***

Picture This...

Sometimes I think I would be better off if I never met you. All those long and lonely hours waiting in the darkness for you to return to me after another of our endless and useless arguments. All those days praying for you to recover from another wound you suffered in the line of duty. All those months hoping that you'll finally discover your true feelings for me.

I hate you for what you do to me. And I hate myself for hating you. Still, there's more love than hate. I love your smile, that smile that you only give to me. I love the colour of your eyes, that colour your eyes have after you made love to me. I love the sound of your voice when you try to get me to do something I don't want to do. I love your hair, wet from the rain, after returning from another futile stakeout. And I love the trembling of your lips against my fingers shortly before we meet in a kiss.

Partner... Friend... Lover... What comes next? I hope it will be Death. I don't want to lose your love and I want to love you till I die. I don't want hate to prevail. I'd rather die...

So, what if I never met you? Life would be easier, definitely, but nonetheless less colourful. I'm more a man with you at my side. You give me courage, compassion, determination, and above all love. But you also let me hate... those who hurt you... those who do not respect you... myself...

But all this cannot change the simple truth that I cannot imagine myself without you.

***

End.