Chapter 1 “AJ, How do I look?” Isis asked, twirling around. She looked so beautiful. AJ quickly wiped the tear that was threatening to fall. “Wow, Isis. You look, so grown up.” AJ said. And she did. He couldn’t believe that Isis was going to get married that day. She was 22 years old in Law school. She had chosen law school mainly because the drunk driver that had killed her father, was set free with only 2 of 8 years served. She wanted to prosecute those who killed innocent people like that. Her father was an amazing man, and it’s horrible that he’s died. And as I watcher her twirl happily, I couldn’t help but remember when she first became my responsibility. ‘Flashback’ AJ shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be at home downing all the alcohol in his house. His best friend in the world was dead. AJ was very thankful for the sunglasses on his face, so they could hid the red puffiness of his eyes. Jane Carter could be heard crying down the other side of the table. He wished the Lawyer to hurry up and get here so we can read Nick’s will and all go home. Nick. Just thinking of his name made AJ want to start crying again. Nick had died, a little over 2 weeks ago in a car accident. The news had devastated not only the other 4 guys and Nick’s family, but the entire world. “To my mother, Jane Carter I leave....” The Lawyer babbled on. AJ wasn’t paying attention until he heard his name mentioned. “To AJ, I leave my most precious treasure, my daughter Isis.” The lawyer said. Gasps were heard all around the room. “wh-what?!” Brian said, disbelief heard in his voice. “you must have read that wrong.” AJ stood up and walked over to the lawyer. To read it himself. “To AJ, I leave my most precious treasure, my daughter Isis.” AJ read out loud. At that moment the door opened and there stood 5 year old Isis. Chapter 2 I walked out of the dressing room to get a drink. I couldn’t believe that she was now moving on and out of my house. Even when she went to college she had chosen a school nearby our house. “AJ, You did a wonderful job.” Brian said behind me, scaring me. “Geez Brian, Trying to give me a heart attack?” I said, laughing and giving him a hug. “I’m amazed AJ. You were the last person in the world who I’d think anyone, especially Nick to chose you as guardian of any kid. But you pulled it off. And did and excellent job.” Brain told me. I could feel the tears in my eyes threaten to fall. I was absolutely 100% not ready to raise a child, especially one who was emotionally unstable because of the death of her father. ‘flashback’ We sat in the living room. That’s all we’ve done. Her grandmother Jane Carter had dropped her off an hour ago and now we sit here. Her on the sofa, me in the lounger recliner across from her, staring at each other. I decided to try to strike up a conversation. “So, Isis.” I started. She sat up straight and continued staring at me. I couldn’t think of anything to say. “Would you like something to eat?” I asked her. She just continued staring at me. I've been involved in her life one way or another since she was born. We had even dyed our hair green together. Nick was not happy about that. Isis and I were close, but now it felt as if we were strangers. “I wanna take a nap.” She said so quietly, as a whisper. “Ok.” I said. I got up and grabbed her little suitcase and we went upstairs. I opened the second door to the left and felt my heart sink . The room was plain and bare. Not suited for a child. I made a mental note to redue the room very soon. Isis looked around at it. A tear was in her eye, stubbornly not falling. And it was then that I realized why I picked this room. This was the room Nick and Isis always stayed in when they Stayed in Orlando. I had even named it the Kaos room, and put a sign next to the door. “Isis, you can have any room in the house.” I told her, feeling stupid for opening this door. “NO, I’ll take this one.” She said going and crawling in toe bed. I decided to leave her alone, but once I reached the stairs I heard the unmistakable sound of Isis crying, and her heart breaking to pieces. Chapter 3 I was sitting at the table with the guest book. Just sitting there. Thinking. It had just recently dawned on me that this is it. Isis will no longer be a child, my responsibility. And it scared me a little “Hello AJ.” A females voice said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Jane Carter standing in front of me. “Hello Jane. It’s good to see you.” I told her. I had rarely seen her over the course of the 17 years Nick had been dead. She was fairly angry when I had gotten custody of Isis. Afraid she was of me taking Isis away Permantley. But I couldn’t do that. I wanted to know her grandmother, as well as remember her father. “flashback.” I took my keys out of my pocket and unlocked the door. Isis slowly opened it and turned on the light, a slight gasp escaping her lips. Inside the room was everything of The Backstreet Boys that was mine. After Backstreet boys ended after Nicks death, I packed up everything and crammed it in a larger room in the basement. I didn’t want it to remind Isis of Nick and hurt her. But once she went threw the stuff at her house with Nick, she grabbed almost everything she could of Nicks stuff and crammed it into her 2 rooms (A.N. Bedroom and play/work room) Including everything in his bedroom “Wow, Look a this stuff.” Isis giggled and dived right in, picking up awards to look at, reading concert reviews, and even some fan mail. I just sat in a chair and watched. Until all sounds of papers ruffling ceased as she sat there and stared at a picture. I walked over to her to see what she was looking out. My heart ached when I saw it was a picture of Nick and I, Before the Backstreet Boys. “AJ.” She said silently. “can you tell me about my father. It’s been so long. I don’t even remember what he’s like.” I sighed silently to myself, deciding, what to do, and what to say. “Come with me Isis.” I said to her, barely above a whisper. Chapter 4 We sat in the living room, waiting for the tape to start. I figured the best way to start is to have her watch one of the many tapes the guys and I have made over our many journeys around the world. Nicks face filled the screen and his voice came out over the speakers. I could hear a sob come from Isis as she heard her fathers voice. “This is the story of 5 guys living together on a very small f*cking tour bus for 6 months. You will be taken aback once you see us stop being nice, and kicking each others @sses. This is our real world. Backstreet style.” Nick said into the camera “Nick, If you don’t put that camera down I'm going to kick you @ss right now instead of waiting.” Kevin’s voice was heard off screen. Nick rolled his eyes and whispered “AHHH, Kevzilla is about to take over. Gotta go.” The camera went blank. And Isis laughed. We continued watching the tape for a couple more hours, till the last scene popped up. It was of Nick, on his boat holding a 5 year old Isis. They were sitting, staring at the sunset on the water, Nick was singing a song softly into Isis’s ear: Deep in my soul Love so strong It takes control Now we both know The secret’s barred The feeling shows Drifting far apart I make a wish On a shooting star There will come my day Somewhere far away In your arms I’ll stay My only love Even though your gone Love will carry on The feeling is so strong My only love There will come my day somewhere far away in your arms Ill stay My only love You’ve reached the deepest part Of the secret in my heart I’ve known it from the start My only love My only love Copyright Sailor Moon The tape ended at the end of the song. I turned to Isis. She was shaking slightly. I pulled her over to me and embraced her tightly, as tears fell quickly down both our eyes. Chapter 5 “are you nervous?” Kevin asked me. Sitting down next to me. “About what?” I replied. “about walking Isis down the Aisle.” He said I sat there and thought about that. I was a little nervous It shouldn’t be me walking her down the Isle. It should be Nick. I felt like I was replacing him. And I didn’t want to do that. But as Isis said in her graduation speech. That life is mysterious and there is a reason for why thing turn out the way they are. “flashback’ I sat in the back watching Isis on stage. She had made valedictorian. I couldn’t have been more proud of her, then at this moment. The students clapped and hollered as she walked up to the podium to give her speech. She paused for a moment before speaking. “Life is a mystery. And is also an adventure. Life deals us out good hands, and sometimes deals to us bad hands. But either way, it is up to only you on how to use the cards dealt to you. To make the best of the bad. Life is not easy. No matter how good or how bad, everything happens for a reason. It may not look like that at first, but later, you will realize why it happened. I lost my father, when I was 5. He was only about 21, 22 years old. He was a great great man, whose love for life and music helped others and was loved by others all around the world. But all that was taken one night, when he was hit by a drunk driver and killed. I was so angry and so frustrated. I didn’t know what to do. But thinking back on that now, I realize that It made me a better, stronger person. That life is precious, and I must live it to the best fulfillment that I can, because any day, it can be taken from me, if I'm ready or not. The anger I felt, and the sadness, I put all into my school work and others things for others. Because of that, it made me realize that to be a better person, I need to help those who need help. Next fall, I'm going to law school, so I will have more political power to help those who have been wronged. I found my drive, my passion, my reason for life at a young age. I’m my fathers daughter, and I will do my best to follow in his success to help others and do the right things. Just look inside yourself and you too will find your drive, passion of meaning of life, and ambition to succeed, in anything and everything you dream and hope.” She finished. The crowed was silent for a few minutes. I started clapping, followed by the people near me, and soon soaring threw the whole crowed, till everyone was standing. On stage, Isis wiped her tears away and smiled. Chapter 6 I looked at my watch to notice that the wedding was to begin in 15 minutes. I looked around, making sure everyone was here. I hadn’t seen Howie for a while. I went’ around and asked if anyone had seen him. Kevin and Brian volunteered to help me. I looked out the window in the west and had found Howie, standing at the foot of a grave n the cemetery. My heart sank, knowing whose it was. Kevin, Brian, and I went out to Howie. “Hey Howie.” I said approaching him and putting my hand on his shoulder. “Hey Guys.” He replied quickly wiping his tears away. I looked at the head stone before me, feeling my own tears fall from my eyes. Nickolas Gene Carter January 28th 1980-June 21st 2001 A loving son, and a loving father. Rest peacefully We all stood there in silent. The pain of his loss was to great for me. I couldn’t bring myself to come here. The closest I've come to this grave was the outside gate, when I brought Isis to see it. 17 years. I haven’t been here. Not since we had buried him.... ‘flashback’ The pastor rambled on about the traditional mumbo jumbo in the Bible. It was a bleak gray day out. Not raining, though the air was hot and muggy. there were about 100 people there. Including MTV and Carson Daly. They were doing a Special live TRL at Nick’s Funeral. But instead of playing videos they were showing the entire funeral, with fans comments and thoughts running at the bottom. The last report was about 100,000 fans standing outside the cemetery's gate. I was angry. I wanted them to all go home and leave us to mourn in peace. But another part of me was glad. Glad that so many people loved and cared for Nick one way or another. For a few moments that feeling of happiness engulfed me. Until I looked across the way from me, on the other side of Nicks black coffin. Isis was standing there, her head bowed as if in prayer, one hand on the coffin. I couldn’t even imagine what it was like for her. She had lost both parents. This was also the first time the world found out about Isis, and seeing her. It was Nick’s wishes that she not be in the spotlight. So she can at least have some of her childhood in private. But now all that is gone. And I wonder, what would become of her. Chapter 7 We all had tears in our eyes. Our best friend was gone, and even now, 17 years later, it continued to hurt. “Here you guys are.” A females voice said behind us. I turned around to see Isis, in her wedding dress. She did look beautiful. The dress complemented her deep blue ocean eyes. They looked just liked Nicks. and often threw the years I’d turn my eyes away from her. She looked so much like Nick that it hurt at times. She walked up and stood next to me. Staring at her fathers grave. Staring at the headstone, she began to talk . “I miss my father deeply. I wish he was here more than anything.” She said, she turned to me. “but I'm glad that if I had had anyone raise me, I’m glad it was you. I’m glad that my father trusted you. And I love you, like a second father. “ Tears were freely falling from my eyes again, as I embraced her tightly. “Lets go get you married.” I said. WE turned to leave “Wait.” She said. She turned back to Nicks grave and squatted down. “ I love you daddy.” She whispered to the headstone, kissing it, then set her bouquet of flowers by it.