Show it comes from: Cupid

Title: The Lust of Love

Author: Adalisa

Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and let's face it, it's the only real reason to keep writing.

Distribution: My site, anyone else, just ask.

Summary: Sorry... to much could be a Spoiler.

Sequel to: The heart of love

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Trevor, Champ and all Cupid characters were created by Rob Thomas, who is a genious, and belong to Tri Star Pictures, Sony and to the guys of ABC who didn't knew what they had and let die a wonderful series. So while someone else takes them, I play a little with them.

Content: Champ/Trevor

Warning: This has m/m. You should know that already, since you found this.

Spoilers: The end of an Eros

Notes: What can I say? This episode was my dream come true... but saying anything would spoil the story. Oh... and if you wonder about it after you finish reading... Trevor did say _that_ line in the episode.

By Adalisa.

It sounds strange, doesn't it? Most people think that love and lust are two different entities that never mix. You don't say you lust the person you love. It's usually that you 'want' the person you love. Lust is a primal instinct, nothing to do with feelings or anything past the bedroom.

I must admit, I used to think that way.

But then, I used to think many wrong things before I met Trevor. I really never expected this, you know? To be lying in _his_ bed, wondering if I should get up or just enjoy the moment, the crazy turn of events that led him to my arms and me to his bed.

What? Oh, yes. I should be starting from the beginning, right?

Right. The problem is... I don't know where the beginning is. This time Trevor has managed to spin me all over and left me utterly confused. But if I take my time to explain... I guess I ought to stay right where I am... Feeling his warm body touching my body between the covers... Not a very hard decision to make, is it?

So I'd guess it all started last Tuesday, in the session with Dr. Allen. He came back furious from that meeting, ranting all over. After a while, and a busy night at work, I managed to pry out the trouble. Apparently, and old teacher of Dr. Allen appeared at the session and the 'Old hag' -as Trevor put it when he finally calmed down- declared that Love doesn't exist, that romanticism is dead... and that the myth of Cupid referred to a drunken man with a bow. More so, she engaged in a verbal sparring with Trevor... and although he never told me what it was about, I managed to get from the others in the group that she had emerged triumphant.

The next day, Mike told me it was about Trevor's past love life... or more accurately, is lack of one. Because, according to the woman, Trevor could not be Love's advocate if he has never fallen in love himself. Now I know where did Claire got her ice streak. For what I've heard her teacher is colder than the Arctic when it comes to love issues.

Anyway, that storm was short-lived. By the next morning Trevor was again his usual joyous self, and was bouncing around the apartment going endlessly about the multiple romances he had to take care of, about his latest project in the 100 couples department. A young man called Gabe who, by all means, was a hopeless romantic, and who needed a little boost on his confidence to find the 'magic' girl.

All is fine right? I mean... nothing there would make Trevor get depressed or anything right? Even when Gabe seemed a little too convinced by the new book of Claire's teacher. 'The End of an Eros', the end of love. A really depressing title if you ask me.

But what I was saying is that even so, Trevor didn't falter. He organized a date between Gabe and one of our regulars, Cynthia, and called him to work more than 35 times. Sure, I told him to stop before Gabe decided to get a restriction notice on him, but that didn't stop Trevor.

I used to think that nothing could stop Trevor... now I'm kinda happy that I was wrong.

Yeah, I have a very silly smile over my face. Indulge me, I'm living my personal fantasy here.

As you can guess, Gabe never went to his date. Instead, it was Trevor the one who had to go and put his face in front of the poor girl... But I didn't learned anything about that until seven hours later, when I got a call from a bar two blocks down Taggerty's, where I go to shoot pool when I have to get away from pressure. The barman is a really good man, and he called me to tell me that I had to go and scrub Trevor out of their business or they would call the cops.

Of course, I went.

And somewhere along the way I stepped into the twilight zone.

I got as far as the bar without suspecting anything was wrong. I mean... I simply was going to pick up my friend... it wasn't as if Trevor could get drunk, right? I had seen him eat and drink in excess without much effect.

Even when Shaun pointed me to the bathroom, telling me that he had never seen anyone drink as much as Trevor, I didn't suspect anything.

I mean, how could I suspect that my dreams would come true in a bar's bathroom?

Sure, the sight that greeted me there was more ranging to the nightmarish side. The smell wasn't any improvement... but things got better. Lots better...

Well... I didn't know that at the moment. I just saw my best friend, my secret love, talking to a toilet.

"I can't tell you how much you have to shower before I let you into my kitchen again." I told him, trying to get his attention. And he smiled at me... with a drunken face. I managed to get him to his feet as he rambled about love being nonexistent, while I was trying to avoid thinking about how close our bodies were, without doing a good job. "At least don't pull a drunk 'I-love-you-man' crap."

I shouldn't have said that, at least not out loud... because in that moment he threw himself at my arms, smiling at me with a strange expression I had never seen in his face before.

"But I do! I do love you! And I'm not saying that just because I'm drunk... so let's ourselves have our moment..." Suddenly he kissed me... he kissed my neck and tried to grab my head... "I love you! I love you..."

I managed to get him out of the bathroom and the bar without more embarrassing moments... I mean... He had told me he loved me! He _kissed_ my neck! And his touch was like electricity... a shock to all my senses. If it hadn't been for the smell, and for the fact that Trevor _was_ drunk... I might have let him do to me everything he wanted. I wanted to let him do to me everything he wanted...

I just wanted to feel his lips against my skin one more time...

Have our moment.

But I couldn't. You know I couldn't.

Oh... yeah... I'm in his bed, my arms over his shoulders. We're under the covers... but it's not what you think, really.

We got home between the talk of how his father was a man impossible to communicate with, and Zeus and his stupid punishment and Afrodita as the less than example mother. By then, Trevor was starting to make less and less sense. But I couldn't help to smile. I had to get him under the shower, to at least take a little of the stench off his body... off our bodies. After a fifteen minute walk with him in my arms -and I won't tell you how nice does it feel to have him in my arms- and I was smelling as bad as he did.

I only took him under the shower, when I realized that I would have to take off his clothes if I wanted to get him to bathe... and in his state... we both could do a stupid thing. I have never seen him naked... but I am totally sure that if I do, I won't be able to control myself.

I mean... it was hard enough to control myself when he was completely dressed and stinky... I don't want to think what could happen if the circumstances were somewhat better...

I have never been with a man that way. I haven't even got much information because I do not trust my mind there. And I never thought that I could feel like this for a man. That my whole body would be tingling just because he slightly brushed my skin.

We barely made it as far as the living room after I decided that the shower was off-limits until he got sober... I was somewhat detoured by Trevor sudden insistence.

Because he found new strength who knows where, and looked at me with that grin again. The grin that makes my knees go weak.

"I'm not that drunk, Champ..." he told me, and grinned. I guess some people would say that it was like being a mouse under the cat's paw... but I doubt that a mouse would feel so thrilled for being in such a situation.

Sure, I walked away, shocking my head trying to get my voice to sound convincing and him to understand that he was more than that drunk... and got straight where he wanted me. His bedroom.

I know, I must have looked like a reclutant virgin... but I really didn't want him to make a mistake, and my mind was convincing me that no matter what he said, he was under the effect of alcohol.

Me? I was under the effect of his eyes.

His glorious brown eyes that now were starting to look golden.

"Trevor... you're scaring me..." I told him, trying to find a good route of escape. Mm? Oh, sure. Rub it in my face that I did not wanted to escape. But how was I supposed to react? He was drunk! And let's not forget the 'don't sleep with mortal's' rule.

I don't know of what I was more scared. Of it being all a drunk 'I-love-you-man' type of nights that usually ended with a 'Oh-heck! What-did-we-do?' type of mornings or of it being real. That there was some hope that Trevor returned my feelings.

Why it scares me? Well... because if that was true I would not be able to control myself this much.

Yeah, I'm in his bed. Can you let me finish with my story? It has a good explanation, really.

When I told him I was scared, he stopped, and looked at me with something that looked like a teacher's look. You know what kind of look. The one that usually comes before the 'I know what's best for you' speech.

"There's nothing to be afraid, Champ..." He said, surprisingly clear for his state. He stepped closer, and I couldn't run away. He raised his hand, touching my cheek with extreme care...

It was just as when I had hugged him, only a thousand times more intense. I didn't even noticed the smell... The whole world summed to the place where his hand was touching me.

Everything froze.

I froze.

"I'm not doing this because I'm drunk..." He whispered so near to me that I could feel the words against my face. "Let's have our moment..."

It was so much like what had happened in the bathroom, that I half-expected him to kiss me then. But he just looked at me, as if he was waiting for me to stop him, to say something.

I should have said no. I know that. But I was drunk with his sight, with his touch...

How can his mere touch be so addictive?

"Let's have our moment." I whispered back. And then I couldn't say anything else because his mouth was over me. I was being kissed by him... First it was just a small contact with my lips... then it was his tongue inside my mouth... before I could tell my brain to work, I was kissing him back, because everything I wanted was there.

I cannot describe how it felt. But I can tell you that it wasn't like any kiss I had ever had. It was electric, it was magic...

It was divine.

And it was unique. We fell in his bed still locked in the kiss, but when we parted for air... well, the alcohol in his system finally took his toll and he fell asleep.

He cuddled next to me, so I couldn't find it in myself to move.

After all, this is our moment.

I guess I fell asleep watching him sleep. I know that he is not the most beautiful sight in the universe right now, and he really needs a shower... but I had never the chance to watch him like this. How could I explain to him that I wanted to watch him sleep when we have separate rooms?

I check the clock, and since it's 10:00 a.m. I know I have to get going. He was so drunk yesterday, that he will probably not remember anything, and I don't want to make things awkward by having him waking up in my arms. In any case, the hangover will be hard enough for him, so I better mix up my own recipe against it.

Still, it is hard to get away from him now...

O.K... So maybe my explanation wasn't that good.

Maybe he loves me, maybe it was just alcohol and that he thought that I needed it. I mean, how could I expect to hide my feelings from the God of Love?

Oh... but maybe he will forget. It could be like his absolute awareness that turns on and off at the most inconvenient times. If that was the case, I can go back to be his supporting friend, hear him when he needs me to hear... It was easy before, right?

Right. I'm deluding myself, I know.

How can I stay away from him now? How can I live without the sensations that his touch brings to my heart?

How can you live without air?

He stirs a little, and it's just the fear of knowing that it was all a mistake what makes me move. I walk into the kitchen, ready to make tea, coffee... and anything that can help him as soon as he wakes.

But as I start my day, as I get ready to face my own grim reality, I cannot stop my mind from going back to last night, to relieve everything I felt, I saw.

I finally understand the craving that has been eating me ever since I meet Trevor... It's something so wonderful, that I never believed that there were words to describe it.

Of course, I was wrong.

It's the all-consuming need to be at his side, to see his smile, to know he _is_.

An absolute lust for love.

And just for a night, during the time of _our_ moment... I could believe that he felt the same. I could believe that he wanted me.

What I felt last night, I'll never forget.

No one could forget the lust of Love.

To be continued...

--

Adalisa

-Obi Wan and Darth Maul Rule!

WhiteKnight's own Dama de los AU

Keeper of Obi-Wan's desire to wring Anakin's neck during TPM