War of the Worlds - [Chat Stories] 1 - Paul V's The Lag Monster

War of the Worlds

[Chat Stories] 1 - Paul V's The Lag Monster

Explanation of the following three stories

OK I'm about to post three stories inspired from tonight's chat but before I do I need to make a few explinations so they make some sense (yeah right like anything I do makes sense)

On the RC Chat we are plagued by three things:

Criminal #1: The Lag Monster

This is pretty self explanitory, the egroups chat service for the last two weeks has been terrible for lag.

Strangely enough after Paul V's The Lag Monster was written the lag monster vanished, hopefully for good.

Criminal #2: Typo Demon a.k.a 'Brian'

Brian is the name we eventually ended up calling the typo demon after I made a typo in channel and typed in brian instead of brain...

Brian is harder to kill and has therefore warrented two stories both of which are going to be posted.

Criminal #3: RDOD (Revolving Door Of Death)

This particular criminal appears to have it in for Marqaisa and occasionally Wesa, it hasn't struck me so Marq has said she shall be writting this story in an attempt to vanquish this terrible beast.

OK enough with the explinations... on with the stories.

Remember feedback wanted, needed.. I NEED MY FIX!! :?)

Kay

Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me and I don't intend to make any money with them. There are no intentions to infringe the rights of the legal owners.

[Chat Stories] 1 - Paul V's The Lag Monster

By Kay De'Vil.

Paul stepped out of the elevator to hear a string of curses from Norton drake. Standing just outside of the elevator he raised a curious eyebrow and cautiously approached the irate computer expert.

When Norton picked up the keyboard as though preparing to throw it across the room the Colonel decided it was time to intervene. Stepping up behind Norton he grabbed the keyboard from the man's hand and stood over him looking disapprovingly at him.

"Is there a reason you where about to destroy government property Mr. Drake?" he questioned

"What ISP does the government use!" demanded Norton his anger and frustration growing as he again glanced back at the screen "AOL?"

"How would I know?" questioned Paul in confusion suddenly finding himself having to hold the keyboard over his head when Norton made a grab for it

"What ever it is, it's crap. poor and simple the government uses crap ISP's and now I'm lagged to hell and back!"

"Is that all this is about?" questioned Paul in disbelief

"IS THAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT!" shouted Norton clearly at the end of his tether "NO" taking a deep breath Norton took a moment to compose himself before he continued "I was in the middle of something very important and then the lag monster stuck"

"The lag monster?"

"Yeah you know. that horrible creature that always seems to appear the instant you get involved with something important or interesting"

"OK" Paul lowered the keyboard and handed it back to Norton as the computer expert appeared to have clamed down some.

Norton accepted the keyboard, carefully replacing it on the desk, but when he looked at his screen he threw his hands in the air "AHHH, I give up. Here you have a go!" he stated glaring at Ironhorse "Gertrude elevator"

Paul stood for a moment looking at the computer screen then glanced over his shoulder to see Norton enter the elevator and the doors close behind him. Shrugging Paul pulled up a chair and looked at the offending piece of government equipment "Can't be too hard" he muttered to himself as he began to type.

TWENTY MINUTES LATER:

A muffled scream of frustration was heard from the basement as Harrison and Norton passed the stairwell leading down. They exchanged glances and Norton was unable to keep the grin from his but he wasn't smiling a few seconds later when the sound of a gun being fired came from the basement.

Harrison looked at Norton and Norton looked at Harrison before both rushed to the elevator and punched the down button.

As the elevator doors opened they could see smoke rising from the area in which Norton's beloved Cray computer resided. Rushing from the elevator they stopped shocked at the scene before them.

Paul stood with his service revolver drawn a strange feral grin upon his face as he looked at the smouldering remains of the monitor "That'll teach you" muttered Paul as he holstered his revolver

"PAUL!" exclaimed Harrison as he looked from the monitor to the grinning Colonel

"YOU KILLED IT!" exclaimed Norton mournfully as he wheeled Gertrude over to what remained of his beloved computer

"I certainly did" declared Paul

"But why?" questioned Harrison in disbelief

"Why what?" questioned Paul as though confused by the question

"Why did you shoot the computer?" demanded Norton as he leaned forward his fingers lightly brushing over the decimated monitor.

Paul looked at them with an expression of disbelief, as though they should have already known the answer to the question "It was the only way. I'm sorry Norton, but it had to die"

"WHAT HAD TO DIE!" shouted Harrison in frustration

"The lag monster of course" replied Paul shaking his head "You shouldn't have any more problems from it" he added as he turned and stepped into the waiting elevator.

Norton and Harrison watched in disbelief as Paul calmly stepped into the elevator pressed the up button and headed to the living area of the Cottage.

Paul leaned against the back of the elevator and burst out laughing, wondering how long it would take for Harrison and Norton to realise he had just shot out the old monitor the one Norton had complained about just a few days ago.

The end.

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