TITLE: Mummymaniacs

FANDOMS: The Mummy Returns/Animaniacs

RATING: G

KEYWORDS: The Mummy Returns, Animaniacs, Crossover, Humor

ARCHIVE: Anywhere just as long as you tell me first

FEEDBACK: Please!

SUMMARY: Two animaniac tales based on The Mummy Returns

DISCLAIMER: The Mummy Returns and Animaniacs do not belong to me. Mummy Returns is the property of universal studios and Animaniacs is the property of Warner Brothers Studios. I'm making no money off of this

By Cheri.

(egypt, 1935)

( outside in an open courtyard, a young girl is tied to a palm tree with a harness. she plays happily while a dog snoozes nearby. the back door opens and a lady emerges and walks over to the girl)

EVIE: Now Mindy, Your father and I are going to look at a dig site near here, so I want you to behave.

MINDY: Okay, lady!

EVIE: Mindy, how many times do I have to tell you! My name is mommy, not lady!

MINDY: Okay lady, I love you, bye bye!

(Evie sighs as she walks over to Buttons, the dog)

EVIE: AND YOU! (she points a finger in Buttons startled face) I don't want anything to happen to Mindy today while we're gone, or it's back to the dog pound for you! IS THAT CLEAR?

(Buttons nods frantically as sweat beads form on his forehead)

EVIE: GOOD! (she walks back over to Mindy and kisses her on the cheek) Be Good, Mindy!

MINDY: Okay, lady!

(Evie shakes her head sadly as she goes back into the house)

(Mindy plays happily with a ball as Buttons sleeps. All of a sudden, She jerks her head around as an Anubis warrior runs past the courtyard. Mindy drops the ball and stares)

MINDY: Ooooooooo, Another Doggie!

(Mindy strains against the harness until it finally snaps. She wanders out of the courtyard and begins to follow the Anubis warrior)

MINDY: HERE DOGGIE, DOGGIE, DOGGIE!

(Buttons eyes snap open and he gasps in horror as he sees the broken harness. He runs out of the courtyard and looks frantically from left to right. Finally, seeing Mindy walking down the street, he lets out a yelp and gives chase. Just as he's about to catch up, a soldier mummy steps out of an alleyway and roars at Buttons. Buttons yelps in surprise and fear and runs down the street followed by the soldier mummy. As he passes Mindy, She looks at him and laughs)

MINDY: Silly Buttons

(Mindy turns her head as she sees a man dressed in a black robe with tattoos on his face standing in an alley. As she does, the soldier mummy runs past. Mindy walks up to the man in the black robe)

MINDY: What you doing?

ARDETH: I'm preparing to kill the creature!

MINDY: Why?

ARDETH: Because I must!

MINDY: Why?

ARDETH: Because I am a MedJai

MINDY: Why?

ARDETH (frustrated): BECAUSE THAT'S MY DESTINY!

MINDY: Okay, I love you, bye bye!

(As Ardeth stares at Mindy with an open mouth. She takes off after the Anubis Warrior. Ardeth shakes his head)

ARDETH: Kids!

(Mindy walks down the street, confused. Buttons comes around a corner followed by the soldier mummy. Mindy smiles at him)

MINDY: Buttons! Silly doggie!

(Buttons grabs Mindy in his mouth as he's running. Mindy giggles happily.)

MINDY: That tickles!

(Buttons looks back and yelps as the soldier mummy raises his spear. Just then, the soldier mummy is cut in half by Ardeth. Buttons runs on, not looking back until he reaches the courtyard. He spits Mindy out and she skids across the ground until she lands back under the palm tree. As Buttons collapses, Evie walks out the back door)

EVIE: Whew, that was an exciting dig! (She walks over to Mindy) I'm glad you behaved yourself, Mindy! (She looks over at Buttons, who has collapsed on the ground and panting heavily. She walks over to him) In fact, I think we'll leave you two alone again tomorrow, since you've been such a good babysitter.

(As she turns and walks back in the house, Buttons yelps in horror and runs out of the courtyard and down the street as fast as he can. Mindy watches him and laughs)

MINDY: Silly Buttons!

******************************

(Egypt, 1933)

(Yakko stands outside a huge impressive mansion)

YAKKO: Greetings! I'm Yakko O'Connell. I live in this huge mansion with my wife Hello Nurse O' Connell, Her brother Wakko Carnahan and Our daughter Dot. (He puts his hand up to the side of his mouth and whispers) Yeah, I know we're supposed to have a son, but what can you do?

(He walks inside the mansion and looks up as Hello Nurse comes downstairs)

YAKKO: HELLLOOOOOOO NURSE!

(Hello Nurse comes downstairs and stands beside Yakko. Whenever she speaks, it's in a dull monotone voice without any inflection)

HELLO NURSE: hello my dear husband. i am going to go cook us some dinner.

(She looks blankly ahead, never noticing Yakko staring at her breasts and drooling. She walks into the kitchen as Yakko looks on, his tongue on the floor. As Wakko comes downstairs, Yakko gathers up his tongue and shoves it back in his mouth)

WAKKO: What a faboo evening! I'm so glad there are no mummies or bad guys around!

(They both turn as they hear a window break in the kitchen and a scream. Yakko turns to Wakko)

YAKKO: You were saying?...

(As Wakko shrugs, Loch Nah comes into the room)

LOCH NAH: I AM LOCH NAH!!

(Yakko walks over to Loch Nah and shakes his hand)

YAKKO: Nice to meet ya, Lock Jaw!

LOCH NAH: THAT'S LOCH NAH!!

YAKKO: That's what I said, Sports Bra!

LOCH NAH: (turning red): IT'S LOCH...oh, never mind. I have your wife O'Connell. We will kill her unless you do as we say!

(Dot comes down the stairs. She stops mid way and looks at everyone)

DOT: What's going on?

YAKKO (motioning towards Loch Nah) Hee Haw, here, says he has your mother!

LOCH NAH (jumping up and down and screaming) IT'S LOCH NAH, LOCH NAH, LOCH NAH!!!

YAKKO: Alright, Jude Law, Don't get so bent out of shape, sheesh.

(Just as Loch Nah is about to clobber Yakko, the door opens and Anhk se namen steps into the room. Wakko and Yakko's eyes grow wide)

YAKKO AND WAKKO: HELLLLLLOOOOOO WOMAN WHO USED TO BE A EGYPTIAN DEAD LADY BUT IS NOW REINCARNATED NURSE!

ANHK SE NAMEN: I am Anhk se namen, reborn!

(Yakko turns to Wakko in confusion)

YAKKO: Tutanhkamen?

WAKKO: Donnie Osmand?

DOT: Fresh cooked salmon?

(Anhk se namen jumps up and down and screams)

ANHK SE NAMEN: NO!! IT'S ANHK SE NAMEN, ANHK SE NAMEN, ANHK SE NAMEN!!

YAKKO: Gee, that's pretty good. Can you say she sells seashells by the seashore 3 times fast?

(they all turn as Ardeth Bey enters the room)

LOCH NAH: ARDETH BEY!!

YAKKO: (looks at him) I don't know!

(Loch Nah looks at him in confusion)

LOCH NAH: Don't know what?

YAKKO: whether the grim reaper is gay or not. I've never met him.

(Loch Nah shakes his head in confusion)

LOCH NAH: What are you talking about?

YAKKO: You just said Are Death Gay? I don't know if he is or not!

(Loch Nah's face begins to turn beet red and steam comes out of his ears)

(Yakko turns to Wakko)

YAKKO: I think Sock Drawer has problems!

(Loch Nah runs into the kitchen and throws Hello Nurse on the floor)

LOCH NAH: TAKE HER, TAKE HER! JUST LEAVE US ALONE!!

YAKKO: Whatever you say, Cole slaw.

(Loch Nah grabs Anhk se namen and Ardeth Bey by their necks and runs out the door screaming wildly. The three of them stand at the door watching them go)

YAKKO: England has the strangest people!

(He turns and sees Wakko and Dot running around with underwear on their heads. He shrugs and closes the door)

THE END