May This Be Love
[Based on John Marshall's funny Vignette in Chicken Poop for the Soul.]
It happened on a street corner on L2. I had just transferred to the
colony from L5 and was walking home from my first day of work, which I
thought had gone amazingly well. It was beautiful out, the sun was
shining, the birds were singing, I could hear children all around me
laughing and having a fun time. Then I saw Him. A beautiful creature
that was more suited to play the role of a nymph in one of those Greek
mythologies than that of an ordinary mortal. He was all chestnut hair
and violet eyes, walking in the opposite direction from me. My heart
stopped. The Platters’ "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" kept playing in my
head. I was in love.
I would pass him almost every day on my walk home. Sometimes, for all
too fleeting moments, our eyes would meet, and he would coyly look
away. I could feel our souls connect in that brief eye contact. I could
stare forever into those infinitely deep violet eyes. I began to
cherish our moments together more and more as the weeks went by. Toward
the end of every day I kept glancing at my watch, ticking off the
seconds before I could see his beautiful heart-shaped face again.
Sometimes I would even close up the hotdog stand early and wait down
the street until I saw him appear over the horizon, a vision in black.
I would wait until I saw him before walking towards our corner.
Finally, one day, I decided to speak to him. As I saw him appear down
the street I straightened my white tunic and pants, which I had
painstakingly washed the night before in preparation for our meeting,
and walked towards him. I called upon all the courage I had.
"Excuse me," I said, "but I-"
"I’m sorry," he interrupted me with a huge, lopsided grin, "but I’m
really late. My husband’s gonna kill me if I don’t get back soon."
And then he was gone. My fey beauty, my street corner soul mate- he was
married. I was devastated. It felt as if some one had shattered my
heart into a million pieces and then gave it to their dog to chew on. I
didn’t know what I would do. I started walking on the other side of the
street. I started staying at work until after I knew he would be gone,
even though no one ever bought hotdogs from me after six p.m. But one
day I was standing there, handing a Supreme Weenie Special to some
little boy, when I had an epiphany. I realized how silly I had been all
this time. I had stopped loving him just because he wouldn’t love me.
My love for him had been entirely dependent on whether or not he would
love me back. True love is unconditional. True love isn’t when you
refuse to love some one just because he doesn’t return your feelings.
That wasn’t true love, it was narcissism. True love doesn’t require
anything in return. And this, I was sure, was true love.
So I decided to start our street corner rendezvous again. That day,
after I had taken care of my last customer, I raced to the corner. Sure
enough, he came into my vision, his rich, thick brown hair bound up in
his customary immaculate braid. Then he passed me by. So I turned and
followed him. He lived further away from the street corner than I had
anticipated, and sometimes I had a little trouble keeping up with him
through the crowds in the street and the subways. But I persevered. We
walked through the suburbs, and then he disappeared into a little blue
house with a white picket fence. I was happy. I was elated. My heart
wouldn’t stop racing. I turned around and went home.
I followed him home every day after that. After a few months I began to
stand across the street from his house after our evening walks. Just
being in the vicinity of his presence was a wonderful feeling. I know
that he didn’t love me. I could see how he felt about his husband every
night through their bedroom window. But it didn’t matter. I didn’t
care. Don’t you see? Any one can love some one who loves them back. My
love was deeper than that.
One cold and rainy day he saw me through his living room window. He
opened the door to his house and started walking up to me, clutching a
black umbrella with little yellow smiley faces on it. I raised my hand
to my head to make sure my ponytail was nice and tight, knowing that
the rain had probably taken out some of its perkiness. Then he was
right in front of me, close enough that if I reached out to him I could
touch him. He started to speak. "Please leave."
My heart skipped a beat. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my
life. He cared about me! He didn’t want me to catch a cold out in the
rain. My heart swelled up with love. I kept coming back, every single
day. One day, his husband came out. He was a skinny brown-haired boy
with prussian blue eyes. He glared at me. I glared back. This was just
a test of my love. He punched me. And kept punching me. For such a
skinny guy, he was really strong. With every punch I realized how
strong my love was, to withstand such a beating.
I didn’t even flinch when the police came. As if the red tape and
bureaucracy of the government could hold back true love. I was not so
weak as to be deterred by them. And that weak onna judge actually
thought that a restraining order would keep me away from my beloved. If
she were really just she would see that a little piece of paper could
not restrain my love. So I kept coming back. And was arrested. It was
hard, being separated from my love for those few weeks. Every night I
would lay on my cot and think of the day we would no longer be
separated. For him, I would survive these weeks of loneliness. After my
release I went back to him.
I was a little scared the first time he fired at me. Not scared because
I thought he might kill me, but scared because I saw the wild fire in
his eye. For the first time in our relationship, I questioned our love.
Was I in love with a crazy man? But then I realized that it didn’t
matter, that I would love him no matter what his flaws.
True love is unconditional. True love is eternal. True love will
withstand anything, be it the test of time, tragedy, or distance. That
is what I keep telling myself, now that they’ve locked me in this
hospital. This has been my hardest test so far, but then I remember
him, his beautiful blue-violet eyes, his charming, lopsided smile, and
I remember how much I truly love him. I dream of him. It is what gets
me through each day. The dream that one day, I will finally be able to
return to him.