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Whenever You Call Chapter 8 *THREE WEEKS LATER* Mariah set the groceries down on the counter as she glanced at her answering machine. The light was blinking four times in rapid succession. Four messages. Odd. I never have that many. She pressed play. "4:02 p.m." Beep. "Mariah, it's Kevin. Give me a call as soon as you get home please. I miss talking to you. Bye." "5:47 p.m." Beep. "Riah, me again. Maybe you're at the hospital? Anyway, please call." "6:33 p.m." Beep. "Ri? Christ, where are you? I hope you're okay. Call me." "7:54 p.m." Beep. "Riah? I need to talk to you. Please, please call. God, I don't know what's up with me tonight. Just please call...as soon as you can." What could be wrong? Mariah's mind was racing. He could be sick. He could be hurt. What could have happened? He sounds so frantic. "Damn, where is that number?" she swore aloud. "What did I do with it? Dammit." As she was cursing herself, the phone rang. "Hello?" "Riah?" "Kev, oh thank God. I was so worried. I just got home and heard your messages. I couldn't find your number." There was silence on the other line. "Kev? Kevin? You still there? KEVIN." "Yeah. God, it feels so good to talk you." "Why? What's wrong? Are you okay?" He groaned. "Yeah. I just missed..." She's going to think I'm such a total ass. But she's the only one who might understand. "It's nothing." "Come on, Kev. It isn't nothing. Talk to me." Mariah sat on the couch and watched as Wagner climbed into her lap. "It's stupid. I feel so stupid being this way." "I'm listening...Man, I sound like Frasier Crane," she muttered. Kevin smiled. She could always do that to him. "It's just...God, you would think I'd be used to this by now. I'm homesick. I miss home. I miss Orlando. I miss the rainstorms at exactly four every afternoon. I miss my house. I miss you. I miss the rest of my friends. I miss just hanging out." "It's okay, Kevin. That sounds normal." Wait. Did he just say he missed me? "But it's not just that. This sounds even more stupid than the other stuff." He sighed. "I feel so alone, Riah." "Aren't the other guys with you?" "Yeah, but...I told you it was stupid...I get this way on the road sometimes. It feels like something is missing. I never can figure out what it is. I convince myself that it's home that I miss, but I'm not so sure that's it. It's like I want to give all this up and just go home, you know. That being home will make it better. My heart just feels so empty sometimes, you know?" God, do I? "Kevin, it's okay. I feel like that too sometimes. "But somehow you make it right. She shook the thought from her head. "But it is something else too?" This girl knows me too well. He swallowed hard. "Nights like tonight, that void seems much larger...I start to think about things, about my life...I question all the decisions I've made...wonder about all that has gone wrong...when Beth and I split...and Dad passed away..." Kevin was silent as he thought of the man he'd loved so much. "Kev...I'm so sorry." Mariah remembered the night he had told her about his father's death. Although she couldn't quite identify with the loss, she listened to and tried to understand his story. It was obvious how much that event impacted his life and made him the person she knew. That night had been an emotionally draining one for both of them. "I miss him, Ri. Especially at times like this." "You need to stop thinking so hard." "I can't just forget him," Kevin said taken aback at her advice. She shook her head. "I didn't mean it like that. There is no way I'd ever tell you to forget him. And from what you told me about him, there is no way I could either. I just worry about you thinking too hard. Don't let it consume you okay. I'm sure he's watching every move you make and that he is very proud of what you have accomplished. You know he loved you and still does. "Have you talked to the other guys about it ? Brian maybe?" "No. Hell they wouldn't understand this. A.J., Nick and Brian all have girlfriends to lean on. None of them have ever endured a loss like this. Howie and I are the only ones who are single. Funny how we're the oldest and haven't settled into a serious relationship. D did lose his older sister last fall and I tried my best to help him. I knew what he was going through." "He might understand." "It's just that these days I feel so much more comfortable talking to you." I know exactly what you mean. "But, Kev, I can't physically be there. It might do you good to talk to someone who is. Someone like - who was it?" Kevin remembered her lack of Backstreet knowledge with a smile. "Howie." "Okay, Howie. Go talk to him. And if you still feel down, you know where to reach me. I'll take my cordless to bed with me tonight." She paused before continuing in a comforting whisper, "I'm here for you, Kevin." "Thank you, Riah. You're the best. Just remember that I'm here for you, too." "I know and I'm grateful for that. Goodnight." "'Night."Next: Chapter 9 |