If You Knew What I Knew by Claudia ([email protected]) Chapter 21 - I Need You Tonight I missed her so much... It was worse than last time too, I mean, she had told me that she hated me... And that hurt... Brian had told me that she was still single, but when I asked Ellen she said that she was already dating again... I wish that I had told her about Karen right away... I just couldn't get myself to do anything this past month, we were having a while off before we were kicking off the first leg of the U.S tour. And all I had been doing was hanging around in my house or sleeping... The other guys couldn't stand it anymore and stopped bothering me... I was on my own now, wallowing in self-pity and I sank in more deeply everyday... I was walking up to this huge house which kind of reminding me of a little castle. I looked back at Brian & Ellen who winked and waved at me. He had picked us up from the airport and had just dropped me off at A.J.'s house and Ellen & him were now driving off to his place for some quality time together... I climbed up the stairs and rang the doorbell. It took him quite a while to answer it, I almost had given up hope when the door opened. "Hey, we need to talk..." I said before I actually noticed how bad he looked. He hadn't shaved in a while and his hair had actually gotten quite long since the last time I had seen him... "Hi... c... come in..." he mumbled and looked quite surprised. "Ahm, make yourself at home... there's some stuff I have to do first... go give yourself a tour of the house if you want... you could go bowling in the basement perhaps..." He said and I declined. "Nah, ever since the collapsed building thing I try to stay away from basements... I'll just go 'n wait in the living room... if you would be so kind to show me where it is located..." I joked and he showed me to the livingroom where two little barking dogs immediately ran towards me, wagging their tails. "Ah, you must be Panda & Bear... " I said stroking them and scratching them behind their ears. I looked up and around the room... I had to admit that his loud & confident personality fitted his taste... Red, white & black interior, even a red-velvet pooltable and a black and white zebra chair... I wondered if the whole house was like this, but when I glanced out the window I suddenly knew for sure. The guy even had a guitar shaped pool for crying out loud! I sat down in one of the red-velvet chairs and waited for him while playing with the two Shih Tzu puppies... 'I look like shit...' I thought to myself while standing in front of the bathroom mirror. I had just finished shaving and I had cut myself several times because normally it would take me about half an hour and now I was trying to do it in under ten minutes... I waited until the bleeding finally stopped, put some aftershave on and returned to the livingroom. She sat there waiting, with Bear in her lap, while Panda ran towards me almost wagging his tail off. I picked him up and sat down in the chair beside hers. My heart was throbbing in my throat by now, the last time I had seen her was almost three months ago... 'that's a quarter of a year' I thought and swallowed hard. "So... ahm, how've you been?" That sounded stupid... Damn, I just didn't know what to say to her now... I had acted so stupid that I just didn't know what to say to her to put things right again... "So... ahm how've you been?" He said and he looked very uncomfortable... I had been right; I shouldn't had come here, but Ellen had pushed me right into it... again... "Maybe I shouldn't had come here..." I voiced my thoughts and he looked at me with a sad look in his eyes... "Maybe... I am glad you came though..." he sounded very hoarse and it made me shiver. "Maybe I should go..." I got up from the chair after I had put the dog on the floor again and he got up as well. "Please stay... we really need to talk it over..." then all of the sudden the expression on his face changed and a little smile appeared. "How did you get here?" "Bri' took me... He 'n Ellen are uh... making up for lost time over at his place..." I said and he smiled. "That means that you actually can't call B-rok(tm) just yet because him 'n Ellen will get pretty pissed off at you huh? So actually you have no choice but to stay here for a few hours..." It was good to see him smile again, it kind of worked infectious and soon we both sat down again. What exactly followed after that is hard to describe. At first it was quiet for a while... but then all of the sudden we started talking, and continued talking 'till very late at night. He told me everything about him and Karen and I realized I had been wrong to blame him for it. He didn't want to hurt us and that's why it took him a while to break up with her. "So you let her down easy?" I asked him and he sighed. "Yes... I did... we're still friends, she actually wished me luck at getting you back into my life again." This was true, Karen had felt that things after the amnesia had finally passed just weren�t the same between them anymore and she found herself loving him more as a friend than a lover. She had told him this right before he had been wanting to tell her about the feelings he had been starting to develop for me... After a long night of talking I got up and asked him if I could use his phone... "C'mon Claudia... please stay here tonight... the house is big enough... I mean... you don't HAVE to sleep in my bed if you don't want to..." I said while getting up myself and walking up to her. "Are you sure that you don't mind?" She still looked in doubt. I softly stroked her hair and leaned in for a very careful and tender kiss... "Stay the night Claud'... we have a lot of catching up to do..." She let out a deep sigh and kissed me back. "What kind of catching up are we talking about here McLean?" She had a naughty gleam in her eyes and kissed me again, this time in my neck. "Hmmm, seems you got ideas about that yourself..." I muttered and enjoyed the feeling of her soft lips and warm breath teasing my earlobe, it actually made me shiver... "I do... I first would like a tour of the house though... 'cuz you are livin' laaaaaarge!" she said teasingly and made me smile. "Will do miss... follow me... where would you like to start?" I said and secretly hoped that she'd say the bedroom... The End... or has it just begun? -FanFics -Home