Ahh..

Yes, I have watched you, and grieved your death, which was my doing.

But today, my child of blood and blossoms, you are reborn!

There is a glow in your eyes, and this brings me more joy than I could hope for.

Even if that glow is hate.....

And if that joy is pain...

I am not who you believe me to be, nor will I ever be.

Milo:

I walked up the long stairway, into the Kyoko's temple. He had asked for me, early this morning. The sun shone brilliantly, at last the rain had stopped. I smiled wistfully and let myself enjoy the fragile peace we lived in. But it was soon to die, wasn't it?

It had been almost a year and a half since I had last heard of Camus... I guessed he was busy with his pupils.

However, sometimes I got a faint wisp of him, here and there. We were connected at more than one level, and just like we could sense each other's moods, sometimes we got traces of thoughts and feelings from each other. His pupils though, were something that was completely hidden from me. Maybe next time, I would ask him to tell me about them, he seemed greatly attached to those children.

Even knowing they would die soon.

But he should have finished training the oldest one by now....?

It was odd, not to have heard from him in such a long time.

But in a way it was better like this, his absence had given me time to pull my life together, come to terms with myself. The memories still hurt.... but it was a pain I had to learn to bear.

I reached the heavy doors and pushed them open, stepping in with respectful slowness and a calm and serious look on my face. I had been summoned previously, a week or so ago, but in the end Aiolia had been given the task the Kyoko had originally intended for me. I didn't really care, despite my outwardly reaction, it was dishonouring to fight such small children.

The Kyoko sat on his throne with his arms at his sides, the dark blue mask hid his face. I preferred it that way, had I seen him, face to face, I would not have been able to refrain from trying to kill him.

"I came, as you wished."- I bowed shortly and knelt before him. He tensed slightly and nodded.

"You are faithful."- It was the usual remark to be expected from him.

I looked up, my eyes piercing the red glassy stare of his mask.

I waited for him to say something, explain why he had called me, but he just looked at me, and this made me all the more uncomfortable. I remained expressionless, but his intense stare made my skin prickle.

It felt.... familiar.

Yes child....

It is me, the one you hate.

How alive you seem now. I regret having called for you, for I do not have the courage to ask you to do what I had planned. You seem so whole now, I am afraid of breaking you again.

I risked to much, almost two years ago, when I deliberately led you to rediscover your feelings. I could have killed you...

Maybe I did try to kill you.

This faint laughter may very well hate you.

I have made Shaka into a monster, now only one weakness remains.... but I healed you. So which part of me was it, that arranged that? Did I want you dead or alive?

I don't really know, it has been a long time since I know why I do things.

You make me strong, but you also make me weak.

And sometimes I wish I had done things differently... but what I did, I did it for love.

Yes child, for love.

Milo:

"Have you heard about the rebel Bronze saints?"- Yes, I had. I wasn't sure wether I should admire them for their foolish bravery, or find them a disgusting nuisance. Was this about those kids again? Had Aiolia failed?

"Yes, lord."- I did not take my eyes off him, still uncomfortable after the long scrutiny.

He nodded in approval breathed in deeply, as if to say something, but then looked down at me, and let the his breath go in a sigh.

I frowned and clenched my teeth.

Why did he have to stare at me like that... wasn't it enough?

Hadn't he won the battle?

He had claimed to himself the one thing I truly loved in this world!

Damn him!

For being the Kyoko, and for having that power over Saga... Power enough to own him.

Child....

I see bloodlust in your eyes, and a fury and hatred that leave me wordless. But that hatred.... it is not for me, is it?

But for whom you think I am.

Ahh, the laugh grows stronger, it has not yet won but it feels it will

You still move me, very deeply. It scares me that there is still a creature in this world that can touch me so, maybe that was why I tried to break you...

Yes, I am evil.

But I love you...

And as long as you live you are a danger to me... to my very essence. There is no truce for me, for my memories. I rejected you because I wanted to save you, and that was what destroyed you.

And then, when I tried to finish what I had begun all those years ago, I saved you!

And now you stare at me, so hatefully....

I tried to pull you away from this tragedy.... I tried to rescue you, and give you a chance to love one that could respond in kind.

I never dreamed you had become as attached to me... as I was to you.

But I couldn't love you, because a part of me would always seek to hurt you, to be free of love so it could win over me. I tried to push you away, but I couldn't forget you, and you yourself would not let go.

And today... today I see that I have no choice. To undo the evil within me, I must die.

I lack the courage to end my own life, I am a survivor at heart...

And you only bring me pain... and that too, is all I could ever give you.

And you are the one thing that holds me to this world, and I must let go.

To become true evil, or to kill it, I do not know. But perhaps, when you are gone there will be nothing worth in this world and it will be easier for me to die.

So I have to kill you, my beloved child...

Because I made the mistake of falling in love with you, you must die.

Milo:

"It is really quite simple..."- The Kyoko began in his deep unaffected voice. -"One of those kids... Andromeda... is greatly supported by his sensei. In other words, Cepheus Albior is against us."- I looked at him, beginning to understand why he had called me, and not liking it one bit.

"Is he to be reprimanded?"- I inquired, smiling ironically, my eyes flashing dangerously. I had heard nothing but good things of the Cepheus saint; he was said to be noble, loyal, intelligent and strong. And now he was to be punished? Was he really a traitor?

"No, you are to go there and kill him."- The sudden words rocked me backwards, the sheer enormity of it. It was not unusual for me to be summoned and be asked to kill someone... but, Albior?

Since when had he become a betrayer?

It dawned on me that I was thinking in a dangerously heretic way, considering my loyalty to Athena it was not up to me to question the Kyoko. But then again, I wouldn't trust Shion for anything.

"From what I know, Cepheus Albior is a devoted saint."- The Kyoko made a dismissing gesture with his hand.

"Not anymore. You will leave tomorrow morning and destroy the Andromeda Isle training grounds."- I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind.

Kill Albior?

Kill Albior?

How could I refuse... Shion or not... this was an order from my Lady Athena!

I shook my head and fixed my eyes on the ruby stones on the mask.

"Yes, lord."

You doubt....

You should... I am sending you out to kill a wonderful man.

And you know it.

But Albior is nothing but a little pest, a nuisance, if I want the world for myself.

I started as I realised how fragile the wall between my selves had grown, if one could so easily melt into the other.

And then you accept, I am after all, the Kyoko.

But how you hate me!

I wish I could take off this mask, and show you who I am, tell you that I still love you...

Like then....

"And you are...?"- I asked in a soft tone of voice, eyeing the young man in front of me with a raised eyebrow.

"Milo, sir."- He replied with a cheery attractive smile. The boy could not be older than fourteen, but he looked more mature, interestingly so. Of course, he was also very flattered I was talking to him.

As a high ranking gold saint, the child probably felt he was being set apart from his fellow novices.

Which he was.

I had noticed his growing power level with interest, and I had wanted to ask his teacher, Scorpio Blood what he thought.

"Ah, Milo, I shall remember that."- A dark blush spread over the youthful features.

And he gave me that smile again....

"Gemini Saga?"- Blood turned to me and smiled, his ice-blue eyes lighting up with a mischievous light.

"Blood."- I acknowledged him with a faint smile. -"I see your pupil is developing really well."

A look of honest pride crossed the Scorpio saint's face, his pale skin colouring slightly. I sighed and looked at him, seeing how his past had changed him; he looked more mature, and sadder...

But that was all in his eyes, physically he was still the same as before Morgana had entered his life. His shoulder length straight red hair, so dark it was, literally, the colour of blood; his Icy blue eyes that shone with an inner light, his porcelain skin and fine features, so often sensual and mysterious.

Blood could indeed be called handsome, but there was more than that to him. There was an aura of intense mystery around him, a secret so deep no one could find it. And he was so playful, most of the time, full of jokes and laughter, and still... his eyes never smiled.

"He is certainly very skilled... I think he will be my successor."- I blinked, surprised. I had expected that to be the outcome, but I did not think Blood would accept it so easily. The child's confirmation as a Saint would then mean Blood's death. But, when I thought about it, Blood didn't really seem to fear death, he approached like a moth was drawn to light: with awe and curiosity. Death was to Blood like a hobby, he brought it to everyone else, and through them learnt of it, but it was still yet to come to him.

"It looks like that."- I conceded, smiling as, a bit below, Milo won a few matches without any effort. -"And he seems very... interesting."

"By the way you look at him it seems like you desired my pupil, isn't the Kyoko enough for you?"- I smiled and shrugged.

But I wasn't really Shion's lover. He had been dead for quite a while now.

Dead.

By my hand.

This was something no one would know, that I was in fact both the Gemini saint and the Kyoko. It was easier to have them believe we were lovers, it explained my staying in his rooms and being absent when he was around in public. Whatever he had to say I knew beforehand, they all thought.

"Not quite perhaps. Speaking of which, how is Ganymede?"- I saw Blood wince at the mention of his lover's name.

"Fine, Milo and his pupil get on really well."- He was avoiding the subject, it was obvious. But, after all, he always did. Even though he and Ganymede had been lovers for a very long time now... he always avoided speaking of him. What was their real bond?

"Just how well?"- I asked, smiling vaguely, picturing both pupils mimicking their teacher's relationship. It made me feel... strangely jealous.

"Not that well!"- He exclaimed laughing, seeing what I meant. -"I seems Gabriel is not interested in Milo in that way."- He replied in an unaffected tone.

"Gabriel?"- I asked, a bit confused.

"Ganymede's pupil, you know, the quiet sober looking one. From France."- A vague image was the best I could do.

"Oh"

"And you want to become saint?"- Milo and I were sitting on a rock, talking quietly. Blood had seen us, but said nothing, it seemed he found my interest in his pupil highly amusing. And he was a bit jittery, he always got jittery when Ganymede announced he was coming. But then, Blood liked being with him, it was just....

A strange relationship.

From what I knew Blood had been seriously in love with Morgana, a female trainee, a long time ago. They had been together for quite a while, even after Blood won his cloth. But Morgana had run away from Sanctuary one day, and no one had heard from her since.

I shuddered as I remembered Morgana's odd cosmo, and realised it was pretty obvious why nobody could ever find her again.

But why did she leave, if she loved Blood?

Some things I would never know, but it was still confusing. After she left Blood had wound up as Ganymede's lover. Why did he do that if he loved the girl? And it was so soon after her escape.

Aquarius Ganymede....

If he had ever seen her face, indeed.

But something told me it was more than just physical resemblance that had driven Blood to his best friend.

But the end result was the same... Ganymede just accepted him, no one knew why, he did it knowing Blood would forever be in love with Morgana.

I shook my head and focused on the child beside me.

"... because I want to protect the earth, and those I love too."- He finished with a smile. I smiled back at him, frowning slightly as I saw his lips curve in the same way as Blood's did. How much of a teacher blended into his pupil? His words were noble, but he seemed to have plenty of ulterior motives. Power, perhaps?

I could relate to that, as much as I hated the fact. But I decided not to say anything else, I really didn't want to swim in darker waters right now. Not when I was so messed up myself.

"That is, admirable."- Milo blushed at my compliment and bowed his head slightly, his hair falling to one side. I bit my lip as I saw his tanned neck exposed.

Did the child know how beautiful, how sensual he was?

"And you? I mean, how about you, Gemini Saga?"- I smiled bitterly at the child's hasty formality and looked up at the sky.

"I want to bring peace to the world."- At least, a part of me did.

Milo nodded and got up, dusting the back of his pants. I looked at him, admiring him in the morning sunlight.

"That sounds... nice."- He mumbled, and made his way down the hill.

"Saga?"- Milo ran up to me, his hair tied back in a ponytail, a smile on his lips.

"Milo! What brings you here so early?"- I laughed as he came to a halt, gasping for breath. How fast we had grown used to each other; my occasional chats with him had become and everyday thing.

And I loved them.

It scared me, that I felt like this.

This child really moved me, and I found myself wanting to be in his company more and more. Nobody had ever made me feel this happy, this calm....

But... it was wrong.

I shouldn't....

"Saga?"- I looked at him, at his wide blue eyes and sunshine smile, and felt something break inside of me.

"Um? So why are you here?"- Milo shrugged conspiratorially.

"Aquarius Ganymede is here, so Blood said I could have the day off. I thought we might do something."- I saw him smile fondly, at I felt a sliver of fear run down my spine.

There was more than more than just simple respect in his look...

"And Gabriel?"- Milo made a face and shook his head.

"Don't know, don't care."- It surprised me.

I had thought there was strong friendship between them... or more, even though Blood had denied it. But it seemed like they were not very close...

Or that something had come up between them, which wasn't very hard considering the situation they lived in, with their teachers as lovers.

"Whatever."- I replied and Milo smiled at me.

There was a moment of silence between us, as we just tasted the sweetness of being together. Alone.

"We could stay here..."- Milo left his sentence open, but his eyes pleaded for me to say yes.

My mind screamed at me that I shouldn't, that it was wrong... but I could only nod numbly.

And then he smiled again.

And I knew I had fallen in love.

We sat together on my bed, Milo looking all around him, as if trying to imprint every detail of my room into his mind. Then his eyes settled on me, a question glimmering in the warm blue orbs.

"It's very..."- He searched for the right words, a bit confused. -"Weird?"

I laughed heartily at his honesty, and felt him relax.

"Yes, I like contrast."- The very essence of my room was a play of contrasting shades. And all of that mingled with mirrors, everywhere. Milo gazed at his reflection in one of them, and then moved slightly and found himself reflected into eternity.

I smiled a bit and got up, to stand by him.

I had intended to stand between the same two mirrors, just to see us both together in a world without boundaries.

But somehow, I could not hold back, and I ended up hugging him.

"I love you..."- Milo whispered in my ear as we lay together on my bed.

It had been already two months since we had become lovers, formally; though only Blood knew.

And Gabriel too, after all, Milo had told me how his friend had been adamantly against it.

But Milo didn't listen to him, and for that I was both thankful and sorry.

It would have made things easier for me.

But...

The truth was...

"I love you too."- He smiled and snuggled in closer to me.

I put my arms around him and sighed contentedly.

Milo and I go on so wonderfully.

Blood had asked me at the beginning if it was something purely physical. But no, it wasn't.

Milo and I could talk for hours on end and still have something to talk about the next day; with him was with the only person I felt comfortable; he warmed me, making me feel light-headed sometimes.

And there was no mistaking in the way my heart pounded when I heard him call my name...

Or say he loved me.

Gabriel had been a problem, though.

From what Milo had told me -rather unhappily- I had been able to piece the situation together. Milo had told Gabriel that he loved him, but Gabriel rejected him.... and I was sure Ganymede had somehow influenced that decision. But I wasn't sure why... it was just a feeling.

But Gabriel was dangerously observant, and I knew that he - based in common knowledge- assumed I was still the Kyoko's lover. Since impersonating him meant I had to "be summoned" by him very often, to the young trainee it seemed like I was cheating on his best friend.

Milo trusted me too much to doubt.

Foolish, lovesick child.

But for that too, I adored him.

Sadly...things could not remain like this forever...

Yes....

Back then you were all that mattered to me, and in a way, you still are.

But I made a mistake then, I let myself be loved by you, I let you love me.

And with that I signed your death-warrant. It may be today, tomorrow or yesterday; but you are destined to die because of this.

After many years of thinking, I have come to see that my love for you was the only thing that kept me from loosing the sane side of my self too soon. In other words, you are the one who kept the evil at bay until the right time...

Until it was ready to surface and win.

I tried to save you, my beloved child.

I just didn't realise you loved me so deeply.

Milo:

I walked down the stairs feeling and empty ache in my chest.

I simply couldn't refuse, my loyalty to Athena prevented that from happening, but.... I closed my eyes and shook my head, it was useless. I had to do it. I might as well do it with my head held high. I was just fulfilling my duty as a saint of Athena.

Sunlight bathed my temple in a gentle, peaceful light. How unfitting, I thought. I strode down the stairs that lead to my quarters and flopped down on my bed, looking at the stone ceiling. I had to get up and go, but I just didn't have the heart to do it. After that incident with Shaka I had regained most of the emotions I had lost after Saga... it had meant I was a lot better... more human, but it was also harder to perform my duty.

But the truth was... not matter how I grieved it, I didn't regret that time I spent with Saga... because I still...

I shook my head and sighed sadly.

I really had to get going, I had work to do.

Outside the sun shone brightly; one of those warm days we had been missing over here lately. It was a day for relaxing and talking to a friend. A day for remembering good moments.... On days like this my Sensei would sit on a rock near a small flower bed and just think... though sometimes it was almost like he was waiting for someone. On such days he would be open and friendly to me... yet, odd.

Like he was living in the past as well as in the present, and my presence was both a anchor to reality, and a separation between the world and the fantasy he wanted to live in.

It was strange, but now that I thought about it... I had come to be a lot like Blood.

Blood...

"Blood?"- He sat atop that rock, his straight hair flying in the wind like bloody flames.

"Um? Oh, Milo, what is it?"- He stared at me, almost as if he didn't know me, lost in some faraway memory.

"Nothing... I just wondered if you knew when Aquarius Ganymede and Gabriel will come again."- It was the wrong thing to ask, I knew it immediately. His face darkened and he frowned deeply.

"Sometime soon, why?"- He turned to me, his icy blue gaze burning me with its cold fire.

"I just..."- I didn't know what to say. Back then I just wanted to see Gabriel... to hear him laugh or to feel the silky strands of his hair between my fingers when he let me braid them before we trained. I wanted to go and bathe in the river uphill and see the his wet skin shine under the sunlight, to see his deep blue eyes and know he was there....

Suddenly I grew aware of a change in the air. Blood no longer looked sad but surprised, and he seemed to be seeing me in a new light.

"Milo..."- He spoke up suddenly, spreading his arms. -"What do you see?"

I looked around, not really understanding. -"A flower bed?"

"Yes, a flower bed. But, nothing else?"- His smile had that odd enigmatic curve he so often used when he should have looked sad instead. I walked closer to the rock, but nothing had changed. It was a trick question.

"No, not really.."- I shrugged with a small defeated smile and let my arms fall at my sides. Blood sighed, his eyes going distant for a second, then freezing over as if trying to forget whatever he had remembered.

"That is all it is to you. But to me, it is much more important. This is where I made the two most important choices of my life. The last one, I now believe to have been wrong, but that is besides the point. What I mean is, to me this place is special, because something I cherish happened here."- I blinked, trying to understand what he was getting at.

"Yes...?"- I mumbled, with a half smile in my face.

"When you love something, fight for it. Let it know you love it, and never... hear me, never turn your back on it. Make every moment last, and love to the very limit of your heart, and beyond."

Then he had risen to his feet and walked off.

I shook my head to dispel the memory.

Why had I thought about that, now?

It had been along time since I had given my teacher any thought. I had really liked him, but he was too....

Intense sometimes, but under all of that there seemed to be only pain. It hurt him to sit on that rock on sunny days, and yet he did it, always.

I hated that, wallowing in pain for no reason.

But then, I had done my fair share of it too, only, after that I became cold enough not to care.

Strange.....

There were many memories I hid deep within myself, Blood was one of them too. I had really never given those years a thought again. I had blocked them all in order not to remember Saga, but that had erased Blood, and Aquarius Ganymede... and Gabriel....

The gentle child that never learned how to love. It was so strange, when he finally donned the Aquarius cloth, it was like something had broken inside of him. He found out something that he had been searching for a long time, that much he told me. But that thing, had seemed to freeze him inside, planting a rejection towards love so strong, that he simply could not feel it.

And so Gabriel, had become Camus.

Though his inability to love seemed to come from the time he begun to train with Ganymede, at his teacher's death it was absolute.

I sighed, a bit used to being assaulted by forgotten memories by now.

"Well, time to go."- I concentrated my cosmo, to teleport myself to the Andromeda Isle training grounds. I wasn't really good at it, but as a gold saint teleportation was almost compulsory. It did tire me out a lot, though...

As light flashed before my eyes; I flared my aura and gritted my teeth as freezing cold took over my senses, blotting out everything else. It was only a few seconds, and I appeared on the edge of a cliff, on a barren rocky island.

Andromeda Isle.

I extended my senses a bit, feeling the different cosmos in the vicinity. The strongest one was definitively Albior's. I hadn't really ever taken the time to feel him out before, but I knew. It burned, pure and strong, a noble white-blue fire, shinning through all the others.

A fire.

Soon to be put out.

I sighed and clenched my fists, bowing my head. It was either this or become a traitor. Like Aiolos, all those years ago.

A traitor.

Like Saga. All those words of love, all those... LIES!

I looked up, feeling more in control, and flared my cosmo until it engulfed half of the island, and felt all the other lesser auras react violently to mine. Albior's seemed to contract, and then expand, trying to touch mine, to establish contact. I let a shock run through my power, a warning of my reasons for being here.

Albior's cosmo tasted of bitterness and confusion.

But I had no time to dwell upon that, I could not let myself be concerned by such things as my opponent's feelings. I was an assassin, not a healer.

"Cepheus Albior, you have been charged with treason, sentence is to be carried out immediately."- I spoke in a deep threatening voice, the echo bouncing off the cliffs, resonating in the small valley where Albior and his people stood. How strange my voice sounded, yet I had been doing this for years now!

"I am loyal to the Goddess Athena, I have never betrayed her!"- Albior cried, his hands palms up, to show his honesty and good will.

Goddess...

He sounded so honest, so.... true.

"You have helped the child impersonator."- I replied, dismissing his comment with a wave of my hand, portraying a nonchalance I did not feel.

"You are wrong, Milo."- His deliberate slip of formality annoyed me, and I could feel my energy building up, humming its bloodlusty song. This was my cosmo. What did it feel like to others? A promise of death?

The children cowered near the edges of the cliffs, their eyes fixed on me, waiting to see what would happen.

Albior shifted slightly, and I saw fear in his eyes. Fear and concern, though I didn't know for whom.

Did I really have to kill him? Was he really against Athena? Perhaps, I was right in not wanting to kill him..

But then I remembered Saga; how I had believed him when he said he loved me, how I had trusted the soft light in his eyes when we made love, and I realised I could not let myself be mislead by appearances.

But shouldn't I trust my instincts?

Still... I was afraid, of what I was about to do....

But even more, I was afraid of my own judgement.

"That is not for me to judge."- Albior shook his head and adopted a combat stance, his powerful cosmo growing around him, a mere spec of light compared to mine.

"So be it."- Was all he said, and I was upon him.

And this too, caused me pain.

So you will not betray your word. You swore and oath to Athena, and you will fulfil it not matter what. And then again, you are too hurt still to be able to trust yourself. And you are afraid of making more mistakes, of seeing things that aren't there.

I can feel your power and that man's, and I know that you will win. But Albior will put up a fight, and you yourself are not at your best. This is the first time in two years I have sent you to do something that might upset your judgement.

The Milo I inadvertently created would have just gone there and killed Albior without remorse, but now you feel doubt.

You feel pain; pain for this man whose cosmo feels too noble to be that of a traitor.

Rest assured then, my child, he is not. But you must kill him anyway, he is a nuisance.

And his death will be your undoing, my love, his death will be yours too.

Once you are gone I can let go, and then, the faster I submit to this evil, the faster it will be over. I can die then, knowing that you will never find out the truth.

Perhaps that is what I really fear, that you will find out who it is you have been hating all this years. I want you dead, but not broken. At least, not by knowing the truth... no, not like that.

I guess that is the only way I can show you how much I love you.

How much I truly cared....

"He is dead..."- There were tears in his eyes, his voice a whisper as he gazed at the limp body, sprawled at his feet.

The Scorpio Gold cloth shone with a new light, clinging to his body like a second skin, humming it's song of death, uncaring of its former bearer's destiny. But then he called it off. Milo looked up, and the sadness I saw there cut me like knife.

"Yes."- He bowed his head then, as my answer erased any possible hopes he might have had.

For there lay Blood, blue eyes open and unseeing.

Dead.

How strange he looked now.....

All that mystery, all that magnetism and power and charisma; it was all gone. His eyes had been deeper than anything I had ever seen, despite their pale hue, full of secrets and shades of colour and forgotten emotions he had - just like his pupil, years later- hidden from himself.

But that was gone, all there was there now was a man with light blue eyes and a hair so red it seemed to be the same colour as his blood. Nothing else.

Milo bit his lip and shook his head, tears of rage falling down his cheeks. -"Why...?"

"That is the way to works. At least with your cloth..."- And I saw him wince as I gave him the title of Saint, at long last. -"... There cannot be two Scorpio saints. The final test is to see if the pupil can defeat his teacher."-

Milo clenched his fists, laughed bitterly.

"You knew, all along..."- It was not a question. I dropped my gaze and said nothing. I could feel his anger and pain, his utter confusion. -"And you never..."- I cut him off.

"Never what? Told you it would be this way? This is life Milo!"- I told him, trying to sound calm, but feeling too affected by his pain.

"Death?"- He asked me sarcastically, his eyes going over the husks of what had once been his teacher. There was no other way to define it, lacking life, Blood's body was just that: a body.

"Milo..."- I moved closer to him, to put an arm around his shoulders, but he moved away.

"No."- He looked at me, eyes full of resent. It hurt so much, to have him look at me like that, but it was not me he hated, he just needed to take it out on someone.

So I ignored his warning and hugged him, pressing him against my chest. At first he fought back, hurt and confused, but at last he gave in and leaned into me.

"He wanted it, didn't he?"- Milo mumbled against my shoulder, and I could feel his tears on my neck.

I hugged him tighter, wanting to protect him, to keep him safe, but not knowing how.

"Yes."- I answered, and I felt him let out a shuddering sigh.

"Somehow, I knew it."- He looked up at me then, and smiled sadly. His smile a warm blessing, and I realised

I had been holding my breath, afraid that the hatred in his eyes had been for me truly.

I sighed and bent down to kiss him. His lips were warm and soft, and it made me feel oddly guilty, to be kissing him beside the corpse of a former saint. But it felt too good, to know he was mine to this point, and that he had survived. Yet suddenly he tensed in my arms, and I knew he had opened his eyes and realised what we were doing, and where.

"Saga!"- He protested, his palms on my chest, pushing me away. I let go of him, let him get his breath back.

He just stared at me, eyes wide and confused. I shrugged, and saw him shudder, almost as if something in my eyes had scared him.

And then I knew it was too late.

He was a scorpio, it had been foolish of me to think he would not see deeper into me, after being with me for a whole year. I bit my lip and turned away, but Milo seemed to shake himself out of his stupor and grabbed my hand.

"Wait, don't go."- It was not a plea, but it shook me despite his levelled tone of voice. I slowly turned around and smiled softly. Milo raised an eyebrow at me, his eyes sad but alight.

He was a saint now.

"He looks so different..."- Milo and I lay together in my bed, his head pillowed on my chest as I stroked his hair gently. I sighed, brought out of my reverie.

"Hm?"- I mumbled, half asleep after we had made love.

"Gabriel... he even changed his name, he says he wants me to call him Camus."- My hands paused as I considered this. It really must have upset him, enough to bring it up so shortly after having slept with me.

"Many saints use pseudonyms, I'm surprised you didn't change your name."- Milo let out a heavy sigh and raised himself on his elbows to look at me.

"What I mean, is that he looks, well... different."- In a way I knew what he meant. Gabriel had come back a Gold saint, but now he was Aquarius Camus. And of Ganymede nothing was known. But indeed, Gabriel acted the same, looked the same, and still... there was something new in him.

And it was not something good.

"Did he say anything?"- I inquired, running a hand over his soft cheeks, down his neck.

"That he had found the answers he had been looking for."- Milo lay his head on the pillow beside mine and frowned. -"But he looked so... sad."

"He seemed colder to me, not really sadder."- Milo's frown deepened and he sighed.

"It's just a feeling... but..."- I silenced him by kissing his lips passionately.

It was not that I didn't want to help him, it was just that I wanted him and I felt that the more time went by the more I was loosing him.

The more I was loosing myself.

"I hope you feel at ease as guardian of your Temple, rise Aquarius Camus."- I changed my voice and hid my cosmo, hoping the smooth blue mask would conceal my identity from the youth's piercing indigo eyes.

Gabriel rose and bowed, his eyes never leaving the red stones that hid mine.

"Thank you, lord."- There was a coldness in his voice that was new, something had frozen in his heart.

He turned to leave, clearly disliking being here.

With the person he believed to be seeing his best friend's lover. Thinking that I cheated on Milo, seeing Shion behind his back.

Well, child, Shion has been dead for a long, long time....

Still, it unsettled me to know that I would have him so close from now on, trying to read through me. Ganymede had been a lot less curious...

"May I ask something?"- He turned to me again, eyebrows raised. -"What of your teacher, Ganymede?"

Gabriel's eyes clouded, and I felt the room grow slightly colder.

"He died."- And even though he said it as if it was obvious, I could never quite shake the feeling that there was something else there.

Today I will break you for good, my child.

Today your humiliation and confusion will be complete.

And then I can let go, and it won't matter if the truth is found out, because you will not know it.

You will not know that it was me all along.

That I rejected you by my own free will.

Even though I did it because I loved you...

That's why...

For love....at least one side of me did it because of that.

Milo:

It had been a long time since I had faced such a skilled opponent, usually my encounters ended quite fast. But Albior was very good, and his cosmo was powerful even by silver saint standards. He was really more than I had expected.

Or maybe it was that I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Whenever he came within killing range, I just couldn't do it.

"Stop being merciful with me, Gold saint!"- Albior cried, his chains winding around my arm, pulling me out of my combat stance.

I smiled ironically, my mouth forming words I did not want it to. -"Do you honestly think you could fight me if I didn't?"- The blue eyes flared in anger as he heard me, the chains tightening their grip.

I just laughed and struck him down with a wave of energy.

His pupils gasped in fear as my power grew until it engulfed most of the Isle, wreaking havoc wherever it touched. Rocks crumbled, cliffs cracked open, and still Albior did not give up.

And still I could not kill him.

I saw him glance once or twice towards his pupils, clearly torn between fighting me and helping them escape.

"You are looking away!"- I cried, leaping onto him, still not delivering the final blow. Albior, tired and unprepared, was barely able to dodge me, landing at an odd pose, chains taut and sparkling with blue hues.

Seeing him like that, fighting on and on, even knowing he could not win.... I wondered if I was really doing the right thing.

These were direct orders from my Goddess, but....

Albior glanced towards a blonde female saint, his eyes reflecting worry and fear; for her.

Those eyes....

I clenched my teeth, trying to focus and regain my inner calmness. But I couldn't go back to what I was, could I? I was tainted, no longer the perfect killer....

I let out a cry of fury, an anger an hatred deeper than I had ever known gave me strength. Anger and pain that were directed at myself. For begin weak. For not being able to fulfil that which was my duty.

I had to get a grip, I was a saint.

And I was doing what my Goddess had asked me to.

What Athena had asked me to do.

I gathered my cosmo, grasping the few receding tendrils of coldness I could feel in my heart and leapt forward. If I could not bring myself to do this as an assassin then I would do it because I was a saint. A Gold saint at the orders of Lady Athena.

At least there would be honour in my duty.

I felt my power growing inside of me, a burning, searing white-hot pinpoint of energy. I called it unto my hand, feeling my fingernail become a long sharp needle. Albior expanded his unwavering blue aura to defend himself, his chains going around him in frantic circles, trying to block me out.

He was a brave warrior, if a traitor. So he deserved a honourable death, like any saint with such a cosmo as his.

I decided to keep on hammering at his defence a bit longer, until he dropped it and faced me completely. But suddenly, and for no apparent reason, his perfect shield wavered and so did he.

I had meant my blow to hit his protective barrier, yet before I had time to understand what had happened.

Albior stood in front of me, eyes wide, my hand embedded in his chest.

I stared at him, trying to understand what had happened.

His eyes bore into mine, shinning with surprise and... pity?

Pity!

I took my hand away, and watched his body crumple, falling in a soundless heap onto the cold stone grounds.

Behind us I heard the cry of grief and rage of the few children that had survived the backlash of our fight.

But I didn't pay attention to them, their cries went on unheeded.

All I could see was Albior's fallen body, looking so much like Blood had looked when he died. So... empty.

But even worse than that... was the alien yet unmistakable red rose that lay by his limp body.

I breathed in deeply, fighting back a thousand painful emotions I did not understand. There had been no honour in this fight... nothing fair...

Nothing fair...

I hadn't been able to give Albior the death he deserved, nor had I completed my duty. Someone else had had to come and finish things for me. Who had sent Aphrodite?

Athena?

The Kyoko?

The Kyoko....

I turned away, sick to my very soul, and teleported to Sanctuary.

Strange...

I have done what I wanted, but I am not happy. Your cosmo trembles with rage and confusion, you can no longer trust your self. Believe me my child, I know that feeling.

Even now I can hear the ghostly laugh of him who is also me, and I know that he thinks he has won.

Maybe he has.

But you are safe... my love...

Broken beyond repair, too hurt to be able to gather yourself together again.

But I did it because I love you.

If you die... if you die, then you will be free from all of this.

You will never know the truth, never know all the lies I told you. All the lies I have told myself.

Myself...?

Who am I really, child? I thought I knew it, and when I held you in my arms I was sure I knew it. But now I'm not so sure... now I am afraid.

I can hear him laughing my child, and I know that he has won. I cannot let go of these robes, nor can I take off this mask. I am bound to this lie as you are to your memory of me. I cannot go back to being Saga any longer, I have gone too far into this game. And worst of all, I cannot have you back

I live everyday knowing that I will never feel you touch, not taste your lips again. And I live everyday knowing that you still love me, and that I cannot be with you.

And.... event though I tell myself time and time again that it is because I love you... I know that that too, is a lie...

Milo:

I appeared in my temple, feeling a cold sweat trickle down my spine. Anger was a living clawing beast inside of me, demanding I go up to the Kyoko and force him to explain this to me. To tell me why he had humiliated me so. To find out why hasn't he had enough, if he had Saga when I could not.

I clenched my fists and punched the nearest pillar, feeling stone crunch under my hand... like Albior's chest...

I closed my eyes, shaking my head to get rid of that image; of Albior, dead, lying in a pool of blood, defeated without honour. Of my fight... a victory that felt like a defeat.

I called my cloth off and slumped against the cold pillar, feeling completely drained. Was there really a point in all of this? Was Athena really so just? How could she be, if she had sent me to kill a man like Albior?

How could she be, if she had someone like Shion as her earthly representative?

Had Blood known all of this? Was that why, when I had leapt unto him and delivered the final blow...he smiled?

He had smiled at me, almost as if he was thankful for my killing him.

Did Camus know it? Was that what he found out, when he became a saint?

That the Goddess of love and justice was nothing of the likes?

I opened my eyes, seeing the looming temple all around me, so cold.

But who was I to judge? When the time came to choose I chose to obey, and to wonder about my decision after I had finished.

I was just as bad.... if not worse.

But... long ago, I had once believe in love....

(When you love something, fight for it. Let it know you love it, and never... hear me, never turn your back on it. Make every moment last, and love to the very limit of your heart, and beyond)

I had given Saga everything, let him have me, body and soul, I never denied him anything and I let him know that I loved him. Always. But he had gone back to his previous lover.

I had been a mere fancy.

A toy.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a shuddering sigh.

Ahhhh...

My child, I feel your power and I can hear laughter.

Have I at last won? Have I killed you?

Broken you enough for you to die?

He is laughing my child, laughing so very, very hard....

These two sides of me are too closely linked for me to know who is who by now. I have been lying to myself for so long I cannot remember when I started.

The truth is... my dear child, that I do love you.

But the things I did, may not have been for love.

Perhaps, all this time I have been telling myself this lie, because it makes me feel more human.

I feared it, I feared your rejection and your hatred.

I did not want anybody to know the truth about me, especially not you.

So I chose to break your heart instead of telling you the truth.

I am a coward.

"Milo.... It's over."- He turned to me, violently, his eyes going wide. For a moment he just stood there, like a fearful animal, thinking it had heard gunfire somewhere. Then he breathed in, swallowing convulsively.

"What...?"- His voice was barely a whisper, so faint I had to strain my ears to hear him.

"It's over."- And then I faced him completely, letting him see my eyes.

Letting this other side of me project an emotion I did not feel. Putting a mask over my face, to show hatred when I felt love.

Milo paled visibly, taking a step back, as if he had received a fatal blow. His eyes searched mine, filled with a tremulous light, then darted away, to fix on the floor, back on my face and finally closed. His lips trembled, as if trying to say something he did not know.

Then his eyes opened and he was staring at me, breathing agitatedly.

"Why...? Saga... What's wr...."- I cut him off, forcing myself to ignore the pain in his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong, I just don't love you. I never did."- Milo closed his eyes again as that sunk in.

"You said you did."- There was an uncertain waver in his voice. So... Scorpio is proud and strong, and utterly in control... but they love too deeply, and that is an easy weakness to strike at.

"I am Gemini child, there is a lot you never see about us."- I smiled and added a haughty air to my voice.

Milo clenched his teeth and let out a shaky breath.

"Never, you say? Even after all that we..."- He could not go on.

"No, never. Did you really think I could fall in love, with something... like you?"- He flinched at the disgust in my voice.

Inside of me, I heard the deep laughter I had grown to hate and fear... and accept.

This was, I realised, the last time I would have him so close to me. But I preferred it this way; anything as long as he never knew how evil I really was. That I was the only true traitor. I who had tried to kill the Goddess.

"So it was true? That you were always with Shion... ?"- Ahh, it was so easy to place the blame on someone else, so I did.

"Yes."- He bowed his head, and bit his lip.

"That is all, then?"- His voice sounded so broken, as if I had killed him.

I wanted to kill him, didn't I?

"Yes, and I don't want to see you again. At least not for a long time."- He looked up suddenly, and his eyes shone with a new determination. All the pain there overwhelmed me, and the hatred....

But no for me.

No...

For Shion.

For taking me away from you.

Foolish child.

"You won't."- He replied, and turned his back to me, walking away.

Not a single tear.

I watched him, knowing I had lost the only person who would ever truly love me, and felt my lips curve into a smile.

"There are many things about us you never find out..."- I murmured, knowing he could not hear me.

And I felt, through all the pain, a joy so great I laughed.

As long as he never knew. As long as he remembered me the way he knew me, I was content.

So you see child, that is the truth.

I love you as much as I will ever love. But us Gemini love in may ways, and mine is a devastatingly selfish one. That day, I rejected you because I wanted to protect you, and myself.

You will die a happier death not knowing what kind of monster I am. Not knowing the true nature of the creature to whom you whispered words of love, to whom you surrendered all you body.

And all you heart.

You are Scorpio, child.

You have lived as such, and it his high time you died as one too.

Soon there will be war all over us, and by then you will be too unsure to win. You cannot go back to what you were, nor can you go on with this pain you feel. There is no point in your life any longer but to defend your Goddess.

And we both know, my child, that duty will never be enough to hold you in one piece.

So you will die.

The laughter in my mind is so loud it's deafening, still I can feel tears in my eyes.

And I hate myself, for letting you love me, for if you hadn't, there would have been no reason for all of this.

I hate you too, for letting me love you, for giving me this pain.

I wish you had fallen for someone else, someone who could give you the all the love you deserved, someone who could make you whole. But you didn't, child.

You didn't.

Milo:

"It is done."- I looked up at the dull blue mask, seeing nothing behind the opalescent red glass that hid his eyes. A face I had learned to hate, even though I had never quite seen it. These were the features I hated, for

Shion's true looks I had yet to lay my eyes on.

It was odd, to realise all of a sudden that if I ran into him, and he was unmasked, I would not recognise him.

"Albior is dead then."- The deep voice seemed amused, but no smile could be seen through such a mask.

"Yes lord."- I answered, keeping my face completely expressionless, even though the images flooded my mind. Of Albior's empty blue eyes, fixed on nothing, like Blood's. The way they had both lain on the cold unforgiving ground, from where they would be taken and nothing would remain there to remind anybody of their existence.

And I remembered Blood, sitting on a rock, dreaming of things unspoken. Seeing a in simple flower bed things I could not. And I remembered then that just as that small haven had been his refuge in life, it was in death. There I buried him, beside the large rock that became his tombstone.

And now no trace of him remained; flowers grew over the patch where he lay, and I never marked the stone to let anyone know that there was what remained of Blood.

And now it was nothing but flower bed, there was no one left to see it differently.

Save for me, and all I saw there was a grave.

"Lord?"- I asked, feeling the question weigh on my honour and my mind. The Kyoko straightened, clearly hearing me, and half knowing what it was I would ask.

"Yes, Scorpio Milo?"- Cold formality, to remind me that no matter what happened questioning his choices was equal to defying my Goddess.

But doubt was too far gone into my mind, and betrayals were nothing new to me.

"Pisces Aphrodite's intervention was not necessary."- I stated, speaking formally and carefully.

"Do you believe it to have been wrong?"- No smile could be seen but it could certainly be heard.

"There was no honour in such a killing."- I answered, dodging his obvious ploy to lead me to question him and thus Athena.

"Honour is not meant for traitors. And, I must say, assassins rarely trouble themselves with it either."- The insult was more than I could bear: I looked up, my eyes flashing dangerous red hues, the colour of blood and fire.

"I am a Saint."- The Kyoko did not move or accuse me of anything, he simply sat there, atop his throne like a frozen statue.

"Yes, so you are. And as such you have completed your task."- I gritted my teeth, unable to tolerate the way he played with my own words, weaving them in a way to win if not by reasoning then by mere semantics.

"The Pisces Saint had no need to intervene. It was dishonourable."- Shion nodded and laughed, mocking me.

"Precisely. As I said, honour is not meant for traitors."- I felt my blood go cold at that.

So, it had been a deliberate choice, to erase honour and decency. Let the traitor die as such, saint or not.

All for the sake of Athena.

And here lay my duty, until the day I died.

Was this why Blood had smiled when his life was torn from his body?

Was this why Shaka chose Godhood above humanity, denying that which he was in truth?

Was this why Camus trained children he himself would send out to die?

Because at the end all we had was our duty to Athena, and the only surcease from this sorrow lay in death?

And when we died not even out cloths would mourn us, just like mine had passed onto me without so much as a hint of hesitation, after Blood's death. As it would do with my successor in time.

The cold stone below our feet would receive the last warmth from our bodies but would leave no testimony of such.

I got up, bowed methodically and walked out of the temple at a brisk pace. I caught my breath only when I was out in the sunlight and the shadows that dwelled inside those doors could not reach me bodily. Those that lay in my heart could not be warmed any longer.

I stood at the edge of the stairs and looked at the Sanctuary, stretching below me with it's stone-cold temples and sun-burned sand. Below lay my destiny, to die fighting for this, for what it represented.

And never before had death seemed so sweet.

Love was nothing here, to us who must protect it. An unspoken taboo I had not been smart enough to see.

All those who loved would die.

All those who did not would too.

War was born and bred here, and here it would break out. I would fight then, an perhaps die then too.

So would Camus, and Shaka, and Shion; all of us would someday die.

Be it today or tomorrow.

And no one would remember us.

Memories left our cloths just like our warmth left the stone and our blood spilled from our bodies. Beyond that there was nothing else.

A bitter smile tugged at my lips, my eyes cold nonetheless.

Ahhh, the stinging irony of life! To be protected by something that could not care for us less, and to live protecting something for which we could not -or should not- care less.

To realise that both evil and good, love and hate, justice and injustice, all lead to death at the end.

I laughed out loud, feeling a pain too strong to be borne in my heart, seeing all the things that I had tried not to, until now.

And I walked back down to my temple... there seemed nothing else I could do.

And thus it ends, my child of blood and blossoms.

In your eyes hatred turned into surprise and then into understanding. And that was it.

Die now, my love.

Die and never know the truth.

Never know that I did love you, that I still do.

Never know that it was fear that led me to betray you, and that it is fear that leads me to kill you. Death's embrace awaits me just as it awaits for you. And now, we both yearn for it.

He is laughing, he knows he has won.

And all I can do now is surrender and let him do as he will, for he too, will die someday.

I am a coward.

I cannot face myself just like I cannot face you.

Maybe that was why I took back the words of love I gave you. That was why I denied them on the day I pushed you away from me. Event though they were true, how could they mean anything compared to the depth of love you gave me?

I look back on those times and wonder, if I had told you, would this be better?

Would you have loved me all the same, and helped me bear the weight of this laughter in my mind?

Such things I will never know. I chose this road and I will walk it for the rest of my life, just as you will walk the road I chose for you.

And I will love you, for the rest of my life and if possible beyond.

And this secret feeling is all the apology I can give you for all the pain I caused, even though you will not know it.

For I am not who you believe me to be, nor will I ever be.

My love.

"One word is too often profaned
  For me to profane it,
One feeling too falsely disdained
  For thee to disdain it;
One hope is too like dispair
  For prudence to smother,
And pity from thee more dear
  Than that from another.

I can give not what men call love,
  But wilt thou accept not
The worship the heart lifts above
  And the heavens reject not,
The desire of the moth for the star,
  of the night for the morrow,
The devotion to something afar
  From the sphere of our sorrow?"

By Percy Bysshe Shelley