If You Knew What I Knew by Claudia ([email protected]) Chapter 4 - Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely "Your medicine miss van Dijk." I looked up that the nurse and took my painkiller without saying a word. I missed him... very much, but no-one knew where he was and what had happened to him. Today I had been in hospital for a week and tomorrow the doctors were going to discuss my recovery. And if all was well I was to be released the same day. I tried to get a hold of him, but since I didn't even know his name they were unable to tell me where I could find him. I felt weird, empty, without him... without being able to talk to him... I had tried everything to find out where he was... but the hospital had these fucked up rules about their patients privacy... so I didn't know where they had taken him. I didn't even know if he was alright... And that made me feel so worried... and sad... like I had lost my soulmate without even really knowing who that person was... I was very glad that they had been able to save my leg though, I had been very lucky, if the beam would've been an inch higher on my leg they would've had to amputate it... Now I just had to limp around on crutches for a while, but I'll be fine, at least that's what they tell me... I called around but nobody had seen her... I was more important, at least that's what they tell me... I still can't remember much, I recognized my mom, who was right there with me in the helicopter when they took me to the clinic, but besides that everything was still very hazy. The doctors at the clinic had given me tons of medicine and were trying to get my memory back by different tests and methods, I had stuff to do they said, that's why they were in such a hurry. When I looked out of the window there were small vans parked outside the clinic and I would get blinded by flashes. My mom had told me I was famous... and that the world had been very concerned about me. I couldn�t care less about that right now.. I was too concerned myself to care... "Hey buddy... how's your head...?" I looked up at this guy who had entered my room. He wasn't dressed like the rest of the hospital staff and the look in his eyes told me that he expected me to recognize him... but I didn't... "Uh... okay I guess..." I mumbled and tried hard to remember who it was... just when I thought of giving up three more heads poked around the corner. "Hey Bone... can we come in?" This blond tall guy asked me and I shrugged. "Ssssure... why not... you seem to know me... so maybe you guys can refresh my memory a bit more..." A short dark haired guy with a curly pony tail walked in first and looked a bit uncomfortable. "So you're telling me that you really don't recognize us at all...?" Another dark but very tall guy asked me and I shook my head. "No... not really... sorry; I probably should huh?" I felt kinda guilty now; for all I know these guys could be my best friends... "We're in a band together... I'm Brian Tomas Littrell, you can call me B-Rok� or Frick if ya want..." the first guy told me. "I'm Howard Dwaine Dorough... Howie D. for short..." "Nickolas Gene Carter, Nick, or Frack for friends..." "And I'm Kevin Scott Richardson... and with you included we're the Backstreet boys..." he said and I felt like I was watching one of those tv introductions bands have to do every now and then they had probably had to say that a thousand times before... "So... I'm one of those guys that sing those wussy songs on the radio?!" My mother had told me that I was in a band and made me listen to different bands to see if I could recognize something in it... maybe even pick out my own band... but being a Backstreet Boy wasn't really something I had expected... The guys looked surprised. "Ah... yeah... you love those songs... especially the new album..." The guy called Howie said and handed me a copy of the CD and Nick handed me his portable CD player. "Listen to it and call us as soon as you recognize it... try and sing along... maybe that helps..." I sighed deeply, I didn't really expect my memory to return anytime soon... and I didn't think that a whole CD full of these sappy songs would be of any help either... "Can I come in?" Karen walked in with a big smile on her face when she saw me listening to the CD with a face clearly filled with disgust. Mom had introduced her to me as my girlfriend and I had to admit that she looked cute... brown hair all the way down to her ass, which was perfect as well... And beautiful blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled. "Sure, it's a welcome break from this... this... whining..." I replied and turned off the CD player. She just sat beside my bed for a while and then out of the blue I asked her: "How long have we been seeing eachother... I mean... how far are we into this relationship?" "About six months... so uh... we already went pretty far I guess..." she said and blushed a bit. "Oh... okay..." I mumbled and thought about Claudia, wondered what she was doing right now... "Maybe listening to this song helps... you sang it for me our uh... first night together..." she suddenly said and popped another CD in the machine... "This... this is me isn't it?" a song called "Lay down beside me" was playing and I had a couple of flashbacks in my head of the time we had been recording it, and of the first night me and Karen had spent together... "You're remembering something aren't you?!?" she looked surprised and happy... After that it all went so fast, my memory came back sooner that I expected and my mom made me move into her house for a while 'till my headaches were gone and my arm was coming out of the cast. Next: Chapter 5 -FanFics -Home