glorietta because I grew up there.

I could go on rambling about the best places single people can go to but honestly, I also enjoy going to my own apartment where, after a days work, I can relax, watch TV, drink my snapple, write a decent column, and enjoy some peace and quiet. I have lived in Manila almost all my life and I could not see myself moving elsewhere (except probably Manhattan) while I am single. Maybe my preference would change if/when I get married. Who really knows?

Postscript: I would like to thank the following: Katherine for walking the malls with me, Blanca for trying her best to help (even if she's already married), Richie for keeping me up-to-date with all the "in" places in town, Paolo for feeding me at Petra, and Tonito for being so nice in helping me finish this column and for reminding me of all the places I used to (and can still) enjoy. (Nice try but I'm not going to Chico's!)

Comments? E-mail me at [email protected].