Title: A class of her own

Author: Kay De'Vil

Archive: Yes

Warnings: DEATH STORY, non-cannon character. MAJOR Angst warning. Plus this is written from experience of losing a young child so it's pretty deep and dark. If it reflects even half of what I felt then it might upset some people, if it does then I apologise in advance.

Summary: After Jim is injured during a hostage situation at a local school he discovers he has a daughter...

Disclaimer: All cannon characters are the property of Pet Fly Productions, no copyright infringement is intended by this story. The characters of Katharine Ellis and Sarah Kenner are mine however. The lyrics from Eric Clapton's 'Tears in Heaven' are copyrighted, no copyright infringement is intended.

Authors Note: This wasn't exactly how the story originally went in my mind, I have an idea why it suddenly turning in this direction, but I won't bore you with details. (I guess Crewella my evil muse reared her ugly head).

/..../ = Radio or telephone conversations

{....} = Overheard conversations

I hope you enjoy it and feedback is most welcome. Good or bad, I don't mind.

By Kay De'Vil.

By the end of the second week, Katharine was being to show signs of becoming ill, Sarah no longer visited just to check on Jim, who was finally off the crutches and now only using a cane when needed, she often also came to see how Katharine was doing.

It was on one of these days that Jim found Katharine laid in bed crying. Moving to stretch out beside her he drew her into his arms and held her. "It hurts Dad" she whispered. He held her close, kissing the top of her head he spoke in a whispered voice "Katharine, imagine a dial to symbolise your pain. Can you see it?" She nodded "OK, where is the dial ?"

"Seven" she replied wriggling against his side. His hand stroked her arm as he continued "Imagine the dial turning down, until it doesn't hurt anymore" she did as instructed he could feel the tension leaving her body "Where is it now honey?"

"Three"

"OK we'll leave it there, how do you feel?" she smiled up at him, the pain gone from her eyes. He smiled and kissed the top of her head again "Thanks Dad"

"Thank your Uncle Blair, he taught me" she smiled as she rested her head against his chest. In the background the radio was playing, Katharine looked up at her father and a tear escaped "This is my song" she whispered. Looking at her in confusion Jim listened closely to the song, his breath caught as he listened to Eric Clapton singing.

'Would you know my name;

If I saw you in heaven;

Will it be the same;

If I saw you in heaven.

I must be strong;

And carry on;

Cause I know I don't belong;

Here in heaven.'

Her hand brushed away the tear that ran down his cheek, drawing him from the zone he had been close to listening to the song. "I'm in heaven already Daddy, and I know I can't stay" she whispered as her hand came to rest on his cheek.

'Would you hold my hand;

If I saw you in heaven;

Would you help me stand;

If I saw you in heaven.

I'll find my way;

Through night and day;

Cause I know I just can't stay;

Here in heaven.'

Holding her close Jim turned up his senses, memorising ever small detail of his daughter, her scent, the feel of body against his, the warmth of her skin. He couldn't allow himself to forget a single thing of this wonderful child. All the time the song was playing in the background.

'Beyond the door;

There's peace I'm sure;

And I know there be no more;

Tears in heaven.'

Kissing the top of her head he listened to her steady heartbeat, breathed in her scent, treasuring her for the time they had together.

A knock on the door announced Sarah's arrival, he heard Blair let her in and talked with her for a moment and he heard Sarah starting up the stairs towards them. As she reached the top of the stairs he looked over at her, she smiled at the scene but he knew she could see the distress on his face and he didn't bother to try and hide it.

As she joined them at the bed she took in Katharine's pale complexion and Jim's almost pained expression and knew that something had happened "Morning Jim, Katharine" she said as she set her medical bag down on the bed "How have you both been today?"

"Katharine was in a bit of pain but we've worked through it" stated Jim. Sarah nodded and sat down beside them, she knew that there wasn't anything she could do for Katharine except help ease her pain "She's been taking her injections ever night?"

"Yes" Jim smiled down at his daughter, he knew Katharine hated the injections but he also knew that they were the only things keeping her with him at the moment. "Well I'll just check you both over" stated Sarah sounding calm and relaxed.

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Jim had moved downstairs when Sarah he began her examination of Katharine, he sat on the couch with Blair trying not to listen to what was being discussed up in his bedroom. Sitting forward he rested his head in his hands, and glanced at Blair, he could see his own concern mirrored in the younger man's face. "How is she this morning?" Questioned Blair

"She was in a lot of pain; I borrowed some of your teachings Chief"

"The dials?"

"Yeah, it helped"

"Well that's good. How are you doing Jim?"

"Me, I'm fine" stated the detective although he knew he was anything but fine. How could he be fine when he was watching his daughter die, how could he be fine when he knew there was nothing he could do for her, that no matter what he did it wouldn't change anything, she was dying. Blair's hand came to rest on his knee and both men exchanged knowing glances, Blair shifted uneasily on the couch "What is it Chief?"

"I know this isn't something you want to think about at the moment, but we have to make arrangements... If you want, Simon and I can handle it." Jim hugged himself and sat forward his eyes focusing on something on the floor, something Blair couldn't see. "It's OK Jim, I'll speak with Simon and we'll start making the arrangements"

"That's not necessary Chief" stated Jim still not looking at him. Blair sighed "I know it's not a pleasant though but it's something that has to be taken care of"

"I've already taken care of it" stated Jim surprising Blair "I spoke with the funeral director just after I found out" he admitted finally looking at his young friend.

Both men looked up as Sarah joined them, they could tell by her expression that the news wasn't good "I'm sorry Jim, she's entered the final stages. It isn't going to be long now, a few days at the most"

"What about the pain?" He questioned as though ignoring the fact he had just been told he only had a few days left with his daughter. Sarah glanced at Blair but answered his question "I've given her something for the pain, I'll give Blair the prescription to fill" Jim just nodded, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides. As she sat she glanced at Blair, but the young observer was clearly upset. "Jim, I think you should consider letting me take her to the hospital, the pain is only going to increase"

"No" stated Jim

"I'll make sure you have unrestricted access to her"

"No, I appreciate what you're trying to do Sarah but I want her here. I want her to stay here as long as possible"

"I don't think you fully understand what's going to happen Jim." Blair stood up and began to pace "He understands Sarah, he knows what's going to happen" he stated "We both do, but we've already discussed this countless times over the last few weeks. We've also discussed it with Katharine and she wants to be here with us, surrounded by her family." Sarah sighed and lowered her head, she should have known that these two men wouldn't have entered into this lightly, she should have known that they would have discussed Katharine's wishes with her. "Very well"

"Sarah we know this hasn't been any easier for you then it has for us. And I'm certain you'll want to spend as much time with her as possible" She nodded in agreement with Jim's statement, Katharine had filled a space in her heart she had never even realised was emptied and the thought that they were about to lose Katharine tore at her heart. Jim reached across the coffee table to take Sarah's hands within his own. "We'd like you to stay with us, we've discussed it and we don't think you should be alone." She smiled in amazement at the compassion of these two men, even now they thought of others as they moaned the impending death of their child, for that was what Katharine had become not just Jim's daughter but Blair's as well. "I wouldn't want to put you out" she stated smiling gratefully at them.

Jim's grip on her hands tightened as he looked into her eyes. "You wouldn't be putting us out Sarah, over the last few weeks you have become like family to us. You're part of our family, part of Katharine's family and we want you here, with us" he stated. A tear escaped as she looked at him "Thank you", he moved quickly to her side, drawing her into his arms and held her as she allowed the tears she had been fighting back, ever since meeting Katharine and discovering she was dying, to finally fall. Blair joined them, wrapping his arms around both Jim and Sarah, they sat holding each other sharing in their grief. For they knew when the time came none of them would have the time for grieving. They knew that the next few days would be hard on all of them and they had to be strong, if not for Katharine, then for the others whose lives Katharine had touched and enriched.

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Three days later, wrapped in her father's arms and surrounded by the people she loved and called family, the short yet beautiful life of Katharine Jane Ellison came to an end.

Simon, Rafe, H and Joel silently descended the stairs to the living area; they had been at the loft since the night before. When Jim's call that Katharine was losing her fight for life had come an eerie silence had befallen the entire bullpen. Each of the detectives had spent time with the little girl who had captured their hearts during the weeks she had been with Jim and Blair, and now each mourned the lost of such an innocent, gentle soul.

Sat in silence they listened to the gentle sobs coming from above. Steven and his wife had come to say farewell to their niece but it had been too much for Steven's wife, she had done her best to hold back her tears as they watched little Katharine slowly fall asleep in Jim's arms only then slip away from them forever.

H glanced over to his partner and could see the tears glistening in the man's eyes, reaching across the space between them; he placed his hand on Rafe's shoulder. He knew that the young man wouldn't release his grief, not here, not in public. Rafe had seen to many deaths in his life time but had always grieved in private, he would do the same for little Katharine. At the station Rafe, Katharine and Blair had been nicknamed the three musketeers, for wherever there was trouble in the station they would be found right in the centre of it. Rafe had admitted to H that having Katharine around the station with them had almost been like having his own sister back and so H understood the pain and tears he saw in his partners eyes.

Simon sat opposite then, Joel at his side. Both Captains found themselves reflecting on how Jim and Blair were coping, and how they would have handled the same situation had it been one of their children. Both knew that it would be along time before their friends recovered from this, that it would be a long time before they themselves would recover. Reaching into his jacket breast pocket Simon slowly turned the envelope which Katharine had given him a few days go over and over his hand.

Slowly, one by one the members of Katharine's family came down to join them in the living area of the loft. Steven held his wife in his arms as she sobbed on his shoulder, Kent doing the same for Sally until only Jim, Blair and Sarah remained upstairs with Katharine.

No one spoke as he listened to the whispered words from above them, after a few minutes there was a knock on the door. Simon and answered the door not surprised to find the funeral director stood at the door, dressed in a respectful black suit, white shirt and black tie, his two companions were dressed the same. Stepping aside he allowed them to enter carrying their small child sized coffin, the director shook Simon's hand "We're very sorry for your loss"

"She's still upstairs, her father and close family are saying their goodbyes." The director nodded and indicated for his companions to place the small coffin to one side, out of sight of the other guests, which wasn't easy considering the open plan layout of the apartment, but somehow they managed it. The three men stood to one side of the grievers their heads bowed awaiting permission to take Katharine to the funeral home.

Ten minutes later Blair and Sarah came down, his arm was wrapped securely around the woman's shoulders as he led her over to the couch to sit with the others. He noticed the funeral director and after settling Sarah in between Simon and Joel he moved over to talk with them.

While Blair was talking the with funeral director Jim came down, his face was so impassive and emotionless it sent a chill down Simon's spine. He watched as Jim moved to join Blair with the funeral director, then watched as they were lead up to where Katharine lay. As he turned to look at the others, he saw Joel, Sarah and Kent watching Jim as well, concern upon their faces as well. As each looked at each other a silent agreement was made, James Ellison was once again closing himself off from the world, shutting down his emotions to prevent any further pain. It was something they couldn't allow to happen, Jim had come so far since meeting Blair that they couldn't allow him to go back to the man he had been after returning from Peru.

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Blair watched as the coffin was slowly lowered into the grave, he wept as he said is final goodbyes to the young girl who had captured his heart. His eyes drifted across the grave to where Jim stood beside the priest who was saying a prayer over Katharine. The expression on Jim's face scared Blair, there was nothing of the man he had come to know all the life had gone from his eyes, his eyes were cold as he stared straight ahead, as though unable or unwilling to look down at the coffin that held his daughter.

A hand come to rest on Blair's shoulder shaking him from his thoughts, he turned to find Simon stood at his side, the priest had apparently finished and the group where now moving forward to throw their flowers into the grave. With a slight smile Blair accompanied Simon to the graveside, after kissing the white rose he tossed it in and stood for a moment. Simon gripped his shoulder as he tossed his own rose into the grave then both stepped back, their eyes moving to look at Jim who hadn't moved. For a moment Blair feared that Jim had zoned, but the older man sighed before moving forward to place his rose on the ground at the head of the grave.

Blair had been surprised by the number of police officers who had attended the funeral, Katharine hadn't only effected those around her within the bullpen, but also those throughout the precinct. Sighing he pulled his jacket tight around him and allowed Simon to lead him towards the waiting cars, as he got in he looked out the window to Jim who remained stood at his daughters graveside. Sighing Blair looked back at Simon and could see his own concerns reflected in the older man's eyes "We have to do something about Jim" he stated

"I know, but what?"

"He's still signed off right?" Simon nodded a questioned clear upon his face "Kent and Sally invited us up to their place for some downtime, I think we should take them up on the offer"

"Sounds like a good idea, but how are you going to get him to go. If I know Jim, he's going to try and burry himself into his work."

"Yeah, but he can't do that if he hasn't been cleared for work"

"OK, I'll speak with Sarah and see what we can do about extending his sick time" agreed Simon as he again glanced at Jim.

Sarah had returned to the car with Rafe and H, but as she turned she saw Jim stood over Katharine's grave and knew she had to talk to him. Telling H and Rafe she would be back, they both nodded and watched as she joined Jim, her hand coming to rest on his arm, but he didn't react. Stood at his side Sarah tried to speak with him but he continued to ignore her, turning to glance back at where Simon and Blair sat waiting for him in the car, she saw them already getting out and hurrying over to them. As they reached her she glanced at Blair and could see the worry on his face "Jim?" he questioned as he stood at Jim's other side. Still the tall detective didn't respond "Come on Jim, it's raining and your getting wet"

"I don't care" replied Jim in a whispered voice, almost to low to be heard but Blair obviously did as he looked to Simon for help "Jim you can't stay here" stated the police captain. Jim turned those same empty, emotionless eyes upon the older man and questioned "Why not?"

"Jim, I know your hurting but Katharine wouldn't want you to do this to yourself" stated Sarah her hand still resting upon his arm.

Something flashed across the detectives face before he slowly lowered his head and nodded his agreement allowing Blair to slip his arm around his shoulders to lead him back to the car. It was as though all the energy had left Jim. He allowed Blair to guide him into the car and then slipped in beside him. After a few minutes, after everyone was in their cars, the procession left the cemetery and headed back to the loft.

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Blair had taken Jim up to Kent's ranch under medical advice, care of Sarah. Jim hadn't been pleased at being railroaded into it but had accompanied Blair after Simon had suggested it would do his young Guide some good.

When they had arrived at the ranch Kent and Sally had greeted them and taken them up to their rooms before inviting them out for a ride. With Jim's injuries now healed enough to allow him to go for short rides he had agreed but they knew he had only done so for Blair's sake.

The Jim Ellison they had known from his visit with Katharine was gone, lost in a sea of pain and grief they feared he was drowning in.

As they rode through the countryside Blair repeatedly glanced back at Jim, usually the detective would have enjoyed being out of the city away from the noise, smells and sounds that went along with living in the city, but as he looked at Jim his expression was as pained here as it had been in the city. Blair suspected that the weight of grief Jim carried was effecting his sense's but the Sentinel refused to discuss it, in fact he refused to discuss anything. The most Jim had said in the past week since Katharine's death was to Sarah and that had been to relate to her how he was recovering from his injuries. Sighing Blair turned back to look at the trail ahead of them, he had never seen Jim like this, not even after Incacha's death had he been this remote, this unreachable. As he turned back he found Kent watching him.

Kent watched the display of concern upon Blair's face, he knew that these two men were close, he had witnessed it when they had brought Katharine up to visit them. Now as he looked at them however he could see Jim putting up a barrier between them. One he knew couldn't be allowed to be finished. Because forever how much of a single minded, independent person James Ellison pretended to be he needed this strange, long haired hippie. He needed to release the pain and grief or it would eat him alive.

Slowing his own horse so he came up beside Blair, Kent glanced back at Jim "Don't give up on him yet Blair"

"I'm not" replied Blair with a small smile. Kent nodded "Sooner or later he's going to break, and we've got to make sure it's sooner rather than later"

"I just wish I knew what to do to help him" admitted Blair sounding sad. Kent placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder and stated reassuringly "You know what to do, deep down you know what needs to be done. As soon as you realise it he'll break and will start on the road to recovery."

"I hope it doesn't take too long for me to realise it"

"It won't, trust me" stated Kent with a smile that radiated confidence in the younger man. Blair nodded and smiled back, something about Kent helped him, the older man had a way of boosting his confidence and setting him at ease. Kent's smile grew into a grin as he added "Besides if it takes too long, Sally intends to set about him"

"What?" questioned Blair in confusion

"Sally is going to make his life a living hell until he opens up. When she sinks her teeth into him she's not going to let go until he does" he explained

"Like a terrier"

"Yeah exactly like a terrier" replied Kent smiling as he glanced back over his shoulder at Sally who had pulled her horse up beside Jim and was talking to him, but clearly not getting the answers she wanted as she glared at the silent detective.

The sky suddenly became dark and the horses began to become jittery, bad weather was heading in so they decided to head back to the ranch. As they turned the horses on the narrow trail the heavens opened, lashing down heavy rain upon them until they could only see a few feet in front of them.

Jim glanced at Blair as he took up the lead, he knew that his young Guide was worried about him, hell everyone he knew was probably worried about him, but he no longer cared about what happened to him, he had lost one of the most important things in his life and he wasn't sure he could live knowing that he had failed her, failed his daughter.

Enhancing his sight Jim was able to see the path before them clearer than his companions. Patting his horse's neck he tried to reassure the nervous creature that everything was going to be all right, but as he sat up straight again and turned his sight up another notch, lightening suddenly flashed across the sky blinding him, and sending pain radiating throughout his head. The lightening also startled the horse, which reared up onto its hind legs, throwing him from the saddle to land hard on his back. The ground was slick and muddy from the torrential rain and he had fallen to close to the edge of the trail, still blinded from the lightening he started to turn over on to his side, but even as he heard Blair's warning shout he was already slipping over the edge and down into the ravine below.

"JIM NO!" even as Blair shouted he watched in horror as Jim slipped off the edge of the trail and vanished from sight. Jumping off his horse he ran towards the edge but was stopped by Kent grabbing his arm "Blair no the edge is corroding away!"

"JIM? JIM ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" There was no answer, which sent fear through the young Guide. Kent maintained a tight grasp on Blair as they both carefully moved closer to the edge to see if they could find any signs of where Jim had ended up, but they couldn't see anything passed the rain and heavy forest growth. "Come on, we can get down there further down the trail" stated Kent as he pulled Blair back over to the horses. After Blair had remounted his horse Kent grabbed the fallen reins of the scared horse Jim had been riding and they carefully moved down the trail, away from where they had last seen him.

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Jim had heard Blair's cry but it had been too late, a moment later the earth vanished from under him and he could feel himself sliding down the embankment.

As he slid he felt his body hitting bushes and branches all the way down, despite the heavy forest cover he was fortunate not to strike anything harder than a bush. We winced as he came to a stop at the bottom of the embankment, he could feel something warm running down his hands, he couldn't see yet, his eyes still hadn't recovered from the lightening. From the pain in his hip and lower back he suspected that was probably bruised but from what he could tell without a visual inspection of himself there wasn't any major damage. Slowly getting to his feet he turned down the pain dial as he turned his face towards the sky allowing the cool rain to ease some of the stinging in his eyes. Blinking several times he could see light penetrating the leaves above him, as he inhaled deeply he suddenly realised what he could smell wasn't the sent of a forest, it was the scent of a jungle. As his vision began to clear he could see more and more of his surroundings, his eyes confirming what his other senses where already tell him, he wasn't in the forest anymore he was in the Jungle, back in Peru.

Once his vision had finally returned to normal he turned in a slow circle looking for Incacha but the old Shaman was nowhere in sight, instead as he turned back to face the temple he saw the small fox cub appear, it stood with his own spirit guide upon the steps. He started towards it but the panther snarled at him, stopping him in his tracks. Confused he watched as the panther circled the fox cub protectively as though it believed he would hurt it in some way. "Why are you doing this Daddy?" Questioned a familiar voice from behind him, turning Jim was surprised to find Katharine stood just behind him. Dropping to his knees he crouched in front of her, his hands automatically reaching out to pull her to him, but his hands passed through her "Why Daddy?"

"Why what?" Questioned Jim confused. Katharine rubbed at her eyes as a tear began to fall "Why are you doing this?"

"What am I doing?" He didn't understand why she was so upset to see him, the sight of her made his heart swell within his chest, his eyes consumed every inch of her. Walking past him she moved to sit on the steps of the temple, but no matter what he did the Panther insisted he keep his distance. "I don't want you to give up on life, I don't want you to shut down from the people who care about you, about us" she stated as she stroked the cub at her side. "I never meant to hurt you like this Daddy, honest I didn't"

"You haven't hurt me munch kin, I know you didn't want to die... I'm just not sure I want to live without you in my life" he admitted sadly. Again her tears began to fall as the Panther rubbed itself up against her offering her comfort in a way Jim envied. He shook his head at the stupidity of that, why should he be jealous of his own spirit guide? Slowly he edged towards Katharine, but this time the Panther swiped a claw at him "Jesus what the hell is wrong with that cat today!"

"He's angry with you" she replied as though the answer should have been obvious to him "Your keeping me from moving on and he doesn't like it"

"I'm what?"

"Don't you know?"

"Know what? What do you mean I'm keeping you from moving on?" Jim had given up trying to get closer to his daughter and so had sat himself down on the ground a few feet in front of her. She sighed and looked at both the Panther and the fox cub, without her saying a word both animals stood and went into the temple.

With no spirit guide to stop him Jim stood and moved to sit beside Katharine on the steps to the temple, the news that he in someway was stopping Katharine from moving on scared him, the thought this his grief was causing his daughter distress angered him and he mental chastised himself for what he had been doing. "How am I stopping you from moving on?" he questioned trying to stay as calm as possible. Katharine sighed and looked out into the jungle "For me to move on I have to know that you're going to be all right. I mean I know Uncle Blair is with you, and that you have Uncle Simon and the others to help but you haven't been accepting their help. You've been closing yourself off from them."

"I haven't been doing it intentionally" he replied in a whispered voice. She shot him a glance and his shoulders slumped "OK maybe I have been, but I didn't know it was hurting you"

"it's not just me your hurting Daddy" she stated as she took his hand, he was surprised when he felt her solid hand come to rest within his hand.

She stood and pulled him to his feet leading him over to a water pool he hadn't noticed before, as they stood at the edge of the pool she looked down and instructed he do the same. Looking down into the pool he could see Blair sat on the back of his horse looking back and forth between Kent and Sally anxiously.

The scene in the pool changed to the bullpen in Cascade; he could see his friends gathered within Simon's office and after a moment he could hear their voices as well. {Have you figured out what we are going to do about Jim?" Questioned Joel

"I'm hoping we won't have to do anything, that Sandburg is going to be able to get through to him this week" replied Simon

"And what if he doesn't?"

"Well the police psychologist isn't going to allow him back on duty until he is completely satisfied that he is 100% fit"

"Yeah right, all Jim will have to do is go in there give Dr. Manson one of his cold glares and he's gonna have that guy quaking in his boots" stated H as he shook his head.} Jim watched as Rafe sat silently in the back of the group, something about the young man struck him.

As though another bolt of lightening had just gone off inside his head he realised what it was that was bothering him about Rafe. The young detective looked as though he hadn't slept in days, his eyes were red and he had dark circles under them, his clothes were not their usual immaculate style instead he looked like he had just come in from a homeless shelter. Shaking his head he looked at the others wondering if they had seen the change in Rafe, as he did he saw H and Joel glancing back at the unusually silent man, each with a look of despair within their eyes.

Katharine watched in silence as her father knelt beside the pool looking deep into it's depths, she could see the effect the images where having on him, but she could also see it wasn't going to be enough. Glancing back at a shadowy figure just within the doorway to the temple she knelt beside her father and using her index finger disturbed the calm pool sending ripples to the edges.

The scene changed to an unfamiliar setting, the faces remained basically the same perhaps a little older, Simon walked with H and Rafe as the marched down a long corridor towards what appeared to be an office. Simon knocked hard the door once and without waiting to be invited in stepped straight in. Inside the room a shadowy sat beside a motionless form within a bed, Simon and others moved over to stand opposite the shadow, it was only as sunlight came in through the closed blinds on the window that Jim could tell that the shadowed figure was in fact Blair. He looked thin and haggard, his hair was loose and looked as though it hadn't been washed in a few days.

H and Rafe staid on the opposite side of the bed while Simon moved to stand beside Blair, his hand coming to rest on the younger man's shoulders "Come on Blair, it's time you got out of here"

"I can't he needs me, what if he wakes up and I'm not here?" objected Blair his hand closing around the hand of the form laid in the bed. Simon's grip on Blair's shoulder increased as he looked down at the form and sighed "You know that's not going to happen Sandburg, he's gone if not physically yet, but certainly mentally. This is just a shell, Jim left us the day Katharine died"

"No he wouldn't leave us... He wouldn't leave me, not like this" stated Blair the conviction in his voice constricted Jim's throat. This was what was going to happen if he didn't release his pain and grief. His chest ached as he looked into the red rimmed eyes of his friend and listened to his heartfelt sobs as he sat holding his Sentinel's hand.

Slamming his fist down into the pool of water Jim closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. Katharine's hand came to rest on his shoulder as she knelt at his side "You have to let go Daddy, your not only hurting me, your hurting Uncle Blair and the others" she whispered knowing he would hear her no matter how loud or how softly she spoke. As he began to sob, finally releasing the pain and grief he had felt since the day she had died he felt her arms come around him, pulling her to him. He wrapped his arms around her as the tears streamed down his face "I don't want you to go" he sobbed onto her shoulder. She stroked the back of his head as she held him "I know, but it was my time. We'll be together again Daddy, I promise"

"Why did you have to leave?"

"It was my time Daddy, I know how cruel it must seem to have found me then loose me again so quickly. I feel it as well, but I promise we'll be together again." As his tears fell the jungle began to vanish along with the comfort her arms were bringing him, he didn't want her to go again but there was nothing he could do to stop it.

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They couldn't hurry because of the weather but as they drew closer and closer to the general location in which Jim had fallen they could see a shadowy form sat on a rock. Blair grinned as he dismounted and rushed over to where Jim sat "Jim are you all right?" he questioned as he approached. Jim didn't immediately react and Blair feared he had been hurt or possible zoned on something, perhaps the feeling of the rain on his skin, but as he rounded to stand in front of Jim he found that his friend was sat on the rock looking up at the sky, his face streaming with blood and water but he couldn't tell if the water was the rain or tears.

Something had happened while they had made their way down to him, something that had made the older man release the pain he had been in since Katharine's death.

Kent and Sally joined them, the woman quickly wrapped a blanket around Jim as Blair crouched in front of his grieving friend, unsure of what to do. A voice in his head, that sounded suspiciously like Katharine's instructed him to hold his grieving friend so that was exactly what Blair did. Standing he drew Jim into a tight embrace allowing the man to release the pain he had been holding in for so long. Other arms wrapped around them and he smiled gratefully at Kent and Sally who were both crying as well. They had waited for so long for Jim to let go of his grief, now that he was they could no longer hold back their sorrow for the man before them.

Once Jim's sobs had reduced to small hiccups they guided the silent man towards his horse, helped him on and started back to the ranch.

Blair lead Jim into the ranch house as though he was a zombie, tears still traced a path down both men's faces but Blair's were no longer tears of sorrow, his were tears of relief. Jim had started to heal, he had released his grief and now, only now he could begin to heal. Easing Jim down into a chair at the kitchen table Blair sat beside him, his hand resting on Jim's arm at all times, he watched in silence as Sally cleaned and dressed the wound on Jim's head and began to dry him off. Kent made them all hot cups of coffee and sat down opposite his silent friend, his eyes filled with compassion and relief. "Here get this down you Jimmy, it'll help warm you up" he said as he pushed the mug of coffee towards Jim, securely wrapping the man's hands around it. Blair smiled his appreciation as he accepted a mug himself then took a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

As the warmth of the coffee seeped into his hands and he became more aware of his surroundings Jim raised the cup to his lips and took a sip. He sighed and rubbed his eyes wiping away the tears that still fell, as he did he became aware of the hand resting on his arm and turned to see Blair watching him, relief evident upon the young Guide's face. "I'm sorry" he whispered as he set down the mug and pulled Blair to him, hugging him tightly. Confused Blair hugged him back then pulled away to look into his friends eyes "For what?" he questioned his hand returning to it's position on Jim's arm. Jim's hand came to rest on his as they looked deep into the others eyes "For worrying you" as though suddenly remembering they weren't alone he looked at Sally and Kent "For worrying all of you"

"Don't worry about it Jimmy, just as long as your OK now" stated Kent smiling

"I'm not OK Kent. I won't be for a long time, but I know now that I will be. I have people around me to help and I know that I'll see Katharine again someday" he stated. Sally nodded her agreement as she stood and hugged him "It'll be all right Jimmy, eventually it won't hurt so much" she stated a knowing expression upon her face. Jim nodded and hugged her back.

His chest tightened as he heard Katharine's song playing on the radio which Sally had left on when they had gone out for their ride. He tensed for a moment causing the others to look at him concerned but as he listened to the words again he sighed and allowed the tension to leave his body.

The End ....