Show it comes from: Cupid

Title: The Heart of Love

Author: Adalisa

Feedback: I love it. It's inspiring... and let's face it, it's the only real reason to keep writing.

Distribution: My site, anyone else, just ask.

Summary: As he has finally come to terms with his feelings, Champ tries to help Trevor to cope with a loss.

Sequel to: The needs of love

Rating: Pg-13

Disclaimer: Trevor, Champ and all Cupid characters were created by Rob Thomas, who is a genius, and belong to Tri Star Pictures, Sony and to the guys of ABC who didn't knew what they had and let die a wonderful series. So while someone else takes them, I play a little with them.

Content: Champ/Trevor

Warning: This has m/m. You should know that already, since you found this.

Spoilers: The heart of the matter.

By Adalisa.

He has one, you know. And it is too easy to break. I've seen it happen. Right now, I'm sitting on our couch, faking to read the lines of the latest script I'm understudying while he is in his room, watching the Three Stooges.

He is not laughing.

Trevor is probably the only one in America who sits absolutely silent during a Three Stooges' marathon. His silence is too heavy on the house, but I cannot think of anything to stop it.

It all began three days ago, when he went to rent a movie.

He has this theory about movies and real life regarding love, that basically puts all of real life romance in a forever 'freeze' state. Hate to admit it, but he is right. The trouble with today's romance is that people don't talk to each other, don't try to socialize and they never say the truth.

I know. I don't say the truth. I am terrified of him knowing the truth. But in the aftermath of this week's events... I could almost forget my fears and confess everything. If it wasn't for the small detail that I know it won't help him now.

He meet the trainer of the SeaHawks in the Rental store. A nice outgoing guy named Dan. They became friends, which is not a surprise. Trevor has this way of making immediate friends with anyone. If you could talk to him for just a minute you would be his instant friend too.

He is too friendly, too open.

While they talked, Trevor found out that he was single. And minutes later he meet another of our neighbors, Susan, a silent woman who lives just down the hall from us.

He immediately decided that they belonged together, and saw fit to tell me so.

How did he know? I asked him the same thing, just to get the usual answer.

He does has 50 centuries of experience. I guess that gives him some credibility.

Dr. Allen seemed unconvinced, but she always is regarding Trevor's plans. Even when he did got her her perfect man, even when he is hurting from seeing her with Alex... she will never admit it. She will never thank him.

Yeah, I know it's obvious that I hate her. But neither she or Trevor know. That's because I am an actor. I can pretend.

Of course, Trevor had omniscience... or still has.

Sometimes is hard to know. There are many things that he shouldn't know that he knows, and a lot of easy things that simply do not enter his mind. Some days I hope he still has it, that he still knows everything that goes around. Then I remember that if he knew everything, that would also mean my feelings, so I go back in my words and wish he doesn't.

That night, I was wishing for the first.

Because while I watched how Susan dodges away from Dan, Trevor was absorbed watching Alex and Dr. Allen play 'non- communication'. Sure, I'm jealous. Without even trying she gets Trevor's attention everyday, while I have to yell at him to be noticed as something more than just his convenient actor for his love mission.

That's the main reason for which I really hope that Dr. Allen's romance is headed for doom. That way I wouldn't have to see how Alex manages to insult Trevor every time he sits on the bar. Then it comes to me that if the Ice Queen manages to freeze that flame, it would also take Trevor one couple away from his goal, and I'm rooting for the bastard to show Dr.Allen that he loves her.

I'm not making much sense, am I?

If Trevor were mortal, I would just wait for Dr. Allen and Alex to tie the knot, and then go for it with Trevor. Take the chance. But I cannot do that. So I get frustrated. I get angry... and when I am about to leash out and scream out all my feelings, some thing hurts Trevor, and I forget all about my own pain.

I guess that's part of how love works, right?

And this time... this time he is really depressed. He had been so sure that Dan and Susan were made for each other. While we talked about them, that is, when Trevor was not musing about why Alex should tell him that he loved Claire and not tell Claire, Trevor had all the plan lay out. Never mind that Dan and Susan had just met, never mind that Susan was not only terminally shy, she was also terminally ill... everything would work out in Trevor's mind.

It is always like that with him. He sees the world through pink colored glasses that always have a happy ending to everyone.

And for a moment, I dared to believe him. Because very selfishly I thought that if Susan and Dan could have a happy ending... maybe Trevor would manage to give me, to give us, a happy ending too.

I'm way out of my mind, I know. There is no _us_. Susan and Dan did hit off. I heard Trevor congratulate himself all night, and I smiled happily about it. Another couple in the string that I checked as often as he did. Maybe even more often.

But when I turned on the radio I was painfully reminded that in real life, happy endings do not come. It crashed all over our pink cloud and showed his awful teeth.

Life does that.

Death does it more often.

Daniel died this morning, in a car accident. I was the one who told it to Trevor.

I was the one who had to explain it to him.

"Dan is dead, Trevor."

Because he doesn't really understand death, you know? He knows that mortal die, and immortals don't. He knows that death is the end of life. And Dr. Allen made him fear death not long ago.

But even her badly done shock therapy didn't made him understand that sooner or later he would face the loss of a friend.

The crash came much different to the ones I expected. I had expected another round of rush, of despair and of him going out to the tallest roof he could find. Not his silence sitting in our coach. Not his denial of all what he had done, all that he was.

When Dr. Allen came, to _yell_ at him because he never told her that Alex loved her... As if it was _his_ job.

Well, it is Trevor's job to make sure everyone finds their other half... but it is way too much to expect him to also act as messenger.

Trevor was so depressed that he never defend himself. He just assured her that he was wrong, that he would never again say that he had any knowledge about human relationships...

I just stayed in my room, very quiet.

I knew that he was saying the truth... or at least part of the truth.

I simply cannot stop feeling that somehow, Trevor is right, that Susan and Alex were made for each other. In that sense, he has always know everything about mankind. But he doesn't really understand how humans feel. If he did, he would have know why Alex doesn't has the courage to tell Dr. Allen that he loves her, why Susan tried to hide from everyone... why I still support him no matter what. Finally, she left, shocked. I guess she never expected Trevor to acknowledge she was right.

After an hour or so, I went out of my hiding place, wondering what to tell Trevor, how to make things a little easier.

"I feel as if I had lost a friend." Trevor said when I told him that Dan was dead... and it got me wondering...

I know I told you that Trevor doesn't handle death. And that's true. He handles loss very well, sometimes. After all, he lost all his friends, all his life, when he arrived here.

But he sees it as a temporal loss. He is confident that he will return to Mt. Olympus and regain everything. But this... this is a permanent loss. I don't think he has ever faced one like this.

Worse, it makes me think of how will _I_ feel when I loose him. You see, that's one thing I don't like to remember, but it's in my face all the time.

I _will_ loose him. I will wake up one day to find the one hundred beads in the string together, all in the side of the 'accomplished' missions... and Trevor will not be here. I know, I know. He will be in a better place, he will be happy.

It still hurts to know.

An hour after that, Trevor left, probably to look for Susan... He is like that, tries to overcompensate every little mistake he makes.

But I stayed home, not sure if I was mourning for a man who I had barely know, or for the love I was sure I would loss. For the love that would be forever unspoken.

He came back in the afternoon, carrying at least seven rentals. Comedies. Something that he never had rented, mostly because in them the romance was too puerile, too simplified.

That was two hours ago.

And that's my limit.

I can't stand anymore. A man cannot keep all his feelings bottled up, he needs to talk about them, to tell them to somebody, right?

Right.

I walk into his room, and sit at his side, not saying a thing.

After a while, he speaks, even when he doesn't turn to see me.

"Susan is going to be all right." he tells me. "They found her perfect match for an operation... It was Dan. She thanked me for introducing her to the man who will save her life, even when he is no longer around."

I say nothing, because there's nothing I can say to that. His flat tone tell me everything. The only thing I can do is stay and listen.

And he does something that I did never expected.

He leans on my shoulder.

I hesitate for a moment, before putting my own arm around his shoulder, letting him put his head in the crook of my neck. It does work fine, as I am a head taller than he. It feels amazingly right, and for a moment, I feel as if all the love in the world was here, surrounding me. He closes his eyes, and I know that he is still thinking about Susan and Dan, about Alex and Dr. Allen... about everyone he has touched, and all the couples he still has to find.

Still, that is not what is really going through my mind. I just think on how wonderful is to be near him, how much I wish to stay at his side...

"Thank you, Champ." his voice is so low, that I barely cached it. It fills me with joy. So I just close the friendly hug, knowing that it's the only close touch I will ever be able to give him.

"Any time, man." I hear myself say, knowing it's true. And we stay like this for a long time, the movie soon forgotten.

I could stay like this forever, just listening to his heart beat, hurt but still going on.

The steadily and loving sound that marks that it is there, that even when it almost broke, he has always managed to heal.

And I have a little comfort in knowing that maybe this time I helped him to heal.

Because it's the most dear thing in the world to me.

It's Trevor's Heart.

The Heart of Love.

To be continued...

--

Adalisa

-Obi Wan and Darth Maul Rule!

WhiteKnight's own Dama de los AU

Keeper of Obi-Wan's desire to wring Anakin's neck during TPM