Stargate-SG1 - A Sense of Urgency

Stargate-SG1

A Sense of Urgency

Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 does not belong to me <sadly enough>. This is just for fun. I'm not being paid. It's just a way to appease the SG-1 bunnies.

Season: 6

Spoilers: None that I can think of

Rating: PG

Type: Humor <I hope>

Thanks: A special thanks goes out to Jen and Wesa for being my reading guniea <sp> pigs. You two are the greatest.

Now on with the show..........

A Sense of Urgency

By Marqaisa McAdams.

The SG-1 team entered the briefing room to find General Hammond there, but no Jack.

“Sir, you wanted to see us?” Major Carter asked.

“Not me, Major. I didn’t call this meeting,” Hammond said just as Jack came into the room.

“No, I did, Sir. I’m sorry, but I had to let you know about a possible threat to the SGC, Earth, and all the peaceful worlds we’ve visited so far,” Jack said in a rushed voice.

Teal’c, Sam, and Jonas looked at each other curious.

“Is it Anubis?” Hammond asked.

“Any system lord, really, sir. If any of them get a hold of this we might as well be digging our own graves right now because we lost the war.”

Jack proceeded to hand out folders to his team and Hammond before sitting down himself.

All of them opened the folders to read whatever Jack was afraid of. I mean, let’s face it, Jack doesn’t get scared often. When he did then the rest of SGC knew something was wrong.

Glancing down at the first page, Hammond looked over at Jack. “Colonel, is this some sort of sick joke?”

“Absolutely, not, sir.”

Sam read the first page briefly and tried her best to stifle a laugh. Teal’c simply raised an eyebrow.

Jonas, concerned as always about the fate of his adopted world and that of all the worlds that the SGC has visited before and during his stay there, read the words in big bold print first: “The Top 100 Things I’d Do If I Ever Became an Evil Overlord.” He glanced around and saw Sam failing miserable at trying not to laugh at the top secret information Jack recently came in contact with.

“I’m not sure I understand, Colonel,” Jonas said, clearly confused.

“If Anubis or any of the system lords get a hold of this then we have no chance at escaping from them again,” Jack informed him. “Look at number 36 on page 2.”

Sam raised an eyebrow and read it out loud. “I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison. “

“That will certainly delay our escape if Anubis reads this,” Teal’c admitted.

“See, sir? Even Teal’c agrees with me.”

Hammond just shook his head.

“And then there’s 43. Sam won’t be any use to us if Anubis reads that one.”

“Excuse me, sir?” Sam asked as she searched for the rule 43.

I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

“Like I could actually convince that freaky system lord that I’m interested in him,” she muttered.

Jack had to smile at what she said. Then continuing he said, “And to make matters worse there’s number 62. ‘I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight’. I mean we’re going to be royally screwed if Anubis or any of the greedier system lords get a hold of this, sir.”

“That’s it,” Hammond said, closing his folder and standing up. “Jack, I’m giving your team a week of down time. All of you are responsible for getting Colonel O’Neill to relax. If you don’t and he comes back still talking about this…this obvious joke about every movie villain known to man, then I’ll replace him with another SG-1 leader. Are we clear?”

A chorus of “Yes, sir” rang through the briefing room. With that Hammond left for his office and slammed the door.

The SG-1 team slowly made their way to their quarters. Once they were out of the earshot of Hammond, Jack turned to them.

“So, what should we do for our week off?”

The other three SG-1 members looked at him flabbergasted.

“You mean you weren’t serious about Anubis getting his hands on this, Sir?” Sam asked, wondering if Jack had finally flipped out.

“Oh, I was serious, Carter. It does have every cliché mistake that evil villains do in shows and movies. But I wanted to see how General Hammond would react. I bet he’s reading some of them right now and laughing his ass off.”

Jonas had to smile. He was still new to earth, but from his movie research that he did during his down time, Jack was right. These were a correction of mistakes and oversights on the villain’s part.

“Colonel, there’s one I really don’t understand. Number 23. I’ve never seen that in any of the movies I’ve watched.”

The team flipped through and found what Jonas was referring to.

I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.

Jack and Sam laughed.

“Sir, do you think it’s time that Jonas went through the Star Wars trilogy experience?”

“Yes, I do. Teal’c too. I don’t think I’ve subjected him to that either. Even though I prefer Star Trek, I do have a place in my heart for Lucas and the first three movies made. Come on, Star Wars movie marathon at my house. You guys bring the pizza. I’ll provide the beer and popcorn.”

“Indeed,” Teal’c nodded, before going to his quarters to pick up a few things for a visit to Jack’s cabin.

The End

Broken Links - Comments - Suggestions - Gramatical Errors

[email protected]