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If I Don't Have You Chapter 3 Kierstan sat straight up in her bed. Sweat rolling down her face, trying to keep the scream from escaping her lips. She looked back towards the bed for AJ, but he wasn�t there. "AJ?" She whispered. He wouldn�t just leave me here, would he? She got out of bed and wrapped her robe around her, making her way down the stairs. "AJ, are you down here?" Kierstan poked her head in the den and saw that not only was AJ there but so were the rest of the guys, and Vivian. The box of letters in the middle of the room. Vivian�s eyes were red with tears, fear spread across her face. "Oh God K�" She began and finished it with a hug. "Why didn�t you tell me sweetie?" "I just couldn�t Viv." The guys all sat in silence, not knowing what to say to her. No one knew she had been going through anything like this. She played it off well over the last six months. But it had just been too much, and the idea of someone hurting AJ had taken the last bit of strength she had. Finally, keeping him safe had been the only thing she cared about and she had ended it. While the dream had been bothering her, it was nothing compared to the other nightmares she had been having. AJ stood from his place on the couch and made his way to her. He pulled her into his arms and held her for a moment. How much she needed that at this moment he could never know. Pulling away he kissed her softly on the forehead. "Did you sleep any better last night?" She smiled up at him with knowing eyes. "You know I did." Well, she had until he had gotten up. "What time is it anyway." "A bit past noon." "Jesus, you let me sleep that long." "Kierstan, when�s the last time you actually slept at all?" She looked down at the floor and shook her head. That she couldn�t remember. She walked over to the couch opposite the one Kevin and Howie were sitting on. "You know, you guys don�t have to be so�so damn quiet. I�m not gonna break or anything." Still no one said anything. "Goodness kids, I�ve never seen you like this. Ya want food or something." "Oh yeah food would be GREAT!" Kierstan rolled her eyes. "Nothing like the mention of food to get a man talking. But I do believe that you guys know where the kitchen is. I�m going to get the mail." "I�ll go with you." "AJ, its just to the end of the driveway. I think I can manage." He shook his head. "Nope, I don�t care if it�s on the front porch. I told you already. You go no where without me. Not until this lunatic is behind bars." "Kierstan?" "Yeah?" "I just want you to know how much we love you, all of us. And no matter what, we will do anything it takes to help okay." Kierstan stood up and hugged Brian. "Thank you. But I�m fine really." Vivian and AJ rolled their eyes at one another. She always had to be in control of the situation, and when she wasn�t she convinced herself she was. Kierstan never let anyone see how weak and fragile she really was at times. The night before had been a rare occasion. And she wasn�t about to let on to anyone else see how terrified she was. She wished AJ didn�t even know. "Okay everyone stop looking like your dog just died okay. Everything is going to be FINE. Now if my bodyguard would please escort me to the mailbox�" The couple made their way silently down the driveway. AJ watched her intently through his sunglasses. She really was beautiful. God, if anything happened to her�he stopped his thoughts there. Not allowing them to go any further. The very idea of it made him weak and uneasy. They had to catch this guy. If I ever got my hands on him� "AJ�hello�AJ�" Kierstan interrupted his thoughts. "Sorry." "Daydreaming about your other girlfriend I guess." She teased. "That�s not funny Kierstan, not now." "Lord, you people gotta take everything so seriously. Do you wanna open the mailbox and check for bombs or do you think its okay for me to do it?" "This isn�t funny K, you need to stop acting like it is. This is serious." "Yeah, so do want to or do you want me to?" He only looked at her. Not believing this was the same weak, scared little girl that had collapsed in his arms last night. Why did she always have to put up such a front, even for him? She opened the mailbox and a single gasp left her lips and all the color drained from her face. "AJ.." She looked up to him, her eyes once again filled with nothing but fear. Kierstan reached in the mailbox pulling out a single black envelope. She handed it to AJ. "I can�t. You�do it." He took the envelope from her hands and pulled her to him. He held her close for a while before they made their way back into the house. When Kierstan and AJ walked into the kitchen all the laughter and conversation ceased as the group looked up at their faces. AJ threw the envelope onto the table and everyone sat in silence just staring at it. No one knew exactly what they should do. Finally Nick picked it up. "So are we gonna open it, or should we just throw it away?" Everyone looked to Kierstan for the answer. As much as she wanted to just throw it away she still needed to know what was in it. "Go ahead and open it." A few minutes later the group was once again in the den. Nick had opened the envelope and found a cassette tape. They now were sitting around Vivian�s tape deck waiting to hear what was on it. "Kierstan, are you sure you want to hear this?" She looked at AJ and nodded. "Go ahead. Press play." Kierstan moved closer to AJ on the couch and he held her tightly as Kevin pressed play on the tape player. Oh Kierstan. What's going on? It must have been pretty bad for you to break up with me. You know you can tell me anything, don't you? I'm not buying this line about the dream. I believe you did have the dream and seeing it start to come true would freak anyone, but it's not the reason that you broke up with me and you and I both know it. K, please, tell me what it is. I love you. Wake up, baby and tell me what's made you do this. Everyone sat mouth ajar and speechless as they listened to the conversation that had taken place the night before. Kierstan sat sobbing into AJ chest as he tried his best to comfort her. This was too much, this sicko had heard everything from the night before. The most intimate details of their lives being played back for them. "You feel that? It beats for you. If something happened to you, this would stop beating. We're gonna find out who is doing this, and we are gonna put him in jail where he belongs. More importantly, you aren't leaving my side from this moment on." "Please, Kevin, turn it off." He reached up and turned the machine off. "K, are you okay?" She looked up from AJ�s chest, her eyes red and wet with tears and shook her head. Then she got up off the couch and slowly made her way up stairs to her bedroom. Vivian looked at her friends, "This is so unreal. I can�t believe this is happening. And I can�t believe she�s been living this for six months by herself. But she doesn�t need to be up there alone, AJ. Do you wanna go or do you want me to?" "I think maybe she needs you right now Viv." She nodded and went up to check on her friend. When she had left the room AJ went into the kitchen to get the envelope. "What else was in here Nick?" "Some pictures, and a note I think." Vivian knocked on Kierstan�s door. "K, sweetie, can I come in?" There was no answer so Viv cracked the door to peak in and see if she had maybe fallen asleep or was in the bathroom. There was no sign of Kierstan. She walked in the room and then into the bathroom, still no Kierstan. "Oh Jesus. Kierstan where have you gone?" The guys sat in the floor. AJ had found polaroid�s of the two of them from
the night before. AJ in the floor with the pictures surrounding him, AJ holding Kierstan, the two of them kissing and finally AJ holding her after they had made love. It was all very sickening. Someone had watched and recorded their night, some sick person they didn�t even know. There had also been a note following the last picture. "Sleep safely in his arms sweet one. It�ll be the last time." Just as the five of them finished up they heard
footsteps running down the stairway. Vivian came running into the room. "AJ, she�s gone. Kierstan, she�s gone." |