Everything Your Heart Desires by Cheryl ([email protected]) and Kristy ([email protected]) Chapter 58 Cheryl and Kristy sat in the back of the large room with Denise, Polly and John as the fans began to enter for the fan conference. The group reflected on conferences of the past loving the question and answer sessions almost as much as the Boys did. The fans it seems were more competent than a lot of the entertainment journalists with their questions � some of which really kept the guys on their toes. The Backstreet Boys filed in behind a couple of local radio disc jockeys � Hildi and Kid Cruz - who would serve as emcees for the event. The band members took their seats at the table in the front of the room and greeted the crowd. The fans didn�t disappoint again asking about everything from the tour to tattoos and the Boys answered with honesty. Everyone, including the collection of relatives and girlfriends, were at ease and laughing until the Boys hit the halfway mark. It was inevitable. One girl, who looked to be 14 or 15 and an obviously a Nick fan according to her painted face, delivered the girlfriend question. Kevin was the first to speak. "I have a girlfriend. We�ve been together for almost six months and she means a great deal to me." He caught Kristy�s eye and smiled. "Single," said Nick trying to sound jovial but Cheryl and Kristy knew well that his heart still felt the sting of his breakup with Mandy. The teenage girls tried with great difficulty to check their glee at his announcement. "Spoken for," added A.J. "Leighanne and I are still very much together." "I�m dating someone," came Howie�s reply and Cheryl felt her stomach clench. Kevin noticed her reaction and decided to give his friend a chance to redeem himself. "What�s the difference?" he asked. Howie shrugged his shoulders and blushed. "It�s my classification." Before Polly or Kristy could react, Cheryl had hopped from her chair and dart out of the room. The two women glanced at one another before Kristy glanced at Kevin and shook her head sadly. She could read the disappointment in his green eyes. Cheryl found the hallway outside wardrobe empty and knew it would remain that way for another hour. She needed a quiet place to sort through the emotions that Howie�s two statements had wrought from her soul and this was as best she could do in a concert venue. She leaned against the cement wall and sank to a sitting position � her face buried in her folded arms rested atop her knees. Betrayal. The word that resounded in her head. Howie had done what Cheryl had talked to Kevin about in Boston. He had betrayed their love. *~*~*~*~* "Brian, are you and Leighanne going to get married next year?" someone asked. The fan conference continued. Very few in attendance had noticed anything amiss. The four that remained in the back of the room knew and had decided to give Cheryl a few minutes to herself before rushing to her aid. Two of the five men in the spotlight also knew what had happened and the others mulled over Cheryl�s abrupt disappearance with curiosity. That was all forgotten as Nick sang "The Wedding March" and Brian blushed. "I don�t know � that�s a good question. I would actually like to � all in good time." "Aww" came the response from the audience and his bandmates causing him to turn the color of red Roots pullover he wore. A girl about 18 stepped to the microphone next. "Kevin, what does your girlfriend think of you being named sexiest pop star? Does she realize how perfect you are?" Kevin�s face grew redder than Brian�s had. "I�m the first person to tell you I�m not perfect, and my girlfriend would most likely second that motion. But honestly, she proclaimed me Sexy long before People magazine ever did. She�s been great about all the publicity and I love her for it." Kristy smiled broadly, but breathed a sigh of relief when the subject moved to the Boys� plans for the upcoming holiday. Now she had time to concentrate on finding Cheryl and trying to figure out Howie�s commitment phobia. "Kris, I�m going to find Cher. She hasn�t come back and I�m worried," Polly whispered rising from her chair. Kristy nodded silently and followed Howie�s sister out the door. They failed to notice a pair of shaded brown eyes trail them. *~*~* After fifteen minutes of searching, the two women found their redheaded friend, who had since moved into A.J.�s dressing room. Cheryl had felt vulnerable exhibiting her emotions in the O-rena�s not-so-private hallway. Besides, A.J. would be able to help her sort out the meaning of Howie�s remark. "Cher?" Polly could see the confusion and hurt in her friend�s eyes before both she and Kristy walked over and tried to comfort her. Cheryl glanced from Kris� green eyes to Polly�s brown ones. "Why is he so afraid to commit to me? Am I such a bad person? Why doesn�t he love me?" �Way to go, Howard,� Polly thought angrily. �Your remark may have just cost you big.� Kristy placed a comforting arm around Cheryl�s shoulders. "You know that�s not true," she said glancing at Polly for support. "Cher, you seem to know Howie inside out. You know he didn�t mean it that way. I�ve known him his entire life and there have been many times he has opened his mouth before thinking." Kristy agreed. "In fact, Kev�s done the same thing on numerous occasions." "See, it�s just a male trait." Polly lifted Cheryl�s chin from her knees and stared her in the eyes. "He loves you. I know he does." The redhead stood up defiantly. "He says he does in private, but I wonder if that�s what he truly means. Maybe he has his own classification for that phrase too." She began to walk in the direction of the exit. "If anyone needs me, I�ll be at home." The two women stared after her retreating for before turning their eyes back to one another. "Howard really screwed up this time," Polly observed. *~*~*~*~* The fan conference had ended ten minutes before Kristy and Pollyanna returned to the green room. Kevin saw Kristy shake her head sadly as he caught her eye. "Where did you guys go?" Howie asked. He had seen he girls leave and, still oblivious to the impact of his earlier statement, assumed Cheryl had gone with them. "Where�s Cher?" A.J. stared at his friend in disbelief fully aware of the circumstances. "What?" "Please excuse myself and Mr. Dorough," A.J. said through clenched teeth. "We�re going to have a little discussion. Come along, HOWARD!" He grabbed the other man forcefully and pulled him out the door. "Shit, Howie�s in for it now," Nick commented with a whistle. *~*~* "Sit!" A.J. commanded when they walked into his dressing room. Howie watched in wonder and fear as his friend paced and muttered expletives in between a calming countdown of numbers. "How? I don�t understand and I wish you�d enlighten me. Just�how?" Howie didn�t understand the question and couldn�t formulate a reply. "How the hell can you say you love her then pull that crap?" "A.J., I don�t�." "Let�s see how did you phrase it? �I�m dating someone�? Oh and then there was �it�s my own classification.�" Howie eyes widened in recognition. �Damn, I didn�t.� "Where is she?" "So now you admit your mistake?" "I-I wasn�t thinking�She knows I love her�It just slipped�I-I broke into pre-1997 mode when we couldn�t admit we had girlfriends�Oh God, I have to find her�I have to tell her I didn�t mean it�I have to beg her forgiveness�I have to prove I love her." "D, listen to me. It will be okay. She�s probably still in the building. We�ll find her. You�ll talk. By the time, the concert starts everything will be status quo." *~*~* "What do you mean she left?" A.J. asked Kristy and Polly when he and Howie rejoined the others. "She was really upset. She needed time by herself," the blonde woman explained giving Howie a glance riddled with both sympathy and disdain. Howie sank into the couch shaking his head. �This can�t be it,� he thought. �It can�t be over. She hates me. I broke her heart and she hates me.� "Oh, God, no," he whispered aloud. Polly moved to comfort her brother, but Kristy stopped her taking the seat beside him. "Howie, you are both overreacting. Just give her a chance to calm down and have faith. It will all work out." Howie tried to banish thoughts of Cheryl from his mind during the concert but was unsuccessful. Every lyric he sang reminded him of her and what she meant to him. His emotions nearly caused him to choke on the words to "Don�t Want to Lose You Now." When the final notes of "I Want It That Way" dissolved into screams, Howie sprinted past his bandmates and almost overran the security guards trying to get backstage. He showered and dressed in record time. Snatching his keys from his jacket, he called goodnight over his shoulder on the way to his Corvette. A.J. watched his friend leave before grabbing his cellphone. "C, it�s A.J. Pick up the phone please." *~*~*~*~* Kristy stood backstage, talking with Leighanne when a pair of muscular arms encircled her waist and she felt a pair of lips on her neck. "Mmmm." She turned in Kevin�s arms and smiled up at him. She saw the look of tenderness in his eyes and understood � she felt the same way. "I love you, too." Kevin smiled and pulled her closer, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "Aren�t we cozy?" Nick chuckled, looking at the happy couple. "So, Kev... how�s it feel to NOT be the one who screwed up for a change?" Kristy struggled to control her laughter as Kevin glared at the youngest member of the group, though he blushed slightly, realizing the truth in Nick�s observation. "I wasn�t that bad." Kristy raised her head and quirked an eyebrow at her boyfriend. "Boston. New York. Ring any bells?" Kevin grinned sheepishly and kissed her on the forehead. "Oh yeah... I was worse. But I�ve learned from my mistakes... didn�t I do good today?" he asked, an expectant look on his handsome face. Kristy giggled. "Yes honey, you did really good." She leaned up and kissed him softly. Kevin held her face in his hands and deepened the kiss. "Mmmm. Let�s go home." Kristy�s eyes widened slightly. �Home?� The word carried so much to it. She and Kevin usually referred to their living environments as "my place" or "the condo". "Home" meant much more. "I assume you mean your home?" He took her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb. Funny how he�d never thought of his house as "home" until Kristy had become a part of it. "Home is �wherever you are�," he said with a loving smile, referring to the incredible lyrics Kristy had written about their relationship. She felt the same way. *~*~*~*~* At home, Cheryl listened to A.J.�s pleas, "C, I need to talk to you." She refused to answer and heard her friend sigh. "D just bolted out of her barely saying goodnight. Something tells me you are going to receive one hell of an �apology�." She chuckled at his innuendo. "Anyway, John mentioned D was headed back to Winter Park before trying to hook up with you. Talk to him, Sparky. You both deserve to be happy." Cheryl threw on a jacket and grabbed her cellphone dialing Howie�s number as she headed for the door. His answering machine clicked on and she resigned herself to leave a message. "It�s Cher, Howie. Oh God, sweetie, I�m so sorry. I�m headed over to your place. We need to talk. I love you too much to give up on us because of a misunderstanding. Please, Howie�" She twisted the doorknob and opened the door in time to see Howie, his arms laden with a package and a bouquet of red roses, reached the first step. His brown eyes connected with her green ones, both sets clouded with uncertainty. He silently presented her with the flowers in his left hand bowing his head in a gesture of shame and apology. With a trembling hand, Cheryl accepted the bouquet before turning his hand and brushing a kiss against his palm. Howie lifted his eyes once more. She only smiled and took his hand leading him into the condo. He followed her into the kitchen where she found a vase for the roses and he began to unpack the Styrofoam cartons from the brown paper bag he had carried. Almost immediately, the aromatic smells of garlic, saffron and sofrito scented the room. Cheryl glanced over at her boyfriend who grinned sheepishly. "Rolando�s," he said simply. It was the Cuban restaurant in Winter Park where the couple had celebrated a belated one-month anniversary. Her favorite restaurant in the city. In a gesture that spokes volumes, Cheryl caressed his cheek with the back of her hand then gently drew his mouth to hers. They met in a soft, loving kiss. "I�m sorry," Howie whispered as they parted. Cheryl shook her head and touched a finger to his lips. "No. All is forgiven." The couple talked over a candlelit dinner about the fan conference and only because Howie felt his girlfriend deserved an explanation. Cheryl may have wanted to accept without question but he wasn�t as forgiving of himself. After they cleaned up the dishes, Cheryl suggested they retire to her room. "Nope. You�re going upstairs and packing a bag. We�re getting away for the weekend," he announced. "But, Howie, there�s a Backstreet Boys concert in Tampa tomorrow night." "I know and we�re going to Tampa tonight. Come on, B, trust me on this one." She narrowed her eyes wondering what he meant. "Are you kidnapping me again, Mr. Dorough?" her voice teased. A grin made his face radiate with mischief. "Maybe..Please come. You�ll love it, I promise." "I am sure that I will. We�ll take my car though � less chance of being spotted." She started up the stairs before Howie grabbed her hand causing her to turn back. "I love you, Cher." "I love you too, Howie, so much," Cheryl replied sealing her statement with a kiss. Minutes later, Howie was behind the steering wheel of Cheryl�s Volkswagen driving west on Interstate-4. He watched as his girlfriend switched on the radio tuning it to Magic 107.7 but groaned as an all-too-familiar tune drifted from the speakers. But my love is all I have to give Without you, I don�t think I can live I wish I could give the world to you But love is all I have to give. "Thankfully, that�s the end of that song," Howie stated. "Well, I happen to love that song. There�s this really hot guy in the group that sings it," she reached over and settled her left hand on his right knee. "He wears sunglasses all the time and often dies his hair strange colors. I think his name is A.J." "Oh, I �m hurt." She smiled. "Of course, he�s not quite as sexy as that Dorough guy though." "Really?" Howie feigned being skeptical. "Mhmm." Cheryl continued to rub his knee for a moment before removing her hand. The couple then rode in silence. Howie hummed along with the songs on the radio while Cheryl gazed out the window. She was awakened from her daydream when she heard Howie begin to sing softly a Lionel Richie melody she remembered from almost two decades before. Girl, tell me only this That I have your heart For always And you want me by your side Whisper the words I�ll always love you And forever, I will be your lover And I know if you really care I will always be there Howie reached for her hand and entwined his fingers with hers before bringing her hand to his lips for a gentle kiss. It was an hour later when Howie stopped the car near a sprawling property on the northern outskirts of downtown Tampa. "Cher, we�re here," he whispered trying to rouse his sleeping girlfriend. She opened her eyes and moaned. "Where�s here?" "Gram�s Bed & Breakfast. Come on, they�re expecting us." They each took their own bags and Howie led Cheryl through a cobble-stoned courtyard to the inn�s door. The late night clerk greeted them and showed them to the jazz-inspired suite with its muted blue hues. "So�" Howie prodded when they were alone. "It�s beautiful." "Though you might like it. They have a Jacuzzi and a BYOB bar downstairs. And there is even a small recording studio on the premises." "You did all this tonight." "Yep, pulled a few strings here and there. I figured we needed a romantic getaway. We haven�t had the chance to do this since we went to the island and it has never been just the two of us. Besides," he added, "I needed the right atmosphere to prove to you that I�m serious when I tell you that you are more than just a friend, that I do love you with all my heart." "Howie," Cheryl found herself being pulled into her boyfriend�s lap. "Though, right now I�m a bit tired to do anything too strenuous." "I�ll take a raincheck," Cheryl quipped. "D, you do know that we don�t have to use sex to prove that we love one another?" He nodded. "There�s so much more to us than that." She stood and pulled her with him. "You know what I�d rather do right now?" Howie cast his eyes to hers as he felt her hands slide underneath his shirt to caress his warm skin. She heard him sigh. "I�d love to give you a message then cuddle close in that beautiful bed. I�m more than content fall asleep next to you." "Oh, I�d say I�d be damn satisfied with that." Later, Howie was laying on his stomach with Cheryl kneeling beside him, kneading the tired muscles in his back with soothing, measured strokes. He moaned. "Next time I�m taking you on tour." She just smiled and began to hum a few bars of "Truly". Howie found his cue and sang once more. Now I need to tell you this There�s no other love Like your love And, I, as long as I live I�ll give you all the joy My heart and soul can give He raised his head and met her gaze before turning over and giving her a sweet, thorough kiss. Cheryl then snuggled close and the two lovers joined one another in a peaceful sleep. Next: Chapter 59 -FanFics -Home