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Trust In Me Chapter 26 ***OK..Author's Note: before I go on....I have to thank my best friend, Mel, for helping me with �Trust In Me�. Without her, �Trust In Me� would be lacking some major qualities that help to make our beloved Backstreet boys truly larger than life. She has helped me to decide where certain storylines should be going. Mel, that Carter-filled mind of yours has helped me get out of so many writer's block situations...so thank you. Without her, "Trust In Me" could not be what it is. You have truly given me all you have to give! Back to the story.*** AJ slammed the door with a force he never knew he had. All his anger transferred to that violent shutting of the door. The closure of all the dealings with his father was getting to him. He was through, and he'd had enough of his father's games...showing up unexpected, leaving when he needed him the most, secretly finding out the address of the woman he loved in order to do god knows what....that was it...he could finally wipe his hands of his father. Then, if he was so ready to move on, why did he feel that pang. That pang of remorse and guilt and sorrow. That pang that stabbed him right in his heart the instant his father walked away, gone away from his life yet again. AJ moved away from the door, weak from his forgotten fury. His head spun, tears welling, brimming the edges of his eyes. Anna quickly encircled his quivering body with a comforting hug. Her embrace reminded AJ that she was there for him, always and forever. She whispered through his blond-tipped hair, "OH 'J, I�m here hunny. I'm sorry it had to be that way. AJ, I don't know what to say, all I can do I hold you and tell you that it will be alright..and it will baby. It will." He looked down into her dark chocolate eyes, and said between sniffles, "Thank you Anna. Thank you for being here. I don't know what I would do without you. Without these hugs to make me okay again. I simply don't know what I would do." "Well, you never have to worry about that, because I wanna love you forever. Trust in Me, 'J. Trust in me...I will always be here." ***In the Doctor's office*** "Hello Rebecca, Kevin. A number of doctors, myself included, have went over your chart. Now, I know that you originally came to see me for a annual checkup, but we have discovered something much more alertful from your visit." The doctor's tone was sincere, yet to the point, as if the words he were speaking would not have an enormous impact on Becca and Kev's future. Kevin tightened his grip over Bec's hand to let her know that he was there. He took a deep breath and silently recited another Hail Mary as the doctor continued. "The tests showed that you had a miscarriage only a few days ago." he said it simply and directly, damaging Bec with each word. Tears somehow lost in her devastation, she exclaimed, "I...I don't understand. How could I have lost a baby...I was...wasn't pregnant." Her whole body quivered. "How could I have lost a baby that I never knew I had?" She looked over at Kevin, who was now overwhelmed, breathing so heavily that it scared Rebecca. His hand supported his head, which had now become too heavy to sit up on its own. Thoughts swirled in his head. He tossed the ideas in his mind..."Bec said she wasn't pregnant, was she lying?...did she even know she was carrying my baby?...we only made love once....but that's all it would take," he reminded himself. Unable to comprehend she shut her eyes and waited for the doctor to continue. "The baby was only a week old, so underdeveloped that you may not have even known you were with child. Somehow, your body was not able, or ready to care for the growing egg, and caused you to miscarriage." Tears finding their way through the pain, she questioned, "I don't understand...how could I not know I miscarried...wouldn't I have noticed?" "Well, not necessarily. The egg was so tiny, it allowed to damagingly pass through your body as if you got your period. You would have had a considerable amount of pain, but initially, you probably believed it was due to the first few days of your period." Wiping away the flowing tears, "So you're telling me that what I thought was my period, was actually a miscarriage." "Basically, Yes." For the moment, Kevin stayed out of the conversation, shock and pain overwhelming his entire body. He had so many questions that were left unanswered. But one word of the doctor's explanation was particularly bothering him. 'Damaging'. "Excuse me, Doctor. Why did you tell Becca that it passed through her causing damage. What does that mean?" He was desperate, he wanted a bottom line. He had just lost an unborn child he never knew he had, his girlfriend, who he loved with every ounce of his heart, was nearing a breakdown, and this damn doctor was telling them the diagnosis in bits and pieces. He couldn't take it anymore. "Please...what the hell does that mean????!!!!!" Clearing his throat, he explained with hesitance, "Well, the unexpected miscarriage of a girl so young and healthy was abnormal. The miscarriage destroyed some of Rebecca's essential devices for ever carrying a baby to full term." All that escaped her mouth was a heartwrenching sob. Her worst nightmares had become a reality. Kevin gulped down every bit of pain, he would be strong for Becca...someone had to. "There's nothing you can do, Doctor?" Kevin asked with one last gleam of hope. "I'm afraid not Kevin. We've done everything we can. I'm sorry. Take as much time as you need. You can stay here to clam down, you shouldn't be driving in such a state..neither of you." the doctor nodded his head good-bye, cutting any last thread of hope that lingered. Kevin got up and put his arms around Becca. She buried her head in his strong shoulders and sobbed. He held her tighter and allowed his own tears to fall. Together, they comforted each other, their tears combining and creating a salty pool that could never be full again. ***At Howie's Hotel Room*** Howie starred at the phone, as if willing it to ring. "Damn, I miss her. Why don't I just call her...her voice is just seven digits away." he screamed aloud to no one in particular. "Oh god...I can't take it anymore!" he shouted releasing a sigh of relief. "There's no harm in seeing if she still thinks about me. And she does have my other ticket to the Billboards." He picked up his phone and begun to dial...2...2...0...1...2...8...5. ***At Mel's place*** Michelle danced (*Hey..I AM MSdance77...what do you expect?*) around the apartment, silently mouthing the words to "Larger Than Life". She was bouncing her head to the low rhythm, when she tapped Mel on the shoulder, "Let me speak to Brian when you're done with Nick." She assumed Mel had said yes, not really paying attention to the sad expression that lingered across Mel's face. Melanie hung up the phone suddenly, letting her portable fall to the floor with a crash. "Mel..I thought you were gonna let me talk to Bri---" She stopped mid-sentence when Michelle saw the look on Mel's face. "Oh gosh, what's the matter?" She said forgetting about wanting to speak with Brian as she rushed over to her side. "It's ok. Nothing major. Nick just can't take me to the Billboards." Her tone didn't sound as convincing as her words. "What?! What did he say?" Michelle asked confused. "He said that Liz has his other ticket. And she won't give it back to him. He said that he asked her, but she refused to give it to him. He says that she claimed that by not giving him the ticket, it'll make him pay for breaking her heart so harshly. He apologized and everything, and he said that he'd rather not go, and stay with me instead. But, the guys were counting on him to go, and the fans expected them to be there. He promised to make it up to me." "Oh, don't worry..." Michelle was searching for something to say..."I bet it'll be boring, you'll probably be glad that you didn't have to sit through all those thank you speeches that sound the same." She realized how stupid that sounded once it actually left her mouth. "Oh Mel, seating was probably really limited and i bet he tried really hard to get you another ticket. I�m sure they all aren't bringing dates." Michelle didn't know what to say. Ten minutes before they were laughing about what they would wear and how they would do their hair to the big event, now she was trying to convince Mel that it was gonna be a boring night...that's believable. She silently cursed herself for going on and on about how great it was that B-rok asked her to go. "I'm sure he did. You're right" She said trying her best to mask her sudden disappointment. "I'll just see him after the show." she forced a smile, and hoped Michelle would drop the subject. "So, how many pairs of shoes do you think I should bring when I go on tour?" she continued, her interest lost and her mood gone bad. ***At Anna's place*** "Anna sit down over here." AJ said, his voice regaining its usual seducing and content tone, as he patted the sofa, motioning for her to sit. She obeyed, happy to see that her hug did some good. She noticed his usual bright shine was reappearing in his eyes. He seemed ok, relieved somehow, but not all cured. "I was gonna save this for tonight, but then I was thinking...No, I'll do this now because tonight we have more important things to get to...and don't think I forgot about that." he said his smile turning into a seductive 'ya, you know what I mean' kinda grin. "Gee, I see that someone is doing a little better. Is sex all you ever think about Alexander James McLean?" she teased. "No, of course not darln'. I think of you and making love." She smiled her earth-shattering smile. Drawing his face in closer for a kiss. Before their lips met he added, "And of course there's food and music and..." He was silenced by her kiss. "Did I mention I can't wait for tonight? Anyway, I wanted to ask you to be my date to the Billboards. I know it's short notice, but I want you to be there, because I wanna be able to jump up and give you a hug and a kiss if we win." "When you win! And yes..of course AJ. You only like live with me when you're in NY. And I�m your steady girlfriend of almost a year. Why wouldn't I want to go?" "Well those awards shows get boring. I dunno?" "Come on 'J...gosh I�ve been waiting for months to see N*SYNC...you know how much I love them...." He swatted her with a pillow. "Anna....!" he wailed, deciding she deserved some extreme tickling for that little joke. "Ok Ok...stop AJ! I was kidding. Kidding...." She paused through her giggles. "I'm sorry..just kidding..AJ stop tickling..can't breathe!" He stopped, releasing her from his tickling grip, now on top of her on the couch. "Sorry just a little BACKSTREET humor! You know I wanna see YOU up there!" "That's better Anna, for a second, I thought I was gonna have to take back my ticket!!" He teased. "You wish Mr. AJ McLean. And now, thanks my dear...I�m gonna be late for work. I really got to go!!!" "Not so fast, did you really think you'd get away, especially in this position I might add, without a breath-stopping kiss?" "Well I dunno if I have time for breath-stopping, but give me your best shot Mr. McLean." He leaned in and without so much as a second thought, took her breath away. ***At the same time*** Kevin pulled into the spot across the street from Becca's apartment. Their drive from the doctor's office was long and silent. Neither of them knew what to say to each other. "Kevin, baby...you haven't said a word since we left the office." She sniffled. "Baby, say something!" her voice growing with a bit of anger. It was too much for her, the silence...she couldn't take it anymore. He was hurting. The news of the baby cut a hole in his soul that was unmendable. The words..he couldn't find them. But when he did, he forgot to run them by his brain first. "Bec..you want me to say something. Okay, I�ll say something. Or actually I�ll ASK something. Hunny, Why the HELL didn't you tell me that you thought you were pregnant???? I mean I could say that you never knew, because that's what I keep telling myself, but somehow that doesn't seem so realistic. How could you not know? And then there's the actual time that you looked me in the eye and SAID that you never thought you were pregnant. I mean, why would you say that, or even think that, if it wasn't on your mind? Tell me Becca, why was I the last one to find out that you were carrying my child????" His tone was sarcastic, mixed with his anger and pain of the situation, and continued to grow louder as he spoke. The tears streamed down her face yet again that night. She shoved the door open and ran out of the car, pausing for a sec before slamming the door. "Ya know what Kev...YOU'RE a BASTARD! Leave me alone!" Her words stung him. Piercing him, creating another tear in his heart. He never meant to hurt her. It was just that he was hurting so much. His own words circled in his head, mixing with her harsh words. He screamed it aloud, but no one was there to here, "I'm sorry! Baby I'm so sorry!" He cradled his head in his hands as he rested them against the steering wheel.Next: Chapter 27 |