Dream Weaver

by KaoruKagome

She stepped onto the cliff with bare feet, the dust and sand spreading silently where she stopped and stood. She was still and silent as she stared out into the blazing twin sunsets, the red shimmering across the canyon with the last remnants of heat. Darkness crept along the sky as the suns sank below the horizon with the drowsiness of a sleepy babe. She could sense the four people below her, watching the same sunset, basking in its glory.
She made no sound. Her breathing was one with cooling night winds and they taunted the silver strands that hung loose from her braid. She took a deep breath and listened to the wind. The suns fell behind the horizon and the stars lit up the blackened sky. She reached for her braid and pulled away the binding leather that held her hair bound. The wind grew strong and whipped her hair free, letting the silver
threads attempt to reach the silver of the stars. She ran her hands through her wild hair, four strands now between four fingers.
She took her gaze away from the starry sky and reached into a small pouch at her side. She held the four strands of hair delicately as she pulled out a small leather wrap. She opened it. Inside the rolled
up hide, were four more strands of hair.

One a golden honey brown. One a short course black. One a longer, silkier black. One a pale gold.
She put the leather wrap away and then began to braid the four different strands of hair together with her own. The hairs weaved around each other and grew, binding themselves to her own hair as
well as to each other.
With a secret smile, she clasped the braided gathering of hair and jumped off the edge of the cliff. The wind carried her to the bottom where the four people slept.
The two women slept together beside the fire. And then men slept apart on either side of the women and beside the fire. Without a sound, she strode to the fire and cast in the braided hairs. The fire crackled and consumed the hairs, sputtering with the cackle of ancient magic. The wind caught the flames, and the lights began to dance. The wind caught her silver hair just as she sat, the flames' lights setting her silver hair aglow.
She crossed her legs and picked up some of the sand of the earth in her palms. She whispered old words and blew the sand into the fire, sending the embers into another dance. The wind would not be left
behind. It danced with her hair and with the fire, even as she leaned her head back and her dark eyes drifted closed. Her skin, as dark and as red as the earth, gleemed in the firelight, her fingers moving to the dance as surely as she weaved the patterns in the stars.
"And so, into the dreaming..." the Dream Weaver whispered, her dark fingers weaving dreams for the four souls, bonded by destiny, the slept beside her.

***

 

Vash slowly blinked his eyes groggily. He could see a bit of red and a ceiling. He felt his arm on his
forehead. That would explain the red. He blinked his eyes some more, trying to get them focused. He sat up, rubbing his arm of his face and then his hand, trying to recoup from the sleepiness.
Abruptly, Vash stopped moving.
Something was wrong. But he wasn't sure what.

He took in his surroundings, half confused. They were familiar...yet foreign. He was lying stretched out on
an olive green couch. From the lumpiness beneath him, it was a sofa bed... Wait. It was a sofa bed. He
knew it. He shook his head. There was a maroon knit throw on the couch that half covered him. He touched it lightly with his fingers. It was so...soft. He slowly sat up, pushing aside the throw and rearranging it properly on the couch. And then, unconsciously fluffing the smushed maroon decorative cushions that had been beneath him.
Vash stopped in mid-fluff. It seemed so natural to do this... But somehow, something still felt... not
wrong. But...different.
"Oh, you're awake. I was wondering when you'd get up. I knew that last job was pretty tough, but I didn't
think you'd be so exhausted." Vash looked up and his widened in surprise. Meryl was standing in the
doorway, her hair hanging around her face, a smile on her lips. But that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that her belly was full and round as if she were... she were... Pregnant. That sounded right to him, yet at the same time it sounded out of this world. What the heck is going on?
"Vash honey, are you all right? You look dazed. Were you really that tired?" Meryl said approaching him.
She sat down beside him with a thud and looked at him with searching violet-gray eyes. Why did that have
such a calming and at the same time unnerving effect on him? "You must have been really tired if you're
still in lala land." Meryl stifled a yawn. She smiled. "Well, I'm no better myself I think. I just hope the
twins will be as sleepy as I am these days."
Twins. He knew that. But was surprised at the same time. Twins? his brain squeaked. Twin kids with
Meryl? That sounds right...but wrong at the same time. What's going on?? Suddenly, a rush of images came tumbling into his head.
"Vash? Are you all right? Vash, hon?"
Two lives' memories suddenly meshed. He was an orphan with his twin brother, Knives, raised in an orphanage, until five, then raised by Alex and Rem Saverem. His parents. He was born with his twin on a spacecraft headed for a new future. Rem raised them and Knives went insane. He and his brother joined the FBI special ops, in New York. They fought against each other in a world of desert, where Knives tried to destroy humanity and Vash tried to save it. He met his best friend Nicholas D. Wolfwood in a mission for the special ops. He became his partner. He met Nicholas in the middle of the desert, rode the same bus, and met off and on again in random cities across a wasteland planet. He met Meryl and Milly as witnesses in a
serial murder. Caught the bad guy and fell head over heals in love with Meryl and Wolfwood with Milly. He met Meryl and Milly when he'd been caught by bounty hunters and they were assigned by their  insurance agency to keep tabs on him. He retired from the FBI, married Meryl, moved to a town in northern New York. Wolfwood and Milly came with them. They had two kids. He left Meryl and Milly behind because it was too dangerous. Because Knives was hunting him and trying to kill him. Kill those he loved. Knives still worked at the FBI. Knives was a psychopath bent on destroying everything, including his brother's life. He was on a safe and sound Earth. He was on the desolate Gunsmoke. Meryl was pregnant with his babies. Meryl could never be with him. Ever.
Vash clutched his head as the images poured forth. He realized what he was wearing wasn't his red coat. It
was a red sweater. It was winter. Meryl was wearing a long-sleeved maternal dress. In violet. Meryl wore a
white outfit with violet and a lot of derringers. Meryl knew how to use a woman-sized Colt. Vash shook
his head. Meryl wore her hair short. Meryl now wore her hair long...and in a low ponytail.
"Vash!"
His head shot up and he looked at the worried woman beside him. The woman who was his wife, but wasn't his wife. Who was carrying his babies, but wasn't carrying his babies. Who couldn't be real...but was.
"I think I've got a really, really bad headache."
Meryl nodded. "It's gotta be severe, if you didn't even act like you heard me until just now. I'll get
you some tylenol. That head of yours must make my back and swollen feet feel like a mosquito bite. I'll go
get you the tylenol and some water."
Back and swollen feet? Before Vash could stop himself he gently sat her back on the couch, picked up
her socked feet and began to massage them. He looked at Meryl as she sighed blissfully. She wasn't very far along. Only five months. He could still have his way with her. A wicked smile tugged at the corner of his lips. But she was having twins and the load was probably getting pretty heavy...
Listen to yourself! You're brain is ricocheting with so many different memories you don't know which is
right! What in blazes is going on!? Vash looked at Meryl and saw her worried eyes looking at him.
"Vash, if you still need that tylenol, I'll just get up quickly and go get it. My feet aren't that bad. Not
yet anyway."
He shook his head. I don't know what's going on, but I'm not going to worry her about it. "Actually, my
head's feeling much better now. Must have been something from a dream or waking up..." Vash trailed
off. A dream...? Wait a minute...!
Ding. Dong!
Meryl sighed and pulled her feet out of Vash's lap. She gave him a smile. "Well, I'm glad you're feeling
better. Nicholas would never let you live it down if he knew. You're doing small town cop work, coming home early, napping and then complaining about a migraine. But he’s got the parish and the orphans to look after. And he doesn’t nap! He'd fricassee you!"
Vash grinned. Nicholas. Wolfwood. That's right, he was coming over for dinner... or were we traveling to
find Knives? What...?
"Hiya, Meryl! We brought the desert, just like you said! I made my best! Chocolate pudding!" Vash heard
Milly's voice come from the doorway.
With a smile, Vash stood up and went to the door to greet his friends...his family. He wondered if Little
Lily was over her chicken pox yet. And how David's soccer game had gone last Thursday.
And he wondered, with a large deal of dread he kept to himself as he greeted Milly, Nick and the kids, which of the memories were real...and which were the dream.

 

***

 

Vash wandered through his small house, marveling...but also confused. It was sweetly cared for, decorated for comfort. The room he had been in before, the living room, had the large olive couch/sofa bed and a matching love seat. There was also a brown leather recliner. There was fair sized TV, with VCR, DVD player, and stereo system in wooden wall unit. The wood of the unit matched the small table in the room. Then was the dining room. The table seated eight, and both the table and chairs were made from mahogany. A hanging lamp illuminated the room from just above the table. The kitchen was next to the dining room. He watched Meryl and Milly pace around the dark green tiled and wooden kitchen, finishing up the rest of the food and getting it ready for serving. Milly had stuffed her pudding in the beige fridge and was now helping Meryl pull out the corn-bread from the oven.

Memories flashed through his head of all the times he had watched her pace around the kitchen... And that time with the orphans in that abandoned building. She had been teaching the little girls how to cook—

Vash cut himself off with a shake of his head. No. That was something else... The dream...right?

"Hey, Vash, you all right? You've been staring into air for a while now. Aren't you going to sit at the table?"

Vash turned and smiled at Wolfwood. A cigarette was smoldering between his friend's lips.

"Don't let Milly catch you with that, Nick. You know how she feels about you smoking around the kids," Vash said with a forced smile.

Wolfwood's eyebrow lifted. He lifted his hand and put it on Vash's forehead. Wolfwood then shouted into the kitchen. "Meryl, what have you been feeding him? Why is he so depressed?"

"I'm right here, you know," Vash grumbled.

Milly blinked as she came out of the kitchen. She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him. "Nick is right, Meryl. Is there something wrong, Vash?" Milly asked worriedly.

Meryl stepped out of the kitchen beside Milly. Vash could feel her eyes searching, wondering. How could he tell her that he didn't know what was wrong himself?

Meryl turned back to Milly. "Milly can you put the corn-bread on the table?"

"Sure thing, Meryl."

Wolfwood took a deep breath and grinned. "This smells fantastic, Meryl. David, Lily, food's ready!"

"YAY!!" the kids squealed from the living room. They turned off the TV and ran into the room, quickly getting into their seats.

Vash felt a slight hand on his arm. Meryl gave him a warm smile. "Let's have dinner, Vash. Then we'll see how you feel after you've eaten. I know how hungry you can get."

Vash covered Meryl's hand with his and squeezed her fingers gently. Meryl... What's going on? He nodded.

They sat down and Nick said the grace. Vash felt strange hearing the words come from Nicholas. They felt familiar, as if he'd heard the same prayer millions of times, and at the same time it was as if this was the first time.

"We thank you for this food, Lord, for all you've given us. For those we love, for our lives and for all the joy you've given us. We ask you to bless this food just as you bless our lives. And we ask you to bless our future, so that every path we take, your light guides us and protects us. Amen."

"Amen" everyone said in unison. But Vash could only whisper the word. He was struggling to hold back the salt water that threatened to spill from his eyes. Why was there something so poignant and painful in that prayer? Something he had never noticed before?

"So, Vash," Nick began, "wasn't Knives supposed to come today too? I thought he was coming up from D.C."

Vash started. Knives...? But Knives wanted to kill him, to torture him, to destroy everyone even the ones he cared most about... Vash shook his head. No. NO! Different Knives. An image formed in his head of a smiling older brother as they played in the orphanage, of him protecting Vash from the bullies by taking the name 'Knives', of growing up happy with Alex and Rem... Dad and Mom... Of joining Quantico together in D.C. Of being transferred to New York together. Working in the same office, working together, fighting together...

"Vash...?"

Suddenly an image of Knives flashed into his head. His brother laughing madly as millions of people were about to die as they fell to a new world. His brother using him to destroy an entire city. His brother killing so many...so many... just to torture him. His brother scrawling his name in blood in an abandoned dead town...

Vash shot up from his seat abruptly, and rushed to the back of the house, going out the back door. Ignoring the startled voices of his wife and friends. He felt a rush of cold air. He opened his eyes. It was a small garden. Vash remembered Meryl first working on this garden and him helping her. This was their garden. But he blinked when he saw something white fall to the ground, followed by many like it. He looked up and it dawned on him.

It was snowing. He had never seen snow before... or had he? He remembered snowball fights with Knives in their yard, Rem and Alex watching them for a while before joining them. That was before they moved down to Florida. He remembered a snowball fight with Meryl, Milly and Wolfwood on one of their first group dates. He opened his palm and watched as the snowflake landed gently on his hand and then melted away. He remembered... But then why did it feel like—?

"It's snowing!"

Vash turned around and saw Lily and David rush out and into the backyard. He gave a short laugh as they jumped up and down. Lily's light brown hair and gray eyes sparkled as she giggled. David grabbed his sister's hand and they ran further down. White snowflakes crowned David's black hair.

"Don't run off too far!"

Milly walked up beside him, gave him a smile and went after her children. He then felt a large hand clamp his shoulder. Vash met Wolfwood's piercing gray gaze.

"Why don't you go back inside and put on something decent for this weather. Walking out here in socks sure won't do. Meryl's waiting for you inside. And your food's getting cold." Nick gave him a firm pat and then walked after his wife and children. "What are you two up to?" he called sneaking around his wife toward his children. They squealed in delight and took off in a run.

Vash watched them for a moment and a sense of warmth filled him despite the cold. It seemed so right to see them like this. Like if this was how it was meant to be. The kids hid behind Milly and Wolfwood strode right up to her and gave her deep kiss. The children watched in awe, not noticing their father's hands reaching toward them.

"EEE! He caught us!"

"Ah HA! Thought you could use your mother as a shield, eh? You forget! She's on my side!!" Nicholas promptly began to tickle them.

Their laughter filled the air and twisted at his heart. He turned away and began to walk inside the house. Why did have the horrible feeling that he will never see those children in real life?

...Real life?

Wasn't this...real life...?

"Vash?"

He looked up and saw Meryl's worried expression. Since he awoke that's all he'd been seeing on her face. He wanted to see her smile. Like he remembers seeing her smile. In the other memories on that different world she never smiled like she did here with him. "I'm sorry, Meryl. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I've got two different people living inside me and I don't know which one is real and which one is dreaming..." He gave a brief half laugh and lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "Sorry. Nevermind that. I don't know what it is, really."

Meryl smiled at him lovingly and handed him the maroon overcoat and his boots. "Do you still want to go outside?"

He shook his head. "No. I want to be in here with you for a bit."

That worried look was back, her brow furrowing. Vash gave into the compulsion that face brought out. He kissed her nose. For some reason, he was comfortable and nervous at the same time. Meryl giggled and dropped his coat and boots onto the loveseat. She reached up and Vash met her halfway, bending down to kiss her, just as she wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her hand through his hair.

Vash met her lips eagerly and hesitantly. But the moment they touched he forgot all else. This seemed right. Definitely right. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her up against him. He suckled her lips and her mouth opened beneath his. When his tongue met hers his entire body shook. A groan came from deep within him and rumbled out as he deepened the kiss.

They stood there like that, engulfed in their kiss, for what seemed like hours. When Vash finally pulled back and saw her rosy cheeks and her shiny eyes, his entire body hardened. It seemed so right...and yet so new. And at the moment he didn't rightly care either. He only wanted to lose himself within her. Her swollen lips spread in a slow, sexy smile.

"Meryl..." he whispered hoarsely.

Suddenly, Vash felt a kick. Then another. On his abdomen. Meryl made an "umf" noise and Vash felt himself grin. He knelt down and placed his ear against her belly. He looked up and saw her smile.

"Looks like we woke them up. They're really active for being so little. I don't think we're going to get a wink of sleep after they're born," Meryl said. She gave a little sigh and reached for the discarded clothes. "Why don't you eat now, hm? I'll put these away."

Vash nodded as he straightened, but when he saw her reach for the clothes he noticed a scar across the underside of her forearm. Meryl left the room whistling, but Vash stared after her, confused and worried only for a moment.

Then the memories hit like a torrent of nightmares.

Vash felt onto his knees, bending over, his hands on the floor as he held himself up. He...remembered how Meryl got that scar.

Knives, Wolfwood and himself had been working the Slasher case for just a couple of weeks. Three women had died in those two weeks. Too much too soon for a serial killer. But they had two witnesses. Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson. Both were working overtime at the Bernardelli Insurance Society and started heading home too late. Much too late. Before they got to their townhouse, they heard a dying scream from their next door neighbor. The door opened carefully and both hid in the bushes. They saw the man leave, but had very little to go on. He was bald and wearing black. He was muscularly built. After he was long gone did they move and checked their neighbor's house. They called 911 immediately after. That had been the second murder. In one week. The FBI had already been brought down. Vash had marveled at how Meryl and Milly seemed so calm, even with all their questions. Milly had been openly trembling though. Her smile was sweet, but her hands shook. Wolfwood and taken to her immediately. Meryl had been a rock, but her eyes were bloodshot and weary, as if she had cried herself to sleep that night.

Knives was head of the mission. After the third kill, there was no more time to waste. They had to use the only cards they held. Vash cringed as he remembered. They had had to use both Milly and Meryl as bait for the killer. It would have worked, but the killer had already known about them. He came for Meryl. The Slasher had been slicing her open bit by bit when they found them. They shot him before he could kill Meryl. She was in the hospital for a few weeks. She would be all right, but she lost a lot of blood and there would be scars all over her body where he had cut her.

It had taken Vash a long time to forgive himself. That's why they had married a couple of years after Milly and Wolfwood. He had felt unworthy because he had deserted her. She had never seen it that way. She learned to use a Colt and told him that she had never doubted that he would come to save her.

Vash had been humbled by her belief. It was after that case, after he had shot the Slasher, that he decided that he would quit the FBI soon. He would never kill anyone again, or let anyone he cared about be in danger again...or at least as best as he could.

"All life is precious..."

Vash remembered Rem's words, his mother's words. Words that were familiar even in the confusion of his mind. Meryl had endured so much, but she was happy and in love and going to have his babies. But the other Meryl in his head... She was lonely, had endured so much, and would continue to endure even worse...for him.

Vash straightened and stood up. He walked up the stairs to his room. He saw the king-sized bed decorated in beige, violet and burgundy, with cherry wood furniture. He heard humming and turned to the other room.
Meryl was there. What had once been a guest room was now the nursery for the twins. The room was decorated in blue and green and yellow. Meryl insisted that the twins would be a girl and a boy, so she wanted something unisex. Vash smiled as he watched her pad around the room.
Those other memories had never seen Meryl like this. Had never seen her sweet smile, her eyes so full of
love that they sent shivers down his spine. Had never felt the pleasure of loving her and holding her. His
body hardened as he lingered on those memories, his memories...or perhaps they were his dreams...?
What was really going on? Why was he having all these confusing, twisting memory-like dreams? Were they real memories or was he dreaming while awake? Or was it the other way around? Was he now in a waking dream and the memories of the other life that plague him his real memories and real life? The ring of truth that echoed that last thought terrified him.
No. I don't want those memories to be the real ones. I want this life. I want Meryl and my babies. I want
to be a small town cop, were the worst thing that happens is a hold up. I want to have my brother be my
friend and Wolfwood and Milly always with me and Lily and David clinging to my legs as I march around the room. He touched the wall lovingly. I want this house, this life, even with all its hardships. Why can't this life be real? Why does the science fiction in my head have to be the reality?! I won't believe it! I don't. This is my life. This is my LIFE.
Vash left the room silently and went into his study. A newspaper sat on his desk. He picked it up to look at
the heading and his heart clenched.
"PROJECT SEEDS CANCELED DUE TO LACK OF FUNDING"
Memories flashed in his head. He was part of the project. Him and Knives were born on the spacecraft of
the SEEDS. Rem left Alex behind on Earth to go and find a new world to live on. Vash shook his head. No.
Alex and Rem were both working on the project. They were scientists. This is what they did for a living.
They were in Cape Canaveral now looking over the project... weren't they?
Vash looked to see the article and his breath caught.
Gibberish.
He couldn't understand it. It made no sense. It was like looking at a strange code. He tossed the paper
aside and reached for a book. He opened it and saw only gibberish. He put the book back silently. This...
really was a dream... wasn't it?
"Vash?"
He looked up and saw Meryl approach him. Meryl. Meryl. His wife. With his babies. Not real. Only a
dream. Only a dream.
"Vash, you're so pale. Are you all right, sweetie? Come on, I'll take you to bed. You haven't touched your food at all. Are you coming down with something? Vash? Vash?"
He slowly wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in hair that smelled like jasmine. His mother had smelled of geraniums; Rem had smelled of geraniums. But Meryl... Meryl...
"Vash, come on, love. Let's go to the room."
Vash followed her blindly, lost in agony. This life. A life he had always known was a dream? And the dream that came to him upon waking now was the reality...wasn't it? He heard it said once. You can't read
anything in dreams.
"Vash, let me help you out of these clothes. You feel hot, maybe you're catching a fever? Vash?"
He tossed the sweater aside and took her in his arms and kissed her. Meryl was startled at first but returned the kiss. She pulled back afterward and stared up at him with perplexed stormy violet eyes. "Vash, are you feeling well? Talk to me."
He looked up and saw himself in the mirror. He had scars on his body, but not as severe as the ones he
remembered in the other life. But then again, doctors in this life knew what to do. Doctors in that life
weren't exactly experts. Vash shook his head and looked back down at Meryl's worried face. He didn't
care what was the dream and what wasn't.

"Meryl, make love to me. Please."
Meryl blinked and Vash couldn't help but smile. She shook her head with a smile twisting on her lips. "You
know, you don't have to say 'please'." Her face turned serious. "And you don't have to sound like its the
last time you ever will," she whispered.
Vash smiled lightly and kissed her again, slowly lowering them both onto the bed. But it may just
that, Meryl. Our last time together.
Vash made love to his wife, pushing out everything in his mind except his love for her. Nick, Milly, David
and Lily's laughter could be heard being caught in the wind outside Vash and Meryl's window.

 

***

 

Vash left Meryl sleeping as he slipped out of the room and headed downstairs. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he had to find out. The terrible feeling in his gut kept gnawing at his heart, telling him that this life was just a dream. A sweet, heart wrenching dream. And God only knows that he didn't want it to be.

"Hey, Vash!"

Vash turned and saw Wolfwood come towards him from the living room. Just beyond him Vash could see the sleeping forms of Milly, David and Lily. He couldn't help but smile. They all looked so peaceful and content. His smile faded. They had no idea.

"Needle noggin', I'm talking to you."

Vash started and looked back and Wolfwood. The worry and irritation blended into and interesting mix on Nicholas' face. Vash gave his friend a forced smile.

"Yeah, Nick?"

Wolfwood thrust Vash's overcoat and boots at him without a word. Vash gave him a strange look but put them on. Once Vash was dressed Wolfwood grabbed and dragged him out to the front of the house. He made sure that door didn't make enough noise to disturb the sleeping household. He forced Vash down onto the snow-covered steps. Nicholas plopped down beside him. He reached into his coat and pulled out a crumpled cigarette. He put it in his mouth and lit it, taking a deep drawl as he tossed the match away. He exhaled and gave Vash a withering look.

"Start talking hay-for-brains. What's wrong with you?" Wolfwood demanded.

Vash took a deep breath and then exhaled, watching his breath come out slowly. It was just so real. And at the same time it just...wasn't.

"Ever had the feeling that your life is a dream? That everything about it is just...a fantasy? A hopeful wish?" Vash began quietly. He turned at met Wolfwood's worried gray gaze.

"I guess so."

Vash sighed. "The worst part about feeling that way is the dread that at any minute you're about to wake up."

"You're a little young to be having a midlife crisis, Vash." Wolfwood said sarcastically. "You don't even have kids yet!"

Vash gave a short burst of laughter and shook his head. "Heh. I wish that was all it was!"

Wolfwood suddenly grew still beside him. "You're serious, huh? Dammit, Vash, you're life isn't a dream or a fantasy. This is it, man! Life's been hard, you've had ups and downs. Crap! I've had ups and downs! But life's suddenly gotten better for the both of us. You're a cop, serve and protect. I'm a preacher at the church. Milly works at the church orphanage. It still boggles my mind to hear the older folks call Milly 'the minister's wife'! David is starting school next year. Meryl is on maternity leave from the small insurance branch we got here. Everything is finally working out for us. It's not a dream, Vash. You aren't going to wake up!"

Vash shook his head. "I know, Nick, I know. But... I'm not so sure anymore. I've got two sets of memories conflicting in my head. I'm still trying to figure out which one of them is real."

"Christ."

Vash blinked. "What?"

Wolfwood glared at Vash. "And here I thought you were being metaphorical, you idiot! Are you losing what's left of your mind? This is the real world. Whatever dream you think you're having, go to a shrink for it. You're going to be a father in four months! You've gotta be in prime condition for that, I can tell you!"

Vash stared at Wolfwood for a minute. "Nick?"

"Yeah?"

Vash hesitated for a moment before asking. "Why does it sound like you're trying to convince yourself?"

"What?!"

Vash looked away, his eyes wide. "Oh, shit. I hadn't even considered that. What's going on here? What if we're all dreaming the same dream...and I'm the only one who's aware of it? But why would I be the only one...?" He suddenly went quiet as understanding suddenly hit him. He murmured the next sentence half in dejection and in disbelief. "Because I'm not completely human..."

“Vash, you definitely need to see a shrink. There are some really good ones if you go to back to the city. There aren't many up here in the boondocks. Whatever's wrong with you we can fix—”

A wave of Vash's hand cut him off. He stood up, took a deep breath and then looked down at Wolfwood with a painfully sad smile. "I don't know what it is, Wolfwood. I just know what I know. I love this life. It's so real to me. So painfully real. But I know it isn't. The fear in my gut keeps telling me so. I want to believe I'm going crazy and maybe get these thoughts out of my head but..." He shook his head. "But what happens when we wake up? How long is this supposed to last...? How much time left do I have of this life? How much?"

Wolfwood stood up. "Vash, you are sick, aren't you? What happened the last time you went to the doctor? Did he tell you that you have cancer, that you've got a brain tumor or something? Vash, you're going to be a father soon. Don't tell me you're giving up on life, just when your life is beginning!"

Vash gave his friend the best smile he could muster. It wasn't much. Vash looked down at his hands. I'm waking up, aren't I? I know I'm going to wake up soon. I can feel it. He looked back up at Wolfwood and didn't even feel the tears running silently down his cheeks.

"I don't think I'm going to get a chance to hold my babies, Wolfwood."

Wolfwood ran his hands through his hair. He muttered a curse, took the cigarette out of his mouth and tossed it. He gave Vash a fierce glare. "DAMMIT, VASH!"

At that moment the door to the house opened. Vash turned and saw Milly there, holding a sleepy Lily, David at her side, holding onto her coat and Meryl beside her looking a bit panicked. Meryl was the first to rush out to Vash.

"Vash! Vash? What's going on, sweetie? What's happening? What aren't you telling me?" Meryl said, the edge in her voice more pronounced.

Vash could only look down into her face and drown in her eyes. If only this could be real, Meryl, if only... He lifted his hand and cradled her face, caressing the soft skin. "I'm so sorry, Meryl..."

Meryl's eyes widened and tears began to slide down from them. Vash knew that she didn't understand what was going on, and he knew he couldn't tell her. It didn't matter anymore.

"Nick, what's going on? What's wrong with Vash?" Milly whispered.

Vash didn't hear Wolfwood respond. He bent down and gave Meryl a soft kiss on the lips and then pulled away. He heard her small sob and his heart clenched. He walked down the steps and then turned around to face his family, his house, his life.

He tried to give them a confident smile. All he managed was a trembling one.

"It's time to wake up."

And with those words, the world shattered.

 

***

 

Vash came awake groggily. He blinked several times, trying to focus his eyes. He saw the stars twinkling in the distance, content in the darkness of the sky. He slowly dragged himself into a sitting position and looked around.

He was at the camp they had set up. The fire was still burning. He turned and saw Wolfwood sitting up as well, and the insurance girls also rousing from their sleep. A gust of wind came up from behind him and made the fire crackle. Vash returned his gaze to the fire.

So it had been just a dream. A strange one, but still a dream. A heavy sense of loss filled him, weighing down his heart.

“And so you wake.”

Vash’s head shot up and he saw a woman standing on the opposite end of the fire. He squinted, trying to get a clear view of the intruder.

She was a tall woman, but not as tall as Milly. Her glittering silver hair moved wildly about her with the wind, as if her hair were alive. The fire was reflected off her hair, giving it a strange glow of silver, red and orange. Her eyes were a deep, fathomless black and her skin was a dark reddish brown, the color of the earth.

“Who are you?” he heard Wolfwood say.

She smiled then. Vash was taken off guard. The smile was so honest and so pure that he wasn’t even sure he had seen it. But he had. If Wolfwood’s sharp intake of breath and the surprised gasps of the insurance girls were any indication.

“I am the Dream Weaver. I am of ancient times. Of when the land was rich and pure. I am… a memory.”

“A memory?” came the confused question of Meryl. “What do you mean a memory?”

She turned her obsidian gaze to the two women. “I am a memory of the earth. I am…” A small smile of longing appeared on her lips. “The dream of the earth.”

The woman turned to Vash. He looked into her eyes and for a moment thought he understood. “You’re the one who gave us that dream, weren’t you?”

There was a sudden silence that descended. He knew he’d been right. And his friends’ reactions confirmed it. They had all shared the same dream. Milly’s low sob was quieted by Meryl’s trembling hush.

The Dream Weaver gave Vash a nod. “I gave you… a gift,” she said, her voice husky. “It was a dream of what could have been, what no longer is, and of what could be.”

“What’s the supposed to mean?” Wolfwood said, his voice harsh.

Vash met the black gaze unflinchingly. “Why was I the only one who knew?”

She smiled. “You are a different sort of child. You…see more.”

“Why did you call this a gift? It wasn’t any kind of gift I could understand,” Meryl said, her voice trembling. The shock was probably the greatest on her. Moments ago she was pregnant. Now the babies she could probably still feel, were missing. Vash didn’t even want to imagine what kind of void that felt like. He had known it was a dream, but it still felt as if his life was suddenly missing.

The Dream Weaver closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Vash could not tell if she had opened them again, but it looked as if she was staring at the sky. “I gave you the gift of… hope. Even though what you have dreamed no longer exists…” She brought her head back and gazed at them all. Vash felt as if the night sky was hidden in the depths of those eyes.

“You have the hope to make that dream… real…”

She gave them one more smile and walked directly into the fire, startling everyone to their feet. But her voice stopped them. Vash could have sworn it didn’t come from the fire, but from everything around them.

“Be happy, children of the earth. Your kindness and your hearts are rare. Hope. Make a future like the one you have dreamed. In dreaming lies hope.

“And hope is all you need for the future.”

Vash closed his eyes just as the fire suddenly burnt out. Hope…

 

***

 

Vash and company were oddly quiet when they woke up the next morning. All four were a little disturbed by dreams they could not quite remember. Meryl and Milly had woken up with tears in their eyes, but they could not remember why they had cried. Vash saw the slump of Wolfwood’s shoulders and wondered for the millionth time that morning about what had happened the night before. He felt as if something important had happened. Something that had changed them in small ways and they were coping with it now. But it was strange that they all seemed to feel that way. He met Meryl’s puzzled gaze, but could give her no answer.

He felt…sad yet content. Whatever he had dreamed had made him very happy and he was sad that it had to end. He had been feeling quite depressed since Brad’s death, but now…even though he was still a little depressed, he felt ready to go on with life. Like a little bit of hope that he had been missing has suddenly been sparked again. He saw the same look in the eyes of his friends. They were sad too, but hopeful. Whatever it was…it had changed them in some small way that he couldn’t figure out.

They got into the jeep and headed out into the desert after a quiet breakfast. But still no one said anything. He closed his eyes, wondering briefly if they had all shared the same dream the night before… He threw off the thought. That wasn’t possible, but it still felt like the right answer. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say they did. What could that mean? It would explain why all of them were in their deep in their own thoughts. Vash himself couldn’t remember the dream in any kind of detail. Just feelings.

Love, warmth, family. A home, caring friends, laughter, learning, growing, living normally, peacefully. Trials of heart, mind and body, all those things that make life and living worth while and complete. Something that he couldn’t quite grasp yet. Not while Knives was still out there wreaking havoc. Not yet, when he still hadn’t come to terms with his feeling for Meryl.

He wondered briefly what it would be like if he had been a different person, lived a different life. And if that life would be as real as this one.

Milly and Wolfwood stared up conversation again. Jokes were made, laughter followed. Milly’s comment on sextuplets brought a poignant yet unattainable memory. Wolfwood and Milly just laughed it off, but it seemed to echo their dreams.

“Vash…?”

Vash opened his eyes and straightened, turning to her with a sad, wistful smile. “Yeah, Meryl? What’s up?”

“Um…no-nothing…”

Meryl turned away and Vash stared at her for a moment longer. Maybe they really had shared a dream about hope last night. Maybe it’ll be what holds them together for the future. Maybe the dream—whatever it was—will come true… Someday.