10.17

right. I'm back. without a vengeance. I realised that I have a lot of things to do. and I realised that I can't talk to maril on the phone or msn properly. I think a face to face is so much better. okay that sounded funny.

anyway, I'm terribly proud of myself. YES this IS going to sound bloody SELF INDULGENT (meida would know what I refer to) but I'll say it anyway. I finished the full The Handmaid's Tale on friday night. terribly proud of myself. I don't really know exactly why I did that either. I finished the little bit of 1984 I hadn't completed the last round (gosh that book takes AGES) and then I thought let's read THMT and before you know it, voila! the book's done! like whatever right? *eyeballs rolling away...*

and besides that...talked to my buddy for a long time last night. and it was pretty good. wrote her another letter today. so buddy, that's 11 pages.

speaking of buddy. she took my entry again! ahaha. sometimes I get pretty proud of myself, that my buddy takes my entries. ahaha. so silly right?! but I knew shoukyo to sakujyo would strike something within my buddy...I simply knew it. well it struck something in me as well. which was why I bothered putting it up. okay not every single time I put lyrics up means it hit some spot of mine. sometimes it's for awareness and excitement, like why I put hyde's countdown (just to let the world know he's released yet another single), and sometimes because I like the song. and usually I like the song more than the lyrics. but anyway I put shoukyo to sakujyo down because it's one of the VERY VERY few miyavi songs which make any proper sense! and it's actually so angsty! *poses the existential angst pose*

okay I'm getting kinda nonsensical today. it's not possible for me to be 'angsty' today. really. well, you see. I had a good nap, I had ice cream for dessert, I saw vio/ebb/ihf, I talked to maril over the phone (again), I am talking to avril over msn (again), and I am listening to a superb song! the only irritating thing is that my btt is NOT moving. and I think that it's partly because I updated my btt and I must restart my computer for it to work. which is crap, because I'm not doing that.

and talking about downloading, I think it's time to sort out my mp3s and start to burn them out of the computer. some day my comp will die, and I don't want it to die with a vengeance, that is, taking all my stuff with it. and I must repair my archives too, otherwise my blog will die with the computer. oh neo...

but I finished downloading mazohyst of decadence PV! I'm so sorry to those who've made it this far down the entry to see jrock again. but that PV is...well at least the stuff they 'censored' isn't as bad as obscure. the dumbass part? I saw obscure uncensored before the censored one. at least MoD wasn't so bad. and actually I like the part where they film the entire flock of birds taking flight. like woo hoo the birds just take off together and fill the sky. should take screencaps again, no?

and half my caps are not appearing on lousy geocities! I think I should go get my ftp back and load it on topcities instead. lousy geocities just can't make it. simply cannot. haiz. must run to topcities to save my stuff.

and my miyavi single completed its download too! and sister commented that the kekkonshiki no uta sounds like some bump of chicken pattern. I don't know whether that's meant to be a compliment or an insult, because that particular pattern she's talking about is the super messy rubbishy pattern. but anyway it's cool, and the c/w is fun too. although he purposely sings in this weird raspy voice, the song is simply miyavi-ish. which is good. after the sorta disappointing miyavism, the old jang jang miyavi coming back is a wonderful sign. but actually I've found a few nice songs in miyavism, so it isn't that bad after all. but the style took a little twist, which deviated from miya, so I didn't really fancy the idea at first. but the songs I talk about are nice anyway. oh and the pop is dead c/w is sweet too. it's another itoshii hito (which I simply adore) but a little faster. it's the same accoustic feel as shoukyo to sakujyo. and here's a picture that came with the single download!

sorry about the quality. it's not my fault.

oh and speaking of shoukyo to sakujyo AGAIN, I'm still so impressed by the yadee gekokujyo performance! yeah it's the one with the double screen. I'd watched the ashita, genki ni naare part of the same concert, and man was it cute. but this time he performed shoukyo to sakujyo with the miyavi in the screen and it was perfectly timed. goodness knows how many rehearsals he'd gone through to get it all straight like this.

oh neo it's getting late. it's really late. time to sleep. before I do that, I'll post another set of lyrics. it's the english version of Secret Letters by hyde. he released this on his first album, roentgen. and somehow or another, it reminded me of count cain. the time when he promised merry that he'd return, he'd come back and be the best brother to her he'd ever be, and said farewell to her as she took the train home, and he never came back.

and yet another part makes me think of 1984. the part where sorrow seals our lips, horror stalks our sleep, but his heart runs out of the room into the town, running freely. sounds so golden country.

I am thinking too much. stash the lyrics and go sleep.

SECRET LETTERS ~ hyde

In the courtyard birds singing
Through the window bells ringing
Oh so tall and wide, these confining walls
I look upon the world below

Sorrow seals our lips tightly
Horror stalks our sleep nightly
But my heart escapes from this attic room
I'm running freely through the town

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

Peace is shattered by oppression
Tainted oil meets rejection
Yes and just in case I should soon return
My secret letters I will leave

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

Boarding the train I take in one last look
I'll keep these memories with me forever

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

I remember, remember you
I remember, still close to you
No need to fear the distance here

oh. I swear, offred's actual name is JUNE. everyone else mentioned in front is mentioned later. all. alma, janine, dolores, moira. except june. her lah!

and why am I hung up about it?

I want to keep you safe @ 0127

10.15

welcome to the blue world. I hope this colour can be seen on my blog. yes my dears, it IS the FIFTEENTH of OCTOBER. FIFTEENTH.

and I promised that I'll change my nickname after this.

what can I say. happy love avril day.

here's the 15th october entry of 2004.

October 15th

forget the love meridian day. forget the open house. forget them. today, I officially declare october 15th

love AVRIL day

seriously. I will show you why. here's how the story goes...

12am today, I called her. well strangely enough it was her idea for me to call her. I was about to go offline and all for sister and she said that I could call her after 11. which is really weird because firstly, she doesn't ask me to call her. next, it's terribly late. and...it's just wrong.

avril says:
u can call me after 11
avril says:
hahaha
avril says:
when they all go slp
--------------------------------------------------------

[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
eh wad time u slping
avril says:
not so early
avril says:
y??
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
can i call
avril says:
now?
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
later
avril says:
can
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
must fe uniform
avril says:
u tell me first
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
coz sister wants to use comp
avril says:
i stand by e phone
[46157] h-e-a-r-t-s-t-a-b-b-e-r says:
then cannot talk online

------------------------------------------------------------------

talk about shocking. I was shocked. she was actually in the mood to entertain me. which was really really weird and all. so strange. but never mind. I really called her in the end, and we talked and talked and talked until like OH MY GOSH it was 3AM in the morning, then she was moaning about not being able to wake up tomorrow, and how we ought to have an agenda for our conversations. then I thought about those days when eewei and I would call each other and we would come up with an agenda too. but I was like telling vril, but agendas don't work, because there's this last section called AOB, which basically encompasses everything else we sidetrack to. heh. no use. and for proving that agendas don't work, we ended up hanging up at 0330 instead. hehheh. terrors right. after that I was like gosh I am like so awake and how am I going to sleep like this?? then I yawned. so dumb right. really man...

then woke up this morning, so terrible. because I could barely wake up and my eyes hurt SO MUCH from sleeping so little and sleeping so late. then in the morning I was feeling so sick. I just felt like puking and everything. like GOSH I was some walking zombie. then ran into kurt. heh. khairiah didn't come. so wasted. then she could have conveyed her true thoughts to him personally. heh. then hani ran through the drama performance and we were like free until 1445. so since it was merely 11 plus, I messaged avril and went to meet her. initially I smsed her to ask where she was. then I remembered her last location was the canteen, so I thought perhaps I'd go look there since I needed a drink. then I asked christine where she was and she was like erm went home?? then I received that girl's message that she was at the staff room. like finally I went to see her. because earlier before running to the canteen I said hello to maril outside the lt and she was like avril's looking for you...and I was like yeah I'm looking for her too. she gave this OH MAN face and I was like heh. yeah so what if we have handphones today right. like quite useless. still having a little wild goose chase right. jia lat.

so I went to meet her, and then we were like laughing because they were playing all the stupid mass dance songs. then vril was like moaning because she was hungry and poor (gosh so pitiful sounding...yeah right) and so we went to get my coupons to buy her something, since she had simply donated her copy to her class or something. then we were like thinking where to go so as to avoid the noise, people and heat. we ended up at her 'favourite' spot man. the study bench at the end of the E4 corridor. heh. it's like her classroom is e4-3 and we go to that corridor's study bench. ah it was fun talking there. then we were like moaning about their lousy songs, her leaking testtube gift from rosalind lim and then they played somewhere I belong!! like finally something decent. goodness me. then before we left to pick lydia and ailing up they played my happy ending. heh. then I was like lavigne's image is like...gone. and gosh it started avril moaning about how she's getting in touch with her feminine side and all. honestly I don't think that's a bad thing, but unfortunately for lavigne, that wasn't her original image. she stuck out BECAUSE she was so punk and daring and all. but now she's becoming more and more mainstream and more public it has become like wrong. oh well TOO BAD.

then went to pick ailing and lydia at the main gate. they didn't tell me that caroline cheng pei and hui yi were with them. gave me a shock. anyways avril had agreed to eat dinner with me because I told mother that I wasn't going home for dinner. heh. so I decided to bring them around and vril was like you come and look for me later lah. and I agreed. so after about an hour or so (I think) the two of them left to do contact work and I went looking for avril. this time she was at the bench at the C4 corridor. and she was stoning. I walked up so fast, when actually I only had 8 minutes to spare with her. I had to report soon to lt3. then later she went down with me anyway. so we got it started. so lame man the story. but vril already knew it and she knew how cheesy it was. I mean like yeah. it's a superb combination of all the different sorts of dramas put together. and somehow all our perfomances of that script turned out different each time. somehow there was a difference in all of them. from the rehearsals to the performance itself. but who cares. then after that we had another hour before the next one. so we went to rot at the bench behind lt3. yeah we rotted there for nearly an hour and then I was like hUnGry...and so we proceeded to the canteen and bought my dearest apple crumble. they didn't have it earlier. heh. then we were about to go straight into lt3 when I spotted yenn weii. or she spotted me. ah either way. then we were like talking and then yuhan and shujing came along and we nearly talked past the time. so finally vril and I went for the final performance for the day.

so yay 5 pm, trace and I thought great it's over, pack and go. vril was like yay finally. then maril dropped like the biggest bomb in the world because we could only go off at 1830 even though it was 1700...there was like pure irritation on our faces. but since now vril and I had yet another hour to stone, we decided to really stone. we were like looking through the stupid 8 days (can you imagine we were THAT bored) and laughing about the new bu shuang drink because I was suddenly pmsing and she was like wah now you buay song me ahhh...and we just cracked up about the bu shuang drink. so dumb man. but nice. I think the can design is cool. and she agrees! yayayay...you know she was telling me about how her gang like asks her why in the world she keeps hanging out and talking to me. and she is like how in the world to answer??? I mean for her although it's her gang and it's her clique and all, somehow she doesn't fit exactly. like darn one more outcast from el? not really. she fits with her gang much much more than mae maril and I. she was like grumbling a little about yeah they're fun and crap and lame and everything that cliques do and they're like a secure bunch, you know that sort that comes together for any form of group work kind of bunch, but somehow the wavelength still doesn't meet properly. and I was somehow like laughing to myself. why? because at least I know this entire me and avril affair isn't that one-sided after all. heh. sounds like wrong. but it has always sounded wrong anyway.

okay back to my account. gosh stop sidetracking. and stop smirking. yeah at least you know avril loves you too can? goodness. like no wonder vril calls me deprived kid right. nono it's the funny little friend. heh. like so primary school. ahahaha. then it was 10 to six and vril and I thought of walking through all the stalls one last time, then we got stuck at lt1 and then it was six and we reported back to maril. then we were like moving hell lot of things and trying to wait fairly patiently for the beautiful phrase you are dismissed. I made avril like wait the entire day for me already. and I was like trying to hurry. I mean both of us needed to eat (since we like went without lunch) and wanted to watch the results of singapore idol. yeah jerry's finally out. like thank goodness. and so when we could go and I could like spend even MORE time with that girl, I was like YAYAYAYAY and I hugged maril. heh. like superbly excited. haha.

took the 81 to tampines and then we were like stuck, didn't know what to eat, didn't want to run into chemistry department and didn't want to eat too expensive. so...we ended up in the food court. haha. but anyway I paid for her (I promised her anyway) and she was like no need lah...but I was like quiet I'm paying and I asked her why she's so insistent she pay. she was like

because you're being nice and that's scary

like oh dear me. I was like OH MAN headache. because if you know me long enough, you'll know that although I seem horribly mean and sarcastic and sadistic and everything, if you're really my good friend and all I'm so darned nice to you sometimes, and perhaps really good to you and save you from a lot of stuff and cover you like mad if I wanted to. I'm the nicest to people I don't really click with actually. I'm like so formal with such people. trust me. the more I bully you and totally mean to you and super honest in your face,

the more I love you.

haha. sounds weird right. but that's the way I am and that's the way it is. it's good for you to know. so stop complaining that I'm so bloody mean to you. my honesty is the best way of telling you that I love you. really. at least you know I'm honest with you. I usually like sit on the fence or compliment people whom I don't really know or are good friends with. so dangerous. I'm quite a two face, so be happy that I'm honest. even though the sort of truth I present to you sounds horrid most of the time but relax okay? yeah maril that includes telling you that gwen IS cuter than you. I'm so sorry.

back to the dinner. it was nice yeah. ran into yaoqi. so crap. never mind. vril and I were like eating and then we decided to catch the singapore idol results on tv mobile on the way home. so I decided to take the 81 all the way back with her. I think she must have been super super freaked out today. first I told her this morning at the E4 bench that I wanted to stalk her (honestly I was practically doing that) and then I was like so nice to her today and I even decided to take the super super long ride home just to take the same bus as her. heh. haven't been THIS nice to someone for a long time. really. it's love avril day. I'm so serious. it's scaring myself too. is it? maybe not. it's just me.

then on the bus she was talking about yesterday, because they finished school like pretty early, she was thinking of looking for me. heh. smiles again right...terrible. but there was like no sight of year ones so she asked wensi where in the world all of us were. then wensi was like OH they have AHEM cheerleading in the hall now...then avril was like AHEM AHEM...gosh when she knew I was in she like laughing her toes off...then I suaned her back about the love meridian day 03s307 perfomance which was coincidentally ALSO cheerleading...like POT calling the Kettle BLACK...hurrumph. then she was like ah never mind, because the thing was her gang were all busy somehow and she didn't really know what to do and I think she wasn't exactly very willing to go with the rest to tm. then wensi was like you call her lah...then vril was like she has no phone. wensi gave her that absolutely weird stare. she was like I have never heard of a j1 who has no phone. avril was like yeah she has NO phone. instead, the 2 of us are like SUPER determined to get our mp3 players this year. I was like after your a's we'll go get our players together okay?? and she was like onzzz man...ahaha. no one would understand my rationale other than her. seriously.

well anyway she got off, then she smsed me the sg idol results and then I called her. ahaha. she was like uh why you call...but who cares. I did. she told me not to call her for the next 3 weeks. I will really try. and like seriously try. the last time I wanted to call her only after promos partly for my own sake. I mean I was supposed to study so better not to call her. then she benefits as well right? but this time I'm the one with more time and everything. but she doesn't. she says DON'T call, I really must try not to. and I won't.

honest.

anyway, just as we thought this love avril day was OVER, I came online at 10 plus and guess what. yeah you got it. she was online. talk some more. gosh my throat is a goner. from the 3.5 hour talk to the lack of sleep and the tiring open house to the late dinner and the continous talking. jia lat. like this is super bad. sigh. and you know like through the day, when I either wasn't with her or wasn't talking to her, I typed some messages and saved them into the phone. here they are.

1) uhh! why isn't she replying?! Ah! you know what, I think I MIGHT just die without her around. and that's terrible. Ah again. coz I'm strong enough to live without you...Not.

2) strong enough, and I'll quit crying...more like I'll start crying...So sad. So tired. where is hani...I want to find her like now. It's her last day here...

3) ahahahaha...you know I'm spending so much time with her and it's just killing myself. sigh. never mind. I shall have to learn to oh well, live without her...

4) you know I'm like spending so much time with her. So much. I never thought that her being one year older to be so hard to bear. well, never too late. double sigh. and she's sleeping now...

1. was in lt3, our practice session. then later I went to look for her at the staff room. 2) is actually the continuation of 1. I didn't have enough characters left. 3) was later. because after we were done peering through 8 days, she wanted to sleep. 3. and 4. are together too. so sad huh. of course the rest of the song of strong enough really DOESN'T apply here, but the chorus is like enough. must really try to survive. it's crazy you know, if I can barely survive without a best friend around. she was like so darned excited about farewell assembly and all and I was like wah lao then school so sian. she was like huh why. and I was like because no you?! like sTuPiD question. so there.

see why it is love avril day now? so memorable. we talked SO much today. gosh. so tired. but so satisfied. okay that sounded wrong too right? okay let's take it that I really enjoy spending time with people whom I love, and for once I feel that it isn't just me spending more time with ones I love a lot,

but that others spend time with me because they love me too

I love you avril. really. one of my greatest friends. somehow. smiles. no darling don't cry. you'll still see her around. and after her a's you can call her, go out with her blah...stick it out girl. you'll make it. she didn't cry. so don't too.

we'll see each other past 2044 okay...even if we drink too much of bu shuang or become more cao bin and cao lao, we'll make it.

happy love avril day

and I don't have anything else that I want to say already. thought of putting the lyrics of evergreen here, but decided against it. it's better this way.

happy love avril day. we'll make it to 2044. should have bought ribena today.

I want to keep you safe @ 0027

10.13

woot! screencaps are so much fun. they're fun to do, fun to play with, but I don't understand the value. other than giving you an insight on the file (and thus inducing you to download) I don't really know why people love looking for screen caps. but anyway I've done a full page for the miyavism limited edition dvd file. the dvd comes with first press only, and the file is happily available on tonberry. =). I put aside a page because 1. the bandwidth may die, 2. the non jrock fan friends of mine are screaming. so I have to push meev away...

screencaps page!

right. anyway...must make up for the absent days. let's see. tuesday. OOOOH tuesday. ahaha. had consultation. the thing is, meida didn't come, and so I'd agreed with mae to go for consultation together. trouble was, silly mae happily asked me what time mine was, and didn't protest when I told her 11am. but in actual fact, the silly girl had GP from 1015-1145! argh. so I prepared myself to go alone, because maril had GP too. but it turned out that mona lisa didn't appear in class, so maril came down. woot, right?

she does help. and somehow it's more comfortable knowing maril's there. meida and I together only help each other dig holes. seriously. although it was uber distractive (seriously, what with the chinese songs, the japanese songs, foreign exchange, pigoons, brave new world, deus ex machina) it was alright. okay maril now that I've gone for consultation ALONE before you must keep your mouth shut. hurrmph. HAAHAHAHA.

yesterday was a rather long day...but ended with ebb anyway. not that I minded. but poor thing went to ask painful questions about attendance, which was really awful. I think about nearly half the cohort was there. problem is, lt1 is a 150 seater, and there are only 97 lit students. thus if almost half, let's say 50 people went, it only filled up 1/3 of the seats. and because we were like seated toward the back, it looked simply terrible. poor thing. and he still asked! maril was like aiyah he knows it will hurt still ask...

and then today I got to school EARLY! like WOW. that's like amazing. I actually woke up earlier than usual (as in I dragged myself out of bed immediately after my handphone rang instead of lying in there for the next 10 minutes), and caught the 81 I ALWAYS miss! woot.

wonderful final GP tutorial with mr yeo. poor thing. I think we've squeezed everything he's comfortable talking about out of him. thereabout, lah. we squeezed everything from his girlfriend to his mother, from esther lai to michelle wong to mr wee. wow. all people, huh. and bitchie asked if he were gay. yay. clarence is a HOMOPHOBE. full stop. period. well whatever. but it's utterly unimaginable for clarence to wear a pink shirt, bermudas and slippers, slinging an LV bag and walking a poodle, right? EEW in fact.

oh man that was terrible. EEEEEEEEEEEWWWW.

AND ANYWAY. that's about it really. all I meant to gush about was the screencaps part. so proud of myself. rubbish!

time to go miyavi singalong song!

I want to keep you safe @ 1439

10.10

don't want to say much. just that I'm wailing to clarence a lot today. and maril's wonking out on me. she's maril the econs monster today. jialat.

and absolutely fallen in love with shoukyo to sakujyo. will put lyrics here. maybe it explains why I'm so whiny. I've modified it a little because meev's english can't make it, and the translator did it in quite a rush, I think.

shoukyo to sakujyo (erase and delete) ~ miyavi

I deal with the present head on.
Because it was my fault that it turned out like that.
This is no time for crying.
So don't be down in the dumps.
Now I've sorted everything.
I hope that we can cope with--

Ummm, is it a punishment for too much mischief?
Please no....No...
Would you say, "its a lie,"
if I promise that I'll never do it again?

A toy box filled with memories, almost overflows over my hands
Covered them again, leaving the key inside this time

I try and try not to move it,
forever, forever I hold my breath,
secretly I really really wanted to view it longer.
The blocks crumbled.
Ahh.

Casket with a teardrop, some tears spilt out
If I open the cover, would I grow up into an adult?

With a rattling sound, it comes apart,
but I, I just gaze at
A slow motion scene.
It's supposed to be in slow motion...

Just a sneeze and it is not strong enough

Time was, moving, moving, and moving but is now stopping
Why is it this way?
I know, I know, I know but still why?
Well... I don't know.

Would I actually feel relieved,if I "Erase'n'delete"?

Yes, I would.

I would!

God...it's so noisy.

Erase and delete

---------------------------------------------------------

I just love the song. music and lyrics. ALL. so...aah. apt. shit. apt.

I'm seeing vio aka ihf aka ebb tomorrow. must find proper acronyms. these are terrible. sheesh. yap mae save me okay. stupid ALMEIDA ALL YOUR FAULT.

breathe in, breathe out. GO SLEEP.

oh I just burned 5 discs worth today. yeah that makes 3.5GB. and I'm not done, obviously. I think the next thing plagueing my computer are mp3s. I'll have to archive them somehow. especially my more complete ones, like diru and miyavi.

looks like my loyalties still lie in diru and meev. oddly enough.

my folder is now 5GB plus. yay! must burn more, get out more. otherwise my computer will really go kaput, then kaboom. gosh NO.

what a nightmare. erase and delete!

I want to keep you safe @ 2319

10.09

nothing much to say really. as usual. then I'd type so much. visited some interesting websites. great overhaul of jrock pictures. again. and I realise that my picture numbers are just simply overwhelming. hyde's pictures stand at 96, gackt at 107, kyo at a mere 48, toshiya at a smaller 36,

and miyavi at...225.

this is absolute madness. and there is no method to it. and I spotted this very amusing picture. okay it isn't meant to be amusing, obviously, but I thought it terribly humourous.

this is (from right: akiya, izumi, isshi, nao, shin. they are KAGRRA.

akiya has this HURRMPH face, izumi is like hey...what's wrong with the guy man look, isshi happily looks forward, as if he says don't bother about petty people. look at the camera! pose! nao just stands there and goes none of my business man...and shin simply has this don't know what's wrong with all of them...

I'm sorry if you didn't find it amusing. I did. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

oh and I downloaded hyde's performance on music station. man do I miss that programme. tamori san!!! and I don't know what's stuck in hyde's throat, but although he's singing better than hello, it's still...I don't want to comment.

but hyde still looks good all the same. hurrmph. *adopts the akiya look*

grah. nothing left to say. buddy called last night. finally. I guess she's alright by now. must have been traumatising on tuesday.

oh. lian sze asked me to join ProjectServe PArts. hmmm. I don't know. don't know if I'm ready for it. I'm not really for ProjectServe east area, but PArts isn't really...I don't know. we'll see.

more pictures mean more layouts coming. let's plan all over again.

january: kangta
february: izumi
march: kirito (unconfirmed)
april: nao (unconfirmed)
may: hide
june: miyavi
july: he jun xiang
august: kyo
september: gackt (unconfirmed)
october: too faraway...

10.07

right. short one. just to account for my absence. simply put, wednesday was spent in EH celebrating lydia and amanda's birthday. what a crazy night. played all the settlers games and screamed half our heads off. which kinda explains why I'm sick now. damn.

thursday was normal, and so was today. but of course I had a 30 minute encounter with intelligence in the human form, and that is fully accounted in maril's mail. yes my dear, replied.

daddy came home today. had a little chiding about prelim results. they don't suck, but they aren't great. so...I don't know. never mind.

mizu got me my cd-rs! so it's burning time, before my sister burns me first.

better study, or at least look studying tomorrow. no. study. lots to do tomorrow. too many consultations. I really hate the idea, but I don't have a choice. there's lit 4, lit 8, gp and econs to do for the next week. sucky.

I'm so tired. sleep.

I want to keep you safe @ 0015

10.04

today's entry another jrock thing. counting down SIX days to the release of miyavi's new single! woot! yeah the madhat DAAARLING boy is releasing yet another crazy song called

kekkonshiki no uta

in other words, it's a song about the WEDDING CEREMONY!! AHAHAHAHA after the weather is going to be nice tomorrow (ashita, tenki ni naare), the prerequisites of a superstar (gyakushu no ROCK ~superstar no joken), now it's the WEDDING CEREMONY!!!

guess why I love miyavi.

WAHHHHHH!!!!!! and the c/w is not bad too. went to listen. the PV for kekkon is ON THE WAY! and VERY WELL on the way too!! it's like one third done already! so COOL RIGHT??!!!

oh dear I'm getting very excited. OH YAH!!!! I finished downloading the ULTRA huge scans (mizu-san says I can PRINT POSTER with them) of the dir en grey releases! and the average fury ones are simply FANTABULOUS. that's IT! my layouts will simply go through the scans....and they are seriously huge. most people's computers are either 800x600 (that's the same as school), or the icons seem smaller, at 1024x768. these scans are....

3392x2536

HUGE OR NOT??? HUGE OR NOT????!!!!! WAH VERY HUGE ah!!!

okay I typed the word huge so many times it doesn't look like huge anymore...but COOL RIGHT?! it's uber big. really. and I'm so excited!!!!!

breathe in, breathe out.

you know, as I was telling mizu the other day, I'm so glad that I don't have a dvd burner. otherwise I'd burn my computer silly. as in seriously. now my files are limited to below 700mb, because beyond that size I can't burn them. cd-rs can only take that much. but if I had a dvd burner...

oh dear. no no no that's a bad thought. it'll be like GOSH so much lah! like miyavi's nihon budoukan concert!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! he sang like nice songs!! many favourites! the old ones, like shindemo boogie woogie, girls, be ambitious (^_^), gariben ROCK! and the newer ones like superstar no joken, and AHH ossan ossan ore nanbo!!!

honestly I don't know why I like miyavi's music. it's so...boring. ahahahaaa. well to put it simply, it's just jam jam jam, same few chords, similar melody throughout, can't tell verse from chorus etc. and ossan ossan ore nanbo has only those 4 words throughout! yeah he sings ossan ossan ore nanbo again and again and over and over again. and I was wondering about the lyrics to that song before...

and and and I think I should get the original PV of mazohyst of decadence. I must complete my dir en grey PV collection! and get my hands on machiavellism. MUST. MoD not so urgent. I have the original censored version, really, thanks to mizu. but MACHIAVELLISM!!! gosh I learnt how to spell that from dir en grey for nuts sake. yeah I learnt it in utopia class first but couldn't spell it for nuts. now I can! WOOT!

okay I'm not making sense. I think it's this disease that miya spreads. after listening to his stuff you feel like jumping around and going crazy. oh and partly because my mood's not bad today. and that I'm feeling cooler now. just now I was feeling so warm.

rubbish. it's the power of meev's music. AHAHA. hormonal therapy. EEEEE like the nine o clock show!!! YIKES. or it should be YIEKS. AHAHAHAHAHA

nuts already. go SLEEP!!!!!!!!! better go pack my bag, especially that gp script, otherwise clarence will SCREAM his head off (oh yeah he can) if I go for consultation without my script!! AHHH!!!

and tomorrow will see VIO!!! WOOT! he was wearing his o'brien getup again today. *spots maril rolling eyes in the far corner*

and I HATE BANDUNG!!!! ARGH HOW CAN ANYBODY DRINK THAT?????!!!!!!!

and MIYAVI ROCKS! WOOT! woot for MYV!!!!!!

10.02

I LOVE COUNTDOWN!!!!!!

in case you're wondering what nonsense I'm talking about, I'm talking about hyde's lovely NEW SINGLE which is simply fantastic. the closest thing to this was hello, which was such a scream. as in, I felt like throttling hyde because something bad happened to his singing and I was so upset, even though the song was nice. but this time it's hyde, still not the same as laruku, but going on STRONG and the song is simply AWESOME.

still love hyde. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! there are days when diru moves aside after all.

and I'm disgusted that my -miyavism- (yes I have it) is not supported by my mp3 player. although I'm not surprised (the girl always has her files in the most updated formats which require the latest plugins), but I'm still irritated. so I'm going back to tonberry to get the entire thing all over again. like yay? but I must let at least one of my current downloads finish first.

I still think I'm such a goondoo. I don't know why I decided to download miyavi's concert vcd 2 before vcd 1. and so now I've finished watching the end of the concert, but I don't have the front, which has some lovely songs I like, such as jibun kakumei and gariben rock. oh and the entire coin locker baby and hatachi kinenbi series. yeah the parts where he talks nonsense. and I think the VERY CUTE ashita tenki ni naare is there too. what's so cute about it? basically miya is onstage with his guitar, and he plays this prerecorded video behind him, which is also miya with a guitar, and 'they' coordinate VERY WELL!! ahaha. well concert gimmicks...that we all LURVE...

and now I'm uploading that vcd 1 at 10kbps, while I'm downloading NOTHING. which infuriates myself. but the dir en grey scans are coming along VERY well. actually I was merely interested in the fact that it came with average fury's pictures. they are simply lovely. as in the non diru pics. GOSH I ACTUALLY SAID THAT! or actually I haven't seen the diru pics yet. so maybe I'm in for a lovely surprise? and I've transferred clever sleazoid into my player, so maybe I shall listen to it over and over and see if it can salvage its poor impression on my mind like -saku- did. boy did saku do well. I love saku too!!

but I love countdown more!! woot! hyde's english is improving! oh and he re-released evergreen's english version, but this time it's a ROCK version! so there's no more hearing hyde barely breathing any air into the mic, sounding like his death is near! no more! this new arrangement ensures that hyde's powerful vocals come back with a vengeance and boy does it ROCK. although it's true that some of the chords have changed, and the interludes are definitely different, I think it's still a lovely song in the end. he's rocked it well.

before the jrock saga continues, I guess I must add in some things about the more normal side of me. yes I consider the jrock part a very odd side of me. especially when I look nothing jrock. you know there are some jrock fans who are OBVIOUSLY jrock fans. their hair, their fashion blah. the only jrockish thing that comes out of me is my gothic touch on certain layouts, preference for black and silver as well as my obsession with safety pins.

oh that's it. I'm cutting my hair like miyavi. ahahahahahahaha.

speaking of hair cutting, maril's hair looks fine. nothing laughable. don't even understand why she wanted to cut it again. and speaking of maril herself, she and gwen have put their blogs ON HOLD because the two darlings want to study. like oh yay? I don't know. I need to study too, but I don't believe that blogging will take up a long time. maybe just about 30 minutes typing furiously once a week, then stop when the a levels hit singapore, and type every single day after that. so my poor daisuke will only see words from 1st-7th november, and from 24th-30th november.

and since we're at layouts, let's talk a little bit. I think my takeo X kohta picture is still terribly nice, and the design/inspiration is great. but the problem is that it looks more like wallpaper than anything else. and I realised that I didn't put in the watermark! there is no trace of 'girls, be ambitious' anywhere! maybe you're wondering why I'm so hung up about labelling it there. I don't know either. just that I like to label it there. it's small and nearly faded into the background anyway, so it's not so bad. I will always remember my first attempt at webpages, and I watermarked my pictures so horribly. first of all, those pictures weren't mine, so I was being terribly unethical by covering up their watermarks with mine. secondly, I did it SO horribly, because what I did was that I screened off the bottom part of the picture, like I highlighted the bottom pixels with black, and then I typed a HUGE 'purehyde' at the bottom right hand corner in BRIGHT yellow!!!! that sounds even more horrible that blue neurose. it was childish looking, and terribly unethical! oh the HORRORS!

okay I think the jrock cycle is coming full circle. and before I go on, I shall stop my fingers from running all over the keyboard and go to sleep. yeah I took a nap this afternoon, but hey I still need sleep. I've been sneezing the whole day (don't know who was cursing me) and I'm afraid I'll fall sick. and I can't afford it. it's the critical period, remember?? ahahahaha. and I already so lazy. I shouldn't sleep so much anymore. it's terrible business for me. eunice was still asking me today if I'm pia-ing yet. I was like erm...hmmm....ahahahaha...you know.

I shall sleep thinking of countdown. oh dear. I should be counting down to a levels, shouldn't I? ewww.

countdown ~ music/lyrics: hyde

10.01

Happy Children's Day!!!

okay that was erm LAME. but whatever. got that message from victoria like first thing today. GOODNESS. and I didn't even realise. I thought she spotted me from the bus stop or something.

anyway...started the day with going for the what's next conference. it's too much of a mouthful to explain it, but anyway it was a real crazy morning. and all the people I knew were facilitators!!! angie!! why like that!!! but it was okay lah. the other jc people were pretty nice anyway. and the jj guy is nonsense. and then went for lunch with vicky! woot! ate a lot at ljs and talked more rubbish. there's a reason why she ranks number one on my chat logs list...so sorry dear marilyn is fourth in line. haha. not that I don't talk much with you or anything. it's just that the response is not fast enough, and we don't talk enough rubbish online. that's about it. the numbers aren't very representative...

and actually I'm waiting for my silly buddy to call. so while waiting, I shall talk about layout! no lah, just kidding. but although it IS gay gackt (or gackt the gay?) as the layout, I still think he looks rather nice. he has that dreamy effect that I wanted. not bad, eh? and at least he looks better this way than those stupid cornrows of his!!! and my sis said that the only way to get rid of cornrows is to like cut it all off. or rather, shave it all off. now I'm wondering what they did to shinya's hair...because for the release of vulgar, shinya dreadlocks. which are just as bad. and then saku saw him with his normal haid again. hmmm.....

okay SWITCH! marilyn has kindly requested for an elaboration of the points I stated last entry. oh wow. MANY POINTS YOU KNOW! but I'll roughly bleagh my way through.

3. meida and that girl. and what she said.
I can't say it here. meida knows what I'm talking about. skip too.

4. maril's mail 
okay this took me a while, but I think I found it. 

5. vicky's messages
she's alright now. so it doesn't matter. skip.