Alone
SINGLES by Karenina Yaptinchay
Manila Standard, p. 24B, 2 March 2000

As you get older, relationships become more like a practical decision, a business move. How much do you invest? What is your ROI? But single proprietorship is definitely an option for all. Make a go for it now - expand later into a partnership, a corporation, a conglomerate, if you wish.

After a day spent lazing around and eating nothing but chips with aioli dip, it was Saturday night. What makes people want to go out on a Saturday night? They just probably they just wanted to get out of the house or be with people they like. But now that I have my own place (and have fewer people to like), I guess staying home is not that all bad.

My roommate went out to see her boyfriend who was nursing a flu. He had been helping us set up our apartment, drilling holes and putting up shelves, and all. A friend promised me a movie that night. But after waiting the whole day, he bailed out the last minute. It was then too late to find anybody to go with me. Sounds pathetic, I know.

I realized how much of an ordeal it was, you know, being on your own, when I stayed in the US. I am not the "dating" type. Just can't stand having to spend some time with someone I hardly know. I don't even know who I would care to know. I usually just hang-out with friends but as the years passed, the number of available friends started trickling down as work and family get in the normal course of things. I thought that in the Philippines, the idea of having my close friends within a 40-kilometer radius would make a difference. Not. I have to get used to the idea that my friends are either spending time on work or with their families. Let's face it. We all have our own lives to deal with.

So it was just me, Ms. Anti-Social, and my place on Saturday night. Trying to find something worthwhile to do, I went to the hardware store to get some screws that would allow me to put up shelves in my room - a task long over due. Thank God for "do-it-yourself" stores. In less than an hour, I was able to put up two shelves in my room while Olivia Newton-John's ultimate 80's movie "Xanadu" was on (I had quite a laugh, actually!).

This is one of the moments that actually allow aloneness to slowly creep in. I've only been on my own for a year, without, you know, a "significant other." Single for about a year ha! Sometimes I think it is part of my mourning after the break-up of a four-year serious relationship. As my recently-singled friend said, the break was a relief but then again you now realize the advantages of having that relationship.

She actually felt relieved of the fights, arguments, disagreements, having to "ask" permission to go anywhere, reporting, trying to please the person and his family, etc., etc. The list could be endless. But then she raised a point that I am sure we all, especially single people, recognize. Along with it goes the advantages of having a regular date for weddings, family affairs, someone to hug, someone to help you run your errands - the idea of being two, instead of one. It can be a good thing but it could also be a dilemma to most of us who are schizophrenics.

As you get older, relationships are more and more seen as a practical and (pardon the insensitivity of the word) business decision. How much do you invest? What is your ROI? Am I cost-cutting? Does the benefit outweigh the cost? How do I deal with bankruptcy? What is the bottomline? At the end of the day, you do your assessment and make a sound decision and then prepare a presentation or even a press release about it, just in case you are asked. And just like at work, relationships can burn you out especially when you do all the work.

Your "business" partner can also be a pain, especially if he or she fails to live up to the responsibilities that come with the job. If he or she forgets to pay your taxes, then you will get fined and if the amount is big enough you can go to jail (and if it qualifies as "economic sabotage" then you can be given the death penalty!) And then you scream "It is not my fault!" but nobody listens. With hope, they don't lock you up in chains and throw away the key. Of course, nothing hurts more if your partner decides to pull out of the business and tells you of his or her plan to divest in another partnership.

On the other hand, the partnership can also be successful especially if both parties are competent, professional and responsible. Some companies are "successful" because of the principles that guide them. Although profits are the ultimate goal, some companies actually or still do it "the right way" or at least try to. In some companies, values are given importance and are kept at all costs, even if sometimes doing it the right way would lead to a short-term loss. They believe that keeping the values will eventually lead to long-term profits. But then again, everything depends on the parties involved and on how well they run the business.

But single proprietorship, which could eventually grow into a partnership or a corporation, is definitely an option for all. Enjoy all the benefits you reap from it while it lasts and then expand.