It was a long day and night. Still I had to wait till 9:00am would come to visit (MIYABI's HOME Doctor) Dr. Rogers. The outside had come bright already, yet my clock indicated 7:30am.
MIYABI looked in pain, breathing a little bit hard. I changed a towel that I used for her BEDROOM. It was wet. "Ah, poor baby...you can't use news paper anymore. It's OK. It's OK. I do everything for you. Don't worry," I talked her very softly. She opened her eyes searching for where my voice was coming from. At 8:45am, on the Oct. 1st, 2001(Mon.), we left home headed VET.
I walked to my car holding MIYABI in my arms. MIYABI was wrapped up in a bland new towel. I could tell she lost weight.
It was the first time that I visited Dr.R. without a phone call. I (I should say MIYABI) was the second patient, and my name was called to come in a treatment room. Doctor asked me what was going on. I just said, "I came here ..... just... I have a couple of questions." I also asked him to give MIYABI some pain killer injection.
He knew me for a long time. He met all of my kids. He started to check MIYABI, and told me, "Most cases...maybe, it's time to put her sleep..."
I understood what he meant, but I denied. "Dr. Rogers,,, please, give her some pain killer...I am not ready... ," that's all I could say. I was choked with tears. How long had I been holding these salty water?
Dr.R. gave me facial tissue and said, "All right,kana...but, remember this. MIYABI had suffered enough. But, she has nothing to be afraid...because of your LOVE. Now, you have to fight with these suffering.."
He also gave me some medicine(for 10days) for MIYABI. I took the NOTE all what he told me WHAT,,HOW,,and so on.
Since then my everyday life had changed. I started to write in my diary that I haven't kept it these few years.
I also started to make my own WebSite to spend time at home as much as I could with MIYABI and other two KIDS.
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